Celebrating Mothers: We are all Mums
This Mothers Day Tommy’s have launched a campaign to remind us that regardless of the number of babies in our arms, we are all Mums. It is an honour to support a charity so close to my heart and, as always, to share my story.
With Mothers Day approaching this weekend, it goes without saying that it is a very special day in our house, and one in which I count my blessing four times over. On Sunday morning I will wake up, after a lovely long lie-in, go downstairs where all four children will no doubt be waiting, armed with flowers, clutching their hand made cards, their little faces beaming with pride as I wrap them all up in my arms and tell them that there isn’t a Mummy in the world as lucky as I. And from the outside looking in, it will be utterly perfect.
And I think that is possibly the saddest truth of all, that no matter how many children I have, or how many years pass, there will always be a great big gaping hole in our lives that Joseph should have filled.
Because from the moment I saw those two blue lines on a test, saw his perfect little face on a scan and felt his kicks and wriggles as he grew, I was his Mum. As I decorated the nursery, picked out his clothes, prepared for the birth and counted down the days, I was his Mum. When I planned out our entire lifetime, so many hopes and dreams, when the end was so close I could almost touch it, I was his Mum. When I listened to the words that no parent ever wants to hear, clutched my belly, cried and screamed and told them they had made a mistake, I was his Mum.
Throughout a thirty hour labour, shocked and scared and praying for a miracle, I was his Mum. When I held him in my arms, kissed his ruby red lips, buried my head in his shock of black hair, counted his fingers and toes, knowing that it would never be enough, I was his Mum. When I bathed him and dressed him and told him about the big brother he would ever meet, when I kissed him goodbye and left the hospital with empty arms, I was his Mum. And when I watched as his coffin was lowered into the ground, covered with earth, and said the hardest of goodbyes, I was his Mum. And ten years later, our world irreversibly changed, when my heart still aches for the years we should have had, I am still his Mum.
“A Mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart.”
And in that way, my heart is very much filled with love; with the memory of fifteen babies, all desperately wanted, all lovingly thought of, all lost before the thirteenth week of pregnancy. With love for Joseph, the most special little boy who is loved and missed every moment of every day, and for my four beautiful children who are living proof that miracles do happen.
This Mothers Day I shall be supporting Tommy’s and sparing a thought for every Mum missing a child. For the Mums who are still waiting, for those who celebrate alone, those with just a scan photo to cherish, a tiny Babygro to hold, a grave to visit. For the Mums who anxiously cradle their pregnant bellies, or hold their rainbow babies in their arms, the Mums who sit beside their babies incubators, just willing them to keep fighting. For the Mums whose paths to Motherhood were not conventional, who wear their battle scars with the terrifying clarity that their stories could well have been so different. For the Mums who hold their living children close and live with sadness and regret for what could have been, and what should have been. And for the Mums who are fortunate enough to have never experienced a loss, nor seen their babies lives hang in the balance, but who remind themselves every single day just how lucky they are.
We are all Mums.
Oh my goodnes, I have tears in my eyes as I read this. I’m sorry that you lost Joseph. Thanks for writing this post and raising awareness of the Tommy’s campaign. Emily
Thank you Emily. It’s always difficult to share our story, but at the same time it’s a real honour. Thank you so much for reading. xxx
Back again to say Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky
Hi Laura, this is ever so sad to read but very well written – and explains exactly how loss feels. I wish there was a way to make that hole go away – but it’s particular to Joseph, and is Joseph-shaped, not for anyone else to tamper with. #WeAreAllMums
Thank you so much Vanessa. It’s always an honour to share our story with others, even more so when it can support a charity close to our hearts. Joseph was the most precious little boy, I am truly grateful that he chose us. xxx
Beautiful. Honest. Moving. Terrifying.
Thank you for sharing. I hope our little bean sticks and stays and joins us in the world later this year.
Much love
#dreamteam
Thank you so much, and congratulations to you. I am sure that your little one will grow healthy and strong, thank you for reading, it can’t have been easy especially being pregnant. Much appreciated. xxx
This was so beautiful and terrible, it made me cry. I may have had a miscarriage before my eldest son but I will never know for sure 🙁 what an excellent charity, I hope this helps to raise awareness Lx #dreamteam
Thank you Laura. I’m sorry to hear that, it’s devastating that so many Mums are missing a baby, even more poignant at times like Mothers Day. Thank you so much for reading. xx
What a touching post – thanks for being so open with your story (as always!) and reminding us that while we all have different experiences of motherhood, some that are more difficult than others, we are all mums. Always. #DreamTeam
Thank you. I am backing this campaign whole heartedly, Mothers day can be tough or so many Mums out there. Thank you for reading. xxx
Currently in an open plan office crying like a big wuss … I’ve got a Mums day post ready to go and will link to Tommy’s campaign. It such a great message.
Aww bless you, I’m so sorry to make you cry. Linking to Tommy’s is lovely of you, Mothers Day can be such a tough day for many of us. xx
It can for so many reasons. It’s always a difficult church service to plan as there are so many potentials for upset. Back again from #sharewithme
A very moving post and important to draw attention to this. Sending love #dreamteam
Thank you so much. xx
What a beautiful sentiment. We’ll be joining in with #WeAreAllMums this Mothers Day. You are very brave to write this post and our thoughts are with you x
Thank you so much. It’s a fantastic campaign and it’s an honour to be part of it. xx
Oh Laura, your story always touches my heart and I still remember the first time I read about Joseph and how emotional I felt for you then – and now. I can’t imagine how bittersweet days like Mother’s Day must be for you. You will always be his mum and he will always be your baby boy. Love to you x
Ahh thank you Fi, I really appreciate your kind thoughts. For the most part Mothers Day is a lovely day, it’s a day I never dared imagine I would celebrate with four children, but there should have been five, I think that’s always going to be tough. xx
Aw Laura this made me cry. I feel the same, people look at me with 2 girls and say I’m so lucky and I have the dreams of having girls which yes I did always want but I long to have my boy too 🙁 x
Aww Kerry, it’s so hard isn’t it? I’m constantly asked if I am planning a fifth, I find that hard, especially by people who know about Joseph!! Thinking of you on Sunday my lovely. xxx
Laura, you write so beautifully, and from the heart. I cannot agree more with your sentiment; and this cause is truly wonderful. I shall certainly join in. Thank you for writing this.
Thank you so much. It’s a fantastic campaign to raise awareness, as lovely as Mothers Day is, it can also be very bittersweet for many. xx
You have reduced me to tears Laura, yet again. Such a beautiful reminder that the mothering spirit lives in all of us regardless of our life situations. Bravo x
Thanks lovely. Mothers Day is very hard for so many women, I think far too many of us can relate to that sadness. We always make Mothers Day a happy occasion, because it really is, but it’s still bittersweet, always will be. xxx
You never fail to move me to tears, my heart truly aches for all the pain and suffering you have been through and your right the pain never goes but remember one thing. Joseph may have been taken early from you but like you said he is still your child and a mother is not defined by how many children she has but by the love in your heart. I know that your love for him still burns brightly and always will x
Thank you so much Ana. I am so lucky to have five precious children, Joseph will very much be in my thoughts this Sunday. xxx
Completely agree with this sentiment. We didn’t really tell anyone about our miscarriage, and now I’m expecting again I find it really hard when people talk about this one as being ‘baby number 2’ xx #twinklytuesday
Ahh I can relate to that. I find it hard with all of mine as actually, there has been twenty babies! I always tell people I have had five babies but twenty pregnancies, it’s hard though! I hope everything is going well. xx
Knowing your story it was a risk reading this before work, needless to say my eyes are full of tears. Tommy’s do some amazing work and this campaign is so worthwhile. Thinking of you. #weareallmums #bestandworst
Aww bless you, well thank you so much for reading. Tommys is an amazing charity and I am so honoured to be a part of this campaign. xx
This was lovely to read. Thank you for sharing #DreamTeam
I love this campaign and I love that quote too. I think any mother who has lost a child can understand that sentiment – mother’s day is a lovely celebration but can be so tinged with sadness for so many people, for so many reasons. #bloggerclubuk
Just stopping by again to say thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove this week
Such a moving post Laura. I am in tears as I read it. so emotional 🙁
I can not imagine what you went though. I had a miscarriage at 3 months and that was such a hard time of my life.
Have a lovely Mothers day xx
I’m so sorry you lost Joseph but thank you so much for raising awareness ?
Thank you so much Lisa. xxx
You are one of the strongest and most admirable people I know. Love you xxx
Aww Fi, thank you so much. Love you too my gorgeous friend. xxx
So beautifully written. You are indeed blessed. #weareallmums
#stayclassymama
Thank you so much. xxx
You have a way with words. Your blog made me cry and yet it was beautiful at the same time. Stay blessed.
Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate that. xxx
Oh my goodness Laura, I literally have tears in my eyes. I cannot begin to imagine how devastating it must be to lose a child, and I can’t imagine that feeling of not having them with you. Just reading this reminds me just how incredibly lucky we are to have our two wit us. The quote is so beautiful and the love that you have for Joseph shines through. So much love to you and for this moving campaign. xx
Sorry lovely – #coolmumclub. I forgot xx
Ahh thank you so much. I think every child is a miracle, aren’t they? We have been so lucky to have five beautiful children but it will never stop hurting that I can only hold the four of them. xxx
As a lucky mum of 6 I always also remember the one that got away and although I never got to full term we light a candle on the anniversary of the loss
Thank you so much for sharing so honestly. #coolmumclub
Thank you Annie. xx
A beautifully poignant message Laura, one which as you know, speaks volumes to me, as it will many other Mothers.
Have a wonderful Mothers Day xxx
Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub
Thanks lovely. There are far too many Mothers who struggle on Sunday, those who have lost their child and those who have lost their own Mother. Some days are very bittersweet. Love to you. xxx
Aww Laura this was so moving. Had me in tears. So well written. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through but you’ve shared it so well. I hope you have a lovely Mother’s Day xx
Thank you Kerry, I’m sorry I made you cry though! Have a lovely Mothers Day. xx
Powerful read, thank you for sharing. Love the quote x #brillblogposts
Thank you! xx
Such a positive message and I’m so sorry for your losses. #ThatFridayLinky
Thank you Heather. xx
Sorry to hear of your loss. This is an issue that has impacted on my extended family, my sister and husband having lost a child to SIDS. Supporting all those families that have experienced the loss of an infant is vital as I am a firm believer that it affects you in ways the bereavement of an older relative doesn’t. Great campaign and good work Tommys. #ThatFridayLinky
I am so sorry to hear that, how utterly devastating. I completely agree, nobody should ever have to lose a child, it’s not the order that we expected it to be. xx
This is so moving Laura, thank you for writing about something that must be so hard to talk about.
Thank you so much. xx
I am so sorry to of read this and happen to you. My heart goes out to you and your family entirely
Thank you Lindsey. xx
This had me in tears. I have a few close friends that have either had a late miscarriage or still birth and they were and always will be mums. Their babies existed, it may not have been long and they may have never taken a breath but they were here, and they were mums you like you xxx
Ahh I’m so sorry to hear about your friends. It happens so often, far too often than it should, and it is just devastating, especially when those losses are not recognised by others. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. xxx
Absolutely heart breaking but so lovely to be supporting this charity. I hope you have a nice day with the children x
Thank you, I had a wonderful day and I hope you did too. xx
You never fail to move me. My own experience was not a smooth one and I feel for those who wont hear the words ‘mummy’ uttered from their little ones lips. #bloggerclubuk
Ah thank you so much Helena. I will always wonder what our lives would have been like, he was a very special little boy. xxx
This is a beautifully written post Laura and a great campaign from a wonderful charity. Sending love to you x #sharingthebloglove
Ahh thank you Taryn. Much appreciated. xxx
Children are precious, and every day my son and daughter remind me of this.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Happy Mothers day Crystal. xx
So beautifully written as always. I hold two babies in my arms and 6 more in my heart and I am loving this campaign, it carries such an important sentiment x
#FabFridayPost
Ahh I’m sorry to hear that Alana. Much love. xx
This is just gorgeous Laura. Absolutely beautiful. I’m sorry for your loss and the pain that still comes with it all these years later. Sending lots of love. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Thank you so much Lisa. I think it will always be difficult but I like to think that he is never too far away. I hope so. xxx
Laura I feel for you so much this brought tears to my eyes a truly beautiful post love the way you write and you jump off the page at me when I’m reading your posts you drag me in and touch every emotion I have. You are easily one of the best writers out there in the blogging world today. Much love on Mother’s Day for you Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please
Thank you so much Nige, for your lovely comment and your constant support. It is always appreciated and a real honour to share my posts with you. xx
Oh Laura. That was such a moving read. I literally have tears streaming down my face and nothing I say here will make it any easier for you. I am so sorry you have been through this and so sorry that Joseph isn’t with you today as you celebrate Mothers Day. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Sending you lots of hugs. xxx #TriumphantTales
Thank you so much Jaki, that is much appreciated. I’m sorry I made you cry! xxx
A lovely post. I hope you had a great day and were spoiled xx #twinklytuesday
Thank you, I did. I hope you did too. xx
This has really made me think this morning. I’m a mothers day grump as I don’t have a mum and grumble about that. I’m a single mum so I feel hard done too that I don’t get a mothers day fuss , but actually I’m incredibly lucky to have my four (not so little anymore) people. Doesn’t hurt at all to be reminded of that . Thank you for sharing your story x
I’m sorry to hear that, I think Mothers Day without your Mum must be heartbreaking. And as a single Mum you deserve a medal! But yes, I think any Mother that has all of her children safe in her arms is utterly blessed. xxx
Beautiful post. I love your writing x
Thank you Ruth. xx
Hi Laura, what a moving campaign. Your post is so sad, it made me cry, I just can’t imagine how difficult losing a child could be. An important reminder to remember just how lucky we are to have our little one and no one missing. Such a beautiful quote lovely. Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam xxx
Thank you Annette, although again I am so sorry I keep making you cry! It’s such an important campaign though, not just for Mothers Day but everyday. We at very lucky to have our babies aren’t we? I hope you had a lovely day yesterday. xxx
A very moving post which I’m sure lots of mums can relate to. I’m so sorry for your loss and hope yesterday wasn’t too hard. I had tears in my eyes reading this I can’t even imagine what you went through. Sending ? #postsfromtheheart
Thank you so much. Yesterday was lovely, it will always be hard but I am very lucky to have four beautiful children in my arms. I know some aren’t ever that lucky. xx
Oh Laura, you get me every time!!! Thank you so much for sharing this post with us all at #TriumphantTales. Also thank you for supporting such a wonderful charity and spreading awareness of their cause.
I think it shows a true strength to be able to share such a personal story and touch everyone. I hope you enjoyed your special day yesterday, as much as you could!
Thank you so much, I am incredibly lucky to have four children here in my arms, some people don’t even have one. Tommy’s is such an amazing charity and it’s a real honour to be a part of such a worthy campaign. Mothers Day was lovely, it’s just always going to be bittersweet I suppose. Hope you had a wonderful day. xx
I’m so glad you enjoyed your day, I got to do sweet FA and have a looooooong bath undisturbed which I cant stop raving about (my non mum friends dont get why im so happy about the bath haha).
popping back from #PostsFromTheHeart
Ooh a bath! That’s the equivalent of a spa day these days!! xx
Such a heartfelt post, I’m sorry you have had to go through this and I wish I could give you a big hug. Mothers Day is always so difficult when someone is missing xx
#candidcuddles
Just beautiful Laura, the tears are rolling again. You are amazing and you write so passionately and beautifully from the heart. Mother’s Day is definitely a bitter sweet day for so many people. I loved your week of celebrating mothers, you are definitely one to be celebrated. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove xx
Thank you Laura. I was very lucky to be woken by four gorgeous children on Sunday morning, although it was bittersweet it was also a reminder of how incredibly lucky I am. Thank you for hosting as always. xxx
You move me to tears Laura. Such a beautiful post. Hope you had a lovely Mother’s Day xx #BloggerClubUK
Thank you so much Susie. I did have a wonderful day, I hope you did too. xx
Oh Laura – that saying is so very true! Thanks for linking to #sharewithme
Thank you so much. xxx
I love this quote, it’s about what’s in your heart! Your posts always exude love despite the tough times you’ve been through. I would love to join the conversation #weareallmums completely agree with the concept, nothing else matters but the love in our heart for our children. Thanks so much for sharing with #stayclassymama!
Thank you, it’s such an important campaign and one that we should be aware of not just for Mothers Day, but every day. Thank you so much for reading. xxx
Baffled as to what’s happened to the comment I already left on this and I also could have sworm I shared it on FB. I’m senile. Reading it a second time is no less emotional. I still remember Single Mum Speaks (or was it Single Swan?) post last year prior to the blog awards announcements, when you got the ‘Not a Dry Eye in the House’ medal. This post wrecks me. I have experienced miscarriage but that’s nothing compared to your journey. I just can’t fathom the levels of grief and hopelessness you have gone through. Sweet Laura #coolmumclub
Ahh thank you so much, you are so so kind, even if you are senile. Hehe. Baby loss is hard, regardless of the gestation or the circumstances, and I think there are far too many of us Mums carrying around a sadness in our hearts that we really shouldn’t have to carry. Mothers Day is always hard, but then so is Christmas, his birthday, a regular Wednesday or a Friday…..it’s always going to be hard to be a Mummy to a child I can’t hold in my arms and have the privilege of watching them grow. Thank you so much for reading. xxx
Back from #candidcuddles. So glad you joined us with this spectacular if heart wrenching post.
Turns out I hadn’t shared it on FB but I have now! They probably won’t notify you of the 2 people they show it to so just saying! x
Haha I saw it, I hate Facebook!! Thank you though lovely. xxx
Popping back from #CandidCuddles xxx
Such a moving post, and such a true sentiment, being a mother is all about the love we hold in our hearts. x #CandidCuddles
Thank you so much for reading. xxx
This is such a beautiful post. I have cried and cried again. Thank you Laura for writing this beautiful piece and sharing with us all. #WeAreAllMums #FabFridayPost
Aww Su thank you so much. xxxx
I cannot even begin to imagine the feelings that must go through your head on Mother’s Day. It must be such a day of mixed emotions. Sending much love to a very lovely lady, who is brave enough to share with others the times she has encountered. #PosrsFromTheHeart
Thank you so much, it’s always hard but it’s also a reminder of how lucky I am. xxx
Heartbreakingly honest and beautifully written as usual. Thank you for sharing cc
#postsfromtheheart
Thank you so much Ruth. xxx
I am a sobbing, ugly crying mess after reading this,
Brings back the anguish and I was a very early miscarrier.
Oh Kristin I’m so sorry for your loss, and that I made you cry. Huge hugs and so much love to you. xxxxx