Testosterone gets a bad rap. We tend to associate it with the more toxic elements of masculinity. We tend to bandy it around as an insult aimed at meat headed, body proud aggressively male types who are just itching to pick a fight with someone… anyone. Whenever we see any man embodying the worst of what the male gender has to offer, we attribute it to an over endowment of testosterone. But when testosterone levels are unusually low, it can also be problematic for your partner and their relationship with you. All men over the age of 30 start to notice a gradual decline in their testosterone levels. This can manifest in a range of ways from storing fat in different places to decreased motivation and performance at work or in their physical exercise as well as loss of libido and sexual function. This can lead you to feel that your partner is no longer interested in you or no longer finds you desirable. This can be upsetting at the best of times, but if you’re trying for a baby it can be infuriating, especially if you have been struggling to conceive for some time.
Here, we’ll look at some strategies to help you and your partner work through low testosterone without it negatively impacting on your relationship.
Understand, it really isn’t you!
Inevitably when your partner experiences a loss of libido due to low testosterone your first instinct is to blame yourself. You may feel that your partner is less attracted to you than when you first got together, that you’re not as pretty as you used to be or begin to hypothesise that he’s found someone else and find that your heart leaps into your throat every time he receives a text message.
This can lead to adversarial feelings that can seriously impinge on your relationship. It’s vital that you realise that this is a completely medical condition that has nothing to do with you.
Help them to find the right solution for them
Understandably, your partner might react adversely to the notion of medication. They may not like the idea of needing medication or want to admit that introducing the prospect of medication will make the problem seem more real. There are, however, solutions to low testosterone that do not require medical treatment from herbal supplements like Tongkat Ali to a simple change in diet. If he’s vegetarian or vegan, don’t worry this doesn’t mean that he’ll have to turn to meat. Garlic, pomegranate and cabbage have all been found to help mitigate the effects of low testosterone.
Be prepared to bring the energy to your relationship
Low testosterone takes its toll on a man. It can lead him to feel emasculated, it can lead to depression and a reduced sense of self worth. It can also lead to low mood and energy and sap him of not only his joie de vivre but the get up and go to be proactive about your day to day life together. Rightly or wrongly, fairly or unfairly, you may need to step up to the plate, be a little more organised and schedule your day to prevent your partner from falling into a lull that can lead to more serious depression.
** This is a collaborative post **