After Joseph died, in the weeks that followed, when I scoured the internet for as much information as possible about stillbirth, searching for the answers on how to survive such a loss, seeking out help and support from those who had been through the same, the scariest thing I remember reading was this: 80% of…
From being a very young child, the question “why?” has never been far from my lips. As a small child being told not to do something by my parents, I would want to know, why not? Growing up in school, I would be the first to raise my hand in class, bursting with questions for my…
Last month on Joseph’s 13th birthday I braced myself for the tsunami of grief to wash over me, still wiping me out despite all of these years treading water, still taking my breath away with how much it hurts to wake on my child’s birthday without him. And whilst many were so supportive sending messages…
Joseph, I’ve been putting off writing this letter to you this year, struggling to find the words to commemorate what would have been your 13th birthday, finding it impossible to imagine that tiny baby I held in my arms as a teenage boy, feeling as though my heart might break at the reality of all…
I cried in the supermarket yesterday, looking at Mothers Day cards and pastel bouquets, reading the words ‘Mummy’ printed across coffee mugs and chocolate boxes. I stood there, blinking back angry tears and a lump in my throat, as it hit me that another Mother’s Day has come around without my child. Years ago, before…
Last week, during a mundane supermarket shop, I bumped into an old friend from college who I haven’t seen in a while, who told me she had discovered my blog and was so happy to hear I was doing well. “Your children are so beautiful!” she told me, “I’m glad you’re happy!”. And I nodded…