For Lewis on your 22nd Birthday…

Lewis,

I swear I was only just crying about the fact you turned twenty one and yet somehow here we are at twenty two and the very first birthday in all of those years we aren’t spending the day together. I’ve spent a lot of time today thinking about the day you came into the world and how in that moment on the 16th of April at 16.06, you changed absolutely EVERYTHING in all the very best ways possible.

What I didn’t appreciate back then, as I was sent home from hospital barely any older than you are now with a real life human to take care of, was that life doesn’t always work out the way we planned and as much as you were figuring out the world as you grew, so was I. It hasn’t always been easy – we’ve been through the absolute worst of times if truth be told – but in the same way that we’ve always done, we got through it together and here we are. Still taking are of each other twenty two years later and we’ve not turned out too badly, even if I do say so myself.

Twenty one was very much a year where life didn’t work out the way you planned and, as you found yourself single for the first time in five years, it’s been a learning curve for both of us trying to navigate this new phase. I’m not going to lie, it’s probably been one of my hardest moments as a parent desperately trying to make you happy whilst also feeling completely helpless in how to do that. I found myself longing for the days when I could make everything better with a cuddle or a magic rub on a grazed knee, when your problems were simple, and fixable, and I could tell you that everything would work out for the best with absolute conviction. The truth is, the first heartbreak is impossibly hard and whether you know it’s the right decision or not, it doesn’t make it any easier…..although I think we can both agree that with hindsight, the three week bender over Christmas probably wasn’t the best way to deal with it….. (and yes, I’m still harping on about that!!).

That said, twenty one saw you jet off on countless lads holidays with your mates – Ibiza, Zante, Prague and Belgium – where you’ve had the time of your life from the moments you can remember. Not going to lie, getting those late night phone calls to tell me you’d been mugged in Brussels wasn’t exactly a highlight, nor St Patricks Day when an Irish traveller broke your nose, but for the most part, you’re never happier than with your mates and I am so grateful that you have such a solid group around you who help me to keep you in check. They really do have their work cut out with you!

Twenty one also saw you finally join us for our holiday in Thailand and that family time together was so special to us all. We absolutely loved showing you all of our favourite places in Thailand as well as discovering so many new ones together and I know the for Harry especially those two weeks we spent together were some of his absolute favourite moments. I will never forget the way in which he clung to you as you whizzed around the jungle on the quad bikes, the way he insisted on sitting beside you on every boat trip, the way he bagsied getting on your bamboo raft or in your kayak and how you’d had to paddle twice as hard on a raging hangover because Harry was just lying back and watching the world go by.

We loved introducing you to the madness of Bangkok, watching Muay Thai and cruising down the Klongs, eating pad Thai at every night market and buying rip off designer t-shirts that literally disintegrated in the wash. I loved seeing Thailand through your eyes for the very first time, to share in your excitement and amazement and that familiar sense of peace that seems to wash over us all when we set foot on the islands. I knew almost instantly that you would head back there the first moment you got the chance and it turns out I wasn’t wrong.

Twenty one also saw us travel just the two of us for the first time in fourteen years to Akureyri in Northern Iceland where we spent the best few days in the snow and I loved every single second of our time together. We bathed in the Forest Lagoon whilst you encouraged me to drink way too many pints of cider, we faced full on blizzards to see the most incredible waterfalls at Lake Myvatn, rode snowmobiles through the mountains in what can only be described as one of the most bizarre experiences I’ve ever had, and watched the Northern Lights dance through the skies as I convulsed from the cold and you told me to stop being so dramatic.

And honestly Lew, there were moments on that trip when I’d look at you and think how did we ever get so lucky? Our lives are an entire world away from the hardships we went through for all of those years but when I look at you, I still see that little boy who gave me the strength to keep going. As much as you are an absolute lunatic at times, you are still my favourite person in this whole world and I hope you never forget that.

Amongst all the madness, the weekend benders and the moments I genuinely wondered if you’d gone off the rails, twenty one saw you completely turn things around and declare that actually, health is wealth. And so began the new you – the gym membership, the boot camps, the 0% beers and the endless meals of steak mince and eggs. Supplements started to appear, creatine and protein shakes, 5am get ups for weekend hikes and new PB’s on your countless runs. You started planning to build a business with your best mate, set a date for your final exams as an electrician and decided to take the plunge and head off on your travels to South-East Asia, and I couldn’t be any prouder of you. 

And so this weekend that’s exactly what you will do – take your first ever solo flight half way around the world with a 7kg rucksack and a whole lot of dreams and see where life takes you, and I truly believe it’s going to be the best thing that ever happened to you. I won’t lie, I’m going to miss your daily phone calls when you’re on your lunch break, your random texts telling me about some insane thing you’ve watched on TikTok or hare-brained scheme you’ve dreamt up to make money. I’m going to miss seeing you burst through the door every night ready to cook up your kilo of mince and in the same breath telling me about your drunken escapades from the weekend, but I’m hoping I’ll get lots of updates from your travels and I’ll be right here waiting to hear all of your stories when you come home. Well, maybe not all of them….

Lewis, you are the kindest, funniest, most loyal and lovely boy imaginable and I can’t wait to see what the next twelve month brings. I’ve got a good feeling that this is your year.

Happy 22nd birthday Lewis Robert.

Love you all the stars in the sky.

Mum

xxxxxx