Things I want my sons to know

With Lewis’s thirteenth birthday last week and Harry’s third birthday next month, I have reluctantly accepted the fact that my boys are growing fast. And although, as the youngest, Harry has a way to go before I prepare to let him go, I know that in just a few years time Lewis will be completely independent, forging his own path, and living his own life. And that thought terrifies me!

Last year I wrote a post Things I want my daughters to know, with the intention that one day I would do the same for my boys. And so here they are, the things I want my sons to know.

It’s okay to cry.

Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, nor something to feel ashamed of, it’s a sign that you are strong enough to express your emotions. Whether you’re sad or happy, scared or proud, if you feel a lump in your throat and tears pricking at your eyes, let them out.

Walk away.

It’s harder to take a punch than to throw one, and that one punch could have the most devastating of consequences. If ever there’s a situation where things are getting out of control, if you feel in your gut that things aren’t going to end well, walk away and be the bigger man.

Learn to have fun without alcohol.

The chances are, alcohol will feature in your lives as you grow, from a few pints with the lads after football, all day binges ending in the kebab shop at 5am, a bottle of red after a stressful day in the office. And it’s okay to have a drink every now and then, we all need a blow out sometimes, but don’t let your entire social life revolve around alcohol. Don’t get to a point where you’re only way of letting loose is with the aid of a few beers, don’t let alcohol feature so heavily in your life that ultimately, you forget how to have fun without it.

Talk about it.

Whatever it is, talk about it. Whether it’s a problem at work, an issue with a friend, marriage woes, money trouble, health concerns or family matters, talk about it. Know that there is nothing you could tell me that would shock me, nothing that myself or your Dads haven’t experienced before, nothing that could ever make me think of you differently. Talk about it, to me, your Dads, your wife, your friends, a counsellor, a random stranger at the bus stop, just get it out. Don’t ever let your troubles eat away at you.

There is more to life than being handsome.

You are both, undoubtedly, the most handsome of boys, and I have no doubt at all that you will make the most handsome of men, but there is more to life than looking good. Don’t succumb to the pressure to slog it out in the gym for the biggest muscles or the best six pack, be healthy, take care of yourself, but always remember that beauty lies on the inside.

Be kind.

It’s very easy to retaliate when someone is mean towards you, it’s very easy to say things in anger or to lash out in pain, but don’t. Bite your tongue, hold your head up high and be a good person. Remember that for every word said in “banter”, there is always truth at the heart of it. Be kind, even when it’s really hard to, because the spoken word can never be taken back, and your words can leave a lasting imprint on others, long after you’ve forgotten they were ever said.

It’s okay to be afraid.

The two of you are so fearless right now, so brave and independent, and yet as intrepid as you are, it’s okay to be scared sometimes. No matter how many years pass, or as old as you are, there is nothing wrong with admitting that you are afraid, and if you ever need someone to hold your hand, I’m right here, always.

Women are complicated.

You’ll find this out for yourself over time, but women are complex characters. Sometimes we say yes when we mean no, sometimes we flip out for no apparent reason, sometimes we expect you to be mind readers and give you the silent treatment when you don’t get it right. We can be irrational, hormonal, erratic and down right crazy, you have so much to learn and yet here’s one word of advice – if she ever asks you if she looks fat? Tell her, without a moments hesitation, that she looks wonderful as always.

Love with all your heart.

If you fall in love, do it whole heartedly. There is nothing more wonderful than getting to know someone, falling in love, looking into their eyes and seeing your whole future mapped out. Don’t be afraid of it, don’t build up walls or try to shut off your heart. If you find love, hold onto it and even if you have your heart broken, which you undoubtedly will, learn from it, move on, and love just as fiercely as before.

Be domesticated.

Learn to make your bed, do the dishes, work the washing machine and put the toilet seat down. Learn to iron your own shirts, change a lightbulb, cook meals from scratch and clean the bathroom. Your future wife will thank you for it.

Be proud of yourself.

Always be proud of who you are and if someone doesn’t like it, let it be their problem and not yours. As long as you stay true to who you are, you will always be content. Be the best version of you that you can be, nobody will ever do it better.

Children are a lifelong commitment.

If you’re not ready for a child, take appropriate precautions. I’m certainly not ready to be a Grandparent for a good few years yet so take your time, wait until your ready, and when you do become a Father, give it everything you’ve got. Until then, be careful!

Look out for your sisters.

Take care of them, look out for them as they grow, give me the low down on their boyfriends and tell your mates to keep their grubby mitts off them! At the same time, watch out for each other, stay in touch, get together often, reminisce about your childhood, remember that there is no bond quite like that of a sibling.

Always visit your Grandparents.

You are so lucky to have three sets of Grandparents between you, all of whom love you extraordinary amounts. Find the time to visit them, take your Nanna flowers, ask your Grandad out to the pub for a pint. Kiss them goodbye, tell them you love them, brighten their day simply by letting them know that you’re thinking of them.

Do what makes you happy.  

Do what makes you happy whether it makes others happy or not. Sometimes in life you have to be selfish, even if that means hurting the ones you love. And if you can tell me, hand on your heart, that your choices make you happy, you will always have my full love and support.

Treat women well.

Chivalry is not dead, don’t ever let anyone ever tell you different. Hold that door open, pull out her chair, buy her flowers, hold her hand, tell her she’s beautiful, return her calls, and make her feel like the only woman in the world.

Be a nice guy.

Be a good friend, a good partner, a good colleague, be the man that your friends will call in a crisis or your girlfriends parents will welcome in with open arms, be the kind of guy that people look up to and respect, have others sing your praises when you’re not there. Fast cars and loose women might sound like fun but there is nothing wrong with having a clean license, a reliable motor and a good woman in your arms.

It’s okay to make mistakes.

Never be afraid to tell me if you have made a mistake, whatever it is, whatever you have done, never think that you can’t come to me and ask for help. We’ve all make mistakes, I’ve lost count of mine, and I will never be angry if you do the same. I may be disappointed, and I may not always like what you have done, but I will always be here, fighting your corner, encouraging you to learn from your mistakes and helping you to put them right.

You have always been enough.

I want you to know, that you have always been enough. As much as I love your brother, and as much as I wish that things could have been different, you two, you have always been enough. Never feel that you have lived in Joseph’s shadow, nor that any of my sadness reflects on the way that I feel about the two of you. I waited for such a long time to be able to call you my sons and you have completed my life in a way that I can never put into words.

I will always love you.

I hope that this goes without saying, but I will always love you, my two beautiful boys who have made my life so utterly wonderful. And when you find the love of your life, and you love that person with all that you have, keep a special place in your heart for your old Mum who loves you with every beat of mine.

 

 

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154 Comments

  1. April 24, 2017 / 1:30 pm

    Very sound advice! And beautiful photo 🙂 #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Laura Dove
      April 24, 2017 / 4:23 pm

      Thank you Tina. xx

  2. April 24, 2017 / 7:39 pm

    What a lovely post! Some great advice to your beautiful boys. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 8:17 am

      Thank you so much. xxx

  3. April 24, 2017 / 7:56 pm

    Ouch. Your stuff gets me every time! Such gorgeous words. Every boy should hear this! I particularly like the one on mistakes but it’s all fab.

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 8:16 am

      Thank you Sinead, that’s so kind of you to say. xxx

  4. April 24, 2017 / 8:37 pm

    Such a lovely post and agree with every single point for my two boys as well. Talking is so important and one of the ones I worry about the most, what if they stop telling me what is going on in their lives. It is terrifying to think they will be making their own way in the world at some point, but they will always have their mum and dad to support and guide them. And, yes I also agree that women are complicated lol! That is very true indeed. Great post hunni x

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 8:16 am

      Thank you Yvonne. I agree, that’s my biggest fear with all of my children, that they stop talking to me about all aspects of their lives. There has been a spate of suicides in our town this last couple of years, all young men who outwardly came across as happy and confident. It breaks my heart to think of anyone suffering in silence, but most of all my own children. xxx

  5. April 24, 2017 / 10:48 pm

    You’ve got a gorgeous family, and these are some lovely things to teach our sons. A superb read…
    #GlobalBlogging

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 8:14 am

      Thank you Nicole, they are gorgeous boys. xx

  6. Mackenzie Glanville
    April 25, 2017 / 12:32 am

    An incredible post, there are so many things we want our children to know, I remember when I was told I may not survive the birth of my third child I was so afraid of all the things I wouldn’t be there to teach my girls and if my baby survived what I would want him or her to know. I gave my hubby so many instructions and wrote letter to my kids. Thankfully I survived and now my baby is 7 and we are both healthy! These are all important messages Thanks for sharing them with #mg xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 8:13 am

      Ahh Mac that must have been incredibly hard for you, thank god you are all safe and well. I could have written this post all day long, there is so much that I want my children to know, I just hope that they take notice!! xx

  7. Mackenzie Glanville
    April 25, 2017 / 2:40 am

    Again , this is a wonderful post, stopping back by from #candidcuddles

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 8:12 am

      Thanks lovely. xx

      • Mackenzie Glanville
        April 27, 2017 / 9:27 am

        and again #SharingtheBlogLove

  8. April 25, 2017 / 10:15 am

    Such a lovely post. Those are great pieces of advice. I especially liked what you said about being kind.
    Kindness is such an easy behaviour to teach, if we are aware and lead by example. Help our children develop this very important social quality so that they may be inspirational to others and have a positive impact on the world.

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 11:23 am

      Thank you, you’re so right. Being kind is one of the most important lessons we can teach our children. xx

  9. April 25, 2017 / 10:31 am

    Good things to know, especially that you will always love them. 🙂 #TriumphantTales

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 11:23 am

      Thank you Amanda. xx

  10. April 25, 2017 / 1:36 pm

    How beautiful and you have clearly raised your sons right. Being able to be the bigger person and walk away is so important as is being ‘nice’. I agree us women are complicated but I hope that your sons will be able to experience what it is like to fall in love. I know I have never experienced it myself x

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 6:04 pm

      Thank you Ana. I so hope that they take my advice on board as they grow. I hope that you too will find love, he’s going to be a lucky man whoever he is. xxx

  11. April 25, 2017 / 2:06 pm

    So gorgeous Laura and I agree with everyone of them. I always try to encourage my children to be kind and to talk about it – any problem can be solved as long as you talk about it. #mg

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 6:03 pm

      Thanks Nat, I so hope that they keep talking to us, even when they hit their teens or have families of their own. There is no problem that us mums cant fix. xx

  12. April 25, 2017 / 3:09 pm

    Wonderful post. I am worried for my eldest son as he is so sensitive, thoughtful and helpful that I’m afraid he will be treated with contempt. Wise words that all boys should be told #dreamteam

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 6:02 pm

      Ahh I think being sensitive is an amazing quality to have, and I encourage that in both of my boys. I’m sure that your son will go far. xx

  13. Kiki
    April 25, 2017 / 3:17 pm

    I love this post! Your boys will make amazing husbands and Dads. They are going to know how to treat women/people in general and be role models to their own children. Well done you! Sounds like you are raising them right. I hope my daughter meets someone who is all of the above and can honour what you want to teach your boys xx #TriumphantTales

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 6:01 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. I have every confidence that they will become the most amazing young men, and my daughters the same. It’s so hard to raise children, we just have to give it our best shot! xx

  14. Laura - Autumn's Mummy
    April 25, 2017 / 5:56 pm

    I love all of this advice! I hate it when people encourage boys/men not to cry. It’s important that they have an emotional outlet too and, without meaning to get too heavy, I think men keeping things bottled up is why there’s such a problem of suicide in young men. #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 6:12 pm

      I completely agree. There has been a recent spate of suicides in our local area, all young men who outwardly had it all going for them. It’s such a worry, I hope that my children will always communicate with me. xx

  15. April 25, 2017 / 6:00 pm

    Wonderful post hun and if your boys listen to their mum they are going to grow up into amazing young men. I want my boys to know all of this too xx #twinklyTuesday

    • Laura Dove
      April 25, 2017 / 6:14 pm

      Thank you Wendy, I so hope that they do. xxx

  16. Nige
    April 25, 2017 / 7:52 pm

    Loving this another master class in writing laura and I 100% agree with every point I have taught my 18 year old son so many of those points. Women are complicated really haha! The female can be strange at times no doubts there. Absolutely love your posts Laura always a joy to read #dreamteam

    • Laura Dove
      April 26, 2017 / 8:55 am

      Thank you Michelle. xx

  17. April 25, 2017 / 8:44 pm

    #candidcuddles so perfect that i want to say to my son…

    To my son – do what she suggested, love Mummy. x

    • Laura Dove
      April 26, 2017 / 8:55 am

      Aww thank you. xx

  18. April 26, 2017 / 7:55 am

    Wonderful post. Very often I talk with my friends on this issue… Trying to shape our boys and girls to become good. Not only every parent but every adult (relatives, close family friends) have responsibility to prepare our children, our youth for this cruel world.

    • Laura Dove
      April 26, 2017 / 8:51 am

      I agree, its our job to raise these children to be good, decent human beings. It’s a hell of a responsibility! xx

  19. April 26, 2017 / 9:21 am

    Laura is it too early to cry? Firstly such a lovely picture of your boys and wonderful words of wisdom too, some which make me cry with laughter (women are complicated) and those which me cry reflecting on my own words to my 18 year old who will head off soon. That moment comes around so quickly and it is wonderful to treasure every one we have with our children before that time and send them off prepared for life and hopefully heeding our advice such as be domesticated and visit your grandparents. Thanks for sharing this. #postsfromtheheart

    • Laura Dove
      April 26, 2017 / 11:37 am

      Ahh thank you so much Jo. Wow 18, that terrifies me!! It’s possibly the hardest part of being a parent having to let them go, but if we can arm with the knowledge and skills they need to get it right in this world, we’ve done our job! Thank you so much for reading. xxx

  20. April 26, 2017 / 10:40 am

    This is beautiful. Very wise words you have for your lovely boys. I am sure they will grow up to be fine young men.
    #TriumphantTales

    • Laura Dove
      April 26, 2017 / 11:35 am

      Thank you Ali. I’m sure they will, it’s going to be lovely to find out. xx

  21. April 26, 2017 / 11:13 am

    Beautiful post darling and with a mum like you giving such solid advice I think they are going to turn out beautifully xoxo

    • Laura Dove
      April 26, 2017 / 11:35 am

      Thank you Talya, I do hope so. xxx

  22. April 26, 2017 / 1:30 pm

    So much wonderful advice shared here, all of which I hope to pass on to my son also. I really liked the inclusion of visiting Grandparents #TwinklyTuesday

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:47 pm

      Thank you Jade. I think boys especially can be guilty of forgetting to visit their grandparents, in my experience anyway, where as girls always seem to stay close no matter how old they get. I hope that my boys always make time for their grandparents, I’m sure they will. xx

  23. April 26, 2017 / 1:42 pm

    I don’t know how you do it Laura but every time I read your posts I feel moved to tears and it feels like one of the most beautiful things that I’ve read in forever. Your children are all so incredibly lucky and could never for one second doubt just how much they are loved and adored. A stunning gift for your little men to treasure always. Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:45 pm

      Ahh and your comments always make me feel a little choked! Thank you so much, I hope that one day my boys, and my girls, look back on my blog and feel all of those emotions, and know just how precious they are to me. xxx

  24. April 26, 2017 / 1:59 pm

    This is a beautiful post, and with a younger brother and lots of younger cousins, I want them to read and remember these things. Thank you!

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:43 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  25. April 26, 2017 / 3:23 pm

    I’m still working on having fun without alcohol. I usually end up working more instead of having fun though!

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:43 pm

      Hahah it took me a long time to work that one out! xx

  26. April 26, 2017 / 3:56 pm

    This post brought tears to my eyes. I have 4 boys and these are the same exact things I want them to know as well. Great advice and tips for sons. I especially love that it is okay to cry and be afraid. I also like the one that they can have fun without alcohol. And my favorites are to treat women well and to take care of their sisters. I am pregnant with a girl so I definitely want my boys to take care of their sister, too. Yeah, this post made me cry.

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:43 pm

      Aww thank you Jessica. Congratulations on your baby, I am sure that your boys will take great care of her. It’s such a hard job raising children, we just have to hope that we are doing it right! xx

  27. April 26, 2017 / 4:30 pm

    A beautiful post from a beautiful lady 🙂
    I was nodding away with agreement all through this post. I hope my boys will always be able to open up to their old mum too xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:41 pm

      Thank you so much. It’s so hard raising children, let’s hope they all follow our advice hey? xx

  28. April 26, 2017 / 5:58 pm

    Totally agree. Habits, values and Virtues created now will remain life long. Way to go..

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:40 pm

      Thank you Ravi. xx

  29. April 26, 2017 / 6:20 pm

    Aww what beautiful advice and never truer words spoken 🙂 Especially the one about crying – I hate it that boys/men think it’s a sign of weakness.

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:40 pm

      Me too, it’s so sad that many raise their boys to believe it to be true. xx

  30. April 26, 2017 / 7:04 pm

    What a beautiful. I love the fact that you are teaching your boys to be domesticated, it is very important in life to not rely on others.

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:40 pm

      Thank you. I really hope they take that on board!!!

  31. April 26, 2017 / 7:33 pm

    Such true words. If all the parents would see this way, there would be fewer children. What a wonderful family.

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:39 pm

      Thank you so much. xxx

  32. April 26, 2017 / 8:25 pm

    How sweet, I have three grandsons, I am going to share this with my children in hopes they will do these steps!

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:39 pm

      Ahh thank you Kathy. xx

  33. April 26, 2017 / 8:32 pm

    As a mummy to a 5yo boy this post made me feel very emotional! This is beautiful advice from a mummy who really loves her boys and is investing in their futures. I agree with every aspect of what you said – including the bit about girls!
    What a wonderful post
    #Twitter

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:39 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. God help our boys trying to figure out us women! xx

  34. April 26, 2017 / 11:57 pm

    Wow. Just wow. What an amazing family and life lessons. Your children are going to grow up with such self-confidence and kindness. Nice job. <3

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:37 pm

      Thank you so much Tonya. xx

  35. Ali Rost
    April 27, 2017 / 12:56 am

    Beautiful words .. I even teared up (just a little). Your two are so handsome .. those big brown eyes are going to make women swoon. I love that you ask them to look out for their sisters .. and your simple advice to always be kind. Way to go Mom .. I can tell you’re such a good one!

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:37 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. That’s so lovely of you to say, I hope that I am doing them proud. xx

  36. April 27, 2017 / 3:09 am

    I love this. Everything starts out home. It’s really how we are with them and what we teach them that’s the foundation of their being. These are very lovely lessons.

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:36 pm

      Definitely, we have such a huge responsibility in raising our children! xx

  37. Elizabeth O.
    April 27, 2017 / 3:10 am

    We are their first teachers and it’s our job to let them know about respect and kindness and all of those beautiful values. If I have a son, this is what I would teach him too.

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:36 pm

      Definitely, I so hope that they take it on board. xx

  38. April 27, 2017 / 10:20 am

    Wonderful advice. He can never go wrong if he chooses kindness!

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:34 pm

      I truly hope so! xx

  39. April 27, 2017 / 10:49 am

    Popping back over from #coolmumclub thanks for linking my lovely xoxo

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:34 pm

      xxxx

  40. April 27, 2017 / 11:58 am

    This is lovely – so many great values that you hope to give your children. I was so pleased to see that you talked about the importance of treating women well. Part of protecting our girls means teaching our boys to treat them right! 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:34 pm

      Absolutely. With two daughters I feel that more than ever! xx

  41. April 27, 2017 / 3:43 pm

    It’s the heart and the kindness deep inside and not only the outside appearance that matters.

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 7:49 pm

      Absolutely Karen, I hope our children know that. xx

  42. April 27, 2017 / 4:03 pm

    Ah that actually just made me cry at the end. Such a lovely beautiful post. You are the best writer. I wish I could write with your warmth. xx #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 7:49 pm

      Oh Susie thank you so, so much. You’re so lovely, thank you for another lovely comment. xxx

  43. April 27, 2017 / 7:25 pm

    What a fab list! All points I want Wills to know too. Past generations of men have been taught so badly, hopefully we can raise ours to be the best they can be x

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 7:47 pm

      Thank you. I do hope so! xx

  44. April 27, 2017 / 7:42 pm

    Oh the ‘be careful’ and the friends’ ‘grubby mitts’ made me laugh! This reminds me so much (without making this about me lol) of my life lessons for my kids post and we’ve got one of the same quotes about the kindness in common too…it’s such a goodun. This is of course beautifully written as usual. So moving. Rather choked by the end of it. Gorgeous Laura and your gorgeous words Thanks so much for linking this beaut to #candidcuddles

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 7:47 pm

      Ahh thanks lovely. Kindness is the most important lesson we can teach our children (after be careful, ha!), I just hope they take some of it on board. Thank you for hosting! xxx

  45. April 27, 2017 / 8:52 pm

    This is so lovely, I think I need to tell my son this when he is older (he is 2) xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 27, 2017 / 9:31 pm

      Ahh and before you know it he’ll be 13, waaaaah! xx

  46. April 28, 2017 / 7:17 am

    Sound advise. I have four boys and I have taught them to be chivalrous and polite – some think it is outdated but I don’t at all

    • Laura Dove
      April 28, 2017 / 8:30 am

      I agree, I think there will always be a place for being chivalrous!! xx

  47. April 28, 2017 / 7:36 am

    And now i am in tears at my desk on a friday morning. What a lovely post, thank you so much for sharing x

    • Laura Dove
      April 28, 2017 / 8:30 am

      Aww Tom thank you so much, bless you. I was in tears writing it, the thought of my babies growing up breaks my heart!! xx

  48. April 28, 2017 / 2:32 pm

    Back from #coolmumclub and still love it. Your eldest is the spitting image of you x

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:29 am

      Haha he really is! Thanks lovely! xx

  49. April 28, 2017 / 5:29 pm

    What a lovely post. I think it’s great that you are telling them its best to let your emotions out rather than bottle them. In fact I think it’s healthy to let it all out never mind stiff upper lip British nonsense. #mg

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:26 am

      Thank you Helena. I so hope that they stay in tune with their emotions, they are both sensitive boys and I think that’s a great thing. xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:26 am

      Thank you, can’t wait to see yours! xx

  50. April 28, 2017 / 6:04 pm

    Oh, Laura. I was doing so well, and then I got to the last paragraph and you got me again! Gorgeous post and everything I would say to my son. Thanks for linking up to #TriumphantTales, hope to see you again on Tuesday!

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:25 am

      Hahah sorry Jaki, I must owe you a fortune in tissues!! Thank you so much for reading. xx

  51. April 28, 2017 / 10:03 pm

    This is gorgeous and every single word I could happily pass onto my boys. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:22 am

      Thank you Lisa, let’s just hope that they listen! xx

  52. April 29, 2017 / 8:01 am

    What a lovely post! All fantastic points

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:16 am

      Thank you Abi. xx

  53. April 29, 2017 / 1:55 pm

    This is one of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read! All the points you mentioned are so important and would definitely help your boys to become great men. One day their partners will be so grateful for the way you raised them.

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:15 am

      Thank you so much. I’m sure they will become lovely young men, I’m trying very hard to give them the best start in life I can. xx

  54. April 29, 2017 / 3:49 pm

    Loved reading this – such beautifully written and such great life advice, especially having fun without alcohol and its okay to cry – love that

    Laura x

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:13 am

      Thank you Laura, I hope they take my advice on board! xx

  55. April 29, 2017 / 4:26 pm

    Your posts always move me beyond belief, but I do love this one. I hope my son, like yours grows up knowing all of these things and that they all turn into the wonderful men they have the capacity to be. #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:12 am

      Ahh thank you so much. I’m sure we will have wonderful young men, here’s hoping they take our advice! xx

  56. April 29, 2017 / 6:40 pm

    You have such wonderful boys, and I have no doubt they’ll grow into amazing men. Such perfect advice, but the two that really stick with me are to be kind, and to keep talking and not bottle things up. My family are pretty poor at communicating – I think it’s got slightly better with each generation, but I’d hate to think that my children couldn’t talk to me about something that was bothering them. I think for teenagers especially, it’s so easy to come across as being fine, while being riddled with insecurities on the inside, and I hope that my boys will be able to confide in me, or if not me, at least with friends or other family. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:10 am

      Thank you Katy, I’m sure they will. I agree, and in some respects I am guilty of this too, bottling things up is never going to end well. At the moment I feel lucky that Lewis still talks to me about everything, but I know a time will come where he starts to want his privacy and I just have to hope that he opens up about anything important. I think girls are far more likely to share a problem, the suicide rates amongst young men speak volumes, and this is definitely my biggest concern as my boys grow. Thank you for hosting. xxx

  57. April 29, 2017 / 6:51 pm

    I couldn’t agree more, such a lovely post. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      April 30, 2017 / 11:08 am

      Thank you Emily. xxx

  58. April 30, 2017 / 11:32 am

    As the Mum of a boy, I just love this post. I really do. The point about talking resonates so much, I want my little boy to always be able to talk to me, no matter the subject. Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging

  59. April 30, 2017 / 11:44 am

    this is such a lovely post Laura and as a mum of a son I completely echo all your points. right now especially the walk away point. my son has really been angry at the mo, exploding if something doesn’t go his way. im trying to teach him to take a breath, to be calm. its tough though. he is only 3. such a lovely write up #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 6:21 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Emma. It’s so tough raising children, and boys especially can find it hard to show their emotions. I made Lewis sit down and watch “One Punch Killer” the other month, its a documentary about young men who have got into fights and killed someone with just one punch. I think it should be shown in schools to show that walking away is the only option in a situation like that. xx

  60. April 30, 2017 / 4:47 pm

    This is just so lovely. My son is 5 and came to tell me something he’d done wrong the other day, and I was so proud of him and helped him fix it (I think he’d just pressed a button on the ipad that had done something). I made a point of thanking him for coming and telling me, I hope he always feels he can tell me, no matter what mistakes he makes. x #CandidCuddles

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 6:12 pm

      That’s so lovely and shows that he is listening to what you have said and knows he can tell you anything, even when if is scared that you might be angry or upset. I think that’s the main thing I hope for not just my boys, but all of my children. I want them to know that I will always be here and will always help them however I can. xx

  61. April 30, 2017 / 7:13 pm

    The picture of the four of them as so lovely! I love all of these points. These will raise your boys to be men that women want to be with and more importantly, to be someone that they can be proud.
    Hubby is amazing but he never opens up to me and its a real fight to get whats bothering him out!
    Thank you for linking up to #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back again next week.

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 6:09 pm

      Thank you. It terrifies me that there are so many young men struggling in silence with mental health issues. There has been a spate of male suicides in our town this year, so many young men who have outwardly appeared to be happy and healthy, and that scares me so much! I hope that by raising my boys to know that it’s okay to talk about their problems, to cry, to reach out to someone and ask for help, that we can prevent them ever having to suffer in silence. xxx

  62. April 30, 2017 / 9:01 pm

    What a beautiful and heartfelt post to your son. Once that I’m sure that many mothers to sons can resonate with. Beautiful pictures too#kcacols

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 6:05 pm

      Thank you so much. I’m sure they can, parenting is so tough! xx

  63. April 30, 2017 / 10:40 pm

    This is such a beautiful post lovely, I so hope your son reads this. Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 6:04 pm

      Thank you, he often reads my blog so I’m sure that he will when he can extract himself from his playstation or his mates, hehe! xx

  64. May 1, 2017 / 1:07 am

    You touched such a deep place in my heart tonight Laura. With each point, you make I could feel my heart beating in unison to what you were saying … We really do have the most important and beautiful job as parents, don’t we?! Thank you for yet another extraordinary read! #globalblogging

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 6:03 pm

      Thank you so much, that’s so lovely of you to say. We have the most important, and the toughest, job in the world I’m sure. It’s so important that we do everything we can to give them the best start in life, I just hope that they take our advice. xxx

  65. Nige
    May 1, 2017 / 7:38 am

    Thanks for poppin back Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 6:00 pm

      Thanks Nige, I’ll be back next week! xx

  66. May 1, 2017 / 9:30 am

    Such a beautiful post with beautiful pictures of your two boys together! Great list, they’re all so true #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 5:59 pm

      Thank you Amie. xxx

  67. May 1, 2017 / 5:31 pm

    I love this Laura and you have 2 beautiful boys. I always remember the first time my brother had his heart broken and he asked to come over to see me. He turned up with a tub of ice cream and sulked just like I had myself and seen so many of my girlfriends do. It was so reassuring to know that boys to do this too and that was down to the way he was brought up my parents. He cared. and that is so important. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 5:50 pm

      Aww Laura that’s so lovely, not only that your brother cared but that he wanted to come over and see you for some comfort. I love that, it’s so hard to think that one day our children will have their hearts broken, it really is one of the toughest lessons to learn, but I hope that my four will come home to me and let me feed them ice cream, or call on each other for a much needed hug. Thank you for hosting as always. xxx

      • May 6, 2017 / 1:45 pm

        Oh I know I am not looking forward to that time when my girls have their heart broken. But I hope they come home to me or reach out to each other. The sibling relationship is a special one. xx #KCACOLS

  68. May 1, 2017 / 7:54 pm

    Such a cute blog post, and I 100% agree with you. Our boys are similar ages and I can relate to the feeling of knowing it won’t be long before they are off out in the big wide world by themselves. It is such a scary thought!

    • Laura Dove
      May 1, 2017 / 8:00 pm

      It’s so scary isn’t it? I think back to when I was as old as my eldest, and I was so independent and really, quite a handful, haha! I’m sure that my parents gave me all of this advice but I didn’t take any of it on board until later in life. If only I had listened….!! xx

  69. May 1, 2017 / 9:38 pm

    Such a beautifully written post Laura and I agree with absolutely everything you have written. I must read your post to your daughters too. Thank you for sharing with #KCACOLS and we hope you join us next time.

    • Laura Dove
      May 2, 2017 / 10:31 am

      Ahh thank you so much Kate. xxx

  70. May 4, 2017 / 8:23 pm

    Absolutely loved reading this heartfelt post for your beautiful Son’s! Totally with you re ‘it’s OK to cry’. I want my Son to be in touch with his emotions and understand that it doesn’t make you less of a boy/man if you get upset and cry. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      May 5, 2017 / 9:44 pm

      Thank you Dani. That’s something I really want to make sure of, that my boys are in touch with their emotions, young men these days are at the highest risk of suffering from mental illness and I think part of the reason is this. xx

  71. May 5, 2017 / 9:35 am

    What a beautiful post and something your boys can look at and return to time and time again.. The last two brought tears to my eyes! Lovely. #KCACOLS xx

    • Laura Dove
      May 5, 2017 / 9:41 pm

      Thank you Cheryl. One day I hope they take on my advice!! xx

  72. May 6, 2017 / 9:55 am

    Great advice. Especially the part about being domesticated, I can’t stand grown men who can’t take care of themselves! Lol Stunning pic. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      May 8, 2017 / 10:38 am

      Oh me too! I hope they take note! xx

  73. May 8, 2017 / 6:03 am

    Aww, this post brought tears to my eyes, so beautiful. My son is growing up far too fast and it terrifies me, I want to tell him all of this too x
    #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      May 8, 2017 / 10:23 am

      Ahh it’s so hard isn’t it? If only time didn’t go by so fast! xx

  74. May 9, 2017 / 4:38 pm

    This is such a beautiful and moving post. Your kids must be so proud of you, it’s wonderful:)
    Mainy
    #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      May 9, 2017 / 9:34 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  75. May 10, 2017 / 8:20 pm

    Still love this post! Visiting back from #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      May 11, 2017 / 10:09 pm

      Thank you! xx

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