Introducing a week of rainbows. Day 1: What do rainbows mean to our family?
Throughout October I have been raising awareness of Pregnancy and Baby Loss Awareness month wherever possible, and I have been grateful, and truly saddened, that so many others have shared their own stories of loss in the hope that together we can make a difference. Now, with the month drawing to a close, I think that it’s important to also share stories of hope and to tell you that although the loss of my babies was devastating, and although we felt that at the time our whole world had ended, it hadn’t.
Sitting here as a Mummy of five, we have weathered the storm, and the aftermath it left behind, and we have emerged the other side with four beautiful rainbows who make me so proud, and so happy, every single day. Some of you may be familiar with the term, ‘Rainbow baby’, but for those who are not,
“It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. I means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of so much darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of colour, energy and hope.”
And I think it’s important to stress that this doesn’t mean that our baby was a storm. Every single one of my pregnancies was wanted, and precious, and utterly wonderful in its own way, but the days that followed our losses were the darkest of storms, absolutely. Saying goodbye to Joseph was a storm that I genuinely didn’t think we would survive, and with every baby we subsequently lost, our hope of a rainbow seemed even further from our reach.
Rainbows became very important to my family and friends after losing Joseph. Whenever we saw a rainbow we would tell Lewis, then just two years old, that it was a hello from Joseph, something that brought us all a huge comfort over the years. There were days when I really struggled, during the divorce that followed and the personal battles I faced, and on those days especially I would look up into the sky, desperate for a sign, the encouragement to keep going, a small reminder that there was still so much of life to look forward to.
And, as with all storms, a break will come, the rain will ease, the sun will shine again and one day, one miraculous day, a rainbow will appear.
We are very fortunate that, amongst so much sadness, we have experienced so much joy. To be blessed with one beautiful rainbow was more than I could ever have hoped for, but to hold four precious rainbows in my arms is something that I have never taken forgranted, and there are days when I still have to pinch myself to believe that they are really mine to keep.
For all of these reasons, rainbows will always be a huge part of our family, a much needed ‘hello’ from Joseph, a symbol of hope, a reflection of happiness, a gentle reminder that life goes on.
We have so much lined up for Rainbow week – reviews, baking, arts and crafts, a brave story of hope and three amazing giveaways. I hope that you will join me, somewhere over the rainbow.
I never understood why the term rainbow baby was used. Thank you for explaining so beautifully and I will follow your rainbow week with interest. Thank you for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT
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Thank you. Rainbow baby is such a lovely term and I am so happy to have four of them. Xx
Ahh thank you so much. xx
Lovely words and an inspiration to those going through similar experiences. Thank you for speaking out.
Thank you Helen. It’s important for others to know that there is always hope. Xx
Rainbow baby is such a lovely term. Such lovely words and inspiration for those that have or are going through such a sad but similar experience.
What a beautiful post. I only learnt what a rainbow baby is this year and I think it is a lovely description. My sister will be welcoming a rainbow baby soon. This is a lovely uplifting post which looks to the future but never forgets the past #bigpinklink
Ahh how lovely for her, rainbow babies are so special. xx
This is such a lovely post and I’m sure others who have had or are having similar experiences will be glad to read it too.
#BigPinkLink
Thank you so much. xx
I am sure that it is a sign from Joseph and he would be so proud of you and your four beautiful rainbow babies. Its not easy to share such a personal experience with baby loss but I applaud you for doing it. There will be many who will be inspired to come forward too.
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Thank you so much. I hope that he is watching with pride. xxx
Thank you for talking about such an important topic. No one is alone and there is always a new day on the way! #bigpinklink
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You’re so right. There is always hope! xx
Wow, I’ll look forward to your posts xxx #mmbc
Thank you, we managed a whole week of rainbows! xx
A beautiful post Laura. And such a lovely tribute to your beautiful little boy.
I look forward to catching up with your posts on Rainbow week xx
Thank you Jayne, its been a long week but we made it! xx
I have my own rainbow baby and the term is definitely a beautiful one. I am sorry you had to say goodbye but yes, rainbows do come. x
Thank you, and I’m so sorry you had to experience that too. I tell myself that Joseph sent us our rainbows and he is never far away. xx
#eatsleepblogrt #marvmondays I don’t think of Gracie in this manner, but i can see why you would. I also love the idea that your other children can use it to communicate to Joseph. I will send him a wink and a nod next time I see a rainbow, stay blessed
Thank you so much. xxx
I can not even imagine what it must be like to have lost a child, I loved your statement ‘We are very fortunate that, amongst so much sadness, we’ve experienced so much joy’. Great post
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Thank you. I sometimes wonder how we survived it but thank god we did, we have been so blessed with our children. xx
Lovely post. I had never heard of rainbow babies before. Beautiful term.
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Thank you so much. xx
I have heard and used the term Rainbow baby owing to a friends sad story and everytime I see a Rainbow I think of Liam and Josh x
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I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, it’s a lovely term though, it definitely helps us to see rainbows as a positive. xx
Another lovely and poignant post – you’ve done so much this month to help others, this is a lovely way to end these few weeks. x
Mindful Mummy Mission recently posted…Feeling judged? Remember Thoughts are not Facts
Thank you, it really helps me to feel I am giving something back. xx
woow what a post, thanks for explaining the meaning of rainbow baby. Honestly lovely post, x
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Thank you so much for reading. xx
Such a lovely post, my mum lost two babies but shes always says that I ended up having them for her because I have two daughter and with both of my mums losses I few months later I found out I was pregnant.
Ahh that’s a lovely thought, I’m sure that was a comfort to her. xx
I loved the idea of each child being a rainbow. Life is made of storms and rainbows so intricately woven together that we probably can’t have one without the other.
That family picture is beautiful. #mg
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That’s so true. Without the storms we wouldn’t have the rainbows. xx
Reading all the Baby loss posts made me very sad too. But it raised awareness so good. Thanks for sharing this post.
Thank you for reading. xx
Beautiful post. It can be so easy to lose hope when you experience a loss, I’ve personally had five miscarriages and one ectopic. Our first rainbow baby came after one miscarriage and gave us the hope to get through the following ones, but we were very close to giving up hope of ever having a sibling for M when our second rainbow baby arrived. As heartbreaking as our experiences were, we look at our rainbow babies and realise just how lucky we are x
#mg
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Ahh I’m so sorry to hear that. People ask me how we could keep trying when we had lost fifteen to miscarriage and Joseph at full term, but there really was no other option. I needed for Lewis to have a sibling, and I wasn’t ready to give up. Thank god we didn’t! xx
That’s really beautiful, Thankyou so much for sharing and helping others XO #mg
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Ahh thank you for reading xxx
I’d heard the term before but never knew of it’s meaning. Thank you for the definition, sharing your story and tugging at my heart strings. #MMBC.
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Thank you for reading. xxx
You are so blessed to love Joseph and to be his mummy and he is so blessed to be your son, I am so glad you have the four amazing children you do to hold in your arms. I imagine Joseph is so happy to know his mummy is surrounded by all those happy smiles of his beautiful siblings xx #mg
Thank you so much lovely, I really have been so lucky. xxx
That is so nice that you chose to tell your son that his brother sends him smiles from the sky though rainbows. I guess it’s a great gentile way of getting him to pass over the grief a little bit better and believe in something beautiful.
Thank you. Yes it’s a lovely way of us to think of him in a happy, positive light. xx
A really sad and happy story. It’s such a lovely way of putting it for yourself, your family and children and it’s good that you’re looking forward and when you do look back it’s the positives and the joy.
Thank you. It’s so important that we focus on how lucky we have been, despite such sadness. xxx
Beautifully written post and a lovely way of raising awareness xx
Thank you. xx
Must admiration to you and I think this is such a great idea. I love how symbolic the rainbow is to you and your whole family that also inspire others. Beautiful post, beautiful ideas from such a beautiful mother too. Much Love XXX
Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost
Sorry – spelling mistake – Much admiration! 🙂 xx
Thank you Su, rainbows are so special to us and I would love to give hope to others who are struggling to see the light right now. xx
I love this idea and your awareness project 🙂 Love what you do. x
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Thank you so much. xxx
My oldest knows that she is a rainbow baby and that she meded my broken heart and she takes that space in the world very seriously.
#fabfriday
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Aww yes, rainbow babies have a special job to do don’t they? I am so lucky to have four rainbow babies, some never even have one. xx
This is such a beautiful post. I hadn’t realised what the term rainbow meant in this situation, so I will certainly be looking at the differently from now on
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It’s a lovely idea isn’t it? Rainbows are certainly special! xx
What a lovely way to create and share awareness. I was so shocked last week to see some many burning candles on so many bloggers feeds. It is definitely something that is far more common than society leads us to believe so doing something like this is so needed and so worthwhile. Thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily
You’re so right. I think it’s only on these awareness days that you realise just how many it affects, but inbetween these days it’s still so important to raise awareness. xx
A truly beautiful post filled with honesty, pain and joy. You all are survivors and I know I am happy there are rainbows for you, and all who need them. <3
Ahh thank you Lisa. We have been so very lucky. xxx
This is so beautiful – I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t know what the term rainbow meant, though I’ve seen it written often. Your posts always touch me, written so wonderfully as always. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam xx
Bridie By The Sea recently posted…In The Kitchen :: Mushroom Risotto
Aww thank you. Don’t be ashamed, I had no idea until I had mine, it’s such a lovely concept though isn’t it? xx
Beautiful post and such an important topic. I was never aware of what rainbows mean in this situation but I think it’s beautiful now I know xx #PoCoLo
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Ahh thank you. xxx
Visiting you again from #FabFridayPost, such a good post you have written. Great for raising awareness and taking time to sit and think a bit.
Mainy
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Thank you so much, it has been a pleasure to share. xx
I knew the term Rainbow Baby was used but I never understood why. Thank you for explaining. I think it’s wonderful that you have your rainbows, I hope you had a wonderful week lovely. xx
Thanks for linking to #pocolo xx
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Ahh you’re welcome, it’s a lovely term isn’t it? See you tomorrow for #PoCoLo xx