It’s only weird if you think it’s weird..
I have been absolutely astounded this week by the backlash faced by Victoria Beckham, having shared, what I and many others believe to be, a beautiful photo of herself kissing her daughter on her birthday. Not usually a fan of Victoria, although David is a completely different matter, I thought it was lovely to see her being herself, not pouting or posing for the camera, but simply being a Mummy, just like the rest of us. I imagine that she released the photo with no idea whatsoever of the controversy it would cause, to share a side to her that shows us, despite the fame and fortune, she is still just a wife and Mummy, and a proud one at that.
And as a Mummy who also puts myself out there, who shares our lives on social media and through my blog, as a Mummy who shares personal moments and countless photographs, I can only imagine how horrendous the response must have been. To have such vile comments stating that kissing her daughter was “completely gross and sexual” or, as one not so eloquent “fan” commented, “totally lesbianish”. must have been absolutely devastating.
Because as a Mummy of four, my family and I kiss eachother a lot, infact hundreds of times a day. I kiss them on their cheeks, on the top of their heads, their lips. I shower them with kisses, tickling them on the back of their necks, on their tummies when I change their nappy, on their little hands and feet when they smell so good straight after their bath. And at thirty six, I still kiss my parents on the lips, always have and always will. I kiss my best friends on the lips, even more so when we’ve had a few too many, and I think nothing of it. Because it’s completely and utterly normal, isn’t it?
It’s not like anyone is talking about a snog, for Gods sake. There’s no mention of smooching or tongues (“It’s only weird if you use tongues..” – isn’t that a given?). It’s a peck on the lips, the kind of kiss that you might give your Granny, a sign of affection between two people, whatever the relationship. A kiss speaks volumes doesn’t it? It says I love you, I’ve missed you, I’m so happy to see you. It says hello, goodbye, I’m sorry. It says I trust you, I’m comfortable with you, you’re one of my favourite people in the whole world. Never in a million years did I think there was anything wrong with kissing my children on the lips. I still don’t.
An ‘expert’ in social etiquette, and I use that term loosely, said
“Normally with a member of your own family you don’t kiss on the lips unless its your husband….I wouldn’t say it presents a particularly good example,”
A good example?? Kissing someone you love on the lips doesn’t set a good example? Surely it sets a great example, to teach our children that your kisses are reserved for only those who you truly love. To only kiss those who you hold dear, your family, your best friends, and one day, your partner.
It’s a sad world we live in when someone thinks that kissing your own child on the lips is sexual. I actually find it deeply disturbing that anyone would view it that way, there’s actually a name for people who find that kind of thing sexual and it says a whole lot more about those people than it does about us.
Will I ever stop kissing my children on the lips? Only if they want me to. Do I think that day will ever come? Absolutely not. And the main thing that I will teach my children about all of this, and something I think we all need to realise is this.
It’s only weird if you think it’s weird.
Now excuse me, I’m off to smother my children with kisses…..
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I’m like you, not a fan of Victoria Beckham but found that photo really sweet and don’t understand what the fuss is all about?! T and I kiss on the lips too, what’s wrong with that? People have such sick minds!
Don’t they just? It’s actually really worrying that so many people find that kind of thing sexual. Surely when a parent kisses their child the furthest thing from their mind should be anything remotely sexual, the idea of it is just wrong! Sometimes I think the Beckhams can’t do anything right by some people, it must be really hard in that way. xx
I totally agree with you! I think Victoria was really happy to finally have a girl, and she just shows it, I don’t see the problem! Sometimes people see things as normal when they shouldn’t and vice versa xx
http://www.wha2wear.com
Absolutely. I totally understand if some people don’t kiss their children on the lips for whatever reason, perhaps due to the way they were raised and what they consider as normal, but to find it sexual is just beyond me?! xx
Totally agree. It’s only weird if you think it is weird and why are we in a society where parents cannot kiss their child on the lips? #stayclassy
I know, what kind of world do we live in when that is the worst thing a parent can do to their child? Madness! xx
Some people just get a kick out of putting other people down – like you say, it says more about them that they find the photo weird! When I saw it I thought it was such a beautiful, normal photo of a proud mummy and her little princess. Sad, sad, people. We are definitely #teamlips in this house! 🙂 Gorgeous pic of you and your girl too x #coolmumclub
Exactly! I thought how lovely that it was just a really natural, precious moment caught on film. It saddens me that people have to constantly break others down over their choices, I would have been livid if I was Victoria that anyone was thinking those kind of sick thoughts about my child too. xxx
I’m totally #teambeckham and as it goes also #teamkissonthelips
Thanks for being such a cool mum! #coolmumclub
Team Beckham all the way!! Especially if David is the leader…..swoon!! Thanks for hosting lovely! xxx
I am quite flabbergasted that anyone could see kissing your child on the lips as ‘sexual’ – it’s those people that have a worrying point of view, not us ‘lip-kissers’ that have a problem! I got 2 beautiful kisses in a row yesterday from my little ones and apart from my daughter approaching with her lips parted, as if ready for a snog, there was nothing weird about it! #StayClassyMama
Haha the slobbery open mouthed kisses are the best aren’t they? My youngest daughter literally glues herself to my lips for minutes on end some days, and it’s not sick or perverted, we end up in hysterics over it and it’s just a loving, precious moment between us. Anyone who sees it as sexual has serious issues! xx
Yes I am totally with you! It had never even considered that people would think it was sexual until I saw this article the other day. It had never even crossed my mind – I thought all parents kissed their kids! This morning when I dropped my daughter off, I actually felt myself hesitate as I went to kiss her goodbye in the playground. Then I decided, ‘Who cares if the other parents judge me – it’s something wrong with their way of thinking, not us’ and I bent down and gave her a big kiss and told her I love her, just like I do every morning. #coolmumclub
Good for you! I never realised that people didn’t kiss their children either!! I know a while ago someone saw me kiss my dad on the lips and looked as though they had just witnessed something horrific, I was mortified that anyone had made an issue of me kissing my Dad hello! I genuinely assumed that everyone kissed their parents on the lips!! xx
People will always find something to talk about, and it infuriates me so much. Anyone who sexualises a motherly act disgusts me! She gave birth to her for gods sake! I think its beautiful! Its sad that now moms have to second guess themselves when wanting to show their babies affection!
http://www.shewillneverlose.com
Isn’t it just? I won’t ever stop kissing my children, not unless they were uncomfortable with it, and yet why would a child be uncomfortable with something that is perfectly normal? It’s absolute madness that people have taken offence to it! xx
I don’t know how I have missed this? My first thoughts when I seen this picture was aww..
Yep, I think that was the idea. It’s crazy that anyone could read more into it! xx
There seems to be a lot of prudish people out there who aren’t shy of saying what they think!
Yep, it’s amazing what people are brave enough to say from behind their computer screen!! xx
If people think a mother kissing her own child on the lips is sexual, then that says more about them than the mother. #stayclassymama
Completely. And thank god they aren’t doing it, right? Xx
Yay, well said! I couldn’t believe it when I read the ‘expert’ opinion, what a load of shite. Showing affection is apparently a bad example now?! I definitely think it says more about the people who think it’s inappropriate than the parents and their kids. I thought it was a gorgeous picture of them and I love yours too! Sadly my son’s idea of kisses at the moment are slobbering all over my face and possibly trying to latch on to my nose if I am really lucky ? #stayclassymama
Oh I LOVED when they try and latch onto the nose, my youngest soon replaced that with the open mouthed slobber kiss and these days he just prefers a lick. Either way, so precious and I won’t ever stop kissing these babies of mine! Xx
Love this post. I totally agree – it’s only weird if you think it is in which cas you shouln’t be doing it! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely lady xx
Exactly. If you someone thinks it’s sexual then thank god they aren’t doing it!! Thanks for hosting!! Xx
Brilliant post – what struck me when I read this on social media was that I had never thought about a kiss between family being sexual and it made me sad that someone would. Like you say, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then just don’t do it! And above just leave the Beckhams alone….#stayclassymama
Exactly, it’s their daughters birthday and it was completely over shadowed by this. Disgusting! xx
Well said! I wrote a post on this topic too just yesterday. Have a look if you want, off to share yours
https://thefrenchiemummy.com/2016/07/14/a-controversial-kiss-on-the-lips/
#momsterlink
Ooh will go and look! I think that the majority of people are enraged over it too, and rightly so! xx
Absolutely. I think people who wrote bad comments are not parents or don’t know what they are talking about … #PicknMix
Very well said. I totally agree that the amount of criticism she had was totally unfounded and yet another cringeworthy sign of how social media gives people the right to share their opinions even if they are outrageous. Kissing your children on the lips is totally normal and anyone who thinks otherwise is weird (imho).
I do wonder if it was someone else sharing the photo whether the reaction will have been the same? Sometimes people will find just about anything to criticize someone over, pure jealousy! xx
People will find anything to bitch and moan about, Adam (age 6) is super affectionate and always kissing me, hugging me and telling me he loves me. Yes some of our kisses are on the lips! Funny I had never thought about it, but the girls aren’t as kissy they are always hugging, but not kissing as much. Good on you for posting your adorable pic too, love it! #sharingthebloglove
My children have all been very different in terms of affection. My boys are hugely affectionate and yet the girls have been much more selective with their kisses and cuddles, changing from one day to the next. Megan used to HATE being kissed, it was a running joke that we only ever got to kiss her when she was asleep! Now she is so affectionate, probably more so than Eva! xx
Well said my dear. I knew I’d see a post from you on this and I couldn’t put it better myself. I have in fact written about it but I just rambled on incoherently! The world has just gone mad. So tiring. Fab post as usual. #coolmumclub
It absolutely ENRAGED me!! Since when has being affectionate with your children been a bad thing? Madness!! Off to find your post, I have missed so much in my red mist!! xxx
Well said! A great post! I wrote a post on this too but you have said it much more eloquently than me! Here’s to kissing our little ones on the lips for as long as they’ll let us! #momsterslink
Ahh I’m sure that’s not the case. Will check it out when the littlies are in bed. xxx
I kiss my kids on the lips. I think the world has gone mad to think this is sexual or wrong.
I think it’s more strange to refuse a child a kiss on the lips! xx
I completely agree with this sentiment. It’s awful that she received such a negative reaction for this.
I hope that she took it with a pinch of salt, those vile comments don’t deserve our time or thought. xx
Completely agree – it’s not weird at all. But it is a sad statement on a culture that cannot distinguish between affectionate contact and sexual touching.
I don’t usually kiss my kids on the lips but that’s only because they are such germ factories at the moment! Great post!! Visiting from #momsterslink
Haha yes that’s the only down side to it, my kids like to share snot and saliva through their kisses, not always pleasant and usually results in sharing germs! xx
When I saw the picture I thought it was sweet and lovely that she was showing the world how normal she is and just scrolled on by. I couldn’t believe it when I started hearing about all the controversy about a photo she had posted and that it was that photo!! I mean she is a little girl and her mum is kissing her, just like me and thousands of other mums do hundreds of times a day. Anyone that things that is weird or sexual, the problem is with them. Fab post as always. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove Laura X
Exactly. How sick to look at a photo like that and see something sexual? That thought really disturbs me! I think it was a gorgeous photo and I wont ever stop kissing my children! xx
well said. I kiss my five yer old daughter on the lips all the time and anybody who says its not appropriate can give me a kiss on the ass #momsterlink
Hahah that made me laugh out loud! So true!!! xx
The key message that I’ve always tried to adhere to is not making your child kiss someone that they don’t want to. If they want to kiss you, as their parent, then hell yeah it’s normally and absolutely OK! I love my smooches with both my girls. My baby gives wide mouthed, slobbery, slightly sicky tongue kisses and I adore them. Nothing at all wrong with the photo and as usual, the ridiculous nature of the media has completely detracted from the original “happy birthday”. Great post – thank you so much for linking to #effitfriday!
Completely agree with this. We never force the childrens kisses or tell them they have to kiss family members, it’s so important that they don’t think that you have to kiss people against your will. xx
I think the people who think this is weird are weird! I mean how is it not normal to show your children love?! My 3 year old thinks it hilarious to lick my face at the moment…so what he’s my son and he’s showing me affection…or at least I hope he is he can’t possibly be that hungry…
How funny, my 3 year old has recently developed a tendency to lick my face too!! If she’s still doing that at 13 it *might* just get weird, but for now, so cute! xx
Ha ha yep maybe! His current goodnight affections go something along the lines of s kiss, a lick and s proclamation of loving jelly tots…his version of love you lots like jelly tots! x
Aww that’s so sweet!! xx
I kiss my children on the lips, in fact they insist on it. I think it is more weird they insist on talking to me whilst I am sat on the toilet to be honest…. but I don’t suppose Victoria Beckham is sharing those photos! x
Haha that made me laugh, or watching me in the shower!! xx
The whole backlash against this has really stunned me! I thought it was a lovely mother and daughter photo. I kiss my son all the time, everywhere, just like you, and while I’m sure I won’t be kissing his tummy when he’s 16, a kiss is still a lovely normal show of affection. I’m relishing the fact that my son’s kisses have finally become less ‘wet’ and more of a peck – much more pleasant! I’m reassured that the vast majority of people seem to agree that kissing your children is completely normal – you’re completely right, if anyone thinks there is something wrong with the photo, then it’s probably them who have the issue! Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove
Haha yes, at twelve my eldest is way past the kissing his tummy stage but he still kisses me, albeit behind closed doors – kissing your mum is SO not cool! It’s very reassuring to know that the majority find it completely normal and even if they didn’t, I cant ever resist kissing my lot! xx
It is sad cause it’s true that we’re kinda exposing ourselves to the rest of the world when we write a blog, share on social media etc.. and some people seem to enjoy investing their time saying cruel things about others..the truth for me is that every family is very unique on the way it shows the affection, even within the same culture or different one, we just need to respect each other. 🙂 just keep up sharing the love! 😉 xx
#fabfridaypost
Definitely, I always believe in the saying if you’ve nothing nice to say, say nothing. It’s the first thing I try to teach my children, perhaps some of these “trolls” need a lesson! xx
This is totally bonkers! I kiss my kids on the lips All-The-Time! Or until they are too shy to kiss me back – my boy is starting to get too shy from it all, but I still insist! I love your phrase “It’s not like anyone is talking about a snog, for Gods sake.” Totally Agree! Well done for being the voice of motherhood! Thank you for sharing your voice with us on #FabFridayPost
Thanks lovely. My son went through a stage where he went a bit awkward, apparently it wasn’t cool, but now he is 12 he is completely back to being affectionate with us all, and rightly so. xx
That’s so lovely! I know Ethan tried to avoid giving me kisses at school because it was uncool! I’d love it when he does come back to kiss me again. 🙂 xx
I just cant believe what an issue this has become, how anyone can have an issue with it is beyond me, I just cannot even find the words x
Completely agree, as does the majority of the population it seems! xx
I don’t see the issue. I kiss my children on the lips. I think if people find it ‘weird’ or feel uncomfortable about it, that’s an issue they need to deal with themselves. Thanks for linking to the #BinkyLinky
Absolutely! Somebody commented on a friends social media that we shouldn’t kiss our children because of spreading germs, clearly they haven’t been around my kids who cough, sneeze and splutter germs regardless of kissing!! xx
Totally agree I have a small post coming on this issue this week and it’s very rare if ever that I write about topical issues good post Thanks for linking to the #binkylinky come back next week please
Same here! Most of the time I just grumble about it in my head but sometimes I cant bite my tongue, utter madness!!! xx
Could not agree more. What an absolute load of rubbish – what is wrong with people? I kiss my son on the lips many times each day, from the day he was born I’ve been constantly kissing him! He’s a really loving child and I am certain it’s because we are so openly affectionate towards him – mentally and physically. Jeez how awful if you don’t kiss your own kids! #stayclassymama
Isnt it? So it’s wrong to show your kids affection? Madness!! We are such an affectionate family, always have been, and my children are the same, so loving, speaks volumes doesn’t it? xx
Totally with you on this. Nothing wrong at all in kissing your kids/other loved ones if all parties involved are okay with it. I suppose there may come a point when my son will point blank refuse to let his Mama kiss him, but I will be okay with that too.
Yes! My eldest is 12 and apparently its not cool to kiss me in public, but he kisses me good morning and good night every single day, hopefully always will! xx
Totally agree with you on this. The controversy around it is one of the strangest things I’ve ever witnessed. I feel like people who have a problem with it maybe have some unresolved attatchment and relationship issues from childhood maybe… #sharingthebloglove
Definitely! Probably raised by parents who also think that it is wrong to kiss children on the lips! Very sad actually that these children are missing out on such affection. xx
Very well said. I miss my girls all the time on the lips and I’ll continue to do so until it gets to the point where they think it’s uncool lol
Haha yes, my eldest is 12 and it’s no longer cool but he will still kiss me at home! xx
Great post. I was stunned by the backlash too. I don’t know why anyone would be offended or have a problem with a mother kissing her child on the lips. I think it’s time we support one another instead of always trying to tear other moms down. Thanks for linking up with the #FabFridayPost
Absolutely! I will never understand this need to tear others down, I am very much about building other people up, especially other parents, it’s hard enough without all of this!! xx
After living under a rock for 5 days without any access to internet or cell phone I have missed this in the media. It amazes me that this is even an issue. It’s her child. And like her and you I kiss my kids daily. It’s called affection and if you don’t get it you grow up not giving it (an issue I have had to overcome). Great post and I love the picture at the end…sums it up perfectly. Thank you for linking with #momsterslink and I hope to see you again tomorrow!
Absolutely right, affection is so important isn’t it? I shall be with you tonight, thanks! xx
There is something very wrong with anyone who saw anything in that photo other than the love between a mother and a daughter. It says a lot more about them than about VB. Personally I haven’t kissed my boys on the lips in years, we’ve always done cheeks mostly mainly because my eldest always had colds when he was little and eww snotty kisses are no fun for anyone 😉 I really do not see anything wrong with it at all though.
Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix
Stevie x
I have lots of friends who don’t kiss their children on the lips for whatever reason, and that is absolutely fine, but the difference is that like you, they don’t judge those that do. It’s madness that anyone would judge VB for kissing her daughter, or make her feel that she is doing something wrong. Thankfully it seems the majority is fine with it, and rightly so! xx
I think the only people to find it weird are people that have a problem – completely natural to kiss your kids!
Isn’t it just? My kids wouldn’t take no for an answer anyway, they love to kiss!! xx