Dear Keyboard Warrior

Dear Keyboard Warrior,

When you messaged me this week, in response to a post which took a great deal of guts to share, I’ll be honest, I felt sick to my stomach. When you told me that I sounded ungrateful, that I appeared dissatisfied with the four healthy children I have, I won’t lie to you, it hurt. But when you asked me “Why are you harping on about your son when he has been dead for twelve years”, you simply made me angry.

And whilst I wasn’t going to retaliate, and whilst I didn’t want you to know how much your words had hurt me, I’ve been brewing it over for four long days and I can’t keep it in any longer. Because actually, your comment was so completely vile that I had no choice but to respond to you, to have you read this and perhaps feel ashamed of your actions, to maybe think twice before targeting other bereaved parents with such utterly abhorrent comments in the future.

You see I wasn’t aware that there was a cut off point when you must stop talking about your children. I didn’t realise there was a limited amount of time before you must cease to mention them, regardless of whether they are here in our arms, or not.

I wasn’t aware that speaking about your child with love and affection, or even with remorse and regret, was deemed to be “harping on”, or that sharing my story and raising awareness was anything other than a positive and supportive thing to do.

I assume from your message that you have never lost a child, pardon me if I’m wrong. Because, any parent who has lost a child in this way will agree that speaking about them and sharing our story is pretty much all we have. We don’t have a lifetime of memories or anecdotes to relay, we don’t have countless albums bursting with photos or hours of video footage to share, we don’t have holiday snaps and Christmas mornings, special milestones and birthday parties, we don’t have anything more than our pregnancy and birth. And I appreciate that perhaps those stories can become a little repetitive, I wish I had more to share with you so as not to offend you with twelve years of harping on;  I would give just about anything to have more than those twenty four hours and a lifetime of regrets. But I don’t, and that’s pretty tragic wouldn’t you agree?

And whilst you may find my posts irritating, or offensive, many find them inspiring and comforting. Just this week my in-box has been flooded with messages from those who have lost a child who tell me, thank you, that they feel completely the same way. Just this week I have spoken with others who are supporting a friend, or a family member, going through the same terrible ordeal, who tell me that my post really made a difference during the worst time of their loved ones life. Just this week I have been overwhelmed by love and support from the many wonderful people who have taken my little doves to heart, who hold my son in their thoughts each day, who feel nothing but sadness that Joseph isn’t here to share in our lives, and in our joy, with our four little miracles.

Because although you told me that I appear ungrateful, and even questioned whether I like my children at all, let me tell you, I love each of then an infinite amount. There isn’t a single moment of every day when I don’t pinch myself that they are really mine to keep, when I don’t thank God that we were blessed with four of the most amazing, fascinating and incredibly beautiful children you could ever meet. And whilst I don’t have to justify myself to you, “Kel”, I want you to know that telling any Mother she appears ungrateful, is incredibly hurtful.

I don’t know if you have children or not, I like to think you don’t given how oblivious you seem to the hardships that us parents go through on a daily basis. But I imagine if you did, that should I take away one of those children, you’d feel pretty devastated too. You’d feel all kinds of pain and anger, a whole range of jealousy and desperation, your entire world turned upside down, your heart completely broken. And you too would know that regardless of how many children you have left in your arms, that will never be enough.

And, just so you know, whether a month has gone by, or twenty long years have passed, I will continue to not only think about my son, but to speak about him too. On every birthday, every Christmas, every Monday or Friday, every moment of every day, I will think about him.

On his seventeenth birthday I will imagine him trawling the Autotrader looking for his first car, on his eighteenth birthday I will cringe at the state he may have been in, crawling in drunk after his first legal night out with the boys. Every birthday, every year, I will imagine how he would have transformed into the most handsome young man, imagining the career path he would have taken, the hearts he would have broken, the life he would have built.

On Lewis’s wedding day, as we sit at the front of the aisle, the proudest parents in all the world, I will look up at my son and imagine the best man that would have stood beside him, the private jokes they would have shared, the brotherly banter, an affectionate pat on the back and a wink back at his old mum. When I become a Grandparent for the very first time, when I am surrounded by little ones at my feet and noisy chatter in my ears, I will imagine the grandchildren who would have been, the Father he would have been.

And whilst I am sure I will have a wonderful life, filled with love and laughter in a world that is ever changing, one thing will always remain the same. I will “harp on about my son” until the day I die. Because like it or not, I will continue to share our story in the hope that in twelve years time, fewer women are sitting where I am now missing a son who would undoubtedly have been just as wonderful as his brothers and sisters.

Just one word of advice to you – the hardest thing a Mother can ever go through in life is to live each day without her child. Please don’t make mine or anyone else’s journey any harder than it needs to be.

Laura

 

 

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162 Comments

  1. robin rue
    April 12, 2018 / 11:38 am

    I swear some people have NOTHING better to do than to sit on the internet and troll other people. Why do people have to make others feel bad for sharing stuff that’s important to them. I will never get it.

    • Laura Dove
      April 12, 2018 / 11:43 am

      Thank you Robin, I genuinely have no clue! xx

  2. candy
    April 12, 2018 / 11:49 am

    Why are people so hurtful. Anytime you lose a loved one no matter the circumstances it is painful and they are and will always be a part of your life. Talking about all your children should be natural.

  3. April 12, 2018 / 12:16 pm

    People that hide behind a screen are just cowards. To publicly write about something personal takes strength and courage. Wether it was yesterday or 12 years ago, your child will always and forever be your child

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:49 pm

      Thank you so much. xxx

  4. April 12, 2018 / 12:26 pm

    I am sorry you got a cruel email. People are such jerks these days, especially when they are sitting behind a keyboard. I doubt they’d ever say something like that to your face. I’ve gotten some mean comments too, and I always have to wonder about the person who leaves them. They must be terribly unhappy.

    I am sorry for your loss and I know you’ll feel it forever. I can’t even imagine that pain.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:49 pm

      Thank you so much Amber, you’re so right. xx

  5. April 12, 2018 / 12:58 pm

    Oh Laura, I’m so so sorry you had to read a message like that, I’m so angry for you. It’s completely natural to write and talk about our children and I have no idea why that would bother anyone. I hope you’re ok xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:48 pm

      Thank you Katy, it was so hurtful but I feel better for writing this! xx

  6. April 12, 2018 / 1:08 pm

    Wow. I am just so shocked that anyone could be so heartless. Unless you’ve experienced the loss of a child you’ll never know just how much and how long it hurts for. You are so brave to speak out.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:48 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  7. Terri Beavers
    April 12, 2018 / 1:31 pm

    Bless you and I just don’t even know what to say about the heartless individual who this is directed to. When people are unhappy and unsuccessful in their lives, they strike out at anyone they can over any reason they can. It’s sad that in our day and time a mother has to defend herself in regards to a loss that is unimaginable.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:47 pm

      Thank you so much Terri. xxx

  8. April 12, 2018 / 1:41 pm

    I am so sorry that somebody sent you something like this… I can’t even imagine: why? How? What’s the point? This article is spot-on and I am sending you all the love and energy to you right now.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:47 pm

      Thank you so much Kelly. xx

  9. April 12, 2018 / 1:45 pm

    Losing a child is unimaginably painful! I would do the same as you. I would talk about them and harp on it for as long as I want. That is definitely something you should never worry about talking about. This is your child that you lost and there’s no reason why you should not be able to talk about them throughout your entire life.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:47 pm

      Thank you so much Jeanette. xx

  10. April 12, 2018 / 2:01 pm

    I’m sorry that someone could be so mean to send you an email like that. I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, people have feelings and everyone grieves differently.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:46 pm

      Thank you Tasheena. xx

  11. April 12, 2018 / 2:37 pm

    OMG I’m so angry right now. I can’t imagine the level of your anger if mine is this high. How dare she send you such an email. However, it’s typical of these keyboard warriors to hide behind emails. They seriously have nothing better to do with their time. And in all seriousness, if she doesn’t want to read about Joseph or someone’s losing a child she should just f*** off with herself (pardon my language but I’m so angry). Your blog has helped so many people during the loss of a child and don’t ever let a small-minded horror of a human being stop you from continuing to be a pillar of support to so many people and families. Jog on “Kel”!

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:46 pm

      Thank you so much Cath, you are so lovely and supportive! It’s crazy isn’t it? Just scroll on by if you don’t like it!! xz

  12. lisalisa
    April 12, 2018 / 5:18 pm

    OMGosh, how cruel and for what reason….none! I don’t understand people lords knows I really don’t! I don’t care what anyone says I’ll always talk about my child as long as I want. That person is unhappy and a heartless person but, you don’t let them stop you. Hold your head up and speak about your child anytime you wish. May God Bless you and watch over you and keep you from those who have an agenda to hurt you.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:45 pm

      Thank you so much Lisa. xx

  13. April 12, 2018 / 5:27 pm

    I apologise on behalf of that vile person to insult or question the love for your children and your words and actions. It’s horrible. You are amazing. I wish great things for you and your family.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:45 pm

      Thank you so much Nisha. xx

  14. April 12, 2018 / 5:42 pm

    Oh no, I am sorry someone has been so hurtful. many of us have no idea of what you have been through and you are so brave to share it, to make others aware, and supported.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:45 pm

      Thank you Sonia. xx

  15. April 12, 2018 / 6:08 pm

    I am not sure how anyone could be so heartless. I feel nothing but pure sadness along with admiration for you when I read your posts and I am at a loss at how anyone could feel anything else. This person is obviously very unhappy and they deserve our sympathy – it must be horrible to be so bitter and jealous that they only way they can get attention or make an impression is by being wickedly cruel. I am so glad you wrote this – I hope it made you feel a teeny little bit better, too?

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:45 pm

      Thank you, yes it did. I feel like I have had my say and moved on. xxx

  16. jayne thornhill
    April 12, 2018 / 6:09 pm

    I am also shocked someone could be so cruel and thoughtless. Lots of love to you all Laura xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:44 pm

      Thank you Jayne. xxx

  17. Tracey Abrahams
    April 12, 2018 / 6:12 pm

    I’m so sorry you had to write this post. You shouldn’t have to deal with the spiteful underbelly of the Internet. I read your post last week and was awed by your honesty (as I have been so often before). I didn’t comment on it because it wasn’t a subject I had experience of.
    However alrhough I cant empathise I still have enough understanding and sympathy to know what that woman said to you was heartless and very wrong.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:44 pm

      Thank you so much Tracey, I really appreciate that. xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:44 pm

      Thank you xxx

  18. April 12, 2018 / 6:17 pm

    OMG Laura I’m in shock.

    I can’t believe someone is so petty as to have messaged this…..well I’m not surprised but I am shocked.

    As a Mum to 5 baby angels I will never ever forget then, no matter how much time passes and to be so hurtful just sucks.

    Sorry you had to read that horrid message
    X

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:43 pm

      Thank you so much Clare. xx

  19. Hazel Anderson
    April 12, 2018 / 6:20 pm

    I have never lost a child, I’ve been told that he only had 20 mins to live and that was the most horrific time in my life, I still talk about that day and it was 14 yrs ago so I’d hate to think what she would say about me.

    I hope you can ignore the keyboard warriors from now on. X

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:43 pm

      Oh wow that must have been horrific Hazel. Much love. xx

  20. April 12, 2018 / 6:22 pm

    How disgusting, I am truly sorry for you ever having to receive such a foul and disgusting message. God knows why there are people out in the world like that and would even think let alone write such cruel things.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:43 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  21. April 12, 2018 / 6:25 pm

    I am so sorry for you getting such people coming on you, honestly I never understand how someone would sit amd decide to write something hurtful in the expense of someone else’s feelings. All I can say it ignore such comments or emails and don’t bother even talking about them.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:43 pm

      Thank you Joan. xx

  22. April 12, 2018 / 6:55 pm

    Don’t listen to those ugly trolls. There are some people who write negative comments just to make you even more miserable. I can see why your upset though. As a mom, I couldn’t imagine if I lost a child. My kids mean everything to me and I love watching them grow. Your an amazing mother and woman for sharing your story. A grieving mom may see your story and hang on to it knowing she isn’t alone during a dark period of her life. I know people who have personally lost children and they too feel the same way you do. Each birthday is a moment of remembrance and dreaming of the moment when you will see them again.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:42 pm

      Than you so much, that is exactly why I write – to help others feeling the same way feel a little less alone. xx

  23. April 12, 2018 / 7:07 pm

    One of my best friends is finally going to have her first bay after over 12 miscarriages. Each and everyone of those crushed her. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have no right to mourn your baby.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:42 pm

      Ooh I am so pleased that she is having her rainbow, although so sad for her losses. I relate to that absolutely. Much love. xx

  24. Miranda
    April 12, 2018 / 7:10 pm

    This was so well said. Beautiful words about your son, you had me in tears. ❤️ xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:41 pm

      Ahh Miranda, thank you. xx

  25. Laura: Adventures with J
    April 12, 2018 / 7:31 pm

    A perfect response; so composed and respectful. Clearly the person who could say such things is not a parent. At least, I truly hope not. They are attention seekers and cowards. What you do through your writing keeps people going in their darkest of days and it helps them take steps and breath. Thank you.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:41 pm

      Thank you Laura, you are so lovely. xx

  26. April 12, 2018 / 7:51 pm

    So sorry to hear that you’ve had such a devastating comment left. I just can’t understand how these few haters would want to fill their lives with such hate and negativity. You’re inspiring so many and doing Joseph proud. Xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:40 pm

      Ahh Charlotte, thank you so much. xx

  27. April 12, 2018 / 8:46 pm

    I just can’t fathom what would cause someone to write that email to you. I am so sorry that you had to read it, and you have written such a dignified response which would have been beyond me.
    I am so glad to hear that your inbox has been filled with those message of love and support, and I hope that this one awful email is the last one you have to read!

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:40 pm

      Thank you Jenni, I have been so lucky that there has been nothing but positive and supportive comments from others, it definitely spurs me on. xx

  28. April 12, 2018 / 9:47 pm

    I have absolutely no clue why someone feels the need to write such a vile email to you. If they didn’t want to read your story or felt that way, no one was making them read it. The fact that they have said such cruel things to someone who has already been through such heartbreak is infuriating! It is comments like that that can make people feel they need to not talk about their babies, when they do. Who says their is a time limit for grieving? They’re wrong! xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:39 pm

      Thank you Jo. I guess some people just can’t scroll by and say nothing. Very sad. xx

  29. April 12, 2018 / 10:00 pm

    I just cannot believe anyone could ever think to write such a thing. I just don’t get what may have been going through their head I am so sorry.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:39 pm

      Thank you Sarah, nor me. xx

  30. April 12, 2018 / 10:43 pm

    I am sorry you had to receive such a hurtful email. The hardest thing for a parent is to live without one of their kids. I am sorry for your loss, and you can take all the time you need to process the experience.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:38 pm

      Thank you so much Jenn. xx

  31. April 13, 2018 / 1:46 am

    I really wish this person just kept her opinion to herself. It’s one thing to be ungrateful and it’s another to honor one’s memory. I think you’re an inspiration to many and a voice for those who have lost a child too. It’s not easy to share this publicly but you still did so that you could raise awareness and inspire others. How is that a bad thing? I’m not sure how this person think but she should definitely lay off parents who are grieving the loss of their child.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:38 pm

      Thank you Alison. Usually I would say nothing but it’s very hard sometimes, especially if they continue to say hurtful things to bereaved parents. I hope they read this and felt ashamed. xx

  32. Hannah Marie
    April 13, 2018 / 5:15 am

    I sure hope whoever is that reads this and apologize. Your story and voice has inspired and is inspiring others.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:37 pm

      Thank you Hannah. xx

  33. April 13, 2018 / 6:50 am

    I can’t believe that someone actually told you that! How rude and inconsiderate. Good for you to answer in this post. It must have been so painful. Sometimes, people don’t fully understand the situation and make silly remarks. Not worth your time in my opinion.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:36 pm

      Thank you so much lovely. xx

  34. April 13, 2018 / 7:01 am

    Terrible… its hard online, but I have had face to face “friends” make similar comments. Boy did it get to me.
    Its is ignorance like this that makes talking about anything around stillbirth and loss so taboo. Well done… another excellent post x

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:35 pm

      Oh me too Mary, and that’s even harder isn’t it? This is why we need to talk about it even more so there are fewer ignorant people out there. xxx

  35. April 13, 2018 / 7:27 am

    Losing a child is I think the most painful. No advice, no words, no amount of hugs can ease the pain! When my sister died of measles, many told my mom, “Don’t be sad, she’s an angel now.” I saw my mom even cried like a baby, the pain is immeasurable, to her, that’s the worst advice! She’s not ready to let go of her little one! Even if she’ll be an angel in heaven.. Not that moment!

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:30 pm

      Oh wow I am so sorry to hear that Vian. So much love to you. xxxx

  36. April 13, 2018 / 8:08 am

    Trolls and keyboard warriors are something I can’t comprehend. Mostly it seems to be jealousy but here there is just no rhyme pr reason for being so vile.
    You’re a wonderful mum and nobody else should tell you when it’s ok or not ok to talk about losing a child. Xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:30 pm

      Thank you Fran, I think sometimes people just try to be deliberately hurtful. How sad that is. xx

  37. April 13, 2018 / 9:43 am

    What a vile human being! How could anyone tell you to stop harping on about your own child! Honestly I can’t actually write much here because it would not be pleasant. I can only say that you must, however hard, ignore this person as your son is the only thing that matters and the fact that you all remember him is what is important. Not some random person who probably gets some kind of kick from being mean behind a keyboard. Lots of love hun xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:29 pm

      Thank you so much Kristie, that’s so lovely of you to comment. xxx

  38. April 13, 2018 / 11:17 am

    Nobody has the right to tell someone how to grieve. NOBODY! People overstep their boundaries and I just don’t understand how they feel like they can tell someone else how to live. This was your child and you can talk about them all you want.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:28 pm

      Thank you Mimi, its like telling someone not to speak about their living child! Madness!

  39. April 13, 2018 / 12:30 pm

    I don’t understand why anyone would send you a nasty message. If they don’t like a what a blog post is written about DON’T READ IT!! it’s simple! We all grieve in different ways and your blog helps so many people in the same situation and is your outlet to express yourself. Ignore and move on x

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:28 pm

      Thank you Kara, exactly that!!! xx

  40. April 13, 2018 / 1:30 pm

    Harping…wow. I sometimes wonder where the meanness from other people come from. But keep going, momma. You are a beautiful person.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:27 pm

      Thank you so much Sigrid. xxx

  41. April 13, 2018 / 2:06 pm

    I didn’t see your post about losing your child but this ‘thing’ that made that horrible comment needs to shut the hell up. I wasn’t lucky enough to have children but I can’t imagine your grief. I have a friend whose son was killed at work two years ago and she is still distraught. I don’t blame her. To me losing a child, parent, sibling, or a very dear friend is like losing a part of yourself. Love is such a strong emotion. It bonds us beyond death but some people don’t understand that. I’m so sorry about your baby! Sending you hugs and support.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:27 pm

      Thank you so much Gisele, there is no time limit on grief and nor should there be. xx

  42. April 13, 2018 / 2:10 pm

    I had a gulp in my throat reading this one, life/people can be so cruel at times x

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:26 pm

      Thank you Melanie. xx

  43. April 13, 2018 / 2:10 pm

    There are SO many keyboard warriors out there. Too many people have insane control issues over ridiculous things that’s for sure. Not sure why people feel the need to be jerks.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:26 pm

      Wayyyy too many Nancy! xx

  44. April 13, 2018 / 2:18 pm

    This woman clearly doesn’t know what she’s saying. It’s so rude and very insensitive. I’m glad you posted this though, because it’s better than just simply staying quiet. It’s important that you share this to the world because it will serve as an inspiration, as a message to others who are hearing the same things that they’re not wrong for feeling this at all. I love how you honor your son’s memory and how you talk about him as much as you can.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:26 pm

      Thank you Carol. I really appreciate that, it means a lot. xxx

  45. Jessica Taylor
    April 13, 2018 / 2:31 pm

    People are so cruel! Especially people over the internet who don’t know you from adam! So sorry that you had to deal with that!

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:25 pm

      Thanks Jessica! xx

  46. Jeanine
    April 13, 2018 / 2:37 pm

    Wow. How awful. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. People are miserable and feel the NEED to project if. It’s sickening and hiding behind a computer is such a cowardly way to go about these things. People have no filter and don’t care.

    Sorry you had to deal with this. But – it’s more about the person than you. They need help.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:25 pm

      Thank you, you are right. It says more about them that’s for sure. xx

  47. April 13, 2018 / 3:37 pm

    Good grief! I’m so sorry that you’ve even had to write this post. Some people have obviously never learnt or heard of the phrase “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all”. Please keep sharing your heart, and I for one don’t think you’ve ever come across ungrateful, but rather an adoring mother.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:24 pm

      Thank you so much Vanessa. xxx

  48. Louise
    April 13, 2018 / 4:07 pm

    This is awful I can’t believe someone would be so horrible! Keep on writing for you and ignore them xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:24 pm

      Thank you Louise. xx

  49. April 13, 2018 / 7:36 pm

    Sorry you had to write this post it always amazes me how some people can be so insensitive. You should never have to stop sharing your story and the passing of time will never change that and nor should it x

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:23 pm

      Thank you, don’t you worry I won’t! xx

  50. April 13, 2018 / 7:50 pm

    People should be supporting you in your journey of loss and grief. I hope that you don’t let it bother you. It is hard to put yourself out there, especially when people can’t be nice.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:23 pm

      Thank you Marysa. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:23 pm

      Thank you .x xx

  51. April 13, 2018 / 9:12 pm

    It always amazes me how insensitive people can be when they’re behind a computer. My heart goes out to all those who feel the need to be rude to others behind a computer screen.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:22 pm

      Thank you Dana. xxx

  52. April 13, 2018 / 10:12 pm

    So much easier to say insulting things behind the computer screen. Saying it to someones face takes more courage

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:22 pm

      Yes! Which is why they never do! xx

  53. April 13, 2018 / 11:12 pm

    I am sorry to how harsh others have been during this time for you. Whenever I have gotten rude comments I try not to let what they said affect me and move on.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:21 pm

      Thank you, that’s a great attitude to have. xx

  54. April 14, 2018 / 12:52 am

    So sorry that happened. I have several friends who have lost children, and it is a life-changing thing. I’m sorry that you had to experience that hurtful comment. xo

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:21 pm

      Thank you Terri. xxx

  55. April 14, 2018 / 4:48 am

    Oh Laura I am so sorry to hear this! Some people are just awful, horrid people with nothing better to do! Hopefully they read this and realise what a vile person they are! Sending you hugs! xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:21 pm

      Thank you Siobhan, much appreciated. xx

  56. April 14, 2018 / 6:22 am

    I hope they read this and feel sick to THEIR stomach. What a thing to say. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to lose a child but my god – I know I would never ever stop thinking about them. So angry for you!!

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:20 pm

      Thank you Katy. Sadly I think people like that just don’t care, but I had to respond! xx

  57. April 14, 2018 / 8:39 am

    People are so using this platform internet in spreading hate and effecting the emotions of other people without even thinking twice . I’m glad you tackled it very well and moved on . People like that don’t deserve your attention.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:20 pm

      Thank you, its just become so easy to them hasn’t it? Just so sad really! cx

  58. April 14, 2018 / 1:50 pm

    Wow. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this. I can’t believe people could write those words to you. I love that you talk of your son, thank you for sharing your story and please don’t ever stop.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:20 pm

      Thank you Nichola, I won’t! xx

  59. April 14, 2018 / 3:49 pm

    I can’t believe that anyone said these kinds of things to you as that’s horrible to say. Please don’t take what they said to heart as you talking about your real experiences is no doubt such a help to so many people x

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:19 pm

      Thank you so much Rhian. xx

  60. April 14, 2018 / 9:53 pm

    Hi Laura,

    It’s sad how other’s can be insensitive to someone else’s loss, in the guise of free speech. I am a parent myself, a father of two teenagers. Though I have not loss s child, I can’t imagine how life would be for wifey and I. Parents are not suppose to bury their children.

    I have a blogger friend who also lost a son 14 years ago, and she kept on blogging about him every now and then (mostly on his death anniversary). This son is sometimes our topic offline, whenever we are together for a project. To her, that’s one way to cope up with the loss. She had moved on, but the dad have not completely done so.

    Keep on writing about your children and blog about your loss. There is nothing wrong about it, and its therapeutic. Besides, you write well :). *Hugs from me and wifey.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:16 pm

      Thank you so much. I think talking about our children is definitely part of the grieving process. It’s so important to keep their memory alive and sharing our story and speaking about them is a huge part of that. I’m so sorry about your friend. xx

  61. April 14, 2018 / 10:11 pm

    Who ever wrote those nasty comments, are either jealous or trying to get attention another way, albeit at your expense. Which is quite a bad way of going about it. I guess these people need to get a life and stop trolling others for 15minutes and get a real life. Trolls, who needs them.

    John M

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:15 pm

      Thanks John, it’s the biggest downside to blogging! xx

  62. Soffy
    April 15, 2018 / 7:03 am

    I’m astonished that someone can stoop at such a low level. I’m sorry you had to read that rubbish but I’m so proud of your response. Thank you for speaking up for all of us xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:14 pm

      Thank you so much. xxx

  63. April 15, 2018 / 8:12 am

    Gosh, some people in this world just really don’t deserve to be in it, how can you say such a thing to a mum whose lost a child. Harping on, like really? Wow, Laura thanks for always sharing about Joseph, I always enjoy reading your posts even though it might be painful for you I hope it is also therapeutics.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:14 pm

      Thank you so much Anosa. xxx

  64. April 15, 2018 / 9:03 am

    I can not believe that anyone would question you or tell you how to grieve. To tell you how to speak about your loss shocks me. To lose a child at any stage isn’t something I’ve ever had to deal with. And I hope to God I never have to. The strength I see from parents such as yourself is one I greatly admire but with a feeling of sadness that permeates my body. I can not imagine how I would ever pick myself up and continue in the same situation. But that’s why your story (however old it is) is so important. Because someone out there is going through the start of it all right now. And your words and your way of continuing shows that there is something else to hold on to during those darkest days.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:14 pm

      Thank you so much, I really do appreciate that. xxx

  65. April 15, 2018 / 9:38 am

    I’m shocked at peoples attitude, we must never forget Laura. Brilliant reply. Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:13 pm

      Thank you Nige, I won’t ever stop sharing. xx

  66. April 15, 2018 / 12:07 pm

    It’s really sad how some people aim to hurt others. I tend to just ignore trolls. As said commonly on the internet, “don’t feed the trolls.” They are usually terrible people who are unhappy with their own lives.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:11 pm

      Yes me too but sometimes I just can’t bite my tongue! xx

  67. April 15, 2018 / 2:02 pm

    I am sorry that someone who hid behind things and told you a horrible thing about just getting over the loss of a child. That would be such a terrible thing to do. What’s really sad is that this message will never resonate with the person and they will probably hurt others.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:11 pm

      Thank you David, I think you’re right sadly. xx

  68. Dannii
    April 15, 2018 / 5:03 pm

    The fact that they did it from a random account says it all. We all feel things differently and that’s okay.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:10 pm

      Thank you Dannii, I totally agree. xx

  69. Jessica T
    April 16, 2018 / 1:16 am

    I have no words to express how awful a thing that was for some stranger to say to you. It’s so unfortunate how many people there are out there who use the fact they can hide behind a computer to be complete jerks

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:06 pm

      Thank you, I totally agree! xx

  70. Jemma
    April 16, 2018 / 9:52 am

    How horrible for you! People can be so horrible behind a screen. Thankfully the number of good people outweighs the bad!

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:04 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  71. April 16, 2018 / 10:50 am

    How dare she? I’m so cross on your behalf. Good for you for your dignified response and please don’t ever think the rest of us feel the same way. Please continue to share.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:03 pm

      Thank you so much Jen. xx

  72. April 16, 2018 / 5:59 pm

    Wow, thanks for being so open and candid in talking about this. I might also add that you’re a great writer and communicator.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 6:01 pm

      Thank you Christopher! xx

  73. Jess
    April 16, 2018 / 9:24 pm

    I’m so sad that this post even exists. People are so desperate to get under other’s skin, it’s cringe-worthy isn’t it? Like imagine behind that much of a sour-puss you’re willing to slag someone off for mourning. Can you picture them lurking over their keyboard in an unwashed dressing gown thinking they’re clever? What utter scumbags.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 5:56 pm

      Me too, it’s sad isn’t it but I felt better for writing it! And yes!! You are so right! xx

  74. April 17, 2018 / 8:51 am

    What amazes me is this person cannot have come across your post by accident, something in the topic has piqued their interest and they opened it up. Read through it. And then proceeded to diss you, in a most horrible manner. People eh? Like those clowns who pick lout a lovely beach, set up their lovely picnic, enjoy the lovely sand and the lovey sea … and then either leave their rubbish on the beach after them, or scatter it all into the bushes on their way back to the car! Unbelievable. Look there will always be idiots. Be mad for a moment and let it go. Thing is no evil bastard thinks they are an evil bastard, so little point engaging really. Let them know what you think, by all means, but move on. You have to. #DreamTeam

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 5:50 pm

      Thank you Enda, it was therapeutic to write this but don’t worry, I have fully moved on from it! Its crazy that there are people like this out there, I actually feel incredibly sorry for them for being so hateful. xx

  75. April 17, 2018 / 10:54 am

    What an utter, utter, utter … It’s a big Internet, if you don’t like someone or don’t want to read something, then that’s what the back button and scroll bar are for! What sort of person takes the time and effort to find an email address and then compose an email like that. And then thinks it’s a good idea to send it?! I honestly think that some people think what they say on the Internet doesn’t count, that there isn’t another person there so they can say what they like without any consequences. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face or be unhappy about it being on a billboard outside your house with your face and name next to it, then don’t say it. (This is one of the reasons I have Twitter holidays regularly. It’s so easy to get carried away and say something horrid).

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 5:48 pm

      Thank you, exactly, it’s crazy isn’t it? I feel sad that there are people like this out there but we do have to remember that there are some lovely people out there too! xx

  76. April 17, 2018 / 12:33 pm

    Oh my! Why in the world would someone say something like that. That is saddening. That’s one con about sharing things about your life on the World Wide Web. But your story is truly touching, that person should have been grateful to get to read that post about you. But be sure to let off some steam then forgive and forget, some people were raised that way I guess. I will always be on your side! I love your blog. Don’t forget to smile. Thanks for sharing.

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 5:46 pm

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. xxx

  77. April 17, 2018 / 4:49 pm

    Oh Laura! That’s so terrible. Some people are so horrid. Please try to give any attention to this troll. I’m so sorry you had to feel that anger. Take care. #dreamteam

    • Laura Dove
      April 17, 2018 / 5:42 pm

      Thank you Sophie, its sad that people feel the need to do this. xx

  78. April 17, 2018 / 6:16 pm

    people say cruel and very hurtful things sat behind a keyboard, your brave posts are so important to you but also for other families to not feel alone. #dreamteam

  79. April 17, 2018 / 11:28 pm

    I am gobsmacked that anyone could have been so horrid. I know your pain will never leave and that you will use it in the most productive way that you can. Shame on that person. Karma baby…

    • Laura Dove
      April 18, 2018 / 9:01 am

      Thank you so much Shelley. xx

  80. April 18, 2018 / 5:45 pm

    I am so sorry that you even had to withstand such a horror of a remark. Our world is in dire need of empathy, and you will always have mine. xo #ThatFridayLinky xoxo

  81. kim
    April 20, 2018 / 1:56 am

    I hate to hear that you’re receiving hurtful emails. I truly don’t understand the meanness of some people. I hope you’re able to move on from this.

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