How to Get Through Separation as a Family

Going through a divorce can be very difficult, especially if you have children. Prioritising communication between you and your ex-partner will help you maintain stability for the kids and minimise stress.  

We’ll guide you through practical steps to support the whole family during your separation, from co-parenting strategies to emotional well-being.  

Open and Honest Communication 

Communicating with your partner can be tricky during a separation, especially if it’s not an amicable split. Angry back-and-forths will only prolong the process and upset everyone involved.  

Try to actively listen to your partner’s concerns and thoughts instead of dismissing them out of hand. Ask questions and be willing to hear “no” in response. You won’t agree on everything – separation is a long process that involves compromise.  

Modelling good behaviour with calm, respectful dialogue will make the process easier for your children. Shouting matches between parents can lead to trauma in their children, with feelings of self-blame and behavioural problems.  

Legal Considerations and Support 

After you decide to part ways, several options are available. You could get a legal separation without divorcing or ending a civil partnership. This can be useful if you want time and space to decide whether you want to end your marriage.  

Seeking advice from divorce solicitors will ensure your legal rights are protected, and any agreements are handled fairly during the separation. Consulting with the expertise of a qualified solicitor can take away the pressure of making arrangements for your children or dividing assets.  

Supporting Children’s Well-Being 

Children will usually have complicated feelings about their parents separating, but you can minimise the long-term impact on their mental health by supporting them. When parents focus together on their children’s needs, it makes a big difference. 

When telling your children about the divorce, choose a moment where there’s enough time for both of you to answer all their questions. It might be a massive shock for them, even if you and your partner have known it’s coming for a long time. They’ll need time to absorb the information, and you must let them know it’s okay to be close to both of you.   

Avoid blaming or criticising your partner or arguing with them in front of your children. This goes for their relatives as well. Behaving in ways that create tension when your partner is around won’t achieve anything positive. 

Building a Positive Future Post-Separation 

Establishing a new routine will help your family move forward. Stability and predictability at meal times and bedtimes across two households can make your kids feel secure and in control. Ask them for their preferences when creating new routines to make them feel included.   

You should also agree on the routine with your ex-partner. While it’s important to be flexible, if one of you is consistently unavailable when looking after the kids, it can lead to disappointment and hurt feelings.