For Meggy on your 12th birthday….

Meggy,

I swear that with every year these birthday letters just get harder to write, partly because life is just so busy and partly because I just get so emotional about the fact you are all growing up so fast. And yet somehow here we are on your 12th birthday and a whole world away from that tiny little baby who came into the world in such a dramatic fashion that we should have guessed when it comes to you Meggy, life will never be dull.

Every year I sit here and feel so grateful to be able to say that the last twelve months was my favourite time with you yet, and it really has been. At eleven years old you completely blossomed in confidence, found a solid friendship group who I have no doubt will carry you through life, and found so much joy in every single day without fail. One of the football Mums described you as, “A little ray of sunshine” and I think that totally sums you up Megs. I see the way that others bask in the glow of your smile, the way in which you effortlessly light up a room, the way that wherever we go in the world others will turn to look at you and tell us, “Your daughter is SO beautiful!” and yet what they don’t know is that you are so beautiful inside and out.

I always think that eleven is such a huge milestone with leaving primary school and yet as always you took it completely in your stride. I will never forget watching you as the starring role of Maid Marion in your leavers concert, with 84 lines to rehearse and deliver (something you reminded us of daily!), and how you held the whole of the audience in the palm of your hand. I honestly felt as though my heart might burst right out of my chest that day, seeing my little girl so confident and so talented, it was up there as one of my proudest parenting moments yet – almost on a par with when you got to play Mary in the Christmas nativity…..

But my favourite moment from the last year was hands down the day I surprised you with tickets to Taylor Swift, your absolute idol, and we flew to Hamburg just the two of us together and had a whirlwind 48 hours soaking it all in and experiencing something so special that I can barely even think about it without getting a lump in my throat. I will never forget your excitement as we boarded the plane, how your little hand held mine so tightly, your arm covered in your Taylor Swift friendship bracelets, the biggest smile ever on your face. And it was so special to just be the two of us Megs, to visit the Miniature Model Village and eat cheese pretzels and whizz down the helter skelter slide in the shopping mall on our way to buy noodles. To sit by the river and enjoy a cold drink, climb the stairs to the look out point and take photos on old bridges and send them home to Daddy.

And then the day of the concert came around and I swear I have never seen anyone smile so brightly as you did that day, decked out in your Swiftie t-shirt and your face covered in diamanté stickers, gripping my hand as I prayed with every fibre of my being that the tickets I had fought so hard to get hold of were legitimate after all. And honestly, even if we hadn’t made it inside the arena I think you would still have declared it the best day of your life as you exchanged bracelets with grown adults who complimented you on your hairstyle and gave you warm hugs like an old friend. I feel like I spent the whole day just fighting back tears, watching my little girl in her absolute element and seeing a glimpse of the young woman you would soon become living her very best life doing something she loved.

Megs, watching that concert with you was up there as one of my favourite memories in my whole life, and that is saying something. I can’t even put into words how special it was to wrap my arms around you and sing every single lyric to all of your favourite songs, knowing this was a moment you would remember forever. I can’t even tell you how emotional I felt as your Mummy to know that there will come a day when you go out into the world alone, watch countless concerts with friends I’ve never even met, and live a life of which I am just a small part of. And yet that moment right there, that is ours forever and of all the things I have done wrong as your Mummy, just know there was a time when I did everything in my power to make your dreams come true. Swifties forever, don’t ever forget that.

Eleven was the year when out travels took you far and wide, from celebrating your birthday in New York to our Summer travelling through Europe. I loved every single moment of that time with you Megs, whether it was laughing at your excited over the evening buffet each night in Greece or watching in amazement as you demolished your thirteenth Nutella pancake of the day. I loved seeing you make holiday friendships and the way your eyes sparkled in delight when one of the boys asked Eva to be his girlfriend, “She literally just said erm, no thank you!” you’d told us as you had clutched your sides with laughter. I love seeing you laugh Megs, it’s one of my favourite things about you the way that you are so unapologetic in your laughter, please never change.

I loved the ways in which you fell in love with Belgium this Summer, the way you soaked it all in as we sailed through Bruges and Ghent, ate your way through every gelato store and picked out bracelets in every town for your besties at school. I loved the way you rode beside me on every bike ride, screaming “Wait for me!” if we dared to cycle even a millimetre ahead and how you would get so angry one minute but then be laughing hysterically the next. I loved lying beside you on the front of the boat each day just leaning your head against mine, staring at the clouds and eating Vimto ice lollies together, playing silly word games Harry had made up and you’d play so not to hurt his feelings.

I loved our time together in Holland at TerSpegelt where you spent days in the lake and evenings at the playground with your new friends, bursting through the lodge door telling me about an amazing sand fort you’d built or something silly that Harry had done. I loved seeing the three of you together just having fun without the outside influence of school or your friends, just you, Eva and Harry, the three musketeers, making mischief and making memories.

I loved surprising you with Disneyland Paris at the end of the Summer, the over-dramatic squeals of laughter making us all laugh as you ramped it up with the encouragement of our laughter. I loved seeing you meet Winnie the Pooh, your favourite ever Disney character, and how you’d had to convince Harry and Eva to stand in the hour long queue but told them in no uncertain terms that it would be worth it. I loved that you gave him the biggest hug possible and beamed with pride for a photo, my little girl in her Minnie Mouse ears, still young enough to believe in the Disney magic.

I loved returning to Thailand with you in the Autumn, revisiting some of our favourite places and exploring new one together. I loved your dramatics in the jungle as our guide looked back at you screaming every time a bug so much as looked in your direction, rolled his eyes and uttered “Oh my Buddha!”. I loved watching you fall in love with the elephants in Chiang Mai, the dogs in Bangkok and revisiting the puppies in Koh Samui who had grown into big dogs which you still recognised from the photos in my phone. I loved your enthusiasm for the night market every evening, how you became obsessed with Korean chicken in Ao Nang and Hawaiian Sunset drinks that turned your tongue blue.

I loved our Winter together in the Scottish Highlands searching for Loch Nessie, drinking hot chocolate on freezing cold days, swimming in the pool every evening and eating Chinese take out in our pyjamas. I loved your funny little tantrums when your wellies leaked in too much water, your absolute hysterics when Eva almost got her phone snatched by a Highland cow, your absolute joy at seeing rainbows at every turn, your enthusiasm for board games which would always end in arguments and me saying “And this is why we can’t play games!!” as I packed away the game, much to your amusement.

I loved our week in Cyprus together where we trekked through gorges, climbed mountains, swam in the sea, travelled up to the North and ate Turkish delight from friendly market stall holders. I loved that of all the places you wanted to eat at it was always McDonalds, the way you backed up Harry when he was convinced he had won at go-karting even when we all knew Eva was miles ahead, the sound of you and Eva giggling at night in bed despite her protests she hadn’t wanted to share a room.

I loved that the ordinary days at home were every bit as fun as the extravagant moments away, the days we’d walk the dogs on the beach of you’d have a sleepover with your friends. The days at football, the days you’d beg to go to Home Bargains, the days you’d spend hours making dens in the woods or practicing applying cheap false lashes from Primark in the mirror. I loved the day I waved you off to High School, standing proudly behind your sister, full of enthusiasm which still remains every single day. I loved seeing you join the cheer team, the football team, the netball team; the way you completely fell in love with your RS teacher and bought little gifts to take to school for her at Christmas. I loved the dramatic updates of dumping one boyfriend and finding another, and then declaring that you never wanted another boyfriend as long as you live, “I guess I’ll just have to crawl back to Grandad” you had joked although I know you were hurt because life’s lessons can be tough.

And I loved that even when sadness hit our family once again with the loss of Great-Grandma, you allowed yourself to feel every single emotion and you dealt with it all so beautifully. She loved you so much Meggy, even in her final days her eyes would light up when you’d go and visit and she would stroke your hair and kiss your hand and when we’d get in the car you would belly laugh at all the crazy things that she had said. You are so like her actually Megs – mischievous, witty, kind but oh so feisty, and I hope you remember how lucky you were to have known and loved her for twelve wonderful years.

And now here we are, twelve years old, celebrating in Vancouver, Canada where you have watched Orcas swim in the wild, spotted humpback whales and sea lions as bald eagles circled around the boat. We took a seaplane over to Whistler Mountain, saw grizzly bears on Grouse, crossed the Capilano bridge and cycled the sea wall, eaten Tim Hortons daily and Joe’s Juice for breakfast. Of all the ways to celebrate turning twelve, I think this has been the most special week imaginable and I am so grateful to be giving you all of these special moments to look back on. How lucky we are, hey?

Megs, you are the most beautiful, funny, clever, talented, sensitive, kind and loving young lady and nothing makes me happier than watching you grow. I am so proud of you this year and the way you have settled into high school, cemented the most beautiful friendship with Robyn, stayed so committed to your football team and looked after Harry especially like the little mother-figure you are. And although you are looking more grown up each day, I love that you are in no rush to grow up, still tucking your dolls into your bed each night, still calling me Mama, still never happier than when you see a playground even if it’s the rustiest, most ricketiest old swing in a patch of mud. I hope you hold on to that for a long time yet though Meggy because believe me, growing up isn’t half as much fun as being twelve.

Happy 12th Birthday Megan Alicia, here’s to another year of Kimchi noodles, trips to Home Bargains, laughing inappropriately, begging for Boba tea any time we leave the house and spending ten minutes every morning perfecting the art of the slick back.

We love you all the stars in the sky,

Mummy

xxxx