4 Tips for Newly Single Moms to Thrive
Parenting is hard whether you have a partner or not. Solo parenting presents new sets of challenges that can be detrimental to your success if you don’t learn how to navigate them. Treading lightly and easing your way into being a single mom isn’t always an option. Life gets thrown at you fast and you have to learn how to take things with stride, or you’ll drown trying.
Permission To Grieve
First, you must permit yourself to grieve. Grieve anything you want. Grieve parting from your partner or mourn the alone time to binge your favorite shows. Whatever you are sad about losing or not having enough time for, it’s OK to be sad about it. Don’t allow yourself to get consumed by your sadness, though. Look for alternate ways to find alone time in the midst of solo parenting. Give your sorrow the time it deserves, and then move forward.
You are a mom. That in itself is a superpower. The sadness will pass or you will learn to accept it, but it’s part of your growing process. Identify the change and embrace your new route in life. It takes time to adjust. The overwhelming fears and stress you are experiencing are completely normal and understandable. You know what, though? You got this.
Set New Routines
New routines are essential for single moms. You will wear a few different hats while juggling home life with work and appointments. Set new schedules for yourself and your child pertaining to your daily routines and the tasks you need to accomplish. Find creative ways to cook for yourself to cut down on time. Meal prep if necessary.
Make time for yourself if you can. Self-care is vital to your mental health and overall well-being. At first, it’s going to seem challenging just to get things done that are necessary. As you progress in finding your balance as a single parent, you can carve out time for something that will make you feel more fulfilled. Your children will benefit from you being happier, so do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Financial Stability
Becoming financially stable as a single parent can be one of the most challenging tasks. You could be struggling with court costs regarding custody or divorce, unpaid bills, insurance, etc. The list seems endless at times. There are so many directions you can be pulled in that make you feel like you’re battling waves and struggling to find air. There are ways you can take control of your finances and work toward being back on top of them.
Out of all the living arrangements in the U.S., 80% of 11 million single-parent households are single-moms. Time management is essential in managing your finances because you must stay on top. Finding the time to balance your budget and organize the bills can take away from time spent with your child. Create a budget a stick to it.
Put bills on autopay as much as you can to save time. Get help with tax breaks and government assistance if needed. Take this opportunity to tell your children no when they want something unreasonable. Teach them how to save for things and work for what they want. This will make them value what they work for a little more than if you bought it for them.
Support System
If you are independent, go ahead and face that you’re going to need help. You cannot do this alone if you are working and your children are young. Just accept it now so you can move on. It’s OK to need help, and you shouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt about it. Find your support system. Use social apps to find other single moms to connect with or join a support group. You can also utilize the resources available within your community for assistance. Nurture your relationships with friends and family members that want to help and support you. Don’t shut them out. Let them be there for you when you need them.
Odds are, other single moms out there feel the same way you are feeling right now. They might not want to ask for help either. Consider trading times with them that will work for both of you. Offer to have potlucks that will save everyone time and money by not having to create and cook a full meal. Take turns babysitting or carpooling for school and extracurricular activities. Help each other, so it doesn’t seem like a burden on either side. Get organized and be flexible with each other’s time. You might even develop a beautiful new friendship.
Thrive
Being a single mom can be daunting. You are in charge of another human being and all of their needs. While terrifying, it can also be the most gratifying and rewarding part of your life. You can do this, and you have a whole army of supporters behind you. You are strong and capable. You are not the first person that has had to face these challenges alone, and you won’t be the last. You will not fail. You will thrive.
