To my daughters teacher

To my daughters teacher,

For fifteen long months I have sat here each day with a tight knot of angst in the pit of my stomach, checking the clock, counting down the minutes, feeling completely on edge until twenty past three when I could go to school, pick up Eva and soothe away her worries.

Today is very different, and that’s entirely down to you. 

When Eva first started in your class this September it was incredibly hard for the both of us. After twelve months of tears every bedtime, and hysterics every morning, I was hopeful that Year 1 would be a very different experience, that the happy little girl I saw during the Summer holidays would carry through to September, that the stress of the previous year would soon be a distant memory.

And I was devastated when that proved not to be the case. 

I’m sure that when Eva landed in your class, you assumed she was just a very shy little girl who simply lacked confidence, who naturally spoke in that timid little whisper, who was taking a little longer to settle than her peers. And I’m sure as a teacher, I would have assumed the same.

As a parent, as Eva’s Mummy, I was desperate to ask you to take care of her for me each day, to be kind to her, to speak gently to her, to remember that she wasn’t just another child in your class, that she was so very special for so many reasons, none of which I could bring myself to say out loud.

I wanted to tell you that we waited eight long years for another baby in our arms, that, for every day of those nine long months, I had been convinced we would lose her in just the same way we had her big brother. I wanted to tell you that the moment she was born, when she opened her eyes and screamed at the top of her lungs, as we introduced her to Lewis for the very first time, it was the happiest moment of our whole lives.

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I wanted to tell you about the nights I had lain awake, long after she started sleeping through, just watching her chest go up and down, listening to those snuffly little baby sounds, pinching myself that she was really ours to keep.

I wanted to tell you how every smile, every babbled word, every adorable little giggle, had healed my heart in ways I wasn’t even sure was possible. I wanted to tell you how she saved me from all of that sadness, with that beautiful smile and those big blue eyes, living proof that regardless of what we went through, she was worth it a thousand times over.

I wanted to tell you that the quiet little girl who sat in your classroom each day was so much more than she appeared to be. 

But it’s hard to know what to say in the hustle and bustle of the playground, especially when I had a lump in my throat and couldn’t trust myself to speak. It was difficult to find a moment, to find the right words without sounding crazy, to work out how to tell you that the little girl who came to school each day wasn’t my little girl at all.

Because that silent little girl is not the same Eva who shouts and sings at the top of her voice, who is mischievous, cheeky and more than a little bit crazy. The Eva who looks so terrified at drop off isn’t the same little girl who is so bold and brave and full of big ideas, whose imagination, enthusiasm and zest for life have no limits.

The Eva who stands there each morning in tears, with those big sad eyes and downturned mouth, isn’t the same little girl whose eyes twinkle when she smiles, whose laugh is infectious, who is so incredibly beautiful that she genuinely takes my breath away.

The Eva who sits in your class each day is not the same little girl we first sent to school just fifteen months ago.

There hasn’t been a day over the last fifteen months when we haven’t tried to help her, when we haven’t spoken to her about her worries or begged her to tell us what we can do to help. We’ve tried reward charts and the promise of treats, we’ve crossed days off on the calendar, made lists and photo books, popped special toys in her book bag and love hearts on our hands.

We’ve spent hours pouring over parenting websites and chatting with friends, veered between speaking softly and doling out the tough love; we’ve got upset and frustrated and probably handled it in all the wrong ways at times, and all the right ways at others, but still nothing at all has worked.

And seeing her change like that, following me from room to room, crying herself to sleep at bedtime, pleading with me not to send her to school each morning, physically shaking at the thought of getting in that line each day, has been soul destroying. Knowing that my little girl was still in there somewhere, but not knowing how to get her back, has undoubtedly been one of my biggest challenges to date.

Last week as you approached me at pick up, I braced myself for whatever it was you had to tell me. I assumed, with the start of the second term, there would be more pressure to get Eva into the line each morning, that I would come away feeling completely at a loss as to how to make that happen. So when you told me you recognised that this was so much more than a little girl struggling to settle, I sensed a glimmer of hope. When you identified that it had become a form of separation anxiety, I felt reassured that I wasn’t going crazy. And when you told me you wanted to work together to help her, I could have cried with relief.

As you told me about your plans, the role play you had done that day, the kind friend you had recruited for the line each morning, the story board and special reward chart, designed specially with her favourite things, I was so touched at the lengths you had gone to. And most of all, after fifteen long months and all of those mornings, I was just so incredibly relieved that you had thrown us a lifeline.

And so for the last five mornings, Eva has woken with a smile on her face. She has skipped into school, lined up with her friend, chatted, smiled and giggled away, and I have waved her goodbye and left without a moments hesitation or tear. And more than that, she has come home from school each day, bubbling with excitement, telling me about the latest sticker on her chart or the special activity she was allowed to choose, her eyes shining, her smile genuine. 


When I went away earlier this week she no longer clung to me as I left, and when I rang her each night she couldn’t wait to tell me of the wonderful things she had done at school each day. When I returned home last night and crept up to kiss her goodnight, I swear that her little face looked relaxed for the first time in months, and when she woke this morning and fell into my arms I was grateful that not only was I back, but so was she. 

They say it takes a big heart to shape little minds, and I am so grateful that Eva has a teacher who has shown her such kindness, understanding and patience. It takes just one teacher to make an impression on a child which can last a lifetime and I’m sure, when Eva looks back in years to come, she will remember a teacher who taught her that there is nothing at all to be afraid of, that school can be pretty wonderful, and who believed in her long before she believed in herself.

To my daughters teacher, thank you for giving us our little girl back. 

 

 

 

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184 Comments

  1. January 11, 2018 / 6:38 pm

    You have written it really well, I could imagine things happening in front of me. And yes, your daughter is really cute little angel.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 12:19 pm

      Thank you Puneet. She’s a beautiful little girl inside and out, I’m so glad that she is learning to love school. xx

  2. January 11, 2018 / 7:49 pm

    It’s not very often a blog post makes me well up with a lump in my throat but you got me. And I was so so pleased to hear things are taking a turn for the better where school is concerned for Eva. A beautiful, beautiful tribute to a teacher. I hope she gets to read it x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 12:16 pm

      Ahh thank you Cath. I cried a lot when I wrote it, mainly just seeing how far she had come. She’s such a special little girl and I felt so sad at times that we were losing a sense of who she used to be. It’s lovely to have my baby back. xx

  3. January 11, 2018 / 7:50 pm

    This is so heartwarming! I am moved and you’re such a loving mum and I’m glad that Eva has a wonderful teacher – in school and at home. Thank you for sharing!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 12:14 pm

      Thank you so much. It’s been hard and I have felt really quite helpless at times, but things are definitely looking up! xx

  4. January 11, 2018 / 8:00 pm

    It’s is so good to hear Eva has taken well to her new routine. What a fab teacher to see what was needed and then to go to that lengths to help her achieve it. I bet you are so relieved.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 12:13 pm

      Thank you Jo, such a huge relief! Its lovely to see her starting to thrive. She has a great teacher. xx

  5. January 11, 2018 / 8:02 pm

    Thanks for sharing and get to learn little Eva that she get through as shiny child. I’m sure the teacher will be rewarded and fulfilling to hear and see the growth of her.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 12:13 pm

      Thank you Soonjoo, it’s a huge relief for us all! xx

  6. January 11, 2018 / 8:20 pm

    Laura, you have no idea how much I needed to read this tonight! Lily sobs everyday at drop off and it’s heartbreakig; today was awful. She doesn’t sleep properly on a pre school night & I was beginning to lose hope that it was going to stop at some point. You have just given me that hope back – thank you! I am so pleased you have this amazing teacher in your life! x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 11:06 am

      Ahh Maria, I’m so sorry that you are going through this with Lily. It’s heartbreaking isn’t it? I honestly never thought that we would reach this point and yet I promise you, once the plans were in place, it happened over night. I’ve had so many parents commenting that they can’t believe the change in her in just a few days, she has that sparkle back in her eyes you know? I really hope that things improve for you, if ever you need someone to talk to I’m right here! xx

  7. January 11, 2018 / 8:55 pm

    This was such a beautiful and well written post. Thank you so so much for sharing this post!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 11:04 am

      Thank you Samantha, xxx

  8. January 11, 2018 / 9:11 pm

    I read your post a while back about how Eva was so unhappy at school and I have often wondered how she was getting on so it was lovely when this popped up on my Facebook today! This is so wonderful to hear and what a difference a great teacher makes. It does make me sad to think that if she had had an equally thoughtful teacher in reception then maybe it would have been a happier journey for you all! So glad that things have turned a corner though!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 11:03 am

      Thank you Nicola. I honestly can’t fault her reception teacher, although she had never taught reception before and nor did she have children of her own which I do think makes a big difference with a child like Eva. Her teacher now has a child of a similar age and I guess he could relate to her and what she was going through? I’m so grateful that he really took the time to work her out. It’s a huge relief to have turned a corner. xx

  9. January 11, 2018 / 9:16 pm

    Oh Laura, this has made me cry reading this. I’m so so pleased for both of you that it’s worked and Eva’s got a teacher who’really been able to understand how to bring her out of herself so she can now enjoy school

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 11:00 am

      Ahh thank you Emma. I think Eva just needed the right teacher to bring her out of her shell. It’s such a relief to see her enjoying her time! xx

  10. January 11, 2018 / 9:17 pm

    Oh this made me well up – I am so glad for both you and Eva that you have this wonderful teacher helping and that Eva has been waking up and going into school with a smile on her face.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:51 am

      Thank you Rebecca, it has been amazing to see the change in her. I guess a little time and patience was exactly what she needed, xx

  11. January 11, 2018 / 9:31 pm

    I am so so glad Eva is happier about school. As a teacher I love nothing more than hearing about teachers who go beyond what is expected. That is what teaching should be about. Making a difference.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:51 am

      Thank you Victoria. Absolutely, I know how strongly you feel about that. I wish there were more teachers like you and Mr T! xx

  12. January 11, 2018 / 9:52 pm

    What an amazing teacher. I can’t even imagine how relieved you must feel!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:50 am

      This morning she went in without even looking back, I can’t believe the change in her!! xx

  13. Al
    January 11, 2018 / 10:06 pm

    Inspired to go in tomorrow and speak out. I know how wonderful our teacher is but somehow I feel they’re missing the real deal with my little man. I’ve followed you on IG since she started school and couldn’t be happier for you. Read this with a lump in my throat. Xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:49 am

      Ahh Al, thank you so much. I think you should speak out, I wish I had to be honest. Im sure that your teacher will want to hear what you have to say and learn more about your son as a person rather than just another boy in their class. xx

  14. sadie quinton
    January 11, 2018 / 10:13 pm

    Eva is a poppet & her teacher is pretty awesome.
    Long may it continue, school can be such a positive.
    This post made my eyes spring leaks.
    Yay to your family having the joy of those magical smiles from Eva returned x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:48 am

      Thank you Sadie, I have my fingers and toes crossed that this continues. This morning she ran in without even looking back, it made a wonderful change! xx

  15. January 11, 2018 / 10:59 pm

    This is so lovely to read. What a special girl you have and a special teacher to develop and nurture her. As a teacher myself, I also found this inspiring – thank you for sharing it.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:47 am

      Thank you Tori. He is very special, I had so many worries when I found out she would have a male teacher. She has always struggled with men and after finding reception so hard I worried she would find it even harder. It turns out that he was exactly what she needed and she genuinely loves him, it’s been amazing to see her go into school without a single tear this week! xx

  16. Javier sarmiento
    January 12, 2018 / 4:23 am

    this is a such an inspiring post that i welled up myself even though i don’t show emotion. i felt that in my heart

  17. January 12, 2018 / 8:36 am

    Oh bless her, that picture on her first day. I’m so pleased that things are getting better for her. Her teacher sounds fantastic!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:46 am

      I know Nikki, I deliberated about not including that photo as it breaks my heart but it was important for me to share that this wasn’t just a few tears each day, this was genuinely making her desperately unhappy and completely terrified. It’s a huge relief to see her thriving! xx

  18. January 12, 2018 / 8:55 am

    Oh I’m so so glad things are better now, I can’t even imagine how heartbreaking it must’ve been each morning. What an absolutely wonderful teacher to notice what was going on and help like that, I only help my boy has the same when he starts in September! xo

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:45 am

      It has been tough, for all of us really. We only ever want our children to be happy don’t we? I’m sure your son will have a wonderful teacher, it’s a daunting process when they start school! xx

  19. January 12, 2018 / 9:38 am

    I’m so pleased that everything is improving for her – it’s so sad as a teacher & parent to see a child so unhappy about coming to school x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:44 am

      Thank you, it really is heartbreaking and I love that he saw that too. xx

  20. January 12, 2018 / 9:51 am

    I actually read this last night before #ThatFridayLinky came around but I had to come back and comment.
    Beautifully written and I can’t imagine what you have gone through. I feel very lucky that we’ve never had these issues with our 4 girls but we have friends who’ve really struggled like you.
    I may have issues with the education system as a whole at time but never with the teachers. Those guys are on the front line and I am privileged to know some amazing teachers who do amazing work each and every day.
    I hope this is tha start of a very happy school life for Eva.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:44 am

      Thank you so much David. I totally agree, I think there will always be issues with the education system but those teachers are worth their weight in gold. There’s 35 children in Eva’s class and it would have been very easy to overlook her struggles and label her a quiet child, I love that her teacher has really taken the time to get to know her, to get the best out of her and to work really hard to bring her out of her shell. This Christmas she wrote in his Christmas card, “I love you so much” and that speaks volumes to me, if my child loves her teacher that much, he must be doing a great job. xx

  21. January 12, 2018 / 9:57 am

    This is so beautiful – it certainly makes all the difference to have such a wonderful teacher. Well done Eva. xx Sarah #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:42 am

      Thank you Sarah, this morning she just ran in ON HER OWN!! It feels a bit like a miracle!!! xx

  22. January 12, 2018 / 10:24 am

    This is so lovely! Teachers don’t always realise the huge impact that they can have on these young minds and it’s fantastic that this year, your teacher took the time to put your daughter at ease and sometimes that is all it takes! It’s scary for all of us to change circumstances and start new things but taking the time out like that is why some teachers are completely undervalued! So happy that your daughter is starting to enjoy year 1

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 10:40 am

      Thank you Charlotte, it has been such a huge weight lifted to have her not only go into school without tears, but to come out smiling! A good teacher is priceless! xx

  23. January 12, 2018 / 10:53 am

    Great that she is finally settling in to school. Sounds like that teacher is doing an amazing job. #ThatFridayLinky

  24. January 12, 2018 / 10:59 am

    Aww what a wonderful teacher, I am very pleased for Eva. Su

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 3:43 pm

      Thank you Su! xx

  25. January 12, 2018 / 11:21 am

    Utterly beautiful tribute to your daughter and very heartfelt and I bet it was written at one go without much editing. I am so sorry to hear of her unhappiness at school, My daughter got so unhappy that we took her out of school and now home-educate allowing her to be herself every day. Teachers can make such a difference and I am so pleased you have found someone who genuinely seems to want to work with you to help your little girl. Wishing you both all the best moving forwards – popping over from the FabFriday linky

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 3:44 pm

      Thank you Kate. Yes it was, I literally sobbed my way through writing it, just out of utter relief that we had turned a corner! I honestly considered home schooling at one point as it got so bad, I’m just so grateful that her teacher was able to help. She’s been a different child the last week! Thanks again for reading. xxx

  26. January 12, 2018 / 11:29 am

    so much pain you have both been through and what a fantastic teacher to go the extra mile and help her settle in and through the difficulty. Good luck I hope it continues to work

  27. January 12, 2018 / 11:50 am

    I am so glad that you’re starting to see some changes, it really shows that the right teacher can be all that it takes x

  28. January 12, 2018 / 12:16 pm

    This is what is beautiful post. I have known a few teachers who have bent over backwards to help our little girl. There are some amazing teachers who really do care about the kids they teach, and it looks like you have found amazing teacher for your daughter. These amazing teachers make all the difference to our and our children’s world.

    Thank for Sharing

    John M

  29. January 12, 2018 / 2:15 pm

    Those who can teach, as the saying goes. For some it is a job, for others, it is like welcoming 30 of their own children in their classroom each day. Wanting the best for them, soothing their fears and showing them what the world can offer them. She sounds like a wonderful teacher x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 2:53 pm

      Yes!! That;s definitely the difference between a good teacher and a great teacher! I am so grateful that he has helped us and she has turned this corner. xx

  30. January 12, 2018 / 2:26 pm

    Aw what a touching post. Drop off at school can be hard, but it always helps when there are teachers that do really care and make an effort to help your child x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 2:52 pm

      I agree, I feel so reassured that she is really being, not only looked after but cared for too. xx

  31. January 12, 2018 / 2:30 pm

    How beautiful. This was such a lovely post to read this afternoon and it’s so nice to hear that the teacher is working with you on this and the difference it has made.

    Ami xxx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 12, 2018 / 2:52 pm

      Thank you Ami, it’s made such a difference in just one week! She’s like a different child altogether! xx

  32. January 12, 2018 / 2:56 pm

    This is such a great post, teachers can be amazing people, people who can really help a child grow and become the best they can be.

  33. January 12, 2018 / 4:05 pm

    That first day of year 1 photo almost broke my heart. I feel so blessed that my children both enjoy going to school and we did not have to go through this. Starting daycare was another story, but they got through that. I am SO happy your daughter’s teacher was able to make the connections for you and your little one. I can’t imagine the heartbreak every day that you must have felt. We have had a few amazing teachers as well and they make such a huge difference.
    ~Jess
    #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 5:01 pm

      Thank you so much Jess, it destroyed me to see her like that, especially when I wasn’t sure how to help her. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that a teacher took the time to get to know her and to find a way to help her out, she just needed a little time and patience. xx

  34. January 12, 2018 / 5:18 pm

    Such a lovely post and I’m glad that the teacher is helping rather than being more abrupt as I have seen this happen in my son’s school. I hope all goes well xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 5:00 pm

      Yes! I think that she just needed someone to take the time to listen and be patient, Im so relieved we have turned a corner. xx

  35. January 12, 2018 / 5:53 pm

    What a sweet message. I am happy to hear things are getting better with the school drop off.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 5:00 pm

      Thank you so much.xx

  36. January 12, 2018 / 6:21 pm

    Thanks for sharing this. Your daughter is so sweet. I’m glad that your daughter’s teacher is supportive too. I hope it all goes well with you x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:59 pm

      Thank you so much Victoria, I so hope that it lasts! xx

  37. January 12, 2018 / 7:18 pm

    Your daughter is a credit to you. Starting school is tough and teachers know that all too well, but your daughter’s teacher sounds wonderful. Beautifully written. Thanks for joining #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:59 pm

      Thank you Emily, it’s such a huge milestone for children isn’t it? And one that some children will always struggle with. Im so grateful that her teacher has reached out to help her. xx

  38. January 12, 2018 / 8:20 pm

    I can’t tell you how pleased I am to read this Laura. I’m so pleased that she finally has someone who is going that extra step for her – that’s the difference that an excellent teacher can make. It must be just absolutely amazing for you to see that difference in her, and it must take a huge weight off your mind. I hope it continues to get better and better for her as the term goes on. Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:58 pm

      Thank you so much Katy, we are so relieved! I think this teacher is going to shape her in so many ways, long may it last! xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:57 pm

      Thank you Claire, we are over the moon! xx

  39. January 12, 2018 / 8:47 pm

    This brought me to tears I can relate to this with my daughter it is so true hownimprtant their teacher is. My daughter has such a wonderful teacher who has turned her confidence around and has done everything she can. So lovely to hear you little girl is so happy. Xxx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:57 pm

      Thank you so much. Im so glad that your daughter has the same! It just takes one person they can really relate to doesn’t it? xx

  40. January 12, 2018 / 10:06 pm

    I would love to write so much about this post. But I sit here with tears running down my cheeks, both sad that Eva has had such a struggle, yet happy that she is now a happier girl. That things are looking up and she is becoming the child at school, that you know at home. Totally chuffed for you all xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:57 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Tanya. It’s been such a difficult 15 months for her, and for me too seeing my baby so sad, but I think this will all make her the person she becomes. Thank you for reading xx

  41. January 13, 2018 / 4:34 am

    Such a beautiful and heartfelt letter. She is indeed breathtaking. Thanks for sharing!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

      Thank you so much, we certainly think so. xx

  42. January 13, 2018 / 8:46 am

    Your posts always make me cry happy and sad tears together. Eva will remember this teacher for the rest of her life. Teaching (and parenting) done right. Hope the smiles continue! xox

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

      Thank you so much Lorna. I cried the whole way through writing it, Im just so relieved to have my baby back. xx

  43. January 13, 2018 / 12:00 pm

    Laura, you have my in tears again. You tell such a heartfelt story, and I have read so many of your posts about how Eva has struggled and it is heartbreaking to read. But this is wonderful, and such a lovely read. Lovely to read that her teacher is on the same level, and working with you; and it is utterly wonderful to read that Eva has been handling the last few days so much better.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:53 pm

      Thank you so much Jen. We’ve had 6 days now of no tears and yesterday she even told me she wished she could go to school today! It’s like it has all clicked into place! xx

  44. January 13, 2018 / 12:08 pm

    I am so glad that her teacher recognised what Eva was going through and it sounds like she has worked wonders. There is nothing better than a supportive teacher and school, is there?

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:53 pm

      Absolutely, it has made such a huge difference to all of us! xx

  45. January 13, 2018 / 1:06 pm

    Gulp. This was such an emotional read. I often wonder how your little gorgeous one is going on as I remember you saying she was struggling. So pleased that things are improving. Really gives me hope that our middle one (Y7) will eventually settle and be the bubble of joy that she once was. Never thought about separation anxiety but wondering now if that is what V’s worry is. Thank you x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:52 pm

      Ahh thank you Helen. I think we exhausted every avenue and then realised that separation anxiety was very much the issue. It was spilling over into every area of her life, I had no idea how to help her! Thankfully her teacher has been just lovely, I hope that the same happens with your middle one. xx

  46. January 13, 2018 / 1:33 pm

    Aww this was emotional to read. My little brother (he is 5 now) used to hate going to school but he seems to have settled in a bit better now. I am glad that things seem to be improving for Eva in school and I hope this continues. It’s so great that the teacher has been going to such great lengths too – very reassuring xx

    Eva has the most gorgeous eyes by the way!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:51 pm

      Thank you Amy, its so hard when they first start, I thought we would never read this point! And thank you, she really does have the most beautiful eyes and they show every bit of emotion! xx

  47. January 13, 2018 / 2:56 pm

    So beautiful. You are so right that all it needs is the right teacher. So glad things are turning around for your little girl. She is gorgeous, it must’ve been so difficult to see her so sad x kcacols

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:50 pm

      Thank you Carolynne, it’s been so lovely to see her turn that corner! x

  48. January 13, 2018 / 4:42 pm

    First off, what a touching story. I really felt you tug at my heart as I read each word. I know only too well what you went through from my own story. I am SO happy that this teacher was chosen for your daughter. Teachers get a bad wrap sometimes but some are truly special and really SHOULD be teachers. I am thrilled for your daughter and for you that her separation anxiety was resolved. I didn’t have the same luck as you, I brought my daughter home to teach her myself. It was simply too painful otherwise.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:49 pm

      Ahh I am so sorry that your story didn’t end well Sharon, I home that home schooling has restored your daughters happiness. I did consider it at one point, I felt so guilty for putting my daughter through all of that upset, but Im glad that we persevered. It just took one great teacher to help her, thank god! xx

  49. January 13, 2018 / 4:47 pm

    I have tears in my eyes and a nig lump in my troath ❤ such a cute little girl and so brave! Hope a lot of teachers will get to read this story

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 13, 2018 / 6:01 pm

      Ahh thank you Denni, she’s had a really rough ride but I think she finally found a way to find her feet. xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:48 pm

      Ahh thank you Denni. I hope that other teachers are equally wonderful with their students. xx

  50. January 13, 2018 / 8:49 pm

    I can only imagine how difficult it would be to see your daughter that upset. I’m so happy that the new teacher is so supportive and that things are getting better.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:48 pm

      Thank you Rachel, it was so difficult for her, and me too, but I’m so relieved she has turned a corner. xx

  51. January 13, 2018 / 9:23 pm

    Oh this is just wonderful to read and brought a tear to my eye. What a wonderful teacher and an amazing little girl you have 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:47 pm

      Thank you Jemma. It has been a huge relief, I can’t even tell you how grateful we are! xx

  52. January 14, 2018 / 6:23 am

    Such a moving letter, it sounds like you had such a hard time. I can’t imagine it. I’m dreading sending my daughters to school we I know I’ll miss them but I worry that they’ll be sad too x #kcacols

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:46 pm

      Ahh its such a worrying time isn’t it! Most children really do settle so easily, I found that hard as it felt like Eva was the only one! xx

  53. January 14, 2018 / 9:33 am

    There are good teachers and bad ones sounds like you have one that has really connected with Eva. So glad your heart has healed Laura good luck to Eva for 2018 in school, outstanding post as usual written with so much passion Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:46 pm

      Thank you Nige. It has been such a huge relief to see her turn a corner, a good teacher really is worth their weight in gold! xx

  54. January 14, 2018 / 12:00 pm

    This gave me chills reading and brought a tear to my eye at the end. So beautiful and I’m so pleased she has a teacher who is willing to go out of her way to help her #kcacols

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 14, 2018 / 4:45 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Tracey, the change in her has been just amazing! xx

  55. January 14, 2018 / 7:46 pm

    This is so heartwarming and a really lovely tribute to your daughter’s teacher. It is amazing the difference a good teacher can make. Starting school is such a huge milestone, it is completely understandable for some children to find it a difficult time. I’m really glad that both you and Eva now have the support you need.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 5:05 pm

      Thank you Emma. It’s amazing to see the changes in her in just a week! Today she lined up all on her own! I can’t believe it! xx

  56. January 15, 2018 / 3:22 am

    I am not yet a parent yet I can really feel the love you had for Eva while reading this post. Also, it’s a nice gesture to appreciate her teachers for doing a great job. I love that she is now the same new old Eva that you had before.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 4:58 pm

      Ahh thank you Anosa. She really is her old self, it’s such a relief! xx

  57. January 15, 2018 / 9:23 am

    What a wonderful teacher to recognize that something greater was going wrong and working to come up with solutions. I’m just so sad that this couldn’t have happened for her last year. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 4:52 pm

      Thank you Heather, and me too. It’s a shame it has taken so long for her to adapt but I’m just so relieved that she finally has! xx

  58. January 15, 2018 / 11:51 am

    aw bless her im sure she will adapt well and settle quickly as will you , i home educate and love having my children with me 24/7 but appreciate some parents cant always have the option , x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 4:50 pm

      Ah yes, I admire anyone who home educates but I genuinely don’t have the patience! xx

  59. January 15, 2018 / 12:05 pm

    what an amazing teacher and you’re a great mum for recognising the changes in Eva’s behaviour #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 4:49 pm

      Thank you so much, Im just so relieved we have turned that corner! xx

      • January 19, 2018 / 4:38 pm

        Teachers are such a blessing, just stopping by from #TriumphantTales

        • Laura Dove
          Author
          January 19, 2018 / 5:26 pm

          Thank you! xx

  60. January 15, 2018 / 12:48 pm

    Ooh I thought I’d commented on this last week but obviously didn’t press post – doh!

    Anyway, STOP MAKING ME CRY! 🙂 I’m joking, delighted to hear this, I imagine it is a huge relief for you. It’s horrible when they’re sad going into school, what an amazing teacher to work so hard at helping her.
    #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 4:49 pm

      Haha sorry! If it’s any consolation I cried the whole way through writing it! I am SO relieved we have turned a corner, this morning she went in ON HER OWN!!! xx

  61. January 15, 2018 / 1:27 pm

    I am so glad to hear the whole role playing plan is working out well for Eva. It must be so heartwarming to see her smile and want to go to school with all the excitement every morning. That’s indeed great progress in just 5 days.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 4:48 pm

      Thank you! It’s amazing to see the progress she has made, I am so, SO proud of her! xx

  62. January 15, 2018 / 2:08 pm

    Oh, what a beautifully written post! This is how it should be with teachers! Such gorgeous photos, too. <3

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 4:47 pm

      Thank you Ashton, I totally agree. A good teacher is priceless! xx

  63. January 15, 2018 / 4:28 pm

    And that is why some people are drawn to teaching. You are lucky she has a teacher who is passionate about what she does, and is acute to what is going on. Some thing I should imagine that is very difficult to do in a large class size. I’m glad things have got better. Long may they continue #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 4:46 pm

      I totally agree, I worried that she would be lost in a class of 35 and yet she has thrived! It’s been lovely to see! Thank you for reading. xx

  64. January 15, 2018 / 6:17 pm

    Oh my god :'( I’m crying right now. You are a WONDERFUL writer, and this letter was raw! I love it, and I love you! I’m so happy that your daughter is doing better :’) That makes me so happy to hear!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 9:53 pm

      Thank you so much Victoria! I cried a lot writing it, its been such a hard 15 months and I don’t think most people have really appreciated just how tough it has been for Eva. She changed so much, it was just heartbreaking. BUT here we are, and in just 10 days she’s like a different child again. I’m so grateful! xx

  65. January 15, 2018 / 6:49 pm

    Hi, what a beautiful and well written post, gosh it must have been tough thank goodness for the teacher. Here’s to a happy 2018 at school #BigPinkLink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 9:52 pm

      Thank you Chloe, I’m so relieved that we have turned a corner. Happy 2018 to you too! xx

  66. January 15, 2018 / 7:22 pm

    I felt so sad reading this Laura and I can only imagine how tough it must have been for such a long time. Reading about Eva’s fantastic teacher was such a relief and you must be over the moon! There are certain teachers that are worth their weight in gold and it looks as though you have one right there! I’m so happy for you all. Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 9:50 pm

      Thanks Dawn, I can’t believe the change in her! She has skipped to school each day happy as anything and this morning even got in the line all by herself! I have to pinch myself! xx

  67. January 15, 2018 / 8:54 pm

    What a lovely written post – proves how much of a difference one person can make in a child’s life meaning they don’t get lost in the class. I’ve a daughter in reception and she’s finds it difficult at times to find her social feet. Makes me wonder if i can have a chat with the teacher and see if there is more that can be done to help her settle too. Well done you though on all your efforts – that must have been tough

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 9:49 pm

      Definitely! I think a chat with the teacher can change everything, I honestly can’t believe the change in her. I wish I had spoken to them right back last September when she started but I guess I too thought she would settle. Thank you so much for reading. xx

  68. January 15, 2018 / 9:31 pm

    Ahh Laura I really feel for you. We had a terrible time when our eldest started school, just like Eva, she used to have trouble sleeping and wake most nights screaming. I used to have to drag her into school crying every day. It was terrible and I can completely relate to what you say about the school not truly knowing your little girl. I’m so pleased to hear that Eva has now turned a corner and is enjoying school; it just goes to show how invaluable a brilliant teacher is. #BigPinkLink xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 15, 2018 / 9:47 pm

      Thank you Cheryl, I remember you going through the same, it’s just heartbreaking isn’t it? I felt so helpless as we had exhausted every avenue! I guess all it took was a kind teacher to show her a little patience and understanding. I am so grateful! xx

  69. January 15, 2018 / 9:59 pm

    How beautiful, my son had one of those teachers and you won’t ever forget them. These care the teachers that were made for this career and are very special

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 12:12 pm

      Thank you, finding a special teacher is pretty amazing isn’t it? Im so glad your son had one too. xx

  70. January 15, 2018 / 10:28 pm

    What a moving description of the difficulty your daughter has faced. That picture of her ready for herfirst day at school and so sad is heartbreaking. I am so pleased she is lucky enough to have such a caring and intuitive teacher and that her methods are working. I am happy for you to finally have a relief from all that worry. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 12:12 pm

      Thank you so much. Oh I know, it just broke my heart. I think it’s been important for us to share that though and show that not every child settles into school easily. I felt that Eva was the only child out there still struggling! xx

  71. January 15, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    Oh Yay!! Thank goodness for the positive change. I’m so pleased for you all. I’m sure you’re right about this teacher, Eva will remember her. There is a teacher that was my favourite teacher at primary school and to this day I still remember her and how kind she was. #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 12:11 pm

      Thank you Jo, its been a long time coming! I didn’t find my favourite teacher until high school but she really shaped me and also the career path I went down! xx

  72. January 16, 2018 / 6:42 am

    aww it makes all the difference when you have a support teacher who listens and understands x #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 12:06 pm

      I totally agree, it has changed Eva’s whole outlook on school! xx

  73. January 16, 2018 / 10:26 am

    Great post! Glad things worked out so well in the end, I was a little worried at first during much of the opening.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 12:02 pm

      Thank you Ross, it turned out just fine. xx

  74. January 16, 2018 / 10:36 am

    As a teacher myself, this makes me happy. I wish there was more parents like you out there.
    Thanks for sharing
    #triumphanttales

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 12:02 pm

      Ahh thank you so much! xxx

  75. January 16, 2018 / 11:10 am

    Oh Laura I am so happy to read this! What an amazing teacher Eva has, I hope you show this to them so they can truly see what an amazing thing they have done. Really hope your happy girl is back for good xx #dreamteam

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 12:01 pm

      Thank you Wendy, it has been a HUGE relief all round to have turned that corner. xx

  76. January 16, 2018 / 12:53 pm

    In tears! I know how tough this has been for you and Eva, what an incredible mum you are and the lengths you’ve gone to, to try and make it better for her. When really the answer was never with you. They say that when your child starts school, the relationship becomes a triangle. Thank goodness the teacher recognised the struggles Eva was having and didn’t ignore them. Instead doing everything he could to make her days better. Finally your missing bit of the triangle is there and I hope for everyone, but especially Eva it continues. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 5:17 pm

      Ahh Laura, thank you lovely. As always you have been such a huge support, although Im sure I have sounded like a broken record!! It’s so true what you say, I just needed that missing piece to help us and thankfully her teacher was more than happy to step in and take the time to work her out. Our mornings are so much easier and I no longer spend my days with my stomach in knots. Thank you again. xxx

  77. January 16, 2018 / 2:41 pm

    This is beautiful Laura and I don’t think teachers realise just how powerful they can be, i feel similar towards Eva’s teacher now she has moved school and i am so so glad for you all that things have turned a corner x #SharingTheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 5:14 pm

      Ahh thank you, I am just so relieved to have found a teacher who has taken the time to really listen to Eva and work her out. She’s a stubborn little girl and yet has so much to offer, I’m so grateful we have turned a corner! xx

  78. January 16, 2018 / 3:40 pm

    Laura this has got me in tears. An amazing post and I am so pleased Eva is doing well and has such a supportive teacher. xxx #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 5:11 pm

      Thank you lovely, I can’t tell you how proud I am. It’s a huge relief all round! xx

  79. January 16, 2018 / 4:36 pm

    This was an amazing read and it gives me hope that my little boy will find a teacher like Evas’. My little boy struggles at nursery in the mornings at drop off as well and when I see him playing with other children, he gets very anxious and like you, I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t know what to do. It breaks my heart to see my mischievous cheeky boy look scared and apprehensive when I know thats not what he’s like. I know he can be loud and confident. So reading your post has is almost like a boosting pill. I know now that it can change. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 5:10 pm

      Ahh Im so sorry that he struggles Nita but I’m glad I could give you a little boost. Honestly I never thought we would come out the other side of it, but for 8 mornings now she has ran in there with a smile on her face and it’s like I got my baby back. If you have any concerns I would say speak to the nursery staff, I so wish I had pushed earlier. xx

  80. January 16, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    I’m struggling to find the right words for this comment. I don’t think anything I can say would explain how wonderful your post is on so many levels. You’ve tapped into a core emotion I (we) feel as parents and I’m so glad your Daughter appears to be coming out the other side. #TriumphantTales

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 16, 2018 / 5:05 pm

      Ahh Neil, thank you so much. That’s such a kind thing to say and much appreciated. I’m so relieved I got my baby back too. xx

  81. January 16, 2018 / 5:25 pm

    This brought tears to my eyes. My son struggled through his first year of school, and it was heartbreaking. Then last summer we moved countries, and due to the different school systems he had to jump from P1 straight to P3. I was so worried. But he ended up with the most fantastic teacher, who has gone above and beyond to help him settle in. I saw my boy transformed from someone who would regularly plead tummy aches (whether made up or brought on my anxiety, we’ll never know) to not have to go to school, to a boy who is worried about missing a single day of school because he loves it so much. The right teacher at the right time is worth their price in gold.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 17, 2018 / 6:26 pm

      Jenni, Eva was exactly the same. Had tummy aches every day which I attribute to that constant nagging fear and worry. Its an amazing feeling when they turn a corner, I am so grateful to her teacher and so pleased that you too found the right teacher. xx

  82. January 17, 2018 / 3:55 pm

    How beautifully written! And as others have mentioned, I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Parenting is not for the faint of heart! Each and every child is so unique, with qualities and gifts and challenges unlike any other child’s in identical proportions. That teacher is a shining example of those adults who “get it” and who devote their lives to enabling parents to help their children overcome hurdles and to enable children to blossom and succeed. God bless you and your precious family!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 17, 2018 / 5:46 pm

      Thank you so much. You are so right, I think a good teacher really does just get it and, more than anything, they want to see there pupils flourish. It’s crazy how much has changed in a week, Eva is a different child altogether. xx

  83. January 17, 2018 / 9:53 pm

    This is beautiful and really touched me. I am so glad that you have your little girl back x. Thank you so much for linking at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 18, 2018 / 9:07 pm

      Thank you Ali, I am so relieved that we turned that corner. xx

  84. January 18, 2018 / 1:55 pm

    What an amazing teacher. To have been able to find a way to turn everything around in such a short space of time is such an accomplishment for you all. Wow. You must be over the moon. Well done Eva! There’s only onwards and upwards now. Thanks for joining us for the #DreamTeam xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 18, 2018 / 8:56 pm

      Thank you lovely. We are almost two weeks I’m and haven’t had a single tear in all that time. It’s nothing short of a miracle! xx

  85. January 18, 2018 / 6:04 pm

    Oh Laura, you have such a way with words that you actually made me tear up reading this beautiful letter and tribute to Eval’s teacher. You are a wonderful writer and enjoy reading your posts x #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 18, 2018 / 8:46 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Dani. I cried a lot writing this, mainly happy tears thankfully! It has been a huge relief to see my little girl so happy, it’s been a long time coming! xx

  86. January 19, 2018 / 4:49 pm

    It’s wonderful that the teacher has taken the time to come to your rescue. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 19, 2018 / 5:26 pm

      Thanks Helena, it has made such a difference to us! xx

  87. January 20, 2018 / 10:30 am

    Your lucky she has the same teacher – ours change with the years so BB has had 3 different teachers now. Sounds like this one is a good one! #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 21, 2018 / 11:43 am

      Yes ours do too, she will only have this one until July but Im hoping he will set her up ready for year 2! xx

  88. January 20, 2018 / 5:45 pm

    Oh Well done all of you. The teacher did really well in helping her out and I know it must’ve been hard for everyone. Glad she’s making progress. #kcacols

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 21, 2018 / 11:37 am

      Thank you, I’m so relieved that she has made such progress. xx

  89. January 21, 2018 / 4:09 pm

    Oh Laura, I’m so so happy to read this! We have had similar journeys with school and just like you I think we have found ‘the teacher’ who understands, who gets it. I actually feel hopeful for the future now and am only just realising the toll it was taking on me dropping her off sad each day. Thanks for being my fabbu co-host this week. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 21, 2018 / 5:52 pm

      Thanks lovely, I totally agree, I properly broke down writing this as I realised just how much it had taken it’s toll on all of us. It sounds crazy but this has changed our whole lives in so many ways. Finding the right teacher is invaluable isn’t it? xxx

  90. January 21, 2018 / 4:19 pm

    Oh this is a brilliant story and I’m so glad to read that Eva is so much more settled now. You must have been going out of your for 15 months and doing everything you could, I couldn’t imagine what that would have been like. Claire x #BigPinkLink

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 21, 2018 / 5:50 pm

      Thanks Claire, I won’t lie, I think I almost went insane, haha! It’s a huge relief that she has turned a corner. She’s SO happy! xx

  91. January 22, 2018 / 4:43 pm

    Oh Laura, I’m in tears!!! To know that your little one hates leaving the house must have been just utterly heartbreaking. That picture of her first day of the first year is just so sad, you can see her emotions through her puffy eyes and you can tell she really didnt want to go back.
    I am so glad that she has a teacher who has realised that there is more to it and has brought back to life the Eva that you knew was there all the time. I agree that she’ll look back and really appreciate her teachers efforts to make her change her view on school… Some teachers are just born to teach and clearly, your daughter has found someone that will really bring her out and put her on a path to greatness!
    Thank you so much for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I look forward to seeing you back tomorrow and more importantly look forward to more updates on Eva’s schooling!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 22, 2018 / 9:43 pm

      Ahh thank you lovely, I cried myself stupid writing it! I just felt as though every emotion I had felt over the last 15 months came spilling out and Im so glad I shared it as ultimately it has meant a lot to me to have everyones support over this last year. I’ve been told that her teacher has read it, which I’m both pleased and embarrassed about, but he deserves to know just how big a difference he has made to all of us. xx

  92. Louise
    January 30, 2018 / 6:44 am

    Ah what a wonderful post. I am new to this blog but you have just brought a tear to my eye while reading this. I have been/am going through a similar experience with my own daughter. She is 4 and suddenly developed a seoeration anxiety. It started with waking in the night and then the tears at Nursery drop off came. We’ve had a god few months of it now, and plenty of exasperated breakdowns from me in front of the staff (they have been great though) Finally last week she had her first week without crying, clingy but no tears. So I am desperately hoping we are turning a corner now and the sleep will hopefully follow. It is truly heartbreaking when they are sad and you can’t seem to help them.

    I’m glad your little Eva is happy again, long may it continue. X

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:21 am

      Ahh Louise that sounds so like Eva, it’s incredibly hard for us as parents to see our children go through all of that and feel clueless as to how to help them overcome that anxiety. I really hope that you too turn a corner, I think for us it was important to break the routine of the tears and upset, and once we got over that hurdle it was like we finally got our little girl back. Lots of love. xx

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