How to Deal with Your Child Going to College
No parent is ever really prepared for the day their child flees the nest. Although you may have mentally been prepping yourself for months or even years, the moment you part ways comes with a wave of emotions. While you may be thrilled for all the great things that lie ahead, it’s also natural for parents to feel sad and even depressed that their baby is officially a grown-up. If you’re dealing with mixed feelings or anxiety about sending your child to college, here are some ways to make the change easier.
Don’t Label Your Feelings Negatively
You may feel guilty when feelings of sadness, worry or grief start to emerge as you think of your freshman’s departure. Don’t allow yourself to get caught in the cycle of labeling and attaching yourself to these emotions. They will come and go, and they are neither good nor bad. Emotions simply are what they are. Listen to what you’re feeling, take time to process it, and know that you can still move forward even if you’re sad or anxious.
If you are struggling to feel anything but sadness and despair at the thought of your child moving out, you may need to speak with a professional. Therapists are there to listen with a non-judgmental, unbiased ear. This can be especially useful when you are coping with emotions your partner or family members may not share or understand.
Don’t Avoid Thinking About It
Living in denial doesn’t change reality. You won’t hurt less when your child leaves, but you will feel more capable of handling their departure and you will have some tips for stress management on deck, if you are comfortable with the idea. Acceptance is crucial to surviving change. There are different ways to go about it, and it will likely happen in gradual stages than all at once. It’s okay to struggle, but you should keep spending time with your thoughts and learning to live with them.
Mindfulness meditation, journaling and yoga are excellent practices for coming to terms with your thoughts and finding peace amidst distress. You can also confide your concerns to your loved ones, but avoid sharing them with your child. You can tell them that you’ll miss them, but you should avoid making them feel guilty for leaving.
Get Involved
Parents don’t have to be entirely hands-off just because their children are in college. There are many ways you can still be a part of your child’s life after they move out. For many parents, the biggest worry they have is that they’ll grow apart and lose their relationship. This fear leads to ongoing anxiety and dread about the day your child moves out. Rather than thinking about how this could happen, focus on ways you can be a part of this exciting time in their life.
If you want to help them financially, you can look into applying for a low-rate Private Parent Loan. You can help your child save on college tuition while teaching them important financial smarts for the future. You can also go shopping for their dorm together, discuss what classes they’ll be taking and even share memories from your own college days. You can also make plans to visit or video chat regularly after they’ve moved out; having something to look forward to can help ease the fear of them leaving.
