How To Support Your Loved One Deal With Loss And Grief

Loss is unavoidable in one’s life. As we go through our lives, we find many people to connect with. While the bonds you’ve made enrich one’s life, losing them due to circumstances is no easy pill to swallow.

Many consider grief as delicate as a grenade; they believe making the slightest mistake could set off a grieving person. Unfortunately, it might be worse when consoling a bereaved loved one because any misstep might affect your relationship with them while their grief is still fresh. However, being absent while they’re undergoing the stages of grief could make whatever fondness between you run cold.

Here are some ways that can probably help you overcome any reservations you have when supporting your loved one:

• Reach Out 

Wrapping one’s head around loss is never an easy task. Whether they died from an illness or accident, losing someone can leave anyone in shock. At this point, acceptance is the last thing on their mind—not when they’ve yet to fully wrap their head around the loss. And because they’re gone, your loved one might feel alone at their lowest.  

As someone who cares about them, make your presence known. Call or send them a message to express your sympathy. Check in on them regularly to know how they’ve been doing. Invite them for a meal or coffee. Remind them that you’re there if they need anything. Let them know that they still have you to count on. Since some grieving people have difficulty reaching out, constantly knowing they have someone supporting them could ease their burden.

• Lend A Hand

While some people are good at expressing their feelings through words, others excel more at conveying how much they care through actions. Some bereaved people may be unable to find the energy to do basic chores or tasks and need someone else’s help. As comforting as condolences are, offering practical support would be much more beneficial for them.

Handle the basic chores your loved one is neglecting. They can range from managing bills to taking care of the laundry. Another way to help is by presenting specific offers, such as bringing them dinner or handling funeral arrangements. Because even though it’s nice to hear you’ll ‘do anything’ for them, your loved one might be reluctant to ask for help. Being specific and phrasing it as a question gives them the freedom to accept your help or otherwise.

• Listen More

One of the reasons why people hesitate to reach out to a grieving loved one is that everyone handles loss differently and grieves in their own ways. Some may find it a nuisance to have people constantly expressing their condolences, while others might be comforted by them. And considering they’re your loved ones, you’d probably hate making a mistake that could compromise your relationship in the long run. 

Even though you intend to make them feel better, you might stumble when you force it too much on your loved one, especially if you offer unsolicited advice. Instead, give them space to express their thoughts and emotions. Allow them to talk about what happened. Listen to their story actively, even if they repeat the same story. Having someone listen to them would make them feel cared for now more than ever.

• Avoid Platitudes

Platitudes are often said without any ill intention behind them. However, telling a grieving person that their loved one is ‘in a better place’ or that their death is part of ‘God’s plan’ would sound callous from their perspective. They may interpret your words as a way of invalidating their emotions. 

Hearing platitudes in a conversation while the loss is still fresh in their heart will likely set off your loved one’s temper. Avoid telling them anything that sheds their loss in a positive light because there’s no ‘bright side’ in losing someone close to them. For those who still want to pay their respects, only offer brief condolences and evaluate their reaction before saying anything more.

• Offer Professional Help

Even though you’re their loved one, it’s normal to feel out of depth when consoling a grieving person, especially if you haven’t lost anyone. It’s normal to feel like you’re walking on eggshells if this is the case. Fortunately, you can help them out by offering professional help. You can look up counsellors and mental health professionals for them to choose from and maybe even accompany them to their appointment.

Picking Up The Pieces

Loss incites all kinds of reactions from different people. Consoling a grieving person might be difficult, even more so if you’re comforting a loved one. However, as long as you learn to understand their grief, you can eventually find a way to support them in an approach that’s respectful of their needs and boundaries.