Why Being Unapologetic Is A Valuable Life Skill

A good apology can work wonders. It shows a willingness to concede, to understand where we’ve made mistakes, and to develop a more appreciative response to those around us, considering their needs as well as our own.

But it’s also true that apologizing for the sake of it, or as part of our default daily living is never a good idea. After all, apologizing is best reserved for when you’re truly sorry, not for when you’re simply living your life or hoping a situation goes away. For example, if someone bumps into you, you may feel inclined to apologize, and that’s a good impulse. But if they’ve bumped into you and aren’t bothered about how you feel, should you really accept responsibility for the incident?

In some cases, not apologizing, or making sure you’re a little less willing to paint yourself as the problem, is a valuable life skill. It boosts self-esteem, allows you to claim the space you deserve, and also helps you better identify when actually, you haven’t been in the wrong at all. While being brittle about such an outcome is never a good idea, you may see some of the following benefits:

Set Healthy Boundaries

In life, what we choose to avoid or prevent is as important as what we choose to pursue. Managing your boundaries is a good way to do this. It may be that a social group you used to connect to has become spiteful and bitter, and you no longer feel served by maintaining those friendships. Doing so unapologetically, knowing you’re doing so for the right reasons and not just because of the popularity of “no contact” choices by those adopting therapeutic terms, can be a relief you didn’t realize you so desired. Healthy boundaries allow you to decline politely, and exercise the power of no when you need to.

Own Your Choices & Actions

Every individual makes mistakes in life. Doing so is human. However, that doesn’t always mean you were wrong to make such a decision. Perhaps you did so with limited information, were unfortunate in the outcome, or later realized your approach was incorrect. Sometimes, an honest accounting of your mistake, forgiving yourself for it, and choosing a better direction can be a helpful approach to take. Everyone loves a redemption story after all, much more than we appreciate those who perfect every choice they make. Does that mean you have to apologize? Perhaps. Does it mean you have to grovel or dismiss yourself? Absolutely not. Keeping that in mind is key.

Advocating For Yourself

Advocating for yourself and your needs is not only a good idea, it’s absolutely necessary for your wellbeing. Perhaps your medical professional isn’t pursuing a line of inquiry you think is important, and as such you seek a second opinion with a women’s health clinic. Or, maybe you’re in a dispute in which you need to put your claim first and foremost, such as a work tribunal. Maybe you just need to ask your neighbor to turn down their music at night before you escalate the issue. There’s nothing unethical about advocating for yourself, and if you’re apologetic about doing so, it can denigrate your proactive approach. Keeping that in mind is key because you are worth advocating for.

With this insight, we hope you can see that being unapologetic can be a valuable life skill, provided it doesn’t make you too defensive.