What to do when your child hates school?

With the children in school, Megan in nursery, and Harry engrossed in Cbeebies, I thought that I would grab a moment to catch up on some blogging. And yet sat here at the computer, trying to write a guest blog post, I can’t think of anything else at all but the look on Evas face when I left her at school this morning, when I prised her little hand from mine and handed her over to the teacher. I can still picture the way that her little face crumpled, tears pouring down her cheeks, her beautiful little mouth whispering, “Mama!” and the look in her eyes that begged me, “Please don’t leave me.” I still can’t swallow past the lump in my throat, the dull ache in my stomach, the feeling that, if this is what is right for my child, why does it feel so wrong?

And it’s difficult because, just a few months ago, Eva was a very different little girl, full of confidence and excitement, talkative and cheeky, having the time of her life at nursery. She used to skip down that path three times a week, Megan beside her, and allow me to leave without a second glance goodbye. And although Megan was there with her at nursery, I was assured that they both had their own groups of friends, rarely played together, or even bothered with eachother very much at all, and yet I think for Eva it was the comfort that, if she needed her, Megan was right there. And that’s always been the case with Eva, she very much leans on her little sister for her confidence, always one step behind, waiting on Megan to try something first, egging her on from a hesitant distance, ready to follow in her footsteps. But still, she was happy, secure and self assured, and in that way I felt she was more than ready for school.


On her first day at school she had leapt out of bed, excitedly pulled on her uniform and ran to school with us trailing behind trying to keep up. And yet as soon as we got into the playground and the overwhelming number of children hit her, the unfamiliar surroundings and the strange faces, I saw the way that her demeanour changed, the way that she instantly clung to my hand, her lip quivering, and told me, in no uncertain terms, “I want to go home!”. That first day was hard for her absolutely but, for me, seeing her so distressed, having to physically wrestle her arms from around my leg, and push her through the door, that was hard for me too.


Every night for the first six weeks we had hysterics at bedtime, pleading and begging with me to phone her teacher, “Tell her I hate school!” she sobbed, her arms around my neck, her tears pooling into my hair, “Tell her I won’t be coming ever again!” she pleaded. And I would hold her and soothe her and tell her all of the reasons why she had to go to school, how it was so much fun, how there is so much to learn, and eventually she would fall asleep, her eyes red and swollen, her little body emotionally drained. And every morning she would wake and cry when she saw her uniform laid out waiting, sob as I forced her little feet into her shoes, the black, shiny ones that she had been so excited for over the summer, and wailed as I dragged her down the street and into the playground, where she would start all over again, “But I don’t want to go to school!”.


When I ask her why she hates school her answer changes by the day. It ranges from it’s boring to I’m tired, to a whole host of reasons such as the boys are too silly, the teacher says the same thing over and over again, we always have to tidy up, I miss you, I want to go to nursery with Megan, I don’t like school dinners. And although the school and her teacher have been lovely and reassuring, and done everything possible to help her settle, their attempts, and mine, never seem to get us anywhere. And when I pick her up from school each day and they tell me, “She was absolutely fine!” I can’t help but wonder, fine for who? Because just because she isn’t crying all day doesn’t mean that she isn’t feeling sad, does it?

As half term approached I was literally counting down the days  hours, just limping along, completely drained, focusing on the fact that we had two weeks to look forward to, a lovely family holiday, and so much fun to be had. And on the first day of half term, when Eva woke and realised that she didn’t have to go to school, she was a different child again. She was the Eva I used to know, full of smiles and laughter, silly and carefree, a spring in her step and the sound of excited chatter over breakfast. And as lovely as that was, it was also heartbreaking to realise just how much school has changed her.


Yesterday when we went back to school, I waited with baited breath in the hope that we had turned a corner, but as she sobbed putting on her school shoes and clung to my hand on the walk there, hiccupping loudly beside me, tears streaming down her cheeks, I felt like crying too. As I handed her over to the teacher with an apologetic smile, waved her goodbye as she looked at me accusingly, I knew exactly what she was thinking, Why are you leaving me? And so when I came home to find that she had left me a picture, ‘Mummy and Eva’, holding hands, big smiles on our faces, it just about broke my heart.


Because I think that is just about the crux of it, that, regardless of the many, many excuses she comes up with each day, it’s all about wanting to stay at home with me. And in that way I blame myself.

Eva never went to nursery until she was three, and even then for just five short hours each week. In her pre-school year she did fifteen hours yet, with me being at home and no need for extra child care, the rest of the time she was with me, Megan and Harry. And where as Megan and Harry often gravitate towards their Daddy, Eva is very much her Mummy’s girl. And maybe we had too much fun together, perhaps that’s half of the problem? We undoubtedly had an amazing four years together, going from play groups to parks, days out, days in, baking and dress up, games and crafts, each day filled with a new adventure, with cuddles and kisses and so much love.


Or perhaps the problem lies with the fact that Eva depends so much on her sister, something which I also question myself on. Perhaps I should have encouraged her to be her own person more, separated them where possible, instilled more confidence in them as individuals rather than as “Eva and Meggy”. Perhaps I shouldn’t have dressed them the same, my little twins-not-twins, styled their hair differently, made them far more aware of those fifteen months that separated them. Perhaps I should have realised that Eva would struggle without Megan, that although she was the eldest of the two, she needed Megan far more than Megan needed her. Perhaps I should have done everything differently, or perhaps nothing at all, and although the rational part of me knows that I did everything I could, it’s so hard to see my daughter struggle and feel completely helpless how to make her happy.


A lovely friend said something the other day, when I told her how Eva was struggling with school, she said, “Think of it as a positive that you made her time at home so special that she doesn’t want to go to school. Think of it as a wonderful thing that she loves you so much that she would rather be with you than anyone else. In that way, you should be proud of yourself.”

And maybe she is right, along with all of the advice I have kindly received over the last few weeks. I know that she will settle eventually, I know that it won’t last forever, but right now, today, it’s hard to see her so very sad, to see her personality change and wonder where did my happy little girl go?


And yet sat here now, eating my second bar of chocolate, knowing that in five short hours I will pick her up and she will greet me with a smile, I have to remember that this too shall pass.

Did your child struggle with settling in at school? Any advice would be greately appreciated!

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  1. November 9, 2016 / 12:28 pm

    Oh I do feel for you. T was the same and like Eva, I didn’t send her to nursery/play-school regularly either. That’s because she hated it! So when T started school, it was exactly like this. Tears that can break any person’s heart. It was just awful. But know that this will end. It’s a long journey, yes. But it will end. T at Year 2 is nothing like the girl she was in reception 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 1:39 pm

      That’s so reassuring to know, year 2 just feels a long way away right now. Eva LOVED nursery, that’s half of my concern really, she wasn’t like this last year at all and was so out going and confident. The fact is she HAS to go to school and even if we have to endure this for the next seven years, that’s how it has to be. I hope she’s not still crying by year 6 though!! xx

  2. Lisa
    November 9, 2016 / 12:31 pm

    This just about breaks my heart, I can only imagine how awful you feel. It is our duty as mummy’s to make our little ones feel safe and happy and yet every day you’re having to do what is fundamentally the opposite of that.
    It will pass I’m sure and she will start to love it. Does she have any little friends you could walk to school with and she could go in with so it wouldn’t feel so lonely for her and you?
    My little girl is still at nursery and won’t start school until next year. I’m already dreading it as although she likes nursery she doesn’t love it.
    Fingers crossed it all changes soon and you’ll forget about these awful days.

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 1:38 pm

      Thank you. That’s exactly it, it goes against everything I feel as a Mummy to leave her there crying. She has lots of friends in the class, they all went together from nursery, but she isn’t at all interested in standing with them in the line and will cry and scream if they try to take her hand. I’m assured that in school she does play with the other children and when I saw her at the Halloween disco last month I saw for myself how happy she was with them, it’s just those morning drop offs and her sad little face that break my heart! Good luck when your daughter starts, sometimes the ones you expect to be upset go straight in without a care in the world! xx

  3. November 9, 2016 / 1:02 pm

    My heart breaks for you both. My daughter really enjoys school and just occasionally wants to stay home for the day. So tough! I guess I would stick it out and know next year the girls will be at school tomorrow. Best wishes!

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 1:35 pm

      Thank you, I keep telling myself that, if all else fails we only have another eight months to get through! I loved school as a child and I worry she is missing out on so much by not wanting to take part. xx

  4. November 9, 2016 / 1:07 pm

    This really resonates with me Laura, my eldest is struggling too and it’s utterly heartbreaking and against everything in me to walk away from her in the morning as she cries and is removed from my leg by the teacher. I have been at home with her for 4 years too and love the angle your friend has put on it. It must be so hard for them with siblings at home. Someone has said to me that everything changes after Christmas and I hope they are right. Big hugs and thank you for sharing your experience x

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 1:32 pm

      Ahh I’m sorry you’re going through this but I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Everyone keeps telling me the same, after Christmas she’ll be completely different but I keep thinking surely she’ll be WORSE after two weeks at home with all of her new toys?! She often says she feels left out that I do things with Harry and Megan in the day so there is an element of jealousy there too, it’s really difficult for all of us when she is so upset. The teacher assures me she is fine in school but you never know do you? Fine compared to what? Not crying doesn’t mean she isn’t sad. Huge to you lovely lady. xxx

  5. Sue
    November 9, 2016 / 1:16 pm

    Awww it will pass. Such a tough time and at the moment believe it or not I’m going through it with my eldest daughter who is at uni. So so hard xxxx

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 1:30 pm

      Thank you. And I’m sorry you are going through the same with your daughter. I was exactly the same when I went off to uni, I just wanted to go home to my Mum, it was so difficult. Change is hard on all of us isn’t it? But you’re right, it will pass, for you too. xxx

  6. November 9, 2016 / 2:52 pm

    I’ve told you before how heartbroken and sorry I am for you and your beautiful girl to be struggling so much with this transition, and I still don’t have any advice for you. But I will say this: whenever you feel awful about leaving her, whenever you berate yourself for that betrayal, remember what that friend said to you. Because she was right. So much love to you all.

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 6:27 pm

      Thank you so much. Sometimes it just helps to write it all down and realise that I’m doing the very best I can for her. I hope that one day soon she realises that when I said that school was fun, I meant it!! Xx

  7. November 9, 2016 / 3:23 pm

    I can feel this creeping up on us. My little one was full of beans when she started nursery school and now it’s like the reality of having to do this every day apart from weekends and holidays is sinking in and they just do not like it! And who can blame them? No advice to offer though I’m afraid…just hugs? Xx

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 6:26 pm

      Thanks lovely. That’s what Eva says every day, “School?? AGAIN??”, it’s so hard to explain to them that there really is no choice and not just now but for another twelve years! God help us!! Xx

  8. November 9, 2016 / 4:23 pm

    I feel your pain. My daughter hated school when she was in the infants, it broke my heart to leave her. I don’t think I can offer you any more advice than what you are doing. We had little treats when I picked her up, ice creams, cake etc or trip to the park before tea, in fact anything that would erase the fears my daughter had. You will be pleased to know they do come out the otherside (although it still isn’t Grace’s favourite place) xx

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 6:24 pm

      Thank you. I’ve been trying to do those things and initially them seem to work but then she cottons on and it’s back to square one! It’s good to hear that it does get better, thank you. Xx

  9. November 9, 2016 / 4:31 pm

    my youngest is having a few problems at school since starting year 1. I just hope things settle down with him soon, as I hate having to see the teacher at the end of everyday

    • Laura Dove
      November 9, 2016 / 6:23 pm

      It’s so hard isn’t it? I loved school, as did my eldest, so this is very new to us! Xx

  10. Jules
    November 9, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    Maybe you could try bigging up each half term holiday being “only x amount of sleeps away and then we can do xyz”?? Or let her have a half day here and there? I really feel for you, it must break your heart every day. I really hope she starts to love it soon, there’s so much pressure on little ones these days xxx

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:12 pm

      We just seem to be living each week for the weekend, which isn’t how I want to be, just wishing away the days, but it’s hard when she hates it so much. I’m hoping Christmas comes around fast! xx

  11. Lisa
    November 10, 2016 / 12:00 am

    I also have to say when i moved to secondary school I absolutely hated. I clearly remember sitting on my settee at home and crying my eyes out (I was not a crier at all) and saying how much I hated it and wanted to go back to my old school (my parents moved me to an all girls school a year early at 10). I loathed it for a little while but it soon changed and now I regard it as one of the best times of my life. I grew to love it.
    Slightly different to your little one as I was older but still my parents stuck at it (it broke their hearts and my dad still talks about it to this day as it was so rare to see me sobbing) and things worked out. They usually do however hard the short term pain is! Good luck again x

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:10 pm

      Aww that must have been so hard!! People keep saying to me take her out, defer her for a year, change schools, but it’s not that she isn’t enjoying it while she is there, she just hates that she has to go. I know that when she settles she will LOVE it, school was the best time of my life, but right now she cant see that at all! xx

  12. November 10, 2016 / 5:46 am

    I agree, it is hard to see them sad. You have just brought back memories of leaving my second child at nursery. He hated it. He would kick the door and the teachers would send me off home, I use to cry leaving him. Gosh that was 17 years ago now 🙂 She will forget all about this soon and enjoy it, I think sometimes it just takes time 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:09 pm

      Oh gosh it’s hard isn’t it, the first day Eva was kicking and screaming, literally, now she just clings to me for dear life!! I walk home in tears some days, others I just feel fed up that it isn’t getting any easier! I’m glad that it gets easier, thank you. xx

  13. November 10, 2016 / 8:04 am

    What a heartbreaking situation! The important thing is that it will pass, no matter how hard it feels at the moment. Shes she such a cutie, love the first day photo. #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:07 pm

      Thank you, I just hope it passes sooner rather than later! xx

  14. November 10, 2016 / 8:52 am

    i read this last nigh and saved because I wanted to comment. I really feel for you because this is EXACTLY how I was at primary school until I went to secondary school. the teachers used to have to prise my fingers off my mum and dad and every morning id sit in my room sobbing. im not saying all this to alarm you but I wanted to share the reason why I felt like this and why I wouldn’t tell anyone. I was afraid of being sick. that was it. but I thought it ridiculous and silly and was so afraid to actually say. the fear was so bad that it made eating lunch a problem – the dinner ladies used to make us eat or we couldn’t go out to play. and if people vomited in school, it terrified me. I still have this stupid fear now in my 30s (emetophobia). im not suggesting your girl has this but just wanted to share my experience 🙂 I really hope she settles soon and enjoys her school days 🙂 xx

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:07 pm

      Oh gosh Emma that sounds awful!! Although Eva doesn’t have a fear of being sick (she isn’t phased by it one bit!), she could well have a reason of her own that she hasn’t shared with us for fear of it seeming silly. I’ve been spending a lot of time with her one on one, casually asking why she doesn’t like it or is there anything inparticular that upsets her (apparently the boys calling her poo poo Eva is her main reason right now!) but it swaps and changes each day. Thank you for sharing this with me though, it’s really made me think that there could be more to it, or not, but either way I will carry on speaking to her and hope she opens up. xx

  15. November 10, 2016 / 9:36 am

    I don’t think we can ever know how they will react until they actually do. Just keep moving forward, you will look back on this and it will be a blip on the radar. xx #coolmumclub

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:04 pm

      Thank you, one day!! xx

  16. November 10, 2016 / 10:03 am

    This is so sad! You are being to hard on yourself though and I agree with your friend. You obviously made your time together so special for her and you should never regret or feel guilty about that. Her bond with her sister is equally as special and you should feel proud that your two girls know they have each other as well as their parents. I’m sure she will settle because children do. Soon she will have her own little group of friends and she won’t want her little sister cramping her style. It is simply hard and daunting. It is such a change to the normal for them and you! I hope she starts to enjoy school soon and you don’t feel guilty for much longer.

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:04 pm

      Thank you, I think we are all guilty of blaming ourselves sometimes, especially as parents when you have no idea what to do! Logically I know that I did everything I could and had I put her in full time child care I would be beating myself up for that too! I just hope that she settles soon, it would really take the pressure off! xx

  17. Fi Ni Neachtain
    November 10, 2016 / 11:33 am

    I’m so sorry she hates school, it must be so heartbreaking for her and you. That picture she drew was so sweet. I hope she starts to enjoy it soon and that it get easier on you both. I’m debating on whether to send my son next year but I think we may have to hold off until he’s five and a half due to some issues we had a long the way.

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:02 pm

      Thank you. I’ve spoken to lots of people who have deferred school entry until the following year and had I known how hard it would be, I would seriously have considered it. She just seemed so ready for school and so excited for it to, we really didn’t think that she would have any issues! xx

  18. November 10, 2016 / 11:33 am

    I’m so sorry that she’s having such a hard time adjusting. I found the first half term of reception a really difficult time and it does get easier I promise. Maybe if the school would let her in a bit earlier into the office so she’s not overwhelmed by other children it may help?

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:01 pm

      Thank you, I’m so glad that it does get easier, it’s awful when they are so upset. I think that would help her, she hates the point where they have to line up and all of the people. Might be worth me asking, thank you. xx

  19. November 10, 2016 / 12:18 pm

    I totally agree with what your friend told you, but I would also check at school, in case she is suffering for bullying (I really hope she’s not!) or try to find the real reason why she doesn’t want to go to school. I wish you all the best xx

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 6:00 pm

      Thank you. I think she just wants to be at home with us, I honestly think that’s the main reason. She’s very tired as she isn’t used to full days in school and that makes her more emotional. I think I forget she is still just a baby in so many ways, she really just wants her Mama which is so hard! xx

  20. Michelle
    November 10, 2016 / 12:47 pm

    I feel your pain! My youngest son was in preschool all day five days a week while I was putting myself through college so when he started elementary school and cried every single morning because he didn’t want to go and would say things like “I hate school! I hate my life!” That really broke my heart. I was at a loss as what to do but I kept in constant communication with the school and they helped a lot. Of course, his behavior had showed his contempt during the school day so the teachers knew what I was going through because they were dealing with it too.It sounds like your daughter is doing well in school and behaving so maybe the teachers aren’t really able to understand what you go through. Popping over from #ablogginggoodtime

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 5:58 pm

      Yes you’re right, she is behaving well in school and then she gets home and she is SO angry at me for leaving her there that her behaviour is terrible! She is very clingy, following me from one room to the next, cries constantly and can’t sleep at night with worrying about the next day. It’s such a worry, and the guilt is just awful isn’t it? I hope it got easier for you? xx

  21. November 10, 2016 / 2:00 pm

    I believe that sometimes some children just aren’t ready for school at 4 years old. Quite often it seems to be boys, but the age we start children’s schooling in this country, can affect girls too. Yes, it will pass, but it must be so incredibly stressful at the moment. There is nothing worse than watching your child go into school upset. Although I can’t offer advice, I can sympathise hugely. Alison x #coolmumclub

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 5:56 pm

      Thank you so much. I think you’re right, four is so young isn’t it? Some of the children in her class are already turned five and she is six months behind, I wish they didn’t start them so soon. xx

  22. November 10, 2016 / 2:42 pm

    Oh gosh, this broke my heart! As hard as it may be, you cannot blame yourself – children have been going straight from full-time-at-home to full-time-at-school for decades.

    I really feel for you. For you both. It will pass. But that doesn’t make it any easier in the here and now. Christmastime at school can be really magical – parties, discos, shows, crafts. Maybe that will draw her in? I really hope she settles soon #BrillBlogPosts

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 5:56 pm

      I hope so Lucy. I tried to tell her how exciting it was with Christmas and the parties and the nativity and now she is crying constantly with the worry of having to stand on a stage!! I’ve had to promise her that she doesn’t have to be in it, which I’m devastated about as the first nativity is so special! Waaaaah!! xx

  23. November 10, 2016 / 4:32 pm

    Your other post about your daughter struggling to settle stuck in my mind and I can feel your unrest and emotions racing through this post too and I understand them completely. My little man has never really liked school.
    One thing as a mum and a teacher do you make it explicit when you will collect her and where you will be waiting? I know some children who have struggled because they didn’t know when mum was coming back.
    Would it be possible to bring her in after everyone has arrived on collect her a little earlier to avoid the crowds – if that is a factor? A chart for the different parts of the school day where she can show how she’s feeling maybe then you may see a pattern – particular points in the day that she is struggling with.
    Lots of luck and sending virtual hugs too. I think your lovely friend was right too.
    Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 5:55 pm

      Great ideas Catie. She is dropped off at the same time each day, at the same door, and collected from the very same one. I am always there early waiting just for that reason, I don’t want her worrying where I am or if I am coming back. I think taking her in a little later then everyone else would help as she really hates lining up each morning and that’s the thing that then sets her off. So many people and children and noise!! I hope that she improves over the coming weeks, it really is emotionally exhausting! xx

  24. November 10, 2016 / 5:49 pm

    Oh gosh I want to hug her… my nephew hated school, he would cry, stamp feet say he hated his life and then one day, he absolutely loved it and wanted to stay for the night. My sister arranged play dates for him and he made some friends and they are still thick as thieves 5 years on x

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 5:53 pm

      Oh I hope the same happens with Eva. She has lots of friends there who she knew from nursery so I have no idea why she hates it so much! xx

  25. November 10, 2016 / 7:40 pm

    Popping back over from #coolmumclub thanks for linking lovely x

  26. November 10, 2016 / 8:14 pm

    Your kids are a credit to you Laura – and your friend was spot on xx
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub – I really hope we get to have a catch up on Saturday – I’ll be looking out for you xx

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 9:52 pm

      Thank you. I’m looking forward to seeing you! Two more sleeps! xx

  27. November 10, 2016 / 8:52 pm

    Oh Laura, I can relate to this so much and my son hasn’t even started school yet. He is exactly the same way with nursery though…he cries all night, constantly asks “Do I have to go tomorrow mummy?”, cries all the way there – and they do what they can to help, they assure me hes fine when he’s there but I wonder the same thing. And I hate that feeling of forcing him to go somewhere when I know he doesnt want to.
    I had real issues at school myself and I remember that feeling of “WHY are you leaving me when you know that I hate this” that I had towards my own mum…and I dread him feeling that way too, and it all affecting him the way it did me…

    Like you, I only started him at nursery at 3…and he doesn’t even do the full 15 hours, only 10. And I feel like that was my first mistake…I am determined to send his little brothers from younger in the hope that it will help.

    I don’t know what the answers are, I keep telling myself that if it continues to be this bad after a year of school then I’ll consider home schooling…people tell me thats a mistake but I know first hand the effect that my school experiences have had on the rest of my life and I’m so scared to inflict that on him… but I hope it won’t come to that and some miracle will happen, and he’ll end up enjoying it.

    I hope Eve does too.

  28. November 10, 2016 / 8:57 pm

    Awww, this is heartbreaking because this could have been Oldest when she started school. However, three years later and she is very different. She adores school, now stays to play netball afterschool as well. She still has an odd moment but on the whole she is loving school. It will get easier. In the meantime carry on what you are doing, just her knowing that you are listening and helping will help her. Big hugs. #Stayclassymama

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 9:52 pm

      Oh I hope that Eva is the same then, it’s really difficult isn’t it? I feel like picking her up and taking her back home some days, I hate leaving her while she is looking at me like that. She’s cried until almost 10pm again tonight, it’s just exhausting for everyone! One day we’ll get there…! xx

  29. November 10, 2016 / 9:11 pm

    I can only imagine how much it must break your heart to see her so upset to leave you each day, and I understand that as parents we always question ourselves, but I honestly don’t think it’s anything that we control. I think that each of our little ones are wired in their own way and they will also each develop and have different needs at different times. You are such an amazing mum and you really should be proud that you have given her such a wonderful 4 years at home with you. Nothing can ever take that away from her and she is very lucky to have such a lovely family to come home to each evening and weekend. As you say – this too shall pass, but I hope it eases for you soon as she settles back into her new routine. *hugs* xx #monsterslink

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 9:51 pm

      Thanks lovely, it’s hard work being a mummy isn’t it? I think I always suspected she would be like this, she often feels over whelmed at birthday parties or social occasions, but I never thought it would last this long! She’s just gone to sleep now after crying hysterically about not wanting to go to school tomorrow. One step forward, two steps back. We’ll get there…. xx

    • Laura Dove
      November 10, 2016 / 9:49 pm

      Oh me too, thank you though. xx

  30. November 10, 2016 / 10:08 pm

    First- they are too cute to be sad. I kind of want to buy those sweet faces a pony right now. Second- my heart aches for anyone who has had to go through this. I personally have not but I have had friends endure this phase and it was wretched.


    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:42 pm

      Aww thank you, your comment really made me smile. Any day now she’ll turn a corner, fingers crossed hey? xxx

  31. November 11, 2016 / 12:11 am

    I’m sorry she’s going through such a tough transition to school, hopefully it gets easier soon #momsterslink

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:41 pm

      Thank you Heather, I do hope so! xx

  32. November 11, 2016 / 6:16 am

    Hi Laura, your post is quite heartbreaking to read. Not only because of little Eva struggling with school, but also because you are beating yourself up so badly. I know it’s what us Mums do, we look at how we could have done things differently. But my advice would be to listen to the wise words of your friend. If you could go back in time, would you do anything any differently (I hope not)?

    You sound like a fantastic Mum, and those first four years of little Eva’s life were fun filled and special. There are plenty of ‘parenting’ handbooks out there, but the reality is there aren’t any that are Taylor made, we have to trust our instincts and do what we know is best. I hope you know how wonderful you are as a Mum, and you do know that this hard time will pass in time.

    Big hugs and thank you for linking up.


    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:41 pm

      Thank you so much Debbie, this was exactly what I needed to hear right now. You’re right, I wouldn’t have changed any of it, and had I put her in pre-school for more hours each week I would be sitting here regretting that too. Thank you so much, really appreciate your lovely comment. xxx

  33. November 11, 2016 / 10:05 am

    We aren’t at that stage yet, but I have seen it countless times.

    When I was growing up my mum ran a daycare. Every day there was a kid that cried when they were dropped off, and more often than not they would cry when it was time to go home as well, suddenly not wanting to go home.

    This happened less and less as they got older, but changing environments is a challenge for kids. I’m sure she will come to embrace it soon! Good luck!

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:39 pm

      Thank you, that’s really interesting. I think I’ve struggled because every other child in the class seems to run in with a big smile on their face, there’s only really Eva who doesn’t like it!! It will come though, I’m sure there will come a point where she is enjoying it so much she cries because she doesn’t want to leave. Fingers crossed anyway! xx

  34. November 11, 2016 / 10:16 am

    I am so sorry, I don’t know what to say, poor little Eva! I just hope it gets better quickly. And if it doesn’t, it might get better when Megan starts next year? They are such a credit to you, and it is so beautiful how they love each other so so much. That is how I want my children’s relationship to be (they are 15 months apart too). #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:38 pm

      Thank you so much. I was so worried about the small age gap (not AT ALL planned that way!) but it’s so lovely how close they are, just difficult at times like this when they are so used to having eachother to rely on. Only another 10 months to go…agghhh!! xx

  35. November 11, 2016 / 12:22 pm

    Ah Hun I feel so bad and sad for Eva but so hard to know what to do. my little one will be going in September and I’m hoping she will enjoy as much as nursery. Obviously Eva has to go to school but perhaps it will just get easier with time as she realises she needs to go. I really hope it does. Hugs xx #thatfridaylinky

  36. November 11, 2016 / 12:39 pm

    Wow I do feel for you. I can’t imagine how you feel leaving her like that. My daughter is only 7 months old but is often only happy with me. It breaks my heart when she is crying because she just wants to be with me. I hope things improve for you soon #stayclassymama

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:37 pm

      Thank you Lucy. It’s awful isn’t it, as parents we just want to comfort our children when they cry, not peel them off us and hand them over to someone else for the day. She seems so angry that I have sent her to school each day and super clingy which is hard, she’s also VERY stubborn so none of these things make for a happy girl right now! xx

  37. November 11, 2016 / 2:27 pm

    Oh, that must be so hard for you. I went through something similar with my daughter, but with nursery, not school. She absolutely hated it and cried hysterically when I dropped her off each day, which made me wonder whether I was doing the right thing. She’s accepted it now, I think, but it’s still not her favourite place, and I feel bad knowing I have to work and can’t stay with her. I think it’s just harder for some children than others – your girl will settle into school in her own time. #stayclassymama

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:32 pm

      Thank you, you’re right but as parents we always feel guilty don’t we? I’m sure it will get easier, some children just prefer being at home. I’m a bit like that now!! Thank you for the reassurance. xx

  38. November 11, 2016 / 3:00 pm

    This is such an awful situation for you both. I was there with my twin a few years ago, to the point one would get so upset he’d vomit, it was horrendous.
    Our problem turned out be a horrid child who was bullying them, once we found who and what he was doing the change was amazing. I’m not saying that is what’s going on here, but it might be worth exploring.
    I do hope Eva is able to look forward to school soon, these early years are so much fun for them, perhaps some playdates with a few friends will help strengthen friendships, wish I had more advice, stay strong mama

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:26 pm

      Oh gosh that sounds awful for you!! Bullying can be devastating for children, and parents, although I am reassured there is nothing like that with Eva. I honestly think it’s just a case of wanting to be with me, she is a real Mamas girl and as lovely as that is, it can also cause issues! Fingers crossed it resolves soon…!! xx

  39. November 11, 2016 / 4:23 pm

    I have mentioned before we had a similar situation last year when Meme started reception, there were no tears but she was so unhappy. It broke my heart. I was not at all expecting it. She was just so sad, we all were.

    It did get better but it took time, I would say until the summer! I was dreaming her going back into year one but I can honestly say she is like a different child. It is so much better thankfully.

    You will all get there lovely I promise #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:24 pm

      Oh gosh that’s a long way away right now, but I honestly see it improving any time soon so it might be that is the case for her too! Megan will start in September so at least that will help. It’s awful seeing their personalities change like that, I feel so sad for her! xx

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:21 pm

      Thank you, I hope so! xx

  40. November 11, 2016 / 6:34 pm

    Oh darling 🙁 This made me well up, I don’t know what to say as I think we have been so lucky that Alfie has settled in much better than I expected but if he hadn’t I would have felt exactly how you are. I think that what your friend has said is spot on I’,m keeping my fingers tightly crossed that she starts to be a bit happier. Beautiful post, popping over from #PoCoLo

    • Laura Dove
      November 11, 2016 / 7:20 pm

      Thank you Helen. My eldest LOVED school, he still does (even if it’s not cool to admit it!) so this was really new to us! I’m hoping it just takes time, but after listening to her cry for the last two hours I feel mentally drained!! Thank God for the weekend!! xxx

  41. November 11, 2016 / 8:34 pm

    It’s so heartbreaking when they don’t want to go and leave you. I didn’t have this from my boys in school (although I’ve got one to go still), but I had it in nursery. What helped in the end was that after about 3 months of him hiding under the table and starting crying 2 hours before (and me having to drag him there), the nursery key worker came for 3 short home visits, and he was happy since! I know a school might not be able to offer that, but I wonder if they can try and do something? The fact that she starts ‘stressing’ about it the night before can’t be right! Maybe she does miss you or her sister, and that can’t be changed, but maybe they can try and help a bit more? And I know as mums we feel guilty about everything, but you can’t ever second guess having dedicated your time to your child! Good luck with everything! X

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 12:16 pm

      Thanks Sara, she literally comes home from school and cries and then cries most bedtimes until the next morning when she cries again because she doesn’t want to go. I feel I have to be quite firm or it will just fuel her more, but it’s very hard when all I want to do is hold her tight and tell her it’s okay. I hope that we see an improvement soon, it’s emotionally draining! xx

  42. November 11, 2016 / 9:14 pm

    This is so heartbreaking! I know exactly how you feel, my son was the same. The tears and tantrums every single morning were so hard to cope with, I felt like the worst mother ever. He’s in year 3 now and although he will still say he hates school if you ask him, he goes in happily on his own now, eager to meet up with his friends. I can’t say things will get better overnight (although they might), but we found that by the time he got to year 1 the tears were only occasional and had stopped altogether by year 2. I really hope it doesn’t take Eva this long but if it does, just know that there is absolutely nothing you could have done differently. All you can do is listen to her fears and upsets and offer a shoulder to cry on. Maybe once Megan starts school next year she will feel more settled x

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 12:14 pm

      Thank you. It’s so reassuring that your son did improve and that Eva isn’t the only one who ever felt this way. I’m sure once Megan starts next year it will be very different but it’s a long way away when she is so upset about things right now. Her behaviour at home has really deteriorated as she seems almost angry that we are sending her to school? I miss my happy little girl but we see glimpses of her at the weekends. xx

  43. November 11, 2016 / 9:29 pm

    Amelia is 19 months and I’ve been thinking about her going to school loads. I never theought that maybe she wouldn’t like it until I read your post and I have to admit now I’m panicking and it actually made me cry a bit! I know that I would be breaking down with her if she started to get upset – which would obviously make things ten times worse.d
    I definitely think I’m very reliant and clingy on her and hate it when she’s away from me – Max too – it’s like I can’t catch my breath properly until they’re back!
    She really is a mummy’s girl too and rarely wants anyone else other than her nan. My main hope is that she will stay the strong willed, outgoing girl she is now and will really love it 🙂 #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 12:11 pm

      That’s just like Eva. She was our first rainbow baby and so long awaited that we really did keep her close and she is very clingy with me, as I am her. It’s very difficult to let her go each morning and I too want to breakdown and cry but have to be strong or she will get worse! I come home some mornings and cry, I hate to think of her in school just wanting her Mama. xx

  44. November 11, 2016 / 10:21 pm

    My heart breaks for you both reading this. It was bad enough when I had problems with Ethan at nursery over summer – you may have read that post – so I know how hard it is to leave them when they’re so upset. But school is such a big deal. It’s a long day for little people and such a change for them. I believe your friend is right. Don’t feel bad for the wonderful few years you’ve had together, that is so precious! It will pass – hard to believe now I’m sure. This parenting lark is hard – and I’ve got all this to look forward to next year!!! #pocolo

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 12:08 pm

      Thank you, it’s really difficult isn’t it? I hope that Ethan settles into school instantly, it’s just exhausting when they hate going. Harry started nursery today and LOVED it, thank god one of them is having fun! xx

  45. November 11, 2016 / 11:20 pm

    Certainly heartbreaking to read, and it much feel terrible for you. All we want as parents are for our kids to be happy.

    We didn’t have any issues with settling, but it may be worth checking out what Mary at Over 40 mum to one’s son’s teacher did to help. Things like taking him in separately before/giving him jobs to help her etc. Year 1 was his turning point, and year 2 he’s flying.

    Do come and link up any school posts with my #schooldays linky which opens every Sunday

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 12:07 pm

      Thanks Emma, those are great suggestions, I will definitely check it out. And I keep meaning to link up but forget each week, I will be with you this sunday! Do you have a reminder on twitter? My handle is @fivelittledove5 if you could give me a nudge? Thank you! xx

  46. November 12, 2016 / 2:33 am

    Ah jeez, this is so sad! Bless her and it must be heart wrenching for you. I guess you have to look at the end game – that school is good for her and in time she will reap the benefits. Maybe you could have a special treat/time for just her and you together – something she could look forward to? I hope it gets better soon #stayclassymama

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 12:06 pm

      Thanks Sarah, that’s the thought that keeps me going. I know in the long run this is the best thing for her, and she is already learning so much. It’s funny because she comes home and all she wants to do is write and read and draw, but in school she is so stubborn she doesn’t want to do any of it!! I love the special time idea, we have been trying to do that but with four children it is difficult. I will make the time this weekend, even if just for an hour to take her for a milkshake or a hot chocolate at our local café, just something we can share together. Thank you. xx

  47. November 12, 2016 / 5:01 am

    My son had been going to the same school, for 2 years, with the same teacher (Montessori) – it was only in the third year that he started to tell us that he didn’t want to go. We thought it was phase. Whenever we asked why, he gave us different reasons. Finally, after 3 months of him telling us EVERY DAY that he didn’t want to go, we moved him to a different school. He’s been happy ever since. Part of the issue was that they were not taking him outside enough. We moved him to an OUTDOOR school, and he loves it!

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 12:05 pm

      Ahh I’m so glad he settled in a new school! We LOVE the school, and the teachers are nothing but lovely, I think Eva would have this issue at any school as the problem is simply that she wants to be at home. It’s very difficult isn’t it? xx

  48. November 12, 2016 / 2:34 pm

    Oh bless her! Does she have a clock in her class? Maybe telling her when the clock looks like the end of school time it means she gets to see you again?
    #momsterslink #stayclassymama

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 12:00 pm

      Oh that’s a good idea! She can’t tell the time yet but is a fast learner, will work on that – thank you! xx

  49. November 12, 2016 / 7:31 pm

    Isaac really struggled despite lots of encouragement from us and his teachers. The pastoral teacher has been amazing and takes him for a biscuit break a couple of times a day which has made all the difference to him

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 11:57 am

      Ahh a biscuit break sounds fab, although I’m sorry he is struggling too. I wish I could have biscuit breaks to get me through the day! xx

  50. November 12, 2016 / 10:32 pm

    Awww hugs to you mommy. I was lucky enough never to have to experience any of mine crying when I dropped them off at preschool. I started my two older ones when they were 3 and 4, keeping my 2 year old at home with me and then the following year my son went to kindergarten while the two girls went to pre-school but different classes. My son was so excited about his first day of kindergarten and didn’t even think twice about kissing his mommy good bye and running for the playground to discover all the new friends he was going to make. His younger sister followed in his footsteps this year and my youngest goes to the pre-school by herself which I thought for certain would be an issue but as soon as she saw her friends that had returned as well…off she went. That pic she drew for you brought tears to my own eyes so I can only imagine the ones it brought to yours. Last year my son would hug and kiss me everyday before he would get out of the truck but now this year him and his sister are like “bye mom love you” no hugs, no more kisses and out the truck they go. But the little one still gives me hugs and kisses when dropping her off at preschool so I guess I will enjoy it while it lasts. The one thing I do notice is that my daughter who is in kindergarten this year draws me pictures everyday and writes mommy on all her papers. So maybe in her own way that’s her way of telling me she misses me. Enjoy the love for soon they will be teenagers and think we are weirdos. ((Hugs)). Thank you for linking up with #momsterslink :))

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 11:56 am

      They are all so different aren’t they?? Harry started nursery today (only 5 hours a week!) and didn’t even notice I had gone!! Not at all bothered in the slightest, which was lovely but I was quite emotional. It’s lovely when they draw these pictures and let us know they love and miss us, just heartbreaking too. Waaah! Thanks for hosting. xxx

  51. November 12, 2016 / 10:59 pm

    I won’t be sending my children to school. I have had a lot of disapproving comments from family member but ultimately it is my choice. I plan on homeschooling which should be fun and I say that I can’t wait but we have already really started.. My sons are 3 and 1 and I graduate in July so heres to some good times! #fabfridaypost

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 11:43 am

      Good for you. You know what is best for your children and I love that you are confident in that decision. I couldn’t home school, I seriously don’t have it in me, but I truly admire those who do! xx

  52. November 13, 2016 / 11:30 am

    Oh gosh you must be so stressed out every day! We’ve never had this but I have a friend who’s little girl screams every morning and she’s also lost for what to do. Can she mix with some school friends out of school too do that maybe she looks forward to going to school to see them? #stayclassymama

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 11:41 am

      It’s so stressful, especially as I have a 2 and 3 year old on the school run too who are all going crazy and then Eva screaming and crying! She has some great friends who she loves, she just hates school, whether they are there or not! xx

  53. November 13, 2016 / 6:34 pm

    Aww… bless Eva. I can relate to this. My boy when he started nursery, he was exactly the same as Eva but when I pick him up, he didn’t want to leave! I know as a parent we blame ourselves for everything and it is so hard when we think you should have done things differently in the past, but like your friend have said – this only means that Eva loves you so very much that she wanted to be with you all the time. I think it says that you are a great mum! 🙂 Big Hugs xx

    Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

  54. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    November 13, 2016 / 6:56 pm

    I think your friend has this spot on Laura – there’s no question that you should feel guilty for having made your time together so special, or for the close relationship she has with her sister. Both of those are such positive things, you should never feel bad for them! I really feel for you, it must be so awful to watch your child going through this and know that there’s pretty much nothing you can do to help them. For what it’s worth, this came up over a family dinner this week, as my cousin’s son had awful difficulties settling into school – I’d remembered that, but when I asked how long it went on for, my mum said that it was pretty much the whole of the first term, but then after that he just turned a corner. You’re not alone in this by any means, and I’m sure it will get better. And our conversation came up because his little brother has started school this term and absolutely loves it – apparently he gets upset when it’s the weekend and there’s no school! So definitely don’t think it’s anything to do with your parenting – some kids just need longer to settle. Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 11:34 am

      Thank you Katy, it’s so reassuring to know that others are experiencing the same. And I know you’re right, had I put Eva in pre-school for more hours each week or made our time at home any less fun, I would be sat here feeling equally guilty with massive regrets. I’m hoping that she turns a corner in the new year at the latest, she’s SO stubborn though so once she’s made her mind up that she doesn’t like something it really becomes impossible to get her to change her mind. I have no idea where she gets that from….!! Haha! xxx

  55. Nige
    November 13, 2016 / 8:40 pm

    It’s so tough we had the same problem with one of girls when I asked her it was the toys are boring really beautifully written as usual Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 11:30 am

      Thanks Nige, yep we have “It’s boring!” too, oh and the toys are all broken she says. It’s very hard, and emotionally draining! Will see you Friday. xx

  56. November 13, 2016 / 11:50 pm

    Oh no poor little thing! I hope she will get used to it and will start liking being at school eventually

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 11:29 am

      Me too, it’s been a long seven weeks that’s for sure! xx

  57. Mackenzie Glanville
    November 14, 2016 / 6:58 am

    oh honey it is so hard to see them so upset and to not want to just say OK you don’t have to go. Deep down we know that keeping them home will only make it harder for them to growing confidence and social skills yet as a mum we want to wrap them up and stop the tears. Yes I struggled with mine. In particular the girls were harder than my son. Aspen was very attached to me and at 12 and a half she still is! She went through a particular hard stage during her first year at school after she hurt her foot a little an the sport teacher told her she would be alright and in her words “and I wasn’t alright mummy”. She felt she wasn’t being listened to. After a chat with her regular teacher who then passed on why Aspen wasn’t enjoying school to the sport teacher, the sport teacher gave her a lolly and made her special helper and that really turned things around. April was my hardest though, she struggled with me leaving her, we found what worked best with her was as the teacher approached the classroom she would stop and say “hello April” and then take April by the hand and walk into class. April needed to know she mattered. Good luck honey and know that it is not something you have done wrong! At the end of the day they have only been on earth such a short time so things can be confusing. Just smile at her and tell her how proud you are when you pick her up and she will get through it. April now cries when school holidays arrive she would live at school if she could lol xx

    • Laura Dove
      November 14, 2016 / 11:28 am

      Thank you. It’s so reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. I often wonder why Eva is struggling and other children aren’t, but they are all so different aren’t they. I think that’s a really good point, they need to feel that they matter, especially amongst a class of so many. This morning she ran all the way to school and I really thought she would be fine, then time to go in and the tears start. One day we’ll get there….. xxx

  58. November 14, 2016 / 9:37 pm

    Oh Laura my heart goes out to you. I was exactly the same as Eva when I was a child. I just didn’t want to go and had no real reasons to give my mum. In the end the way that the teacher and my mum worked out that might help me, was my mum came into the school for an hour at the start of the day. She wasn’t in my class and I never saw her, but just knowing she was there helped me. She would go in a read with the children and teach them to sew. I know this probably won’t help you, as you have Harry and Megan at home, I am the youngest. But, I want you to know that Eva isn’t alone and there are many children that find it difficult to settle. I hope she settles soon for you and for her. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

    • Laura Dove
      November 15, 2016 / 5:26 pm

      Thank you Laura, it’s so reassuring to read that others have experienced the same, or were exactly the same as Eva. We live a stones throw from the school and I have reassured her of that fact countless times, but I sometimes think she is looking for any excuse not to like school, regardless of the ways I try to make it easy for her!! She is SO stubborn and if she has her mind set on something she won’t budge!! I so hope she changes her mind soon though, it’s exhausting! xxx

  59. November 16, 2016 / 9:07 am

    Oh my goodness, it broke my heart reading this. I really hope Eva settles into school soon. It must feel so awful for you to know she’s not happy and that there is nothing you can do. It sounds like you are such a fab mama and she knows that and misses you so much. Hopefully she’ll make a lovely group of friends at school and they’ll give her excitement to go everyday. x

    • Laura Dove
      November 16, 2016 / 9:44 am

      Thank you Chloe, it really has been heartbreaking. She has some lovely friends who all went with her from nursery so she knows pretty much everyone in the class, I think it’s just genuinely a case of she doesn’t want to go, and WOW that girl is stubborn!! xx

  60. November 17, 2016 / 8:48 pm

    I’m afraid I don’t have any experience of this at all…sounds horrendous… #picknmix

    • Laura Dove
      November 18, 2016 / 9:52 am

      I’m hoping it gets easier! xx

  61. November 17, 2016 / 11:11 pm

    It’s really hard I do feel for you. My eldest had problems separating from me and it would break my heart. On the other side as a teacher I do see it a lot and I know that they are busy and happy the rest of the day. I hope it settles for you. Thanks for linking to #Picknmix
    Eilidh x

    • Laura Dove
      November 18, 2016 / 9:49 am

      Thank you, that’s reassuring that as a teacher you know they are happy once they’re in school. I worry so much, leaving her there looking all sad and crying for me is just heartbreaking! xx

  62. November 18, 2016 / 12:04 pm

    This made me cry and my heartbreak. It is such a horrid situation. I’m afraid I can’t offer any advise as my little boy is not yet 2 although he did struggle settling into nursery, but he is fine now. My goddaughter is currently going through something similar though so it isn’t just your Eva. Also do not blame yourself! It is not your fault and it is wonderful that she had such a wonderful time with you. Cherish that and don’t regret it. Some children just struggle more than others. Do the school have a playground buddy who could meet her in the morning? Could she go in a few minutes later (or earlier) than the other children so the playground/classroom is less intimidating? If you don’t feel they are doing enough tell them so. After all they have a large class and sometimes they do need it pointed out clearer. (I am a teacher and we are only human ?) Sending big hugs xx #fortheloveofblog

    • Laura Dove
      November 18, 2016 / 4:46 pm

      Ahh thank you for your lovely comment, everyone has been so helpful and supportive. We tend to get there just as the children are going in as I find if we are hanging around in the playground for too long it just builds up her upset and panic. Yesterday when I hugged her goodbye her heart was literally beating out of her chest, that was very hard for me as I realised that she is genuinely terrified of going in each day. The teacher is lovely and so supportive but still, this is my daughter, and it will always be harder for me to just shove her through the door, go home and forget about it. I hope it gets easier, only 5 weeks until the Christmas holidays. xx

  63. November 18, 2016 / 6:01 pm

    Ah this is so awful, I hated school, mum changed by schools a few times to try and help me but I just hated the whole experience. I really feel for you both; I hope she settles x

    • Laura Dove
      November 20, 2016 / 4:04 pm

      I loved school so it’s completely new to me. I so hope that she changes her mind about it soon! xx

  64. Sam
    November 18, 2016 / 8:06 pm

    This is so heartbreaking, I was crying reading it. My daughter took her time to settle into nursery. I hated leaving her. She would cling to me and scream the place down when I was leaving. I would get around the corner and breakdown because I felt so bad for leaving her. The staff assured me she was fine when I had gone but I was still riddled with guilt, even though I knew it was good for her. She looks forward to it now but is still a bit quiet. I really hope your daughter manages to settle in soon. I really feel for both of you. X

    • Laura Dove
      November 20, 2016 / 4:02 pm

      Ahh thank you Sam, it’s heartbreaking isn’t it? I feel the same, I get home and I’m in bits that I had to leave her when all she wanted was one more cuddle, or to stay by my side for a little longer. I hope that it gets easier, its reassuring that your daughter now looks forward to it. xx

  65. November 20, 2016 / 9:35 pm

    Laura, I must admit that my heart is aching more for you than your daughter right now. Before you think I am heartless, may I explain why I feel this way. Just my take, not necessarily the “right” way of thinking….

    Your daughter *will* be better off for having this experience. Life is not all smiles and sunshine. There are times in all of our lives when we don’t want to do things that we have to do for the greater good. Imagine if we went through our early childhoods with no conflict, no hardships. Essentially we would enter into a time of our lives when the first sign of trouble would knock us out. Coping with issues would be foreign. All of this could come at a time when school is harder and relationships can be more complex. Imagine the setbacks that could occur? All because children have not had an opportunity to acquire the thick skin necessary to deal with life.

    I do not know you outside of your blog, but I hope you are proud of yourself and your decision to keep Eva in her class. She is learning way more than what you had bargained for. In a good way! Hang in there Mama! #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      November 21, 2016 / 9:32 am

      Thank you so much, I completely understand and I agree with you absolutely. I think it would be very easy to say okay honey, stay at home for another year, but it wouldn’t be teaching her anything at all about life or the fact that sometimes, you have to do something you really don’t want to. You are so right, and I also think that she will be a stronger character for having learned these lessons early on, plus I’m hoping she will be a little less stubborn as she grows!! It goes against everything I feel as a parent to walk away when she is wanting a cuddle, or just some comfort and reassurance, and that has been so hard to do, but I know that I have to be strong or else I’ll simply fuel the situation. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, it means a lot! xxx

  66. November 21, 2016 / 8:49 pm

    I just loved what your friend said, and I think that’s probably so true, you created a wonderful homelife she doesn’t want to go to school! Schools are really used to this, my little one used to complain about not wanting to go to school, not having any friends. I think a lot of it was wanting my attention, the teachers used to observe my child at playtime and say all was fine. But the playground can be a big scary place so totally understand why it’s happening, but be strong, she will be fine! #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      November 21, 2016 / 9:26 pm

      Thank you. She is off sick today and I just know that tomorrow will be even worse if she is fit to go back in! It’s reassuring to know that others have been through the same. Thank you. xx

  67. November 29, 2016 / 6:34 am

    Ah bless her and you. We had to move the kids school when we moved house and it took my daughter a while to settle but she did eventually and in her own way and time. Just be there for cuddles when needed x

    • Laura Dove
      November 29, 2016 / 3:55 pm

      Ten weeks in and it’s slowly getting a little easier, fingers crossed! xx

  68. Michelle
    October 15, 2017 / 10:54 pm

    How is Eva going at school now, almost a year on? My eldest started school today and despite being so excited, was completely bereft when the bell rang and I had to leave. So many kids, so much noise, so different to her lovely preschool which she loved. I’d love to know how long it has taken Eva to settle in and how it’s all going!

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:27 am

      She is still struggling Michelle! I’m sorry that your eldest is the same, it’s heart breaking. I’m just writing a post about it actually, both she and Megan are hysterical every morning, it’s so hard and probably not the most reassuring to others that we are still experiencing this 13 months down the line! xx

  69. Hannah
    September 25, 2018 / 8:59 am

    We are only 5 weeks in, but every morning my son tells me he hates school, that he is tired and doesn’t want to go as he has no friends. It breaks my heart every morning when I have to leave him and he begs to come home with me. The teacher says he is fine all day, but I hate the thought of him just getting along unhappily with the day alone. Today he looked so dejected and alone when I left him to walk in. Really preying it gets easier but from reading your more recent replies it seems not ?, ny two were 13 months apart and went to nursery together and both were really happy. My youngest starts next August and I’m dreading that already.

    • Laura Dove
      September 26, 2018 / 10:28 am

      Oh Hannah I’m sorry that you are struggling with this. We had 15 months of it and I won’t lie, it was hideous. My girls are 15 months apart and then megs and harry 12 months apart so I totally get them being close and struggling without the others. I think this was half of our issue. If you have a read of my blog post ‘To my daughters teacher’ you will see that we did turn a corner and things did work out for us. I really hope that you get the support you need from the school and things improve for you all. Lots of love xxx

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