I have made no secret of the fact that over the last fifteen months, Eva has struggled massively with school. We’ve had tears every evening and every morning, we’ve had hysterics at school drop off, and she has missed out on so many wonderful moments due to her fears, her anxieties and most of all her lack of confidence. And that has broken my heart day after day.
I always look forward to the school holidays, even more so the Christmas holidays as this last half term is always the hardest for Eva. Where as most children look forward to the Halloween Disco, to the rehearsals for the school nativity, the Christmas parties and the grand performance for the parents, for Eva it’s unbearably hard and that little smile hides a whole host of fears.
I can’t tell you how sad it made me to sit there at the Halloween disco and have her cling to my leg the entire time, to see Megan up dancing with her friends, a big smile on her face, looking over at her big sister who lacked the confidence to let go of me for just one moment and join in the fun.
I can’t tell you how heart breaking it was to have her sob night after night, afraid to go to school as she didn’t want to join in the singing for the nativity, to sit in the hall day after day and feel nothing but panic and fear.
I can’t even begin to tell you how much it hurt to sit there, in a crowd of proud parents, and see my beautiful little girl up on the stage, rigid with panic, those big blue eyes never leaving mine, looking at me with an expression that simply said, “Help me.”
As hard as this last term has been for Eva, it’s been hard for me too.
My biggest hope is that we can get through the next two weeks in school and enjoy two wonderful weeks together over Christmas. And my plan is that over the comingweeks we will reassure Eva of all the lovely things that school will bring in the New Year in the hope that we can help her to regain her confidence and find her feet.
So far, with Eva and Megan’s input, we have managed to come up with eight lovely things to look forward to –
1. A new school uniform! It’s always lovely to start a new term with a brand new uniform and we are all kitted out from Marks & Spencers which, as always, will have the girls looking super smart!
2. Eva’s birthday! With Eva turning 6 in February we are already planning her party and making a list of all of her little school friends to invite. Birthdays are always a lovely treat to look forward to.
2. Welcoming Spring! The girls favourite thing about school is most definitely playtime and with Spring to look forward to there will be more opportunities to get outside and play together.
3. The grand unveiling of the extension to the school. The girls school has been having extensive building work over the last few months and Eva can’t wait to see the new classrooms and multi purpose pitch that are being built.
5. Sports Day! Despite Eva’s lack of confidence, I was the proudest Mum on the planet last year when she ran in the running race. Eva loves sports and I really hope that she can join in again this year and show Megan the ropes for the very first time!
6, Class trips. Last year Eva went on a school trip to Blackpool Zoo and she is already excited to find out where next years trip will be.
7. Harry’s class visits. Towards the end of term Harry will begin his taster days at school ready for him to join the girls in September. I just know that Eva and Megan are going to love mothering him in the playground!
8. Breaking up for the Summer! If all else fails and we have another year like this one, there are just seven months to go until we break up for the six weeks holidays.
I’m feeling really positive about about the coming year, for me, for my family, for Eva and school. I think 2018 might just be the year that Eva finally finds her feet and realises just how much fun school can be……and just how wonderful she is!!
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