#AD I am Mum, But What Does That Mean?
When I was asked to work with Center Parcs on their #ThisIsFamily campaign, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. I’m sure it goes without saying that family is everything to me and I still pinch myself every single day that these four beautiful children are mine to keep. Still, that doesn’t mean that finding time for the six of us comes easily, and Center Parcs knows that. They know that life can be be hard, juggling children, juggling school, work, friends, and all of our other commitments, which is why, when you escape for a stay at Center Parcs, they allow you to give your family the very best version of yourself, away from the stress, away from distractions, just living in the moment, surrounded by nature.
Fourteen years ago, when I was handed my beautiful baby boy and became a Mummy for the first time, I had no idea just how much my life was about to change. From the moment I left that hospital, driving home at 20mph the whole way, gripping the car seat like my life depended on it, I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to be the best Mummy to my son.
And, five children later, I have tried hard to keep that promise, but it hasn’t always been easy. Because it turns out that being a Mum is so much harder than I ever thought it would be and I’m not ashamed to admit that I struggle at times. I doubt that many of us are the parent we thought we would be, and certainly not the parent we hoped to be, but all of us are doing the best we can, juggling all of these different roles, and trying our very hardest to keep our balls in the air.
For me, being a Mum starts right at the beginning, from that very first moment they are placed on your chest, all tiny and pink, their arms flailing and screaming at the top of their lungs. And from the very first time they take their little hand in yours, you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they were worth all of that pain, and that you will never love anyone so strongly, or protect anyone so fiercely, as you do right there in that moment.
Being a Mum is all about learning. It’s the moment when you take them home and realise you may as well throw the baby manual out of the window, that your baby has individual wants and needs and the only person who can figure that out is you. It’s about learning to trust your instinct, even on the days you might doubt yourself, doing what is right for you and your child, even if that goes against popular opinion, and knowing that there will be times when you have zero clue what you’re doing, but you’re doing the best you can on any given day. And that is enough.
Being a Mum is about sacrifice – your body, your time, your sleep, your social life. It’s sacrificing a career you love so you can be at home with the children, or returning to work to support your family, even when it pains you. It’s turning down invitations because you can’t get a sitter, or cancelling at the last minute when one of the children inevitably falls ill. It’s sacrificing shopping trips for swimming lessons, expensive meals out for burger and chips, wild nights out for quiet nights in, Sunday morning lie-ins for 5am wake ups. It’s making these sacrifices because you want to, and doing it even when you don’t; it’s knowing that however much you miss your sleep, your spare time, your privacy, you still wouldn’t change it for all the world.
Being a Mum is about pride. The first time they smile, roll, sit, crawl, take their first wobbly steps towards your open arms and utter their first word, Mama. It’s the feeling your heart may burst when you see them on a stage, a tea towel on their head, singing at the top of their voice in their first school nativity; it’s the lump in your throat at parents evenings or awards night, when you realise you must be doing something right to have raised a child so smart, so talented, so highly thought of. It’s the rush of love when you catch a glimpse of them from a distance, the way their hair falls in soft curls against their neck, the flush of their cheeks, the twinkle in their eye, and you ask yourself, for the millionth time, how did I ever got so lucky?
Being a Mum is about worry. It’s the nights spent sleeping on their bedroom floor when they’re poorly, staying awake just to check they’re still breathing, sitting bolt upright with every cough, every sneeze, every whimper. It’s the nights when you drive like a maniac to the emergency doctor, spiking a temperature you just can’t bring down, the days sat by their bedside on a busy children’s ward, watching their little chest rise and fall. It’s wiping snotty noses and bloody knees, kissing bumps and nursing bruises, stroking sweaty heads and protecting broken bones, wishing you could switch places and take their pain away.
Being a Mum is about patience. It’s biting your tongue when they stumble over the right words, when they take an hour just to eat a few mouthfuls, when they insist on buttoning their own coats or fastening their own shoe laces. It’s silently counting to ten when they take forever to clean their teeth, reminding yourself that it’s not the end of the world to be late, for the fourth time running that week. It’s giving in and watching Cbeebies, even when the sight of Mr Tumble makes you want to gouge your own eyes out, it’s faking laughter when you fail to see the hilarity of watching Daddy Pig and his big fat tummy for the nineteenth time that day.
Being a Mum is about letting go. It’s taking them to their first day of pre-school, to primary and high school, waving them goodbye and feeling as though your heart is breaking. It’s the silent tears as you walk away, the desperate sobs on the drive home, the harsh realisation that your babies are growing up and that time is passing by so fast. It’s the feeling of dread the first time you drop them at a party or a play date, the knot in your stomach the first time you let them play out with friends, the rush of panic as they disappear from view and the nervous pacing until they are back in your arms. It’s the sudden realisation that they are almost as tall as you, their feet two sizes bigger, that somehow you have failed to notice they are no longer a child at all, that you are no longer the centre of their world.
Being a Mum is about love. The kind of love that is unexplicable, unconditional, immeasurable. It’s the cuddles, the kisses, the moments that make your heart melt. It’s a hand made Mothers Day Card, a wilted bunch of daisies in a grubby hand, a tired little face kissing you goodnight, the moments when they turn to you and tell you, “Mummy, I will love you forever!”.
Being a Mum is about loss. It’s about the moment we learn the heartbreaking truth that not every pregnancy results in a healthy baby, that there are Mum’s out there with empty arms, those who had to say goodbye, some even before their journeys began. It’s about learning how to parent a baby you never met, or whom you can no longer see, learning how to survive when your whole world has ended, when you’re not even sure you can find a way forward.
Being a Mum is about being strong, even on the days when you’re struggling. It’s about forcing yourself to get out of bed in the morning, put one foot in front of the other, and blindly navigate a life after loss. It’s about coping with the worry for existing or subsequent children, the anxiety which keeps you awake at night, the fear of history repeating itself, processing the why’s and the what if’s. It’s about accepting, that although all you have are broken hopes and dreams, a scan photo, a babygro, a grave to visit, you are still very much their Mummy, and always will be.
Being a Mum is about putting your child first even when your whole world is upside down, even at the times when your heart is breaking. It’s about embracing a lifetime you didn’t plan for, waving your child goodbye every other weekend, taking an interest in step-parents, new siblings, a whole life you are no longer a part of. It’s about swallowing your pride, forgiving mistakes, working as a team, and doing the right thing for your child, even when it doesn’t feel like the right thing for you.
Being a Mum is about knowing when to pick your battles, leaving the room when your temper is rising, allowing yourself to remember that you too were 14 once and a few clothes on the floor or dirty dishes in the sink isn’t the end of the world. It’s finding the right balance, the right ground rules, the right amount of honesty and guidance; it’s about knowing when to be a Mum and when to be a friend. It’s about learning how to keep them close without wanting to push them away, about respecting their privacy without turning a blind eye. It’s about teaching them right from wrong, raising them to have good values, trusting them to make the right decisions, and forgiving them when they don’t.
Being a Mum is about having fun. It’s the funny faces and silly voices, singing songs and reading stories, playing games and running races. It’s about splashing in the sea on Summer days, building sandcastles on golden sands, eating ice cream and fish and chips, staying up late and lazy mornings. It’s watching Frozen on repeat, belting out your part during the Anna and Elsa duet; it’s playing Hungry Hippos for the fifty millionth time since Christmas, and still always letting them win. It’s stepping on Lego, drinking pretend cups of tea, blowing out candles on a make believe birthday cake, pushing them on the swings when your so cold you can’t feel your hands.
Being a Mum is about being a parent, a carer, a cleaner, a chef. It’s being a nurse, a teacher, a referee, a taxi driver. It’s being the Tooth Fairy, Father Christmas, and the Easter Bunny. It’s spinning all of your plates at the same time, tearing yourself in two, making sacrifices, doubting your abilities, your strength, your sanity. It’s the laughter, the cries, the relentless screams, the moments when you look at yourself and wonder, when did I turn into my own Mother? It’s the good days the bad days, the hiding in a cupboard eating chocolate days; it’s the ordinary and the extraordinary, the moments you want to remember and the ones you’d rather forget.
But it’s this, all of this, that makes up a Mum and sometimes, every once in a while, we can escape all of our worries, and all of our daily chores, and soak up every last moment of family time together, just being the very best version of ourselves. And those moments, and these memories, are the ones we will always remember.
I am Laura Dove. Mum, wife, daughter, friend, blogger, chief negotiator, lecturer, professional worrier, master of disguising vegetables, and former Wispa addict.
And this is family.
** I am working with Center Parcs on their #ThisIsFamily campaign and have been compensated for my time. All words and opinions are my own. **
This is lovely and you’re so right being a mum is everything. The good, the bad and the ugly! Such gorgeous photos and how you manage with 4 I have no idea!! I struggle with 2! xx
Thanks Fran. I honestly have no idea how we manage some days, being a Mum is HARD isn’t it? xx
Love the photos. It is good to know that you know the good meaning of being a mother. I dunno how my mother handled me. But still, she did well.
Haha I think it’s only when you have children of your own you realise just how hard your own Mum worked! It’s the toughest job in all the world that’s for sure! xx
Great post this. I think being a ‘mum’ means you get to be on go on so many adventures! From the dull to the amazing they are still journeys you wouldn’t get to go on without having kids!
Thanks Jon. I love that idea, every day is an adventure with these four, some amazing and some pretty hideous, but we learn from them all! xx
What a beautiful post! Love the photos – you have such an amazing family!
Gorgeous 🙂 I am not a Mum, but this makes me want kids!
Ahh thank you, I’m a very proud Mummy! xx
What beautiful words! I love everything about being a mom. My 5 kids are all grown now and they were all at my house for dinner yesterday – with their spouses and kids in tow. I remember thinking about how blessed I am. This post took me back to their growing up years.
Thank you so much. Oh wow you must have a big dinner table! I think about that a lot, about when they are older and have spouses and children of their own. It’s SO hard letting them grow, but it’s going to be lovely when we all get together! xx
This is wonderful and being a mum is hard work and society doesn’t give us the credit for everything we do. Who cares it is the best job in the world.
YES! Plus I think it’s very easy to assume that we have an easy ride, especially those who choose to stay home with their kids. It’s the hardest job I’ve ever done! xx
Being a mum is SO many different things. I have learned more than I ever could have possibly imagined from my children and being a mum is definitely the best gift of all time.
I totally agree, I think we concentrate so hard on teaching our children all of life’s lessons and yet actually, they can teach us so much more! xx
The photos and your story of loss was just moving for me. You worded everything so beautifully Im in tears here tonight reading. Your photos are so so stunning … be proud of the mother you are I know your children will be when they read this in the future 🙂
Ah thank you so much Kristie. I am such a proud mummy, and a very lucky one too. It’s hard though this parenting thing, and family time is SO important, especially when your family isn’t all it seems on paper. xx
This is a lovely post and felt myself nodding along – it is really true. Right from the point where you find out you are pregnant there are sacrifices, but it is all worth it a million times over 🙂 x
Thank you Rebecca. Absolutely, it’s the hardest job in the world but definitely the most rewarding! xx
This is so beautiful- mum is SO many things wrapped in one ha. i def learn that it’s challenging and we have up and down days but i love this role im in!
Oh it’s the most challenging role I’ve ever had but the most rewarding by far. Family life is far from perfect but the good times far outweigh the bad! xx
You are a mum and that means that you are just great! Raising such gorgeous kids is no easy thing at all. You all just look so beautiful!
Ah thank you so much! We are just doing our best, it is hard but it’s so rewarding. xx
What a beautiful post and gorgeous family. I only have two and they are grown now, but being a mum is a difficult task no matter how old they are.
Ah thank you Janet. It’s so difficult, I am sure as they grow there are new worries and problems of their own! xx
I love your thoughts and emotions here. I think motherhood was the purpose I was put here on earth. I know my daughter is going to add so much beauty to the world through her art, books, fashion, and love for the human race.
Thank you Terri. That’s so lovely and I feel exactly the same. xx
This is such a wonderful post. Being a mum is so much more than biologically being mom. So much goes into it. It’s a labor of love that is never finished.
Thank you Karen. Absolutely, and Motherhood, and parenthood comes in all shapes and forms. I love this campaign for reminding us of this. xx
first of all you have a wonderful family, the photos are just lovely. I do not have any kids but I can easily see how challenging and yet fun and rewarding to be a mum!
Thank you so much. I’m a very proud Mummy, however difficult it may be at times! xx
This was lovely! BEing a mom means so much! So much love, sacrifice, no sleep, tears and joy… I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Thank you. I totally agree, we may be tired and stressed and have zero time to even breathe some days, but it’s the best job in all the world! xx
Such great words. I only was able to have one child, but what a difference this world is for me with him. Although he’s 32, I still love when I hear him say “mom”.
Oh I bet, nothing beats that moment. I waited a long time for my family and I will never tire of hearing them say my name xxx
What a lovely post. Being a mum is so many things but for me I’ve become such a worrier. I was always a little anxious but kids have magnified it ten fold.
Oh me too! With every baby I have become more and more anxious, I don’t think that will ever stop no matter how old they get! xx
This is a very good post! Just a reminder to all mums there to do their best but know that you are a great mum to your family not the perfect mum. I have lost a baby myself and I know that pain also. It can be so hard to Move on.
I’m sorry to hear that Jeanette, it’s very hard to move on and I’m not sure I ever will. Being the right Mum for your children is so important, not being the perfect mum you think you should be. xx
I love this post so much – being a mum means so many things and all of the above! X
Thank you Talya. It’s impossible to fully put into words just what it means! xx
A mum is a tough job but it is so worth it. I love being a mum.
Me too! It’s all I ever really wanted to “be”… xx
Being a mum is so many things. I am not a mother yet but if I could be half the mother my mum was to me I would be happy!
Ahh that is such a lovely thing to say about your Mum, I feel the same way about mine. xx
Great post. Being a mum is all about heart, your heart bursts with pride and your heart fills with love, you love your kids with all your heart, forever.
Yes! I sometimes feel as though my heart could burst with love and pride and thankfulness that they are mine. xx
This is a sweet post, and I so agree. Being a mum is all these things, plus so much more. It’s tough, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thank you. That’s exactly it – it’s the hardest job in the world but we wouldn’t change it! xx
I want to be a mom one day but this thing scares me so much! Reading this article gave me more confidence and courage! Thank you!
Ah thank you. Motherhood IS scary, but it’s the best thing I ever did. I’m sure when the time comes you will be amazing xx
You have such a beautiful family! I followed your journey and your family on instagram and I never told you but I admire you very much as a woman, as a person and as a mother. As a mother I think you are a hero !
Ah thank you so much! That really does mean such a lot to me, thank you. xxx
Being a mum is such a rewarding and challenging experience all at the same time. It’s really the best job ever.
It is, even if it’s so hard at times! xx
You inspire me in so many ways with this post! You are like one of those superhero moms people always look up to!
Thank you Gena. I’m not sure about that but your comment really made me smile. xx
I love everything about this. Being a Mom is challenging, but also incredibly rewarding! You sound like a great Mom!
Ah thank you so much Heather. xx
Your family is beautiful and you are awesome. I love how you touched on no one being the parent the thought they would be. I think alot of pressure is placed upon us but you always know best for your child(ren).
Thank you Jess. I think being the right parent for your children is so much more important than trying to be the perfect parent for others. xx
I couldn’t agree with you more on how being a mum means sacrifice and having patience. You’d be surprised how many times I’ve had to remind myself of being patient in a day.
Being patient is not my strongest quality I have to admit, it’s hard work with kids! xx
What a beautiful family and a beautiful post. I love the pictures as well. Being a mom is the best job I will ever have!
Thank you Nancy xx
What a beautiful post, being a mum is a lot of reposnibility but rewarding. Yoru pictures tell a story that is why I love them so much. Sending blessings your way!
Thank you xx
Being a mom is not easy and you summed it up so nicely! I actually lose patience with just 1 and hats off to you for doing a good job with 5.
Haha these kids love to test our patience! xx
Being a Mum does require you to be so strong even when you feel so weak and you want to run away from it all. Congrats on being a Mum of 5 and continue to hold on to what you have no matter how difficult life may seem to you.
Thank you so much. I think being strong for our children is something us Mums are very good at, but it’s also important to show them that it’s okay to struggle too. xx
So beautifully worded (as always), being a mum is so much more than just having a child. It is all the mundane little things that you do without thinking.
Thank you Sarah. Yes definitely! I doubt there is a Mum out there who hasn’t found Motherhood so much harder than they ever thought it would be! xx
You have a beautiful family and pretty sure you are an amazing mum. Yes I agree with you- being a mum involves lots and lots of sacrifices but so much worth it.
Thank you so much. Being a Mum means giving up so much of ourselves but it’s worth it, even on the really bad days! xx
Us mums around here have it sussed … we are lucky enough to be under 40 mins away from a Centerparcs … so every now and again we book a term-time mid-week break. Each morning we drop the children at school then head to the park for some spa/pool/relax time. Then we go get the kids so they can make use of the facilities during the evening. Perfect!!
Oh that sounds amazing!! What a fab idea, the spa facilities are amazing at CP! xx
This has certainly touched my heart. Being a mum is one of the most beautiful thing that can happen. Your kids are so lucky to have you.
Thank you so much Hannah xx
This is beautiful. Being a mum certainly brings it’s challenges, but it’s the most rewarding job in the world.
I think reading this made me appreciate my mum a bit more. I just want to give her a big hug now. Excellent piece and very moving.
Thank you Lewis. That’s so lovely too, I bet she would really appreciate that. xx
Love this post! Yep, being a Mom can be exhausting but it is everything. It is fulfilling and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
What a beautiful share about your family! As a mum myself I can agree there is so much that goes into being a mum, and the emotions are like a rollercoaster from happiness to sadness to excitement…joy to tears…I am so proud or being a mum!
This is such a beautiful post and you have such a beautiful family. Being a mum is the most challenging yet most rewarding (although worst paid) job there is.
This is such a sweet post. Being a mom is such a difficult, rewarding, multifaceted experience for sure.
You have written this in such a lovely way. I can identify with all of it, including the loss. Mothering is such a difficult job with so many needs happening all at the same time, but I too wouldn’t change it for the world
I love all the pictures here in this post. I agree that it’s super important to know when to pick your battles as a mom.
So beautifully written Laura, and all so very true. Such a lovely post and great to team up with Center Parcs too.
Love this post. So many beautiful photos of you and your family
Being a mom is really the most important job in the world and the hardest job in the world. I have two little boys and some days it takes everything I have just to roll out of bed. But no matter what you always keep going!
Being a mom definitely means all sorts of different things to different people. This is so beautiful and I am so happy that you have found love in your family.
This post about being a mom and your journey is really heartwarming. I am not a mother yet but This post reminds me of my own mother who has unconditional love for me.
This post is so lovely and touching, we agree in so many levels, thanks for sharing that and your gorgeous pictures with us.
Being a mum is so much than your own being. I think you covered everything in this post x Totally agree with patience. You need a lot of that!
Having kids is a life changing its a lot of work but its a good work. Those photos above are so precious it made me smile to look out you are bless.
Beautiful post and all so true 🙂 Being a Mum is tough at times, but oh so rewarding.
Being a mum is everything to me, but I have let it get in the way of life sometimes and have learned to step back and have some time for me, as it makes me appreciate the family so much more
You’ve GOT to stop making me cry every time I read you! All these emotions and facts about being a mum are spot on. I have to admit with shame thought that I absolutely can’t relate to the paragraph on patience or leaving the room when the temper is rising…STILL haven’t mastered that art!!
I love this!! What a read very emotional and heart felt. Clearly you are a super duper mum for sure and I am sure your kids are very grateful for it xx
This is a lovely post. I am glad you highlighted the struggles alongside all the wonderful moments. Beautiful family!
What a beautifully written piece! You’ve summed up the essence of being a mum so well.
This was such a lovely read, being a mum is much more than just giving birth and most of us forget that mums have to sacrifice so much and be the everything that we need in almost all situations.
I love this post so much. It is so very beautiful and touching. And you are going to have to teach me your vegetable hiding ways. I need to become a student of the master if I want to make my daughter healthier. 😉 Wishing you the best of weekends!
Awww this post is just amazing!! Yes yes yes a mum is all this and so much more! Made me tear up – so moving x
Yes! Absolutely right! Being a mum is definitely about sacrifice, and the good, the bad, and the ugly! Love this article!
It is so true that being a mom encompasses so many different things. I hate that there is guilt and worry, but it’s universal.
There is so much to being a mum the good and the bad and that constant feeling you are never doing enough! I don’t think I will ever get over the mummy guilt! …. or the worry! Xx
You Laura you’re such an amazing mum and You give your children some of the most fantastic adventures!