|

For Eva on your 6th Birthday

ByLaura Dove

Eva,

How are we here again so soon? Another year gone in the blink of an eye, just twelve short months since I sat here writing to you on your fifth birthday. For today you are six and, as proud as I am that you have grown so beautifully, I can’t help but swallow the lump in my throat that you will never again be five.

It’s funny because six years ago, before you came screaming into the world at 7.45pm, just as Manchester United was about to kick off (something your big brother still holds against you all these years later), I found it impossible to imagine a life with you in it. After the most terrifying 35 weeks carrying you, when I was so convinced that you wouldn’t make it, I simply could not allow myself to believe that you would be ours to keep.

And now, six wonderful years later, I find it impossible to imagine a life without you.

And despite all of my worries and fears that I wouldn’t bond with you as I should, so desperate to protect myself from any more heartache, the moment you opened those big blue eyes and looked into mine, I knew that everything would be okay. And it was.

Six years on and I find it so hard to see the four of you grow so fast, to accept that the older you, Lewis, Megan and Harry get, the more redundant I become. And yet with you, I feel wanted, and needed, every single day. You are the one who will always rush into my arms, slip your little hand in mine, snuggle up beside me and tell me, a hundred times a day, “I love you Mama.”

Your favourite thing to do is to write, just like Mummy, and I have hundreds of notes you have sent me this year, all kept safely in the front page of my journal, literally bursting at the seams. And one day when I am old and grey, and you are preoccupied with a family of your own, those notes will be my most treasured possession I’m sure, and for that reason I can’t bear to part with a single one.

This year has been tough for you Eva, something which broke all of our hearts . Seeing you struggle to settle at school was the hardest thing I have ever faced as a parent and, although I tried my hardest to help you with your fears, I spent so much of this last year feeling that I had failed you. For every morning you cried into my arms, and every bedtime you sobbed into your pillow, I felt every single one of your worries and fears, and I would have done anything at all to take them away from you.

And yet now, after the most amazing efforts from your teacher, you have finally discovered that school can be a whole world of wonderful. You have started looking forward to seeing your friends, learning new things, and every single day you amaze me with something new. Just the other week you stood on stage in your class assembly and, for the first time in six years, you found the confidence to say your line out loud, so lovely and clear, and I have never been more proud of you.

I guess that’s a word we use a lot when we talk about you – proud. And I am proud, the proudest mummy in all the world, from the moment you were placed into my arms and every second of every day since. Not only are you breathtakingly beautiful but you are the kindest, most loving, clever and intuitive little girl in all the world. Every time somebody stops us in the supermarket to comment on your big blue eyes, or to marvel at your hair, right down to your waist, I feel ten feet tall. Every night when you sit down and read to me, or present me with your latest masterpiece, I burst with pride a thousand times over.

We’ve had the most fun together this year haven’t we? So many days out and family holidays away, and you have adored every single one. From our Summer in Devon to Autumn in Scotland, our days have been filled with so much adventure, and yet my favourite memory of you this year is from our camping trip to Anglesey, a last minute bid to enjoy the last of sunshine, and quite possibly the best holiday we’ve ever had.

I have genuinely never seen you look as happy as you did sat there, crabbing on the pier, the sun on your face, a twinkle in your eye, your whole face lighting up with excitement every time you reeled in a crab. “I can teach crabs to dance!” you told me, “They do it just like this!” And dancing up and down the pier, moving your arms and legs from side to side, hysterical with laughter, is one memory I will cherish for always.

Because five was a wonderful year for you in so many ways Eva. It was the year you discovered a love of the theatre, the hot tub, and “going out for tea”, the year you rode a bike, built dens and cardboard forts.

Five was the year you searched for fairies in bluebell woods, played at princesses in lavender fields, climbed trees, splashed in streams, ate picnics with grubby hands and a wet bottom.

Five was the year you picked strawberries and pumpkins, made daisy chains in the garden, whizzed down the zip wires at the park, the year you woke every single morning and asked “Where shall we go today?”.

Five was the year you went camping, built sandcastles, jumped waves, rode donkeys, dug holes, played football, felt the sun on your face and begged me, “Can we please stay here forever?”.

Five was the year you learned it’s okay to be silly and lose your inhibitions; the year you, Megan and Harry joined forces to cause mayhem, run riot, and spent your days filled with laughter….and often tears!

Five was the year you welcomed Meggy to school each day, when you skipped down the road holding hands, played gymnastics at play time, and rushed into each others arms at pick up.

Five was the year when Megan was your bestest friend in all the world.

Five was the year you learned to protect Harry, the year Lewis was your absolute hero and Joseph was never far from your thoughts.

Five was the year we went back to Lapland, when you were utterly certain of Father Christmas, of fairies and magic; when you dreamed of owning a pet unicorn and believed that anything was possible.

Five was the year you climbed trees and rode rollercoasters, flew down water slides and shed your arm bands. Five was the year you found your voice, your feet, and your courage.

Last night I asked you, “Will you still love me when you’re six?”, and, as you threw your arms around my neck, you told me, “I’ll love you more because there will be more of me to love you!”. And as I sniffed away my tears and drank in one last hug of being five, I willed with all my heart that you will always love me just as much as you do right now.

Happy 6th Birthday to my beautiful little rainbow, you have brightened my very darkest days.

Love you all the stars in the sky.

xxxxx

Similar Posts

178 Comments

  2. Aww this is such a beautiful letter, what an amazing thing for you both to look back on in the future and remember all those things that were loved and learned in the year.

    Reply

  4. Happy Birthday Eva, I hope your 6th birthday has been amazing.
    This is so beautiful Laura, I’m so glad she’s settled in to school now. I was heartbreaking to read last year so cant imagine how it must have been for you guys.

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much Helen. Ahh it was just awful, I can’t tell you how amazing it is to see her enjoying school! I’m so proud of her! xx

      Reply

  5. Oh such a beautiful letter you have penned to Eva. She will love reading this when she is a lot older. Here’s a big huge birthday wish for the beautiful princess. Hope she has had an amazing birthday and will continue to enjoy the year.

    Reply

  7. This is just so lovely to read . – I hope you can look back at this post together when she is older and she can see how much you love her! So many beautiful and happy pictures, made me smile.

    Reply

  8. Happy 6th birthday to this cutie pie! I hope she has a lovely day today. This post couldn’t be more sweet and heartfelt. They grow up so fast and sometimes it’s tough to keep up.

    Reply

  9. Happy birthday Eva! I hope you have the best day ever! I think this letter from your mom is really very sweet, you’re both lucky to have each other. It feels as if time just flew by!

    Reply

  12. When I read that her question of will you still love me at six almost brought you to tears….the first thing I thought was that one day she’ll look back and read this letter one day and it will probably bring her to tears. Beautifully written.

    Reply

  14. Oh my goodness, talk about wistfulness! This is absolutely precious and Eva is a little doll! This is one for the baby book, Mom because she will come to cherish reading this as she gets older. Happy Birthday, Eva!

    Reply

  17. This was a beautifully heartfelt letter, I felt the love you have for your daughter. You have a lovely family.x

    Reply

  18. This is such a beautiful letter and such a wonderful idea. I wish to do this one day for my child and to give them something remember.

    Reply

  19. aww what a sweet post. Such a beautiful letter. Loving the idea of this post. Kids grow up so fast! My mum always tells me how she feels like i was still a baby not so long ago! And that how weird it was to so me leave for uni! xx corinne

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much. Yes I think it’s only now I have children that I realise how my Mum must have felt too! xx

      Reply

  20. That was absolutely precious. What a beautiful little girl inside and out. I pray she has many, many wonderful years with you as her mommy. You look like a wonderful parent.

    Reply

  21. This is lovely! I love the idea that your kids can read this blog when they’re older. It reminds me of the ‘time capsule’ concept.

    Reply

  22. Happy birthday you little gorgeous princess ! wishing you the best in life and may all your wishes& dreams come true
    Congratulation darling 🙂 you have such beautiful children

    Reply

  23. Wow that was a heartfelt letter you’ve got for your daughter. Time flies so fast . That was an achievement for your girl to overcome her struggles to settle at school. Good job for her. Happy six birthday to your daughter. She’s lucky to have you 🙂

    Reply

  30. Your letter is heartwarming, I wish I have written a letter too for my daughter each year from the time she was born. For her to remember how happy I was as a father. Happy birthday to you Eva.

    Reply

  34. This was beautiful. How lucky is she! She will be able to read this back later on in life. What a beautiful gift.

    Reply

    1. Thank you Emilie. I do hope one day they all read back these letters and remember how loved they were. xx

      Reply

  35. This is heartwarming. I feel exactly the same with each of my kids. And now that my youngest is turning three soon. I feel like I’m always looking at baby pictures and videos and always feeling nostlagic. You have a beautiful family.

    Reply

  36. Stunning photos as ever Laura. Eva seems to have crammed a lot into this year and Caitlin will be so jealous that she met a live parrot x

    Reply

  37. Aw this is such a lovely memory, great to look back on for years to come. Your little family is adorable! Your two girls are clearly the best of friends and they always look so happy in your photos! Happy 6th birthday Eva!

    Reply

  39. This post brought me to tears, happy ones. Your writing style makes me feel so close to you as you are so open and you give words such a higher intensity.
    Eva will definitely become a writer, I can see it from now. She is so beautiful, inside and out and always seeing pictures with her on Instagram brightens my day as I feel she emanates so much (pure) Joy.

    Happy birthday, blessed child ! ♥

    Reply

    1. Ahh Catalina, thank you so much, that’s so kind of you to say. She is a very special little girl, she absolutely helped to heal my heart and I will never stop pinching myself that she is really ours to keep. xx

      Reply

  41. This is so stunning! It’s hit me really hard as my girl is five, almost six and everything you said is so true! The love of life that five year olds seem to have is amazing and while watching my own daughter makes me proud every day, it does, like you, make me a little sad that my baby is growing up. Anyway, this is a truly beautiful piece. Really!

    Reply

    1. Thank you Laura. Its so hard to see then grow, but also lovely as they develop into the most amazing little (big!) people! I just wish that time would slow down a little! xx

      Reply

  43. So many beautiful pictures here and beautiful memories. This is a wonderful way to record your little girls years. #bigpinklink

    Reply

  47. What a beautiful post Laura! LP is growing up fast too – he’ll be 8 in April and I still can’t believe it. He does still like to hold my hand when we’re walking to school and I have to admit to clinging to him for life because I’m afraid of the day he chooses not to!
    I hope Eva has a wonderful birthday!
    #bigpinklink

    Reply

    1. Thank you Morgan. It’s always hard to see them grow, Lewis is 14 in April and I’m sure he was just four!! xx

      Reply

  48. What a beautiful family you have! Happy Birthday little one! #bigpinklink

    Reply

  50. Happy birthday, poppet. don’t the years just fly in 🙂 your family is just so gorgeous Laura. I love reading your families post, always so much thought put into them and they are so heartfelt 🙂 xx

    Reply

    2. Thank you Lynne. I love writing these posts each year, I so hope that one day she looks back on them and remembers just how special her childhood was. xx

      Reply

  52. Oh. So sweet. I love your letter, so beautifully written. I can imagine how you are as a mom. Am sure, Eva will enjoy every moment of her 6th. Happy birthday Princess. By the way, lovely pics.

    Reply

  53. Stunning photos and a couple of places I recognise I think…Chester Zoo, Beaumaris Pier (going crabbing is the law if you visit Beaumaris – just watch out for those seagulls!). I got very emotional reading and was keeping it together until I got to the bit when she said that when she turned six there would be more of her to love you. That is just priceless. Lovely post #bigpinklink

    Reply

    1. Ahh thank you Mel, I cried writing this, just as I do every year!! And yes, Beaumauris is my absolute favourite place we have ever been. That week away was a spur of the moment decision, it cost next to nothing, but it was the best few days we have ever spent together. I am so excited to go back there this year…although yes! The seagulls were vicious!! Than you for your lovely comment. xx

      Reply

  59. Such a lovely letter. It’ll mean so much to them all when they’re older to read these words. Hope this year is full of good things for you and yours.

    Reply

    1. Ahh thank you so much for reading, I had a little (okay a big) cry writing this. There is something so emotional about birthdays isn’t there…even more so when your babies have grown so fast. xx

      Reply

  61. Beautiful as always Laura. I have a tear in my eye. Hope she has a wonderful birthday. I always remember when Big turned 6. He burst into out bedroom on the morning of his birthday ran straight to the full length mirror and catching sight of his reflection looked completely crestfallen. When i asked him what was wrong he said “I thought I would be bigger now I am 6”!!! #BigPinkLink

    Reply

    1. Ahh that’s utterly adorable!! It’s funny how children see their birthday isn’t it, as though they will have grown over night rather than just one day older. That one day is pretty huge when you’re a child. Thank you for reading my lovely. xx

      Reply

  62. Oh Laura, this is so beautifully written. You have captured a whole year so wonderfully with your words and pictures. You can see there is such a wonderful bond between everyone of you and that is something I really hope flourishes with us, the twins and Ben.
    Happy Birthday Eva, may your Sixth year be as wonderful and eventful as your fifth!
    Thanks for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much. Eva was so long awaited by so many people and she was everything we dreamt of and more. There is nothing more amazing than seeing your children together, you are going have the most amazing adventure with your three boys! xxx

      Reply

        1. Ahh that’s so lovely. One of my best friends is pregnant with twins so I’m super excited about it too! xx

          Reply

  63. Happy Birthday Eva! Such a beautiful girl, inside and out. What a wonderful trip down memories made. xx

    Reply

    1. Ahh thank you so much Louise. I cried writing it, its been a wonderful year in so many ways. xx

      Reply

  66. You have me in tears I am so happy you got your rainbow baby, it must have been terribly scary wondering if she would be born safely and she was! She is amazing and I love that she loves to write like you that is super sweet! Happy birthday to your sweet girl xx #dreamteam

    Reply

    1. Ahh thank you my lovely. She really is the best thing that happened to us as a family and everyone adores her. I also love that she wants to be a writer like Mummy, I was exactly the same at her age! xx

      Reply

  67. Such a beautiful letter and such a wonderful year. I’m so happy that she is settling into school much better and can now start to enjoy it. Bless her little heart

    Reply

  69. She’s beautiful! This is beautiful! What lovely memories you have made in the last year and I’m sure there will be alot more to come! Well done and I look forward to reading more.

    Reply

  70. What a beautiful post for lovely Eva. I’m so glad to hear she is more settled at school. Your photos are stunning; I especially love the unicorn one! #thatfridaylinky

    Reply

    1. Thank you Sophie. Ahh that was daddy working his magic, there’s nothing he won’t do for the children! xx

      Reply

  71. Happy birthday Eva beautiful letter and fantastic photos Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

    Reply

  72. Your letters are always beautifully honest and make me feel the emotion as you write! What a year you’ve had and I’m so happy for you all with how school has improved! Happy 6th Birthday #TriumphantTales

    Reply

  74. Such a lovely post- one that Eva is going to love rereading when she is older. Such a beautiful little girl.

    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time

    Reply

    1. Thank you Nicola, I would have loved to have these letters to look back on from when I was small so I hope the children really enjoy them! xx

      Reply

  75. Awww this is beautiful! Such a wonderful selection of pictures and memories. I am so glad she has conquered school and will love you more now since there is more of her to love. I love the way they see things. An oh my all that hair when she was tiny so cute xx

    Reply

    1. Thank you Claire, she was the most adorable baby wasn’t she? I can’t believe she is SIX already! It’s been a whirlwind! xx

      Reply

  77. Beautiful words, beautiful pictures, beautiful daughter that you’re rightly proud of. Beautiful post Laura! #kcacols

    Reply

  78. Beautiful Laura and I’m so pleased that the biggest thing has been the turnaround for her (and you) with school. I know what a difference this has meant for you both. She sounds just like Alice, she is always the one to hug me constantly and tell me she loves. Constantly writing and I too have so many little notes from her. Aren’t we lucky to have such beautiful girls? We have to make sure we all meet up this summer. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    Reply

  79. What a stunning way to capture such a precious year of memories. Your photos are simply breathtaking Laura. Happy birthday Eva. Thank you for sharing this with us at #DreamTeam x

    Reply

    1. Ahh thank you so much Dawn, she’s a very special little girl that’s for sure! xx

      Reply

  80. Oh Laura, this is BEAUTIFUL! What a year of gorgeous memories, truly the stuff that childhood is made of. I’m so pleased that she’d finding her way with school, and that you’re finally seeing her shine there in the same way that she shines at home. And it’s so clear in your photos and your writing just how much she shines! Happy birthday Eva, I hope it was a brilliant one! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    Reply

    1. Ahh thank you so much Katy. I waited for such a long time for Eva to come along and I genuinely can’t tell you how she took away so much of my heartache. We are so lucky to have her, and to see her happy really does mean the world! xx

      Reply

  83. What a lovely letter and pics, it’s heart wrenching when your children are unhappy and you can’t seem to fix it for them. Glad she’s settling into school now x #KCACOLS

    Reply

  84. Happy Birthday to your (big) little lady! my eldest daughter is 6 next month and honestly I just want to freeze time (with her anyway, I wouldn’t mind the baby growing up a little and sleeping a bit more! :-)) #SharingTheBlogLove

    Reply

  85. Happy Birthday to your (big) little lady! my eldest daughter is 6 next month and honestly I just want to freeze time (with her anyway, I wouldn’t mind the baby growing up a little and sleeping a bit more! :-)) #SharingTheBlogLove

    Reply

  88. Ahhh Laura!! You always make me tear up!! I’ve been reading your letters to your children for a while now and I agree, the time goes so fast, it’s terrifying! So pleased that Eva has settled into school now and seems to be loving it. What a lovely letter for her and you to look back on in years to come. xxx #KCACOLS

    Reply

    1. Ahh thank you Cheryl. I cried writing this if I’m honest, six seems so grown up doesn’t it? She’s had such a journey this year, I can’t quite believe the change in her in 12 short months. xx

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge