How does money impact on our relationships?

A recently study by Shepherds Friendly showed that money can really impact on our relationships. I think this is something which we can all relate to on some level, I know that money, or lack of, is one of the biggest issues in my marriage and affects our choices not only as a couple, but as a family.

Money can impact relationships in so many ways, from disagreements about spending, arguments over financial responsibilities, or even just putting a strain on a relationship due to not having the spare cash to spend quality time together. I spoke to a group of parent bloggers to find the ways in which money impacted on their relationships, and the results were so interesting.

Money has really impacted on our relationship, I am so careful and he is so careless so it has caused many arguments. Finding a middle ground has proved very tough, managing money is such an intrinsic part of life. – Becky

Whilst money doesn’t buy happiness it certainly helps avoid stress and nearly all of our arguments are about money in that he isn’t as sensible with his as he should be. Life would be a whole lot easier if he was more in control of his finances! – Lucy

When I left full time work to be a Mum I found it so hard to then be given a ‘wage’ by my husband. I felt guilty that he was giving me what he’d worked for and there were a few arguments because we’d never shared our money before, we’d always had separate bank accounts. I do prefer feeling in control of my own money though and contributing to our household. – Emma 

My husband and I have very different money values and behaviours. He is more of a planner and I’m more spontaneous with money. This has caused problems in how we value money but now we are aware of it, it’s easier to understand why he just wants to save and I want to spend! – Catherine 

Money is always one of the bigger conversations we have as a couple. I think the best way to stop it becoming a problem is to be honest and open with spending habits. – Ayse 

I think money does cause arguments in every relationship! I am naturally quite thrifty and cheap while my husband is more spendthrift, and happy to pay for convenience. It can be difficult sometimes to balance the two points of views and in reality I think it is healthier to be something in the middle. All the money we earn is ours so we don’t really differentiate who spends what on what and that works for us. – Irina 

I have taken over control of our finances so we now have savings and money to spend each month, instead of no idea where our money goes. It does stress me out though and we discuss it a lot (or I moan at him a lot) as I find it stressful having to manage it all myself and seeming to be the only person worrying about it. – Victoria 

I think it’s actually quite reassuring to hear that many couples argue about money. My husband and I are quite fortunate that, when it comes to money, we do have similar values. We both accepted that with me staying at home to be with the children we would need to make sacrifices, and we tell ourselves that one day we will have much more money when the children are grown!

You can read more about the survey from Shepherds Friendly here. 

 

** This is a collaborative post **

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29 Comments

  1. February 27, 2018 / 10:11 pm

    Money definitely plays a key role in relationships. Being young and not completely financially independent, I don’t think about it often but this post brought up really interesting points!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:27 pm

      It really does, and it can have some really negative connotations too! xx

  2. Jennifer
    February 28, 2018 / 3:00 am

    Ah! They say that so many fights happen over money. It’s good to talk about such things! 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:26 pm

      I agree, it’s not a surprise that it can impact so much on relationships is it? xx

  3. February 28, 2018 / 11:33 am

    Money can definitely put strains on relationships. I know I like to travel with people who stick to a budget since that’s how I have to be. I can’t just spend and some people just don’t get that.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:19 pm

      Yes! Travelling with others who have no control of their budget is really hard work! xx

  4. February 28, 2018 / 12:08 pm

    Like you, I’m fortunate that my husband and I have similar views on money too. It makes living together and raising children a lot easier when we’re both on the same page 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:17 pm

      Absolutely! I can’t imagine how it would work if we had differing views! xx

  5. Kristine Nicole Alessandra
    February 28, 2018 / 8:55 pm

    Although love and respect should always be present in a relationship, reality dictates that finances are a major factor that can make or break a relationship. My ex-husband was not very wise with his money which was always the reason for our arguments. When the marriage broke up, I was relieved that I no longer had to cover for his debts! Thankfully, I met a more mature, level headed, loving man. I am more comfortable sharing information about my salary and the money I earn from side hustles.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:14 pm

      Yes!! Exactly the same here, I love that my second husband and I are on the same wave length about saving and being sensible. xx

  6. February 28, 2018 / 9:38 pm

    Money definitely can affect a relationship, when you are both either wanting to go on a trip but can’t afford it or someone buys some expense for themselves but doesn’t tell the other and it could have helped out to pay a bill. I’m really lucky my husband and I agree on money, and really try to budget and if we really can’t afford something then we know we just werent meant to have it

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:14 pm

      Us too, we are big believers in saving to buy something. I think it’s just about being sensible and realistic too! xx

  7. February 28, 2018 / 9:53 pm

    Totally agree with your post, if there is an imbalance of money in any of the parts of the relationship that can actually affect it! Specially when one of the parts really saves and the other doesn’t, you really have to talk with each other about this issues!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:13 pm

      Yes, I think that must be a real bone of contention when you have different saving habits! xx

  8. bryanna skye
    March 1, 2018 / 8:45 am

    so true — while my partner and I don’t argue over it, I know I definitely have less of it and sometimes am very aware of that fact. luckily, he pays a larger chunk of our bills as he knows this!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:11 pm

      Yes us too! I’m so grateful it isn’t an issue between us but it could be for many couples! xx

  9. March 1, 2018 / 10:25 am

    Money can defiantly cause issues in a relationship but I’m amazed at how many people in that study wouldn’t tell their partner how much they earn, if you can’t trust them with something like that what kind of relationship do you have?!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 8:09 pm

      I know! I found it really quite surprising! xx

  10. March 1, 2018 / 2:34 pm

    money to a large extent holds the capacity to build and destroy many young relationships, especially if one out of two partners has less but it is most preferable that there is understanding,when there is understanding there is no conflict.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 7:59 pm

      I totally agree. It can put a real strain on relationships! xx

  11. March 1, 2018 / 4:28 pm

    This infographic is so informative and interesting! I’m lucky to be in a relationship where money isn’t really a problem between us – we share our earnings and we both have similar spending habits so there’s never usually any quarrels about money in our household.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 7:54 pm

      That’s great Bethany! My husband and I are the same, we have very similar values about money and savings. xx

  12. March 1, 2018 / 4:30 pm

    Money can certainly put a strain on a relationship. I think it’s important to be open and honest about money issues.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 1, 2018 / 7:54 pm

      I totally agree Mellissa, being open is a great starting point! xx

  13. March 1, 2018 / 8:04 pm

    Money is definitely a talking point in most relationships I think including mine. Me and my husband often talk about money (or the lack off lol) and it can cause arguments but we try out best not to let it get to us too much.

  14. March 1, 2018 / 9:45 pm

    Money could draw issues in a relationship, especially if the couple have different values of maintaining their finance. I’m fortunate that hubby and I always open about money and try to balance what we earn and what we spend.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 2, 2018 / 12:59 pm

      Yes us too, it must be very difficult when couples clash over money! xx

  15. March 3, 2018 / 8:23 pm

    Dealing with money generally or money issues can be a real challenge when it comes to relationships. I think everyone has said something here that a lot of people can relate to, even me

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      March 4, 2018 / 4:39 pm

      Yes definitely, money can really cause issues between the happiest couples! xx

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