My children are just as annoying as yours!

Ask anyone who knows me, or those of you who follow my blog, and they will tell you that I am the proudest Mummy to five very special children. You only need to scroll back through my blog to see that it is filled with moments we have shared together, my social media over-run with photos depicting snapshots of our lives, moments of our day, the good times and the bad. And I have always prided myself on sharing an honest account of our lives, never glossing over the hard times, never claiming that this parenting lark is easy, making no secret of the fact that we have our struggles, just as much as the next person. And so last night, when I posted this photo on Instagram, of my children looking adorable on the beach, I could well have captioned it differently.

Perhaps I could have written that we had enjoyed a beautiful day in the sunshine, filled with laughter and fun, making memories to treasure. Maybe I could have shared how we enjoyed an ice cream afterwards, a special moment sat on a picnic bench overlooking the sand, breathing in the sea air, the faint smell of fish and chips from the pier, the promise of blue skies and sunshine as the whispers of Spring beckoned.

I could have told you that afterwards, when the children fell asleep in the car on the drive home, their little cheeks flushed from the fresh air, that I felt as though my heart would burst, that there was no greater sound than their snuffly little sighs, no better feeling than knowing that I was their Mummy.

I could have wrote that, but I’d be lying.

The truth is, it was freezing cold, unbearably cold in fact, and the children screamed from start to finish because the wind blew sand into their eyes, in their mouths and up their noses. Megan lay on the floor and sobbed because I forgot to pack the bucket and spades, Harry bust his lip against Eva’s head and Eva cried and told him, “You’re not my best friend!”, which just made Harry cry even harder. They all cried hysterically until I caved in and bought them all an ice cream, purely to shut them up, which all three of them immediately slopped down their freshly washed coats, screaming hysterically that they wanted another. Eventually I dragged them back to the car like a woman possessed, ranting under my breath how this wasn’t fun for anyone, wondering why I had even bothered, mumbling to myself how we could all have stayed at home in the warmth, the three of them arguing over who got to hold the iPad whilst they watched other children opening Kinder Eggs on YouTube.

I had driven home, tears stinging my eyes, wondering why they find it so difficult to just behave at the moment, feeling nothing but relief when they finally fell asleep, dreading the moment when they woke and the screaming started all over again.

And yet I didn’t write either of those things; too mentally drained to rehash the dramas of the day, too tired to tap out more than a few words, too fed up to write anything other than a vague implication that our day had not gone to plan.

“A windy but Sunny day at the beach! You’d be forgiven for thinking that this is an idyllic scene of calm and tranquillity, believe me when I say – it wasn’t! I’ve got a feeling that the next six days of half term are going to drag!”

Perfectly reasonable, right? And so when the following message landed in my in-box, berating me for sharing this post, I was shocked to say the least.

“I was surprised by your post on Instagram this evening. You would think that someone like you would be more grateful for your children.”

And for a moment, I felt as though the wind had been knocked right out of me, the shock and hurt that someone would not only take the time to message me and say such a thing, but go to the lengths of creating what appeared to be a fake Facebook account to do so.

And sitting there, reading back over my caption, which given the truth was really quite tame, I fast went from indignant to angry.

Let me tell you that “someone like me” may well be the proudest Mummy in all the world. Even as the years pass, I still feel incredibly grateful that we have been blessed with four healthy children in our arms. Never for one moment do I take that for granted, nor forget just how unbearably painful our journey was to have them. There are moments when I still have to pinch myself that these children are really mine to keep, never forgetting the fifteen babies that we lost, nor the son who should be here now, ten years old and adding to the chaos. I still get a lump in my throat when I say the words, “My children.”, unable to believe just how lucky we have been, and the days when I watch them at a distance, in complete awe of their beauty, their crazy characters, the bond they all share, I thank God that miracles do happen.

And yet the truth is this. “Someone like me” still has days when I struggle to like my children very much at all. As much as I love them, and I can’t even begin to tell you just how much, the days when they whinge from morning ’til night, when they trash my home, hit, kick and scream at each other, when they embarrass me in public, terrorise me in the supermarket, refuse to eat a dinner I have spent hours slaving over, I’ll be honest, I find it hard to come up with even one redeeming quality.

“Someone like me” still has days when I’m tired, more tired than I ever thought possible, dealing with all of my health issues, in more pain than you could ever imagine, feeing completely overwhelmed when I look around at the state of the house, the mountain of washing, the long list of jobs that I never get round to, the constant demands and responsibilities, and I ask myself why I ever thought that this was a good idea? I listen to myself screeching at the kids like a deranged banshee, my head throbbing, just counting down the minutes until bedtime, and it feels nothing like I thought it would do. Someone like me still has days when I am not the mother that I thought I would be, nor the mother that I had hoped to be, and nor is this how I imagined it would feel when all of my dreams came true.

Every day I see other people referring to their children on social media as d*cks and n*bs, not something that I would ever write personally but you know what, I’ve probably said it in my head on more than one occassion. And then here’s me, literally just implying that my children have been hard work that day, no reference whatsoever to the male anatomy, and all of a sudden that’s a problem? And why is that? Because I struggled more than some to have my children? Because I lost so many babies? Because my son died? Because I should be more grateful than anyone else?

Yes my children are so wanted, so treasured and so utterly precious, but let me tell you this – despite everything we went through to get them, my children are just as annoying as yours.

For a long time I was afraid to admit that to myself, let alone anyone else, so worried that if I moaned about being tired or fed up, or just wanting a few moments peace and quiet, that those who were struggling to conceive, or bereaved parents whose grief was still so raw, would deem me ungrateful. At one, two, three o’clock in the morning, when I wanted to cry through exhaustion, the babies screaming simultaneously, pregnant already with our fifth, I knew that I was incredibly lucky, that I had more than some couples could ever hope for, and I tried so hard to remind myself of that, telling myself that I should be grateful for every second of my children, the good and the bad.

And yet the truth is, you find me a parent on this planet who hasn’t felt that way once in a while, or even every day for a while; you find me one parent who isn’t tired or fed up or a little bit miserable because their kids are going through a difficult patch, wont sleep, aren’t behaving, are literally driving you round the bend; find me just one parent who hasn’t felt that way and I’ll show you a liar.

Because as much as my children are wanted, as most children undoubtedly are, they are no different to any other child out there. And just because we have been through more than some people ever go through to get them, that doesn’t make us different from any other parents either. The parents who tried for countless years to conceive their babies, the parents who went through gruelling cycles of IVF, the parents who adopted, who miscarried, endured stillbirths, whose children died in devastating and tragic circumstances, we are all of us human.

And our children are just as annoying as yours.

Dear Bear and Beany

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  1. February 14, 2017 / 8:26 pm

    Firstly I cannot believe that someone would take the trouble to send you that message, secondly I can’t believe that this person would say this about you, thirdly I can’t believe that this person is so naive to think that you are not allowed to think this about your children. Regardless of how you became a parent, the journey that got you to parenthood, its hard work. In fact its more than handwork, its relentless, it mentally draining, its exhausting! This is the most honest and refreshing post I’ve read in a long time. I’m sorry that some narrow minded person, sent you that message. But I am not sorry that you wrote this post, it makes me feel better as a mum to know that I am not the only one who feels like this most days. xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 14, 2017 / 9:33 pm

      Thank you so much Laura, you’re so lovely and supportive. It’s crazy isn’t it? Even if you read it and thought, wow she sounds ungrateful, just remove me from your Instagram? Delete me off your feed? Don’t head over to facebook, create a fake account, hunt me down and message me like a complete and utter coward!! It’s insane!! I think every parent has bad days, it’s all about whether or not we choose to share that and I think this is why it is so important that we do! xxx

      • February 21, 2017 / 4:27 pm

        I totally agree! They really went out of their way to send you this spiteful message. I’m still angry about it, but in their face because you got blog of the day 🙂 Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

  2. February 14, 2017 / 8:45 pm

    I can’t say anything more than you or Laura above have said about this – but I just wanted to say well done for sharing this post, for saying all of this so eloquently (my own response to whoever sent you this message would have started and ended in F…) and for just having the guts to stand up and call someone out on their dickery.

    How bloody RUDE is that person, how unnecessary was that message and how naive are they to think that your journey to motherhood and experiences along the way have given you some sort of superpower that takes away any ounce of normal human emotion you might have after a difficult day of parenting xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 14, 2017 / 9:29 pm

      Thank you Hayley, I really appreciate that. That’s exactly it isn’t it? I am SO grateful for my family but I am still human, I still get tired and drained and fed up from time to time. It’s crazy because I didn’t even say anything out of the ordinary, my social media is filled with people moaning about half term, so in that way it feels a little more personal somehow. Thank you for your comment though, I’m so glad I’m not alone in my thoughts! xxx

  3. February 14, 2017 / 8:46 pm

    It always amazes me that there are some people who feel worked up enough to write. About something that a) isn’t their business, b) is what all parents go through and c) would probably moan at anyone who has seemingly perfect children and lives. Astounding!

    • Laura Dove
      February 14, 2017 / 9:26 pm

      I agree Emma! I have never, EVER been so angry or annoyed by something that I have felt the need to send a message like that, I strongly suspect that it’s from someone I know, which is really sad actually. xxx

  4. February 14, 2017 / 9:00 pm

    I think Laura said it all but I am horrified that someone felt it was ok to say that to you. Of course your kids are going to be annoying sometimes! As you’ve said, we all have moments, days, even weeks where everything feels so bloody hard and relentless and exhausting. Parenting is not easy, no matter how you became a parent. It doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate what you have or that you love your kids any less! Argh I am so cross at the self righteous idiot who wrote that to you.

    • Laura Dove
      February 14, 2017 / 9:25 pm

      Thank you Ellen, I appreciate your crossness! Parenting is the hardest job in the world and I think it would be wrong of us to pretend otherwise. I know that as a blogger, I almost feel a “duty” to share the good, the bad and the ugly, because I would hate for someone to read an edited version of my life and wonder why they didn’t feel the same. xxx

  5. February 14, 2017 / 9:05 pm

    Wow! Some people have a nerve. I have ranted on Facebook over the past couple of days about many things. Mainly how annoying my 10 year old is right now. Why can’t we post honest posts. We are all human after all. Sarah x

    • Laura Dove
      February 14, 2017 / 9:16 pm

      Thank you Sarah, it’s good to know that others feel the same way. I think it’s actually very unhealthy for us to only share the good days. As parents we all need to know that we are in this together and that it’s not only us that feels this way! xxx

  6. February 14, 2017 / 9:19 pm

    I love this post! There is so much fakery around on social media – I connect far more with those who are honest about the hard days and still adore their children despite the challenges. It’s what I try and do myself, to help others who feel just like me – overwhelmed, proud, angry, loving, sad, in awe, tired and joyous, sometimes all at the same time! – on this crazy journey called motherhood. Keep doing what you’re doing, loving fiercely and telling your story.

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 5:06 pm

      Yes! Exactly that! I follow blogs where the children are always pristine and the photos are so perfectly posed, and life is just so wonderful every single day, and I don’t believe a word of it. I would much rather read an honest account of parenting and be able to relate to it, and actually just feel a little less isolated and a lot more normal! xx

  7. Rose Sidwell
    February 14, 2017 / 9:21 pm

    It takes a brave mother to admit that sometimes they don’t like their kids that much! I think every parent can relate to this post. My husband and I often have days with our 2.5 year old and 7 month old where we wonder why we bothered leaving the house (or getting out of bed!)
    Parents are bombarded with idealistic social media that portrays parenthood as a walk in the park when most of the time it is really bloody difficult! Any negativity you receive for being open about the struggles of raising kids is ridiculous!

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 5:05 pm

      Thank you Rose. We feel the same, you come up with all of these “fun” ideas for things to do with the kids, and then when it comes to it, nobody is having fun, least of all you!! I think there are so many people who only share one aspect of their lives and for me, that’s not how it should be. I would hate for someone to read my blog and feel isolated in the way that they felt, I would much rather be honest and have others relate to it and know that actually, we are all in this together. Parenting is such hard work, however rewarding it may be! xxx

  8. Char
    February 14, 2017 / 9:37 pm

    I moan about my 6 month old sometimes who is still up every hour or two breastfeeding every single night and in between night feeds I either have bad dreams or insomnia from ptsd… I’m totally exhausted but it doesn’t mean I don’t love him and know that I’m lucky to have him. I love him to pieces. You probably see my pushing his pram past your house twice a day, I live on the next street and a 5 minute walk around the block and he’s fast asleep in the day…tempted to take his pram to bed sometimes lol. Anyway moan all you like. Kids are hard work however much we love them xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 5:00 pm

      Oh you’re local? That’s lovely, I always get excited when local people read my blog! I think any sleep deprived parent on the planet has moaned about their child at some point, if not on a daily basis, especially during that first year. Just because a child is loved and wanted doesn’t mean that they aren’t hard work. Thank you for your lovely comment. xxx

      • Char
        February 15, 2017 / 7:59 pm

        Yes my 6 year old goes to the same school as your little girl. I didn’t know you lived so close when I started reading your blog until I saw you take your children to the nursery last year and recognised your little girls. My baby got his first tooth today after months of teething! Maybe he will sleep better tonight but I’m not getting my hopes up! X

        • Laura Dove
          February 17, 2017 / 1:44 pm

          Ahh what year is your child in then? Year 1 or 2? I’m sure you must see my kids screaming every morning then, I doubt anyone would miss that drama! Oh I hope that your baby sleeps now the first tooth is through! xx

  9. February 14, 2017 / 9:53 pm

    Well said. I am forever telling people that losing my second baby has not made me a perfect parent to my other children. I know how lucky I am to have two beautiful, healthy children and yes, I love them to the moon and back but sometimes they irritate the hell out of me. The grief and suffering I have been through due to the loss of my daughter doesn’t make the difficult times with my two surviving children any easier. I am just like any other parent. So are you. So the person who made the, ‘someone like you’ comment obviously hasn’t been in your shoes and therefore has no right to judge. I’m sorry to hear about your losses and am sending you big hugs and empathy xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:58 pm

      Thank you Aimee. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter too, how devastating that must have been for you. I actually think that, however grateful we are as bereaved parents, we are also dealing with so much more than some others. I have days where the last thing I feel like doing is entertaining the children, when my heart aches for Joseph and I just want to climb into bed and have a good cry, but I don’t because I know that my children need me to carry on as normal and go about our daily routine. It’s no wonder we have bad days, anyone in our shoes would, and when the children are playing up or the house is a mess, or there’s a hundred and one things to do, it’s over whelming, and it would be for anyone. Thank you for understanding. Lots of love to you. xxx

  10. February 14, 2017 / 10:07 pm

    I will never in my life understand someone who’s goes out of their way to be mean to another person, top upset them when staying quiet and saying nothing would have been by far the easier and kinder option. The only thing I can think about this is that this person must have been a troll merely looking for a reaction because any normal person who follows your blog or on instagram would be able to see that 1. You are so grateful for your children and such a proud Mummy no one could ever doubt it and 2. That you have been through so much and you are still dealing with so much that the fact that you still made the effort to get them all in the car and take them all down to the beach in February is a bloody miracle in itself and you should be applauded for trying so hard and being such a great Mum rather than knocked down for not loving every single second of Motherhood. I totally know where you’re coming from and no I’m not grateful for my kids every single second of every single day either! I always love them no matter what of course, but it’s hard to feel grateful on the days when they seem to be hell bent on trampling all over my best efforts to do nice things. One bad day doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for everything you have. I love your response, this is such a great post and I’m so glad you wrote it xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:56 pm

      Aww Louise, I bloody love you! You are so right, and actually I never really looked at it like that. When I was dragging them back to the car and having a little cry on the drive home, I felt like I was failing as a parent. But you’re so right, the fact that I even attempted to get them all up to the beach and do something nice with them speaks volumes. I really needed to be reminded of that. I don’t think that any parent on the planet can be grateful when their children are waking up every hour through the night, or trashing their home or kicking off in public, nobody can honestly say that in those moments they are thinking wow, I just love being a parent right now!! For the most part I am so grateful, and I will never forget how lucky we have been, but I would be lying if I said I enjoyed every moment of being a parent because in truth, some parts are just such hard work! Thank you again. xxxxx

  11. Michele
    February 14, 2017 / 10:12 pm

    Wow Laura, I’m shocked that somebody would be so nasty to send a message like that. I love your honest posts and think you are an amazing person. Not just an amazing mummy but an amazing person in your own right with everything you’ve been through and are still going through with your health problems. My guess is it was sent by somebody who is jealous of you and your lovely family.

    And on a separate note, roll on next Monday when the kids are back at school, mine are doing my head in 😜

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:52 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Michele, you’re so kind. I always think if my blog can help someone else, then it’s worth me writing. Maybe not everyone will like what I have to say, but if it were me, I’d just keep on scrolling!! Good luck surviving the rest of the week, we can do this! xxx

  12. February 14, 2017 / 10:16 pm

    I am still so shocked by what some people will do on the internet. I feel quite sorry for them really. To have the time to follow a blog they may not even like, then create fake accounts and take the time to compose a disgraceful message to a person they don’t know… there are little words! Maybe we could make a blogger outreach programme and suggest suitable hobbies for people like this?!
    You are an amazing Mum plus blogger and hey, we all have crappy days because yep we are all human!! Big hugs xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:50 pm

      Haha thank you Emma, I love the idea of a blogger outreach programme! I will never understand trolls either, I strongly suspect that this was someone I know which is why they felt the need for an anonymous post. Who knows, I will continue to share my crappy days, and my happy days, that’s what its all about isn’t it? xxx

  13. February 14, 2017 / 10:32 pm

    Good for you for writing a great comeback although it’s sad that it’s an ill-thought comment that spurred it. People are just ARGH when they say sh*t like that!! Hope you have a lovely half term somehow 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:48 pm

      Thank you Vicki. Today has been better, I ran them ragged at soft play and tomorrow they are going to their Grandparents so I can enjoy some quality (quiet) time with my eldest. Just what I need before a trip to the zoo at the weekend….!! xx

  14. Hazel Anderson
    February 15, 2017 / 1:56 am

    I cannot believe someone had the nerve to send that to you. I remember when my oldest was about 3 weeks old and I was in the grips of PND and thinking what have I done. I always felt bad for thinkimg that as we had tried for 3 years to get pregnant. But guess what I didn’t love my son any less I was just totally over whelmed. 15 years on from then with 3 kids I do still think what have I done but know that when they go away to see Dad I’ll remember exactly why we had 3 kids.

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:47 pm

      I think we all go through that stage, when your body is in shock and you’ve not slept in weeks, the panic sets in! I developed severe PND after Eva because I just couldn’t get my head around the fact that I was still so depressed when all of my dreams had come true in having her. I beat myself up about that for a long time. Having a bad day doesn’t make you ungrateful though, it simply makes you human. xxx

  15. February 15, 2017 / 2:25 am

    I can’t believe that people think it’s ok to make these kinds of comments. Why do they think that just because you are kind enough to share the stories of your beautiful family, that makes you fair game for any negative, vicious creatires to vent their vindictive comments towards? Trolls is a good word for them. I’m so sorry this happened to you Laura, you don’t deserve it or need it, but you’ve come back swinging so good for you xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:46 pm

      Thank you so much. I think it’s all part and parcel of blogging isn’t it, there are some really mean people out there on the internet, clearly with nothing better to do. I have been so touched by so many lovely messages and comments, I would never be anything other than honest about how hard parenting is and I wont let one cowardly comment change me! xx

  16. February 15, 2017 / 9:34 am

    Some people just dont like honesty. I smiled at your post because it reminds me that our family is normal. I love my kids but life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:43 pm

      Thank you Tanya. It’s funny isn’t it how some people would rather see a fake account of parenting than the bare truth. I would rather see a real mix of good and bad to know that it’s not just me who struggles, but that there are still lovely moments too! xx

  17. February 15, 2017 / 9:46 am

    That is shocking that someone would comment on a picture like that! I know these ‘trolls’ are out there and love to express themselves in awful ways to people just being honest about how tough things can be at times. So well done for shouting out about it and putting them to shame! #bestandworst

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:42 pm

      Thank you. I wasn’t going to rise to it but it’s a real bug bear of mine that people think because of what we went through, I shouldn’t ever moan about how hard it is to be a parent. I try VERY hard to appreciate every moment, but we are still only human, it would be impossible not to have bad days, especially living with my four! xx

  18. February 15, 2017 / 10:04 am

    Don’t listen to anyone, it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job and I absolutely love all of your photos.

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:41 pm

      Thank you Tessa, that’s so lovely of you. xx

  19. Laura Beresford
    February 15, 2017 / 10:18 am

    Children are hard work. The responsibility is sometimes overwhelming. But watching them become little annoying people in their own right is the whole point of it all! Don’t listen to trolls: ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ there is enough anger and hatred in the world, we should fill it with love and support instead #BestandWorst

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:40 pm

      I agree Laura, if you don’t like what I share, just keep on scrolling! I’m sure they will have read this, funny how they have no come back! xx

  20. February 15, 2017 / 11:33 am

    no wonder you were angry. what a ridiculous comment. every parent has ups and downs and its ok to be honest. we are all mumming it together. such an unnecessary message to send. and like you say, to go to the effort of setting up a fake account. someone clearly has too much time on their hands.
    your doing a fab job Laura and your photos are always gorgeous 🙂 x

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:40 pm

      Thank you Emma, you’re so lovely. I think that’s what offended me the most, that someone was so enraged by my comment (which I still stand by the fact wasn’t even bad!) that they made a fake account to message me! So odd! xx

  21. February 15, 2017 / 11:50 am

    Well said. I still can’t get over the fact someone took the time to write an email about it. The truth is though that you can’t win with people like that, I read earlier someone who had received an email saying that they made their life too perfect. Too perfect, too honest… Too daft to be so critical of one picture! Xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:38 pm

      Yep, you really can’t win. I have seen people criticise those who are very negative about parenting, the bloggers who get their laughs from slating their kids and moaning about how annoying they are, and then the opposite scale where people are moaning that nobodies life is THAT perfect! You just have to do what’s right for you, and for me that’s being honest about the good and the bad! xx

  22. February 15, 2017 / 1:07 pm

    I never understand trolls they must have nothing better to do. I think its important to share all sides of parenting from the good to the bad. It doesn’t mean your not thankful for your kids just honest about how parenting really is.

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:36 pm

      Exactly Joanne, I think if you’re going to share your life through your blog, you should share all parts of it, not just the good days! xx

  23. February 15, 2017 / 1:55 pm

    Wow, I actually cannot believe that someone would message you with that. How incredibly rude and thoughtless!

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:35 pm

      Thank you Lyndsey, nowt as queer as folk! xx

  24. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    February 15, 2017 / 2:18 pm

    I just cannot understand what would possess someone to go to those lengths to say that to you. Anyone who is a parent knows that even the easiest of children are never easy all the time. And I think it does others a disservice to pretend parenting is all sweetness and light every moment of every day – it’s a hard slog a lot of the time and it’s completely normal to feel like that. Real life is full of ups and downs and whatever your journey to becoming a mum, I think it’s important to be honest about that.

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:35 pm

      Thanks Katy. I completely agree. I would hate to paint a picture of a perfect life and have other parents read it and feel inadequate because they didn’t feel the same way. Parenting IS hard work, there’s no denying it, and I think sharing all aspects of it – the good and the bad days – is so important! And in all honesty, I’d much rather read a blog where someone is being honest and I can relate to what they are going through! xx

  25. February 15, 2017 / 3:35 pm

    What a honest post, written so eloquently. You have written just how life is sometimes and I absolutely love the photographs you have taken. I have one 4 year old Daughter and perhaps I only take photos of her when she is all smiles, but seeing your photos maybe I will start to take some more ‘real’ ones x

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:34 pm

      Thank you Joanne. I used to be the same, sharing only our happiest photos when life was seemingly perfect. I soon realised, especially four children, that it doesn’t work like that and now I love the “out takes”, the ones where the kids are pulling silly faces or sulking or darting off in different directions. Those are the photos that always make me smile! xx

  26. February 15, 2017 / 4:25 pm

    I am sorry to read that someone has done this to upset you 🙁 You are a great mum and have such a beautiful family.

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 4:31 pm

      Thank you so much, much appreciated. xxx

  27. February 15, 2017 / 4:40 pm

    Urgh there really are some disgraceful specimens out there aren’t there? Although I hate the fact you’ve had to write this post I have to say WELL SAID MISSUS! I think I can confidently say the majority of parents reading this will join me in giving a collective two fingers up to whatever sad moron felt the need to make this ridiculous, ignorant comment. Anyone who regularly reads your blog will know you adore your children. x

  28. February 15, 2017 / 4:55 pm

    People say these ignorant things because they want us to fit in with their narrative. They want us to be a Facebook post about an angelic mum who “overcame” and gives them a warm glow. I’ve come to the conclusion they don’t see us or our kids as people, and selfishly only want to empathise or sympathise to give themselves an indulgent glow.
    Nevertheless it hurts so badly when the comments come up, and I end up putting huge pressure on myself to be “perfect” because “people like me” should be perfect for other people.

    • Laura Dove
      February 15, 2017 / 5:02 pm

      That is so true! I think that’s half the problem, and I think to some extent there are a lot of mummy bloggers who do try to portray the perfect life when I’d bet my life on the fact that they have bad days too! I would hate for someone to read my blog and feel inadequate should I share post after post of how perfect our lives or, or look through my photos and wonder where they are going wrong. I try to share all sides of parenting, the good and the bad, and if someone doesn’t like that then they can just keep on scrolling! xxx

  29. February 15, 2017 / 5:09 pm

    I’m sorry that you have even had to write this post Laura ! I for one find it refreshing that lots of Mama’s are sharing their struggles because in today’s ‘picture perfect’ world it’s far too easy not to. I love that I can relate to your posts, you a real person and not some glossy version of a mum. Ain’t none of us perfect and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that !

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:52 pm

      Thank you Angela. I think that social media and the “picture perfect” images have a lot to answer for. I much prefer the blogs that are honest and relatable, those are the ones I would return to. xx

  30. Amanda
    February 15, 2017 / 5:28 pm

    Oh I am so, so sorry you received such a horrid message – how awful! Like you (and many other parents, I suspect), I’ve had times when I felt like I couldn’t complain… I didn’t know if I’d be able to have kids, so having a baby was a dream come true for me. But then I had a horrendous pregnancy and felt guilty for a) wanting to put my family though it again as if that meant my baby wasn’t enough and b) not wanting to go through it again as if that implied it wasn’t worth it all (which it was). And of course that was made even worse whenever I struggled, as it made me feel guilty for wishing we could have more kids when I struggled with just the one. But you know what, this insidious idea that society passes on to us which suggests we have to be happy and grateful all the time is so messed up. Parenting is one of the hardest things we ever do – one of the most rewarding tol, but so goddamn hard it’s unbelievable some days! My son is currently very clingy and wants to be attached to me all day long… I find that exhausting and as much as I know I will miss this closeness in future, right now sometimes I just want 5 mins to myself! Anyone who doesn’t understand that this is how parenting is is either fooling themselves or trying very, very hard to fool others. Lots of love to you xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:51 pm

      Thank you so much Amanda. I think all of us have felt this way to some extent, I know that I have friends whose sisters or brothers or best friends have fertility struggles and they often say that they feel guilty for moaning about their children around them. It’s sad that we would have to feel that way, although understandable for those who are struggling that they should feel so sad about their own situations. It’s hard isn’t it, I always tell myself that nobody knows what any of us went through, or are going through. People look at me and assume that I just popped out four babies in quick succession, like it was the easiest thing in the world. They have no idea that there should have been five, nor the babies we lost, nor the fertility struggles that I went through with my first husband. It’s just about being kind and if you don’t like something, just scroll right past it. I’m sorry you can relate to this but it’s reassuring to know that others do. xxx

  31. February 15, 2017 / 6:08 pm

    I absolutely cannot get my head around why a person would feel the need to type such hurtful and flippant comments. What does it achieve for them? I honestly hope that they underestimate how much anguish reading something like this can cause, as to think that they would intentionally try to upset someone in such a way horrifies me. I applaud you for sharing this Laura. Your writing is always honest, always real and always filled with so much love. Please don’t let a throwaway comment from a stranger hurt you. Big hugs xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:47 pm

      Thank you so much lovely. I was so hurt at first, because to imply that I am ungrateful for my children is so far removed from the truth! I would like to think that I come across as being exceptionally grateful for my children, and I never take that forgranted, but at the same time I won’t ever sugar coat parenting or pretend that it is easy, because it absolutely is not!! Thank you though, these messages have meant so much to me! xx

  32. February 15, 2017 / 6:21 pm

    Honestly hun I appreciate that you are so honest because lets face it children are not always picture perfect and neither are we. Parenting is an ongoing journey and although I might not be a parent myself, I appreciate what a fantastic parent you are and how you show that it is ok to complain because everyone does it x

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:46 pm

      That’s so true. None of us are perfect and I think it’s so important to be honest about our imperfections and our struggles. I couldn’t be the blogger I want to be if I only shared the happy days, parenting is tough and I wont ever pretend otherwise! xx

  33. February 15, 2017 / 6:29 pm

    What an absolute idiot – I’m so angry for you that they would take the trouble of writing that message to you. I’m so pleased you wrote this though and expressed it all so eloquently, it is exactly that – how ridiculous would it be to not be able to say a single negative thing about your kids. You only have to take one look at your blog to see how proud you are of your family and how honest and real your writing always is. Sending lots of love xxx

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:45 pm

      Thank you lovely. Exactly!! Wouldn’t it be worse to never say a bad thing about being a parent? To pretend that it was all so perfect and easy? I know many do, but for me, I couldn’t be anything less than honest about it, that’s the whole point of my blog really and I won’t change it just because one strange person has an issue with that! xx

  34. February 15, 2017 / 8:17 pm

    I just love this post! Well done you for staying calm and composing this – you are truly amazing!

    Seriously kids are kids and they test us that’s just what they do.

    I have adopted kids, and yes I adore them, so grateful that I have a family BUT, BUT …. they are still kids and sure as hell they test me to my utter limits. Doesn’t mean I can always be the perfect angelic parent!

    You have the mummy blogging community behind you on this one, stay strong my lovely!

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:43 pm

      Thank you so much. Exactly that, being honest doesn’t mean that we are ungrateful! All children are annoying from time to time, and parenting is such hard work! I wont ever pretend that it is anything else! xx

  35. February 15, 2017 / 8:48 pm

    I think it was so refreshing that you were just honest and that you always are in your posts; everyones kids are bloody annoying from time to time that is just life?!! I can’t understand how people have the time/energy/nastiness to bother sending messages like that, ergh!! big hugs, we all know how much you love your children xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:42 pm

      Thank you Alice, I couldn’t make it any more clear how much I love my children and how grateful I am. I didn’t even share the half of my annoyance at them that day, and even if I had it still didn’t warrant a message like that. So odd, but thank you. xx

  36. Emma
    February 15, 2017 / 9:14 pm

    I think it’s amazing that you share the truth about your parenting journey, keeping up appearances is all very well and good but it isn’t real. I’m not really sure why someone felt the need to send that message to you. I hope it hasn’t upset you too much and that is doesn’t stop you sharing or expressing whatever you wish to.

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:41 pm

      Thank you Emma. I was really angry at first, I just felt like it was such an odd thing to do. Now I just feel amused that somebody took the time to do that, and also flattered that my posts instil such emotion in them that they felt the need to create a fake account just to message me. Very odd, leave them to it! xx

  37. February 15, 2017 / 9:36 pm

    It always amazes me that there are people who feel the need to send judgemental messages to others, based on a snapshot of time. Surely everyone who has ever had children fully gets that not all days are sunshine and joy? #BloggerClubUK

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:40 pm

      Thank you, that’s exactly it isn’t it? A snapshot of time, one time when I make a comment that implies I am having a bad day and all of the other good days, the posts about how proud I am, how grateful I am, how lucky I am to have my family, all of those posts are forgotten! So odd! xx

  38. February 16, 2017 / 12:55 am

    Not much to add that hasn’t been said already. Some people just have too much time on their hands and hurt in their souls. I feel like most of what I write is about how annoying my kids are!

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:38 pm

      Haha thanks Jeremy. They ARE annoying though aren’t they?? And those bloggers who insist that their children are perfect are the ones whose blogs I no longer read, as I would rather read a real account of a persons life! xx

  39. Angela Key Milnes
    February 16, 2017 / 8:31 am

    What a good post and Honest story. You’re so brave to share this with us, Sorry To hear that someone upset you I know you are a great mom!

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:38 pm

      Thank you Angela, that’s so kind of you to say. xx

  40. February 16, 2017 / 9:26 am

    What a fab post and it is so true. I for one find honesty in relation to parenthood very refreshing. I think the crux of he matter is whatever your journey, when and if you hopefully arrive at your destination the destination is still the same, ie children who can at times be very annoying. After all, at the risk of sounding flippant, if you decided to go for a break in Italy and you didn’t like the hotel or the town wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, would this be any less true because you had sruggled to save up for the holiday, had a hard time negotiating time off work, lost your passport or luggage or/and had awkward flight times – no.

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 1:37 pm

      I love this analogy! So true!! I will always feel sad for the couples who so desperately want a child and, for whatever reason, cannot, but I sometimes think that they are the ones who feel the same way as this “troll” without realising that should they have a child, they too would not find every second of every day as wonderful as they had imagined. It’s human nature to have bad days, and every child will have their moments, I’m so glad that so many can relate to this. xx

  41. February 16, 2017 / 9:42 am

    I love this! It sounds like you are a normal mom who is trying to share the normal side of parenting. Far too many pictures and blog posts depict the beautiful photogenic unrealistic side of parenting and all it does it make those of us who struggle just to get by feel even worse than we already do.
    I honestly can’t believe someone said that to you. Best case – it’s a troll. Worst case – it’s not and I would immediately block them! No one needs that kind of judgement.
    Good for you!

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:58 pm

      Thank you. I definitely think that it’s someone I know, why else would they feel the need to be anonymous? Anyone who knows me will agree that I am SUCH a proud Mummy, my children are my whole world, so it was so hurtful to suggest otherwise. I will never stop being real, whether people like that or not. xx

  42. February 16, 2017 / 2:04 pm

    I can’t believe someone would be so mean to say something like that to you, some people are just nasty. I dread to think what chaos my children would cause if I took them to the beach, my teen would probably refuse to leave the car, my 3-year-old would dive in the sea fully dressed and my 2-year-old would run off or eat sand. Somtimes being a mum is bloody hard work, I am sure every parent agrees that their children can be so damn annoying at times no matter how much we love/ wanted them xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:55 pm

      Haha I’m so glad that it’s not just my kids! Being a parent is the hardest job in the whole world! Admitting that doesn’t mean we are ungrateful, just that we are real! xx

  43. February 16, 2017 / 4:15 pm

    Oh my gosh, my heart melted with the last photo of your beautiful kids! I don’t have kids yet, but you should like a top mum or as the cool kids say #familygoals x

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:55 pm

      Thank you so much Clair. Haha the cool kids made me laugh, that’s lovely of you to say. xx

  44. February 16, 2017 / 7:58 pm

    Thank you for writing such a wonderful and honest post. Too many people only put the best on social media and make out life is perfect. Which means average mums like me just feel we should try harder for the ‘perfect’ family life. Being a mum or dad is damm hard work. I love my three kids more than words can say but my God there are days when they are little sods and drive me up the wall. That’s life and I count down the moments until bedtime and hope tomorrow will be better. Because sometimes no matter how much I try to do a fun filled half term day what they really want is a rest and quiet time in front of the TV to recharge.

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:54 pm

      I completely agree Lisa, which is why I wont ever change the things I write about or the posts I share. There are far too many bloggers who only share the best side of parenting and it would be very easy to be left feeling inadequate or that we are failing because we don’t feel the same way. And I totally agree, despite my plans for half term the children are having just as much fun today, sat watching The Lion King and eating kinder eggs as they did trekking all the way to the beach!! We are off to the zoo tomorrow though, I just know it won’t go to plan!! xx

  45. February 16, 2017 / 8:32 pm

    Sorry someone made you feel like this. Truth and honesty are always more important than painting a false picture perfect image. There will always be hard days and days when you want to tear your hair out but this only makes the good days that much better. Treasure all the moments – even the one’s when they’re being spectacularly annoying – and let the haters get on with hating!

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:51 pm

      Thank you Emma. I completely agree, painting a picture perfect life is so damaging I think, I would hate for others to think that they were failing because they didn’t feel the same way. xx

  46. February 16, 2017 / 10:34 pm

    This has cheered me right up Laura! And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Struggling more than a bit this week with my three. I feel I am always the crazy lady muttering under my breath juggling a snowsuit clad slippy baby and a screaming two year old and at least one scooter lol! #BloggerClubUK

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:47 pm

      Haha I’m so glad Kate. It’s hard work isn’t it? There isn’t a parent on the planet who doesn’t have those days, it’s so important that we are honest about them too! xx

  47. Cerri
    February 17, 2017 / 8:50 am

    I do not normally reply on these things. In fact this is the first time. I just wanted to say your post brought me to tears, you are an amazing women and mother. Please don’t let the awful people in the world make you feel any different.

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:46 pm

      Oh Cerri thank you so much. That’s so kind of you to take the time to comment, thank you so much. xxx

  48. February 17, 2017 / 8:59 am

    What a lovely honest post. I love your writing voice. I can relate with so you have said and any honest mum would too. My kids drive me crazy 99% of the time. But I won’t trade them for anything. Love them silly.

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:46 pm

      Thank you so much. That’s exactly it, as much as they drive us crazy, we wouldn’t change them for anything, nor do we ever regret our decision to have them. I think it’s natural to have bad days and so important that we share them too. xx

  49. February 17, 2017 / 10:42 am

    I love the honesty in this post. We adopted our children and sometimes their behaviour can be extreme. I can completely relate to most of what you’ve said. Parenting is full of enough self-doubt without the external negative comments. Keep doing what you’re doing!

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:45 pm

      Thank you so much. I think every child has the ability to drive us crazy on some days, no matter how wanted they are. I’m so glad that you can relate to this. xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 12:44 pm

      Aww thank you so much Jodie. I agree, and I always say “Don’t feed the trolls!” but sometimes I just can’t bite my tongue! xx

  50. February 17, 2017 / 2:42 pm

    I can’t believe someone said that to you! They should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. I assume then that their children must be robots or something
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 8:02 pm

      Haha perhaps! Thanks Debbie, much appreciated. xxx

  51. February 17, 2017 / 6:11 pm

    How flipping ridiculous???!!!! Firstly, that comment is not necessary, secondly, why make a fake account to say it? either a keyboard warrior or someone who’s too scared to say it with their true identity.
    Anyone who has a child wanted them dearly but that doesnt mean that there are days when they drive you insane and you’re just waiting for wine o’clock!
    You’re doing an amazing job and people should praise you for your honesty rather than berate you for not making out how wonderfully perfect your life is!! #PoCoLo

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 8:02 pm

      Thank you so much. It’s crazy isn’t it? I would have way more respect for someone who messaged me personally and said I found this upsetting/offensive for this reason. I think sometimes people have way too much time on their hands. My children are so loved and wanted, and I am eternally grateful that we were blessed with four healthy children, but that doesn’t make me super human – it’s still hard work! xx

  52. February 17, 2017 / 8:53 pm

    I can’t remember where I left a comment for you about this but I’ll do it again. You must stop being human…..(eyes rolling). Totally sarcastic and kidding. You are an amazing mother and the photos you post always share that. I hate that someone went out of their way to message you & facebook change themselves to make you feel bad. You keep doing YOU, and don’t you dare change =) #MomsUnite xoxo

    • Laura Dove
      February 17, 2017 / 9:08 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Selena, and I know! If only I was more robotic and less human, perhaps that wouldn’t be an issue!! I’m definitely over it now, it actually spurred me on to write a blog post that people can really relate to! That backfired didn’t it! xx

  53. February 17, 2017 / 9:49 pm

    I love, love, love this post so much. There is I am sure not a parent on the planet who won’t relate to it. You deserve to be blogger of the day, and in my head you always are. I love everything about the honesty of your writing and this piece in no exception.

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 6:08 pm

      Ahh thank you so much my lovely. It’s such a relief that others can relate to it, I love how when the trolls hit out us bloggers stick together. xxxxx

  54. Jo - Pickle & Poppet
    February 17, 2017 / 9:49 pm

    Wow! I am amazed that someone would decide that they would write a comment like that. That they even had the right to. Don’t they realise that you know how lucky you are, everyone who has children is lucky. But it is the most difficult thing to do in the world, parent. There are no rules, there is no training and when you are being screamed at when all you’ve done is try and have a nice day it is harder still. I can only assume that this person is a typical ‘armchair parent’ #thatfridaylinky

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 6:07 pm

      Oh the arm chair parents annoy me the most! I’m sure we’ve all been there, before the kids came along I thought that I would be a very different parent, and yet the truth is parenting is hard work! I am ridiculously grateful for my children, I will never forget what we went through to have them, nor will I ever stop reminding myself how lucky we are, but I’m still human and I will still have my bad days. As amazing as these children are, they still have days when they are as annoying as hell!!! xxx

  55. February 17, 2017 / 9:58 pm

    This post is fab because its so real! All kids are cute, lovable, loving and well, annoying at times! Just like adults and that stupid troll on your internet… dare they! I always think that people like that must be having a really bad, crappy day…its the only reason or they are just nasty! Ah well….your children look lovely!
    I have written some blogs about things that annoy me….if you want to take a look!
    Thanks! oldhouseintheshires.

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 6:04 pm

      Thank you. We are all annoying at times, kids especially!! I try to remind myself that we don’t know what this “troll” was going through, whether they were struggling with infertility or baby loss, or whether they’d had a terrible day and needed to lash out. Who knows, but I think their anonymity speaks volumes and if you have to hide behind your keyboard to make a comment then clearly you know that you shouldn’t be saying it! Will take a look now! xx

  56. February 17, 2017 / 10:02 pm

    I love this post. It’s so honest and true and so very relatable! I can’t believe somebody would have the audacity to send a message like that. Absolute madness!

  57. February 17, 2017 / 10:18 pm

    What a cheek of that person! I’d be furious! Great post and you are only saying what most of us feel at some point or another about our children! A wise lady (my then Health Visitor) once told me “Some days you will feel indifferent to your child and that is normal” I’ve always remembered this and boy was she right! Like you, I love my two sons dearly and would move heaven and earth for them but they also drive me insane regularly! Good for you for sticking to your guns x

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 6:02 pm

      I love that advice, so true!! I think there is so much pressure to appear that our lives are picture perfect and the truth is – they’re not! For every happy smiley photo you see of my kids, there are ten others on my phone that are less than perfect! I used to keep those photos off social media until I realised that actually those are the photos that show the real side of parenting, and now I make sure that I share those photos too. xx

  58. February 17, 2017 / 10:53 pm

    I can’t believe someone would even say something like that, it’s completely unnecessary and hurtful. Of course you’re grateful, but we all have those days where you just wish your child/children would play ball. Instagram may be a place of beautiful pictures but a nice picture doesn’t always mean you’re having a good time! I enjoy reading about how even in the most idyllic photos your children aren’t being the best behaved, because that’s real life! Just keep on telling us the real stories because I love your feed Laura! X

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 5:58 pm

      Thank you so much Louise. I think that Instagram has a lot to answer for in that respect, there is so much pressure to appear that life is perfect and yet as parents I think that we should all be honesty enough to admit that actually, that’s not always the case! I would hate to paint a picture perfect life and isolate other parents who were facing their own struggles. xxx

  59. February 18, 2017 / 2:09 am

    It takes a special kind of ignorance to send a message like that. How sad would your life have to be to take the time and effort to make such a comment? This person is not worth your time.

    I think your post is refreshing. Most mothers (myself included) have a strong inclination to convince the world that we are perfect at parenting our perfect children. It’s just us sitting in a rocking chair with a big smile and love in our eyes as we look upon well behaved children that appreciate and adore us. That’s not reality for anyone. Just because your struggle to make those people was more difficult than most, it doesn’t mean your parenting journey is any easier. #PoCoLo

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 5:55 pm

      Thank you. I think many of us feel the pressure to pretend that parenting is easy, I know that I did for a long time – even more so as I felt that admitting that it wasn’t would deem me ungrateful given what we had been through. I think that’s the crux of it all, regardless of how we got there, our destination was still the same, and it’s ridiculously hard at times! Thank you for your comment. xx

  60. February 18, 2017 / 7:45 am

    Laura, such a fab post and truly deserved of winning Mum’s Net post of the day. The best revenge for such a pathetic comment. You are so right. Every single parent has horrible days like this and parenting is tough no matter what you’ve gone through. Everyone is allowed to say it! You can see how well supported you are, this troll is just jealous! Xxx

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 5:54 pm

      Thank you Cheryl. It has been so lovely to have so many supportive comments, I am so pleased that it’s not just me who feels this way and that others can relate to it too. The blogging community is amazing isn’t it? xxx

  61. February 18, 2017 / 8:03 am

    If there’s one thing that has the ability to rack me right off it’s keyboard warriors and their incessant need to insensitively insult and berate people who they have no right to. Comments like this are just completely unnecessary. Any Mother will know how hard kids can be. I have one – and he irritates the hell out of me regularly. I still love him to the moon and back though. The fact you have five and you cope the way you do is inspirational. I think this kind of comment says so much more about them than it does about you. Keep doing what you’re doing, which is an amazing job and a big fat up yours to those that have no idea! #pocolo

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 5:53 pm

      Thanks lovely, I will never understand it either. I would have far more respect for a person who messaged me “in person” and told me that they had been upset or offended by something I said. Although I disagree with the point they were trying to make, I still think the anonymity of it was what annoyed me the most! Parenting is the hardest job in the world because not only are our children not perfect, but neither are we! xxx

  62. February 18, 2017 / 9:35 am

    I want to wrap my arms around this post and ‘frame’ it. Brilliantly written as usual; you have such an incredible way with words that just takes my breath away. And I nodded furiously in agreement with Bear and Beany’s and Hayley McClean’s comments. Totally bang on. What a small pathetic human to send you that message. It just beggars belief.

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 5:50 pm

      Ahh thank you so much my lovely, you’re so kind. They actually did me a huge favour and I really hope that they read this and realised that actually, their comment was totally unnecessary!! xx

  63. February 18, 2017 / 10:09 am

    Wow I can’t believe that someone went to all the trouble of creating a fake account just to send you that message it really does take trolling to another level!
    I consider myself very lucky that I haven’t had the issues that so many other mummy’s have had, but I carried my babies for 9months and am fully responsible for them if I want to have a whinge and a moan, I will. We ALL have bad days. ALL have days when we question our own sanity and ALL have moments when we could quite happily give them back – to whom I’m not sure! Struggling to have children doesn’t make you immune to these feelings, we are all, after all, only human xxx

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 5:49 pm

      Thank you Becky, I completely agree! I am very mindful of not moaning about how hard it is to be a parent but I wont ever lie about how hard it is, because it really is the hardest job in the world! Being honest isn’t moaning, having a bad day isn’t whinging, it’s just being honest and sharing that with other parents so that we all feel a little less lonely in this crazy word of parenting! I would hate to only share the good side of parenting, that would isolate so many parents who were struggling and be far more damaging than sharing a bad day! xx

  64. February 18, 2017 / 2:57 pm

    Wow. Just wow. I really don’t get some people. We went through a lot of heartbreak to get our two and aren’t able to have any more and I know how lucky we are, but boy do they drive me round the bend on a daily basis! I know when we were still struggling I had a friend who regularly complained about her kids and it used to wind me up because I’d have done anything to be in her position, but I never said anything because deep down I understood. And now I really understand! Maybe it was someone who hasn’t been able to have any kids of her own or who has just suffered a loss and is lashing out. It doesn’t excuse their actions but may explain them.

  65. February 18, 2017 / 2:58 pm

    Wow. Just wow. I really don’t get some people. We went through a lot of heartbreak to get our two and aren’t able to have any more and I know how lucky we are, but boy do they drive me round the bend on a daily basis! I know when we were still struggling I had a friend who regularly complained about her kids and it used to wind me up because I’d have done anything to be in her position, but I never said anything because deep down I understood. And now I really understand! Maybe it was someone who hasn’t been able to have any kids of her own or who has just suffered a loss and is lashing out. It doesn’t excuse their actions but may explain them.

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 5:46 pm

      I completely agree, when we lost Joseph I used to feel so angry at the parents who moaned about how hard work it was with their children, but my judgement was clouded by grief and deep down I knew that. I was more annoyed that I very rarely moan about the children, I am hugely conscious of being grateful and aware that others are not quite as lucky as we are, so to make one comment and receive such a judgement seemed very unfair! I would think that a person who was grieving or going through infertility wouldn’t feel the need to make an anonymous post, I think the anonymity speaks volumes in that it was most likely someone I know? I hope not. xx

  66. February 18, 2017 / 3:11 pm

    What a horrible, horrible thing to message to you. Such a nasty and vicious troll. If you have to create a fake account to say something then that’s what you are, because you know it’s wrong. If you were always sharing messages of a idyllic life, people would turn on you for being fake, or braggy. So you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But to imply that you don’t value your children because they were having a nightmare day is plain wrong. We’ve all of us in our own ways experienced tragedy and loss; that doesn’t mean we have to be happy every minute of everyday.

    I for one am incredibly grateful that you are honest. It makes me feel less alone when I am struggling with only a single child. It makes me feel I am not stupid for wanting another child even though I am being taken the brink regularly by the one I currently have.

    Please keep doing what you are doing! I hope you can put that vicious comment to bed now that you have written this awesome post putting them in their place. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 5:43 pm

      Thank you Angela. I completely agree, to make a comment like that anonymously speaks volumes. I would hope that whoever made that comment did not know me, although a part of me thinks that the need for anonymity indicates that they do, as I would like to think that it is plain to see just how much I love my children – even on the bad days!! I’m so glad that you can relate to my posts, that’s always hugely reassuring to me, and I will never stop sharing the good days AND the bad, so thank you for reading. xxx

  67. February 18, 2017 / 6:24 pm

    I have to say I totally wasn’t expecting that Laura! So was probably as shocked as you as I totally didn’t see it coming. Agree totally with your post up to and beyond that insignificant little remark. Your kids and my ‘Kid’ are all the same – warts and all, hearts, flowers and thunderstorms. Yes they get on our wicks and we are perfectly entitled to say that irrespective of our circumstances and yes we still love them at the same time. Carry on the good work my love #PoCoLo

    • Laura Dove
      February 18, 2017 / 6:49 pm

      Thank you Nicky. It has been so reassuring to know that others feel the same! Parenting is such hard work but just because we are honest about that doesn’t mean that we love them any less! xx

  68. February 18, 2017 / 9:43 pm

    Spot on, on every count! Precious though they are, children can be hard work. We’ve all had those moments as parents (followed swiftly by mummy-guilt, if I’m being honest), so anyone who says otherwise must be superhuman. Or lying xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 19, 2017 / 4:03 pm

      Oh yes, the mummy guilt is relentless!! I think a lot of people would rather paint a dishonest account of their lives than risk being honest that parenting is hard work. It’s a shame that we can’t all be more honest about our struggles. xx

  69. February 18, 2017 / 9:48 pm

    What an idiot! It doesn’t matter how much we love our children, they can still be annoying little terrors and it is ok to not like them for a while xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 19, 2017 / 4:02 pm

      Exactly, loving them doesn’t make them perfect! We just love them despite their imperfections! xx

  70. February 18, 2017 / 10:04 pm

    I do wonder what planet people are on sometimes,
    They act as if we should do no wrong & that we’re perfect. OR that we think WE’RE perfect!

    I love this post beaut, Its so honest!
    <3 I also love the images you've used x

    • Laura Dove
      February 19, 2017 / 4:01 pm

      Thank you so much. They did me a huge favour really, I wrote a blog post I was really proud of and had such lovely supportive comments, that sure backfired on them! xx

  71. February 19, 2017 / 2:13 am

    People can be real assholes Laura. I write for Red Tricycle and I have been called an alcoholic, a bad mother, ungrateful- you name it. All because I wrote a funny diddy on the Magic Kingdom serving beer. My feelings were so hurt.

    We adore our children- to no end.

    And they can be little shits.



    • Laura Dove
      February 19, 2017 / 4:00 pm

      No way, that’s awful!! People can be so mean can’t they? If you don’t like what someone is sharing, keep on scrolling. I will never understand people who cast judgement when they nothing at all about our lives! xxx

  72. February 19, 2017 / 8:23 am

    Fab post! Truly honest and i wish more mummy bloggers were!!! Youre dead right just because they were a handful and you admitted it doesnt wish you love them any less. Personally i think it means you probably love them more as you actually SEE them. So many people think butter wouldnt melt and their kids are perfect and it does none of them favours in the long run. Keep up the hard work and ignore the trolls. And heres hoping half term doesnt drag too much!

    • Laura Dove
      February 19, 2017 / 3:52 pm

      Thanks Emma. I agree with that completely. There are far too many parents who are blinkered to their children’s behaviour, I have my eyes wide open!! And just because I find it hard at times doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful, it just means that I am human….and honest! xx

  73. February 19, 2017 / 11:45 am

    I can’t quite believe that someone would write that?? Never feel bad about saying that you’ve had a bad day, of course we always appreciate them but being a Mum is tough!! Big hugs and thanks for linking up #bestandworst

    • Laura Dove
      February 19, 2017 / 3:50 pm

      Thanks Helen. I could understand if I had ripped them to bits or if I moaned 24/7 but I try very hard not to moan about how tough it is as a parent, I KNOW how lucky I am! I’m so glad that others can relate though, thank you. xx

  74. Nige
    February 19, 2017 / 6:19 pm

    I have just read this for a second time and I’m stunned somebody should message this to you I guess their own lives are so empty this is what they do.
    My goodness though you had your own back with a brilliant piece of writing that puts them firmly in their place and well done on being featured post of the day totally deserved. Your writing never ceases to get me thinking and this is a very special post well done on writing it Laura x Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    • Laura Dove
      February 19, 2017 / 7:37 pm

      Thank you Nige. They did me a huge favour by inspiring to write something that I could really put my heart into, I hope that they read this and feel ashamed of themselves for trying to knock me down. Parenting is the hardest job in the world, I will never say it isn’t, but at the same time I will always stress that it is the most rewarding. Thank you for such a lovely supportive comment as always. xx

  75. February 19, 2017 / 6:35 pm

    Oh my goodness we should be supporting each other not knocking the wind out of each others sails. All children are set to test and in this way the boundaries are learnt. #brillblogposts

    • Laura Dove
      February 19, 2017 / 7:35 pm

      You’d think as parents that’s exactly what we would be doing but it seems so many are more intent on knocking each other down. Thank you for reading. xx

      • February 26, 2017 / 1:02 pm

        That’s sad to hear. #SharingtheBlogLove

  76. February 19, 2017 / 9:32 pm

    I cannot believe somebody would send you a message like that! I actually had to reread what you’d written, just to make sure I’d understood it properly! It’s just so horrible. I think you have every right to defend yourself. We all have days that are hard, when we just want a moment’s peace. I am so sorry to hear that you’ve had such a horrible backlash 🙁 #blogcrush

    • Laura Dove
      February 20, 2017 / 11:06 am

      Thank you Lucy. I hadn’t even said anything bad, I could have said so much more!! Some people are just mean, I would never pass judgement like that on another parents struggles, what happened to supporting each other?! xx

  77. Caroline
    February 19, 2017 / 9:47 pm

    I so love your reference to Kinder eggs on the iPad! Made me chuckle and a feel a bit relieved to know I am not the only one with a child who for some inexplicable reason finds watching that enthralling! Who makes those things ???? We had a day out today, to an old fort with stories of knights and battles. What’s not for a five year old boy to like you would think? Well, when suggested it yesterday you would have thought we were suggesting something close to torture. The idea was met with big tears about getting home too late to play hot wheels (which he played most of the previous day). We went anyway and he loved it, but I so appreciate how days out can go the other way. Thanks for your honesty. It is much appreciated. Children can be adored and loved and still a bit difficult from time to time, just like adults.

    • Laura Dove
      February 20, 2017 / 11:05 am

      Haha kids hey? Mine are obsessed with the Kinder Egg opening videos, even when they aren’t even speaking our language!! I think days out never quite go to plan, we went to the zoo at weekend and all three of the youngest children were crying before we had even got in there! I’m so glad you can relate to this too. xx

  78. February 20, 2017 / 9:20 am

    I love this post! And what a horrible person sending you that message. We all have days when we are tearing our hair out, children as you say can be so annoying and frustrating. I type this as my toddler has just had her second meltdown of the day! It’s hard I “cherish every moment” when they’re kicking and screaming in the supermarket because you won’t let them have some chocolate it’s doesn’t mean we don’t love them or feel lucky to have them. It’s just the ups and downs of parenting I guess! Great post. #postsfromtheheart

    • Laura Dove
      February 20, 2017 / 10:28 am

      Thank you Beth. Exactly, nobody truly cherishes those moments, even the people who claim to!! I think its important that we are honest about our struggles and continue to share ALL aspects of parenting, I definitely don’t believe that anyone’s children are perfect, and neither are they! xx

  79. February 20, 2017 / 11:10 am

    just an unbelievable and unkind comment – my heart aches for you that you had to read such a horrible insinuation. I’m so pleased you wrote this – in places it brought a tear to my eye – you more than any other blogger I know writes with such a passion about your children and you radiate such love for them it is truly beautiful. You are a gorgeous mummy – and your children are so very lucky to have you xx #BigPinkLink

  80. February 20, 2017 / 12:10 pm

    I think people should just keep their opinions about other’s children to themselves, ie. if you have nothing nice to say!!

    (I don’t believe that lady made such a rude comment about being ungrateful!)


    • Laura Dove
      February 21, 2017 / 12:22 pm

      Thank you, I agree too! I would rather someone had scrolled right past if they didn’t like what I had to say, so rude! xx

  81. February 20, 2017 / 12:35 pm

    I would have been totally floored by a comment like that and so for you to have picked yourself up and written such a heartfelt and intelligent reply is fantastic. Of course we all find our kids annoying and of course this doesn’t mean we aren’t grateful, but your reply needed to be spelt out for your own catharsis and to help others. Your photos are just brilliant, as always.

  82. February 20, 2017 / 12:39 pm

    Thank you for your honest response. We all have days like that and too right it doesn’t mean we’re ungrateful for our wonderful kids! #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Laura Dove
      February 21, 2017 / 12:22 pm

      Thank you for reading Annie. Bad days make us better parents, that’s what I tell myself! Ha! xx

  83. February 20, 2017 / 12:43 pm

    Well said. I think it’s shocking that someone felt like they could judge you just because you admitted that you had a bad day with your kids – as we all do from time to time. We may love them, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t drive us bonkers at times. You’re perfectly entitled to admit that. #marvmondays

  84. February 20, 2017 / 1:09 pm

    People can be so crap. I love the Tubblet dearly, but there are times when I don’t like her very much at all. And the feeling is completely mutual! Brilliant reply. Well done 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      February 20, 2017 / 5:32 pm

      Ahh thank you. I think we can all relate to feeling that way. xxx

  85. February 20, 2017 / 1:09 pm

    I’m glad that someone made that comment, not because it hurt you, but because it inspired you to right such a beautiful post. We are all human after all, just ignore the haters they are not worth it.

    • Laura Dove
      February 20, 2017 / 5:32 pm

      Thank you Anne, I agree, and I hope that they read this too and realised how wrong it is to cast judgement! xx

  86. February 20, 2017 / 3:58 pm

    I’m sorry the day didn’t go better but I must admit to chuckling thinking about the “not my best friend” moment followed by more crying- that was a technique I employed often with my brothers! #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      February 20, 2017 / 5:31 pm

      Haha me too if I’m honest!! xx

  87. February 20, 2017 / 7:53 pm

    What is it with kids watching kinder eggs being opened on Youtube? Or other kids building lego sets when there’s millions of abandoned pieces at home?! haha! I can’t believe someone took time out of their to send you that comment, it’s unbelievably rude! Anyone who has kids – and definitely more than one – knows that as much as you love them, they sure are nightmares every now and again! #MarvMondays x

    • Laura Dove
      February 21, 2017 / 12:21 pm

      I know? My kids watch these videos on YouTube in Chinese and German, language isn’t an issue apparently! I don’t get the appeal! Some people are incredibly rude, I would never pass judgement on a parent having a bad day, or a bad year, Id much rather leave a supportive comment and let them know that they aren’t alone! xx

  88. February 20, 2017 / 8:32 pm

    Some people have clearly got too much time on their hands! I can’t believe there’s a single parent out there that hasn’t wondered at some point whether or not it was all worth it! All kids have their moments and we all scream and shout and do fantastic impressions of rabid dinosaurs but you can guarantee we all go into their rooms when they’re fast asleep, stroke their hair and wonder how we could have screamed at something so precious and wonderful! You’re doing an amazing job and anyone that feels the need to say otherwise needs to take a long hard look at themselves. #postsfromtheheart

    • Laura Dove
      February 21, 2017 / 12:19 pm

      Hahahah rabid dinosaurs made me laugh out loud!! So true! And yes, last night I went bat shit crazy at the kids for not eating their tea and yet last night I crept in and kissed them as they slept and promised to be a better mummy today. As much as our kids aren’t perfect, neither are we, and some days are just so much harder than other. Thank you so much for making me smile today. xx

  89. February 20, 2017 / 9:53 pm

    People are so petty! I love this post, and I’ve always found your posts to be extremely honest. Thanks for joining #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Laura Dove
      February 21, 2017 / 12:16 pm

      Thanks lovely, some people are just weird!! xx

  90. February 20, 2017 / 11:02 pm

    I literally cannot believe some people, I’ve been reading this with my mouth wide open in complete shock that someone would even think to send such a message let alone actually press the send button!!!! Loved this post though lovely and the complete honesty of it. Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

    • Laura Dove
      February 21, 2017 / 12:14 pm

      Thanks Hannah. It just seems so pointless doesn’t it? What did they hope to achieve? I wasn’t saying anything other than the fact that the kids had been hard work that day – I could have said a hell of a lot worse!! xx

  91. February 21, 2017 / 6:49 pm

    I think brutal honesty is necessary and to have the authenticity to share that at times, they are indeed hateful little creatures… I welcome it and send you kudos and hugs! #mg

    • Laura Dove
      February 21, 2017 / 9:44 pm

      Haha thank you Lisa, you are so right. We all know it, we just aren’t all honest enough to say it. xx

  92. February 21, 2017 / 7:22 pm

    I love this post! It’s good to be honest as a blogger – no one’s kids are perfect but it can appear that they are when you see a snapshot of a lovely moment. Your daughter’s frown face looks so much like my girls frown face lol Thanks so much for linking up with us at #BloggerClubUK

    • Laura Dove
      February 21, 2017 / 9:43 pm

      Haha that frown face has aged me at least a decade! I could never be the blogger I want to be if I wasn’t honest, I think it’s so important that we support each other through those bad days rather than trying to knock each other down. xx

  93. February 22, 2017 / 10:06 am

    Absolutely! I just wrote a post about how my kids irritate me! Does that mean I don’t appreciate them, love them to the moon and back, or realise how lucky I am to have them? Of course not! And anyone who said otherwise would see another side of me. Great post. #MarvMondays

    • Laura Dove
      February 23, 2017 / 1:21 pm

      Thank you Kerry. Kids ARE annoying, that’s a fact!!! xx

      • February 25, 2017 / 8:27 am

        So true, but so worth it too! Popping back from #KCACOLS

  94. February 22, 2017 / 11:01 am

    Well said Laura! I feel truly sad for this pathetic person. It is beyond me that they have to go through such length of disguising themselves to say such awful things to you. How dare they! It is despicable! Well done to you for showing them that they are truly a contemptible person! Sending lots of love! XXX Thank you for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      February 23, 2017 / 1:21 pm

      Thank you Su. They actually did me a big favour because it turns out that so many people can relate to it and have been so lovely and supportive. xxx

  95. February 22, 2017 / 8:46 pm

    Such a great post. That person is vile. Vile Vile Vile. I can’t believe they’d message you. Well done for writing such a brilliant post. Just remember your true fans/readers would never think that way. xx #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      February 23, 2017 / 11:47 am

      Thank you Susie, that’s so lovely of you to say. Some people really do thrive on bringing others own don’t they? xx

  96. Mackenzie Glanville
    February 23, 2017 / 1:55 am

    as soon as I saw that comment just reading this now I was in shock, seriously what is wrong with some people to think it is oK to make such a judgement? Gosh after loosing two pregnancies before Aspen I struggled with mummy guilt when she was small. She was a baby who only seemed to want to scream, barely sleep and only be held by me, she was my miracle baby, she was perfect and oh my gosh I loved her so much that every cry was like a knife to my heart. But I was exhausted, confused and overwhelmed. One night I was just begging her to sleep, I was exhausted from walking the halls with a screaming baby who wouldn’t let me put her down, my back ached, my heart ached. But worst was the guilt I felt for resenting her in that moment. How could I be so ungrateful. I had prayed for this abby, I had longed for her, and now I was seeming so ungrateful, I felt like a monster. Then after our late miscarriage when Aspen was 18 months I felt even more guilt if I got mad, or fed up. I had to learn that I am normal, that all new mums and mums of kids any age get frustrated and tired!!!!!!!!! And that is OK!!!! We are allowed!!!! I took me, and it sounds like you too, a long time to realise we are not being ungrateful, we are being human! So F*** OFF anyone who thinks we are not grateful! We LOVE our kids, we know they are miracles, but they can drive us nuts! Sadly this person has her own baggage and I hope she can seek some help, but it is not OK to make you feel bad! Sending love xx #mg

    • Laura Dove
      February 23, 2017 / 11:42 am

      Thank you so much Mac, you are so utterly right. I felt exactly the same after Eva, infact I felt so guilty that I was struggling when I had waited such a long time for that moment, that I developed severe post natal depression and actually became very poorly indeed. I beat myself up for a long time for having bad days, wondering why being a parent wasn’t the wonderful experience I had hoped it would be, and it’s only really in the last year or so that I have accepted that it’s okay to feel this way. Parenting IS wonderful, in so many ways, but it is also damned hard work and there are days when I want to throw in the towel. The important thing is that we don’t, we keep going, we grit our teeth and we count down until bed time, and that’s why we are good parents – because we never give up even when things get tough. You are an amazing mother Mac, we are all pretty amazing infact, I am so grateful for lovely supportive comments such as this as opposed to the ones who try to bring us down. Lots of love. xxx

  97. February 23, 2017 / 5:51 am

    Laura, I’ve had this open in my browser to read for a while and am so pleased I got around to it today. It’s beautifully written and has made me feel emotional. How dare the person use those words ‘someone like you’. What a bloody slap in the face. While I haven’t been through what you have – we struggled to conceive and so I am wracked with guilt sometimes when I’m getting exasperated with the children that I longed for. This beautifully normalises this so thank you. xx #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Laura Dove
      February 23, 2017 / 11:39 am

      Ahh thank you so much Hayley. Someone like you is just so insulting isn’t it, the implication that I am not the same as another parent for all we have been through. I have friends just like you who struggled to conceive who feel guilty that they have bad days with the children, especially when there are still others desperately wanting a baby of their own. The truth is, we are none of us perfect, and neither are our children. Keep going mama, we are doing the best we can! xxx

  98. February 23, 2017 / 10:18 am

    Brilliant post that says what we all feel.
    Sending hugs.

    • Laura Dove
      February 23, 2017 / 11:32 am

      Thanks lovely. xxx

  99. February 23, 2017 / 12:14 pm

    Some people just have nothing better to do than to troll online. It’s sad really. I’m sorry you had to go through it, but I 100% agree with you, we are only human. We have the right to think our kids are a pain in the arse from time to time! – Because they are! that’s what they do. We are on demand 24/7 with them, no holiday, no breaks, just full on devoted parents. And that can wear us down – it does wear us down! We are allowed to mutter and grumble, and get fed up and just want to make them behave, but it doesn’t mean we don’t love them any less! Don’t let the troll get to you, the fact you even took them out for the day is more than what some do for their kids! Keep on being a wonderful mum! 🙂
    Becky x

    • Laura Dove
      February 23, 2017 / 1:24 pm

      Thank you Becky, that’s so true. I was really hurt at first by the comment and then just thought how rude of someone to judge me! If someone is struggling with a bad day, how about messaging them to say hang on in there, or letting them know that they aren’t alone. I will never understand those who bring eachother down, if you’ve nothing supportive to say then just keep on scrolling!! xx

  100. February 23, 2017 / 12:56 pm

    Absolutely love this post! #sharingthebloglove

  101. February 23, 2017 / 1:17 pm

    Some people …… Everyone feels like that. These past few days have been tough and you start to think why? But not for one minute would you change a thing. I’m so incredible grateful for my daughter and love her so much! You’re completely normal in feeling that way and people need to keep their mouths closed. If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say it at all springs to mind!


  102. February 23, 2017 / 1:44 pm

    But that’s the reason some of us blog surely, to share the highs and the lows, and the very lows sometimes, because life is not about everything being a bed or roses, that’s not real life! Hence why my blog is called So Happy In Town (S.H.I.T.) because sometimes it is tough and it’s good to laugh (or cry) about it. I love blogs like yours, where the good, the bad, and the ugly are revealed and we can all feel that relief of ‘oh my kids behave like that too’ or ‘I get days when I feel like that’ so you don’t feel alone. We are all just muddling through and sounds like you’re doing a brilliant job. #postsfromtheheart

    • Laura Dove
      February 24, 2017 / 4:26 pm

      Thank you Susie, that’s exactly it! I know there are bloggers who share only the good side of parenting, and bloggers who get their laughs from sharing only the bad side, but surely being honest and sharing the good and bad is better than editing our lives to please others? I would way rather someone had commented and told me that they feel the same way, that it was perfectly normal to have bad days, or to wish me a better day tomorrow. I will never understand people who thrive on bringing others down, I hope that they feel ashamed of themselves. xx

  103. February 23, 2017 / 2:09 pm

    It really is such a shame that people can’t just scroll past isn’t it? A lovely honest post from a mother of children driving you crazy, they all do no matter what background any of us had some days are great and some are a disaster from start to finish. We can get berated for sharing too much good and then this. I hope you can shrug it off with all this support and it doesn’t change the way you post. Xx #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      February 24, 2017 / 4:18 pm

      Thank you Laura. I feel so reassured that so many parents feel the same way, children ARE hard work and they are annoying at times, that doesn’t mean that we are bad parents for acknowledging that! I think the bad parents are the ones who don’t see their childrens faults at all and allow them to continue acting that way! xx

  104. February 23, 2017 / 8:03 pm

    What a mean-spirited comment and completely incorrect. You are an awesome mom as far as I can tell and are certainly allowed – just like ALL moms – to get pissed at your kids. I like to think that I am a good mom but I remember just last week calling my precious daughter the B word behind closed doors. I am allowed to do this despite the fact that I underwent a year of fertility treatments and one D&C. So there! Kiss it, Mean Lady! #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      February 24, 2017 / 4:28 pm

      Thank you so much. We can’t all be the perfect parent, even less so when we don’t have the perfect children, but we can do the best we can on any given day! xx

  105. February 23, 2017 / 10:14 pm

    I’m so sorry you had to feel bad and judged. I have 4 kiddos. I love them dearly but there are definitely days I don’t like them (except perhaps the baby who is still perfect 😉 ). I am a firm believer that the “best” parents are always those who have never had kids. Thank you for being real. It’s much better for us all to connect honestly than for our readers to feel like they can’t live up to our “online” perfect families. I’m glad you shared this! #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      February 24, 2017 / 10:43 am

      That’s so true isn’t it? We can all be the perfect parent before kids come along! Being a parent is so hard, I won’t ever pretend otherwise! xx

  106. February 24, 2017 / 4:19 pm

    Firstly how dare that person tell you what to feel grateful for. They have not lived YOUR life!!! That makes me mad. Goodness all of our kids have grumpy and bad moments just like us grown ups. I’m sure loads of us have been counting down until bedtime so we can have a little break! Thanks for sharing. Your posts are always fab X Sunita #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Laura Dove
      February 24, 2017 / 4:30 pm

      Thank you Sunita, that’s so kind of you to say. I doubt there is a parent out there who dreads bedtime and having a moments peace and quiet, it’s only natural that we are all exhausted at the end of the day and needing a moment to ourselves! If someone doesn’t like what we have to say, surely it would be kinder to just keep on scrolling? xx

  107. February 24, 2017 / 6:36 pm

    I do love the pictures you use to illustrate your points. And great points too! #postsfromtheheart

    • Laura Dove
      February 24, 2017 / 6:58 pm

      Haha thank you. They are super cute but wow they are annoying! xx

  108. February 24, 2017 / 7:54 pm

    Some people are just so unkind aren’t they but this post was the perfect retort. Keep your head held high and ignore the shitty comments some sad people leave for you. I get them all the time – they just look for the lowest blow they can deliver. #fortheloveofblog x

    • Laura Dove
      February 26, 2017 / 1:16 pm

      Thank you. It’s sad really that other people have nothing better to do than to bring others down, says more about them than us! xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 26, 2017 / 1:07 pm

      Thank you, its madness isn’t it? xx

  109. February 25, 2017 / 11:31 am

    You bloody tell them Laura !!! Life is not a bed of roses and kids are definitely not little cherubs all the time. We are mums , we are human and we blog about the good , the bad & the ugly. Someone like you is everyone one of us and this is real life. How dare anyone try and tell you what you should be grateful for. Trot on Mr Troll. Thanks for linking up with #PostsfromtheHeart

    • Laura Dove
      February 26, 2017 / 1:06 pm

      Thank you Becci, it’s insane isn’t it? Who doesn’t have a moan about their kids once in a while? Trot on Mr Troll made me laugh out loud, thank you. xx

  110. February 25, 2017 / 5:56 pm

    How sad – and shocking – that someone thought it was acceptable behaviour to send you (or anyone) that message. But love your response, your kids are adorable and I’m glad to hear you being real about them, there’s no point faking it, because tbh what ‘s the point. Love the comment above – trot on mr troll – definitely my thoughts too. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo x

    • Laura Dove
      February 26, 2017 / 12:56 pm

      Thank you Steph, I completely agree, what is the point in faking a life that isn’t true or even realistic? All children are annoying, and it’s okay to admit that! xx

  111. February 26, 2017 / 9:23 am

    I think it says more about this person than it does you. What a sad and lonely life they must live. They either don’t have children and have some sort of false fantasy that it’s only giggles and rainbows, or they are just like every other parent, but feel so constrained be social pressures that they can’t bring themselves to even admit that half the time their kids can be little tyrants. That’s not a happy place for them to be. However, it still doesn’t excuse them for venting their sadness on you or anyone else. Glad you shared this! #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      February 26, 2017 / 12:12 pm

      Thanks Dave, that is exactly how I feel too. It’s sad really that some people spend their whole lives striving for perfection or using social media to portray a fantasy version of their perfect life. Parenting is hard work, I think the more of us who are honest about that the better! Thanks for reading. xx

  112. February 26, 2017 / 9:23 am

    I love your instagram feed and you are so honest..what’s the point in writing something that is fake just to please other people? No idea why that person felt the need to send you that message, sounds like an idiot to me. All children can be difficult and annoying at times, regardless of your circumstances. No family is perfect and we should be able to be honest about that without people making horrible comments xx #mg

    • Laura Dove
      February 26, 2017 / 12:11 pm

      Thank you Wendy. I completely agree. I follow some people who appear to have the perfect life, every day is wonderful, every photo beautifully styled, but its not REAL, we all know it! I find it really sad that someone would want to try to hurt me with a comment such as that, and yet it says more about them than it does me. Thank you for reading. xxx

      • February 28, 2017 / 8:15 pm

        Back again from #BlogCrush.. this post is so brilliant that obviously someone chose it as their favourite post of the week. Congrats lovely xx

        • Laura Dove
          March 1, 2017 / 11:11 am

          Ahh thank you so much. xxx

  113. February 27, 2017 / 10:11 am

    This is the greatest comeback to that insensitive and rude comment, good for you. Thank you for keeping it real, and describing in heartwarming detail the realities of family life. You can be blessed, grateful and more in love than you ever thought you could be. You are also allowed to be exhausted, stressed out and fed up too 😊 #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Laura Dove
      February 27, 2017 / 12:54 pm

      Thank you. That’s exactly it, parenting is so tough in the same way that it is amazing, but we are only human and we are going to feel all of those emotions and that’s okay! xx

  114. February 27, 2017 / 10:20 am

    I’m so cross someone would say that to another person!

    If the person in question reads this, I’ve lost three babies, and have two children, and last week, while the littlest on had her back turned I stuck my middle finger up at her. She didn’t see, but I felt better for doing it.

    Just because we do these things, just because we sometimes struggle, it doesn’t mean we must prove our love more!

    As my Dad used to say to me and my siblings as we grew up-I’ll always Love you, but I don’t always like you”!


    • Laura Dove
      February 27, 2017 / 12:51 pm

      Thank you Jemma, I am so glad that others can relate to this. That’s exactly it, we love our children but we don’t always like them. And as much as they aren’t perfect, neither are we. Some days are tough and admitting that doesn’t make us ungrateful! I am sorry for your losses, much love. xx

  115. February 27, 2017 / 12:41 pm

    Good on you for sharing this post! Sounds like your doing everything right. #postsfromtheheart

    • Laura Dove
      February 27, 2017 / 12:48 pm

      Thank you Pam, I really hope so! xx

  116. February 27, 2017 / 9:55 pm

    GAR! Once again your post has made me cry, I don’t think I have read one yet that hasn’t! I cannot believe some people, why do they feel they have the right to write something like that! Fantastic post 🙂 Thank you for linking up with #KCACOLS we hope to see you again xx

    • Laura Dove
      February 28, 2017 / 11:33 am

      Aww I’m sorry!! Maybe they should come with a warning!! Thank you though, it’s crazy that anyone would feel the need to message someone in this way, isn’t it? If you don’t like it, just keep on scrolling!! xx

  117. Laura - Autumn's Mummy
    February 28, 2017 / 4:50 pm

    Such an honest post.

    As much as we love them, being a parent is hard and we might not always like our children!

    How rude that was – please don’t be hard on yourself.


    • Laura Dove
      March 1, 2017 / 11:14 am

      Thank you Laura. So rude!!! I prefer to take it as a compliment that my posts instilled such emotion in them that they had to go to those lengths to message me! xx

  118. March 1, 2017 / 1:33 pm

    I honestly think that this idea that we should ‘cherish every moment’ is quite dangerous. There is so much pressure on parents to love and enjoy every aspect of having children, but that’s just not reality! Of course we’re grateful for our children, and I think if you’ve had a journey like yours to get them then maybe you’re especially grateful for them. But that doesn’t mean that you have to love and cherish every moment with them. Some days are really hard. And I think we should be free to talk about those days as much as we talk about the good days. x #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      March 1, 2017 / 10:04 pm

      I completely agree!! There is so much pressure on parents to enjoy every moment of our children, no wonder so many of us end up feeling guilty and that can fast spiral into PND, I know that it did for me. Thank you for such an important comment, being honest is the best thing we can do to help other parents feel a little less lonely in this crazy world of parenting! xx

  119. March 3, 2017 / 6:48 pm

    This was such a great response to such a stupid comment. Such ridiculous reasoning from that person. Would she tell someone who survived cancer that they can’t ever complain or be unhappy because ‘someone like them’ should be more grateful for life? It’s just nonsense. Moreover, it rather implies that people who have been very fortunate and had few problems in life are allowed to complain, but those who have already suffered should be more grateful and shut up – that seems like a rather unfair logic! Anyway, good for you for this response doing so well. Your children are THE most adorably beautiful kids ever. But I have two toddlers within a year of each other and they are great but hard work – I can imagine what three with that age gap would be like. And it would be entirely unrealistic to think it’s not going to be nightmarishly chaotic for you sometimes! #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      March 4, 2017 / 3:42 pm

      Thank you. That’s exactly it, the reasoning is completely irrational! I was hurt by the comment initially and then just completely bemused as to why someone would feel the need to create a fake account to message me like that. Actually they did me a huge favour as so many people related to my post and I made Mumsnet blog of the day, so I got the last laugh well and truly, hahah! xxx

  120. March 19, 2017 / 9:20 am

    I can’t believe someone took the time to do that! And it’s someone that knows your story… very strange.
    It’s weird how people think it’s okay to judge but then would complain if you portrayed everything as brilliant and peaceful. Every parent, no matter what they’ve been through, goes through the tough days and like you said, if they say they don’t they’re lying. Great post Laura. Xx
    Thanks for linking to #pocolo
    (Sorry for the epically late comment!)

    • Laura Dove
      March 19, 2017 / 5:40 pm

      Thank you Morgan, I think it was definitely someone who knows my story and it’s sad really that they felt the need to try to hurt me like that. Turns out they did me a huge favour as it was one of my most successful posts yet! xx

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