Dear pregnant stranger

Dear Pregnant Stranger,

I spotted you this morning, sitting there rubbing your bump, a small smile escaping your lips as you caught my eye. “Only two weeks to go!” you told me, pointing towards your belly, “A little boy this time, one of each!”. And as I smiled and nodded, following your gaze over to your daughter, I felt a strange feeling wash over me, a lump in my throat that hurt to swallow, an emotion which, even after all these years, still surprised me.

I was jealous. 

I guess that must sound strange to you, knowing as we talked that I had three more children at home. I guess it sounds strange to me too, even after all this time. And whilst you’d be forgiven for assuming that my jealousy was for want of another baby, it really wasn’t about that. Because seeing you there, cradling your belly, I was jealous of just how happy you looked, eating the frosting from your daughters cupcake without a care in the world, of your utter certainty that in two weeks time you would hold your little one in your arms.

And I wanted that.

As you chatted away, sharing your story as only two women sat alone at soft play can do, with every word you spoke, and every beam in your smile, I felt my jealousy grow.

I was jealous of your excitement when you saw those two lines on a test, how you rang your husband at work and screamed at him down the phone. I was jealous that you got to enjoy every moment of those first twelve weeks when pregnancies are still a secret, instead of daily injections, worrying bleeds, early scans and constant fear.

I was jealous that you had planned the nursery, agonised over colour schemes and nursery furniture; chosen the pram, the car seat, an entire list of baby must haves. I was jealous that you never once considered waiting until the baby was here safely, that you remained blissfully unaware of how utterly painful it would be to return home to all of those things with empty arms.

I was jealous of your baby shower, a chance for all of your family and friends to spoil the little one before he arrived. I was jealous of the photos you showed me as you scrolled through your phone, you beaming at the camera with an alcohol free Prosecco, wearing a sash around your shoulders which read “Mummy to be”, never for one moment worrying that you might just be tempting fate.

I was jealous of the way that your hands shot to your tummy as we spoke, the way in which you smiled and told me, “This one’s going to be a footballer for sure!”. I was jealous of your confidence that with every kick, another would always follow.

I was jealous of your plans for a natural labour, to make that mad dash to the hospital, giddy with excitement, desperate to meet your son, not induced prematurely, fraught with worry, terrified of how it would end.

I was jealous that your pregnancy was so wonderful and exciting, filled with such promise and new beginnings, and mine were simply filled with fear.

I was jealous that in just weeks from now, you will have all of your babies here in your arms, and I will not. 

And if I’m honest, I guess it’s been the same for the past eleven years since losing Joseph, that nagging feeling of jealousy. Not just of pregnant ladies who cradle their bumps and pick out romper suits in the supermarket, but of Mums who push their healthy babies in their buggies, hoist little ones up onto their hips, hold a little hand in theirs.

Of Mums whose eyes do not betray their sadness, whose lives have never been touched by loss. 

It’s a tough one is jealousy, an emotion which we are taught from a young age to be undesirable, something which even now has me berating myself for allowing those thoughts to creep into my head. Whilst I am over joyed to hear that someone is pregnant, and could not be happier to hear that their baby has arrived safe and well, I guess I will always feel cheated of the same. I will always wonder what it would have been like to simply enjoy a pregnancy, to enjoy all of those wonderful moments, with unwavering belief that the baby I dreamt of was mine to keep.

And as you put on your coat to leave, and I wished you good luck for the impending birth, you looked at me with such kindness and said, “It was so lovely talking to you! I’m so jealous of you having four, we really struggled to have this little one.” And for the first time I saw it, a shadow of doubt falling across your face, that unrecognisable flicker in your eyes which had been all so familiar to me – fear.

And swallowing a lump in my throat I told you, “You’ll be absolutely fine.”

And so will I. 

xxx

Dear Pregnant Stranger | Seeing a pregnant woman can be really hard for a woman who has had a miscarriage or lost a child. Feelings of jealousy can arise, but not always for the baby. This post is from a mom who has suffered multiple miscarriages and the death of her son and envys the way another mum is able to enjoy her pregnancy www.fivelittledoves.com

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207 Comments

  1. January 26, 2018 / 2:43 pm

    This is so beautiful and honest Laura. I am 4 months pregnant and am always so wary of speaking to other women as you never know what their story is. You don’t know if they have miscarried or are desperately TTC so I always feel conscious of what I say. But you are totally right. I think every woman has fear. I had a healthy first pregnancy, no issues falling with our second and so far no problems but I still worry that something will go wrong an dour luck will run out xxx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 11:02 pm

      Thank you. Congratulations to you too! That’s how I felt with my youngest, I felt we had tempted fate too many times and our luck would run out again. I still can’t believe he is mine to keep. xx

      • Blair villanueva
        January 31, 2018 / 11:31 pm

        Motherhood is beautiful, and if am lucky enough, i want to be one. But am not so much in a hurry, time will come.

  2. January 26, 2018 / 3:01 pm

    Such a beautifully written post, as always! I think it’s hard to tell what anyone has been through by looking at them, even if we do make judgements from afar (we’re all guilty of it). I’ve been through things I’ve not discussed with many people at all and that doesn’t always show through my outward appearance. Pregnancy is such an emotional topic for many reasons. x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 11:01 pm

      Thank you. Yes you’re right, pregnancy is so personal and can make us feel all kinds of emotions, some of which are very hard to deal with or even understand. xx

  3. January 26, 2018 / 3:30 pm

    Beautifully honest written post that brought a tear to my eyes. It’s so hard not to be jealous at times but I always try not to judge a book by it’s cover, as they say, as some times you just never know what people have been through or are currently going through x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 11:01 pm

      Thank you, I totally agree. xx

  4. January 26, 2018 / 4:08 pm

    Aw this is so well written and it really struck a chord with me. To be honest I feel jealousy to other women because they fell pregnant so easily. But sometimes they didn’t and they struggled like myself. I guess I feel the same jealousy but in a different way to you and your sad loss. We truly never know what other people have been through. Even when we chat to them they still may not reveal their sadness and pain.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:59 pm

      Thank you Suzy. I can relate to that, we went through infertility during my first marriage and it was incredibly hard when everyone seemed to get pregnant so easily. I think we all have an element of jealousy in us. Much love. xx

  5. January 26, 2018 / 4:20 pm

    Such a beautiful post, but you have nothing to be ashamed of feeling jealous x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:58 pm

      Thank you Rhian. xx

  6. January 26, 2018 / 4:45 pm

    This is really honest for you to share! I’m pregnant at the moment and for a long time I waited my turn feeling jealous of others too, there is nothing to be feeling guilty about it!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:58 pm

      Thank you Amalia. And congratulations on your pregnancy! xx

  7. January 26, 2018 / 4:47 pm

    A beautiful an honest post. I was so blaze when I was pregnant with the Bear. I had no doubt that life would be perfect. Eight years later with the Lion I was terrified. I think there is fear in all of us, even if we don’t always show it x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:57 pm

      Yes I agree, I also think the older we get and the more we learn about the risks, the scarier it gets for us all? xx

  8. January 26, 2018 / 5:20 pm

    So sorry to hear that you lost a baby. I’ve never thankfully experienced this but we have had two scares this time round which has made me quite anxious. I suppose none of us know the stories of others and what they’ve been through. I like to think that I am respectful of others 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:56 pm

      Thank you Lisa. We have lost 16 so I think it’s understandable why I would feel this way, but it’s still hard to deal with sometimes. xx

  9. January 26, 2018 / 5:46 pm

    I love the honesty of this so much. I can kind of understand how you must feel, though I miscarried a baby I always tried to stay positive with my little boy and my current pregnancy. But it is so hard. There’s always a little bit of doubt.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:55 pm

      Im sorry to hear that. Losing a baby does take away something from your pregnancy. Whilst a lot of women are able to relax once they pass the point of the last miscarriage, with Joseph being full term I never got to that point, that was always hard. xx

  10. Momstaxi
    January 26, 2018 / 5:48 pm

    My pregnancies were fraught with fear, after miscarrying my first baby. Every toilet trip was in fear. Every scan was an assault course of emotions. Midwife visits passed in a blur of just waiting to hear that heartbeat. Friends of ours lost their baby shortly before her birth at the same time as I miscarried. Heartbreaking. Fear compounded. This happened to women but no one seemed to speak about it! Nothing was relaxed. Baby showers weren’t really a ‘thing’ a decade or so ago. I couldn’t have had one even if they were. I have three children now. They got here somehow. I’m painfully aware that that is a miracle. I love this post. So honest. Sometimes I think I’m over the sadness but I’m not really. It still remains one of the saddest moments of my life. I’m sad too, for everyone who understands this post and who for whatever reason, was unable to enjoy the excitement and promise of their pregnancy/ies.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:55 pm

      Thank you Michelle. I think losing your first baby is incredibly cruel, it ruins every subsequent pregnancy from then on doesn’t it? We lost our first at 13 weeks and 15 more babies from there, with Joseph at full term. There was never a point I could relax, not even with constant monitoring and scans and reassurance, and even when they were here I felt so scared they might be taken from me. Much love to you. xxx

  11. January 26, 2018 / 7:14 pm

    Heartbreaking honest, it bought a tear to my eye. I am pregnant with baby number two, and having had three miscarriages previously, my first twelve weeks were terrifying. Even worse I have HG so was paranoid that dehydration and sickness would hurt the little one growing inside me. Before I got pregnant, my best friend’s girlfriend got pregnant and I cried for about an hour before he came over and I had to put on the brave face and congratulate him. He was getting everything I wanted and my body had failed me three times before and we’d had not even a peep of hope since then until now. I’m still very nervous and paranoid , but it’s made me wary of how , in person anyway, talking about bump can affect someone.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:51 pm

      I’m so sorry for what you went through, that must have been so hard. It’s very hard to see others go through pregnancy when it’s what you want most in the world, I still struggle with it for so many reasons. Sending you lots of love throughout your pregnancy. xx

  12. January 26, 2018 / 7:20 pm

    Laura this made me cry. It is so beautifully written and so honest. I can relate to so much of what you have written here. I remember those feelings of jealousy during my own pregnancy with Jessica – that envy of mums who did not carry the fear that I carried, the fear that I would not bring my baby home, that feeling of taking nothing for granted. It’s a fear that never goes away in subsequent pregnancies and it’s one that makes you thankful for what you do have even though there is that jealousy of what can never be yours. Thank you for sharing such an honest post and sending a big hug your way x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:50 pm

      Ahh Louise, I can only imagine what you went through. Whilst you have Jessica here with you, carrying her knowing that something was wrong must have been terrifying. In a way I am glad that I had no idea Joseph would be taken from us, Im not sure how I would have got through each day had I known there was even a chance he wouldn’t have made it into our arms. Much love to you. xx

  13. January 26, 2018 / 7:45 pm

    This is such a heartfelt and beautiful post. I am not a mother yet, but I can understand your feelings x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:48 pm

      Thank you Melanie. xx

  14. January 26, 2018 / 7:55 pm

    This is such an honest post, I can only hope it helps someone who is feeling the same and needs to know they aren’t alone, that others understand.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:48 pm

      Thank you Sarah, it’s always comforting to hear that others can relate. xx

  15. January 26, 2018 / 8:13 pm

    Such a moving post. Although we’ve been fortunate enough to have three healthy children, it took us a few years to fall pregnant with our first and I remember feeling jealous of expectant mums back then.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:48 pm

      Thank you Clare. I know friends who have been through infertility, as have I, and they feel that jealousy every single day. I think it’s natural isn’t it? xx

  16. January 26, 2018 / 8:34 pm

    As someone who doesn’t have children, can I just say I love your style of blogging? It’s very raw and emotional, yet rather inspirational. Thank you for making me believe that someday, if I ever become a mother, I will be just as loving as much as I loved reading your words.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:47 pm

      Ahh thank you so much, that’s so kind of you to say. xx

  17. January 26, 2018 / 9:12 pm

    Such a wonderful post, it made me teary eyed. I lost my first baby in the early stage of the pregnancy, since that I’m a different person. I always think about “what if”…Since that happened I gave birth to a wonderful little boy (complications at birth but luckily nothing serious at the end), I became a super overprotective mother, and at the moment I’m 24 weeks pregnant and worried every minute for the little ones health.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:46 pm

      Ahh Anna I’m sorry to hear that. Losing a baby does change you, I will never be the person I was before each of my losses, but nor would I want to be. Much love to you during your pregnancy. xxx

  18. January 26, 2018 / 9:47 pm

    A beautifully written post. I have not long had my 2nd baby but having gone through this pregnancy at the same time as my SIL who previously lost a baby and has struggled immensely through her pregnancy, I have huge empathy. Pregnancy is a scary time. Sending love to you! #Sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:45 pm

      Ahh Siobhan that must have been hard for the both of you. Thank you for reading. xx

  19. January 26, 2018 / 10:01 pm

    I’m in tears reading this beautiful post, especially the end. I’m not trying to compare with the awful loss you experienced but I just want to say that I understand those feelings of jealously, for two reasons.

    After my son was born I experienced very severe Postnatal Depression & Anxiety and was unable to feel any happiness or peace for many months. When I see new mums now, so clearly in love with their babies and enjoying life, it still feels like a little stab to the chest, even nearly 5 years on.

    Secondly, since we’ve been trying to have a second child for two years and have experienced a miscarriage and then nothing for 18 months, I too feel envious of anyone who is pregnant.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful words, sending love x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:45 pm

      Ahh laura Im so sorry to hear that. I can relate to the PND, I too struggled with each of mine and I feel cheated of all of those lovely moments that everyone else seems to have. Sending you lots of love and baby dust. xxx

  20. January 26, 2018 / 10:19 pm

    Beautiful as always lovely. Jealously is a strange emotion at times and can take hold of us. It’s how we handle that jealously that matters, as it’s perfectly normal and ok to feel it. I know that you would have been your normal friendly, cheerful self chatting to that lady. And whilst you were feeling like that inside, you made a mum feel good and that is wonderful x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:43 pm

      Thank you, you’re so lovely to me. You’re right though, and when she asked how many children I had I told her four, even though it killed me, because I didn’t want to worry her in the last few weeks of her pregnancy. xx

      • January 30, 2018 / 11:32 am

        And that is why you are so beautiful! Always thinking of others before you. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove xx

        • Laura Dove
          Author
          January 30, 2018 / 7:09 pm

          Ahh back at you my lovely xxx

  21. January 26, 2018 / 11:17 pm

    This was a tough read but beautifully and honestly written. You sound like you are a lovely woman and mother 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:43 pm

      Thank you Rachel. Much appreciated. xx

  22. January 27, 2018 / 12:02 am

    This is such a beautifully written post, as always. So heartbreaking to read – I just cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. Your thoughts and feelings are completely natural and justified considering the pain you have been through and the loss of your beautiful boy, Joseph. Sending lots of love and hugs x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:42 pm

      Thank you Emma. That made me smile though, he was very beautiful. Thank you. xxx

  23. Laurence
    January 27, 2018 / 12:13 am

    Wow, this is wonderful post. I was kinda emotional reading the post. It breaks my heart that Joseph is not here.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:42 pm

      Thank you Laurence. Mine too. xx

  24. Evonne
    January 27, 2018 / 6:10 am

    I think that the honesty here is comforting for people to read. I had my baby at 26 weeks weighing 1lb 2oz. At 25 weeks I found out that baby was not getting everything he needed from the placenta and would be delivered early but at 26 weeks I developed severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. After 5 months in hospital my little boy came home and I know how extremely lucky we are as some babies didn’t make it through their journey at hospital.
    I know I have never told anyone but my partner that I feel those pangs of jealousy of towards newly expectant parents, those who have a lovely bump as I never even got to that stage, those who the nagging doubt of will everything be ok has ever entered their heads, those who are excited to see thier little one that have a name for them from their 20 week scan and atart to map thier life out together without any thought for what could happen.
    We haven’t decided yet whether to have any more children but i am jealous of the fact that I will never have that wonderful carefree untethered excitement, glowing expectant carefree parent feeling which I so desired.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:41 pm

      Ahh Evonne, that must have been terrifying for you, thank god your son is doing fine. I think we will always feel jealous for the pregnancies we never had, or even the birth we never had, or the baby days we had hoped for. I know my pregnancies were just terrifying and PND took away from so much enjoyment in the months that followed, I think many of us have something we feel regret about. Much love to you. xx

  25. Georgina
    January 27, 2018 / 10:11 am

    Such a beautiful post! When I thought we were struggling with fertility I HATED pregnant women with a passion. How dare they got pregnant when that’s all I wanted. When people got pregnant with their second I was worse. They already HAD a baby and I had none!

    Then I got pregnant with my second without even trying and came under the fire I’d put many others. A friend who was struggling to conceive her second decided to distance herself from me. I was hurt but I understood!

    There’s so many emotions attached to the whole process.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:38 pm

      Oh gosh yes!! That was just like me! I used to rant to my husband, they already have one child, it was my turn next!! After losing all of those babies, and Joseph too, I felt incredibly guilty to go on and have three more children. I felt that others would look at me and feel exactly the same way that I had. It’s so hard. xx

  26. January 27, 2018 / 10:49 am

    I can relate. I lost my innocence after my miscarriage. That fear kind of remained when I carried my twins. So didn’t really enjoy it.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:37 pm

      Its heartbreaking isn’t it? We lost our first at 13 weeks and I never enjoyed another pregnancy again. So hard. xx

  27. January 27, 2018 / 11:12 am

    This is such a beautiful but heartbreaking post to read. Fertility problems run in my family with my Mum going through menopause only 4 years older than I am now. I worry constantly about not being able to have children of my own so I too experience the slight jealously you were feeling when I see pregnant people, but that is soon overtaken by excitement that maybe soon it’ll be my turn.

    Ami xxx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:37 pm

      Thank you Ami. I agree, a lot of those feeling so jealousy affect those who not only have lost children, but have struggled to have children full stop. I have been through both infertility and baby loss and can see how the grief is very similar. I hope that it will soon be your turn. xx

  28. January 27, 2018 / 2:26 pm

    I can kind of understand how you feel. Been struggling to have a baby after years has got me thinking how could we used to take such beautiful and natural thing for granted. I’ve learnt to not feel too sad for myself whenever I heard a pregnancy news from somebody I know. Live my life the way I can. Someday my prince and princess will come, when the time is right!

    By the way, you have such beautiful kids, Laura! I envy you!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:36 pm

      Thank you so much, I’m sorry that you are struggling and yet I am sure that one day it will happen for you. After losing 16 babies I was convinced I would never go on to have even one more baby, and now there are four. Miracles do happen, don’t give up. xxx

  29. January 27, 2018 / 2:31 pm

    This is so honest and beautifully written. Everything you are feeling is completely natural and understandable. Sending you love xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:35 pm

      Thank you Mellissa. xx

  30. January 27, 2018 / 3:27 pm

    We’ve all got our own stories, our own fears and apprehensions. I’m at the stage now where I am very much finished having children (my husband’s just had a vasectomy!) and I am so relieved about that. It’s funny the different stages we go through (I’ve got three children, been pregnant four times).

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:35 pm

      I agree, and none of us can possibly know what another person has been through. xx

  31. January 27, 2018 / 5:14 pm

    Powerful.

    I’m sorry to hear of your loss, but you have written a beautiful piece that helps to convey the importance and value of this moment and the gift that will soon follow. I read 11 years and it still lives with you today. If nothing else, thank you for sharing.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:34 pm

      Thank you Damond. Joseph would have been 12 this coming July and at the time I had hoped it would hurt less by this point. Turns out that pain never stops, and it’s just something I have to learn to live with. Sharing really does help though. Thanks. xx

  32. January 27, 2018 / 5:34 pm

    Great story and I can imagine the feeling. I love reading it. I’m not yet having child but soon enough I will.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:33 pm

      Thank you. xxx

  33. January 27, 2018 / 8:47 pm

    I think we all have our invisible emotional scars, and it’s good to be honest with ourselves and take a look at them, but to remember that others are carrying their own as well. I have my little miracle son and I’m very happy with where I am, but after 10 years of trying, I still sometimes feel that punch in the gut when I see pregnant women or mums with babies, even though I have my own now!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:32 pm

      Yes I totally get that. I have four healthy children in my arms but that doesn’t take away from the fact there should have been five, or indeed that there were fifteen more who never made it. It’s hard to battle with those feelings. xx

  34. January 27, 2018 / 10:39 pm

    This is such a touching post. I think it’s amazing how strangers can trigger strong emotions and realisations. I haven’t had children but I’m sure that jealousy and fear will come when I start trying.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:31 pm

      Than you Cristina. I guess none of us know what anyone else is thinking unless we share those thoughts. xx

  35. January 28, 2018 / 12:18 am

    This is such a real post and very brave of you to post. It’s beaurifully written and I admire your honesty. I’m sure there’s lots of people reading this who can relate. Hugs xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:29 pm

      Thank you Chelsea. xxx

  36. January 28, 2018 / 12:59 am

    Such an honest post and we’re sorry that you felt this way. Everyone has their own story to tell and outward appearances may not be what they seem. I’m sure this will resonate with a lot of mothers out there. Big hugs and try not to beat yourself up for feeling this way, everyone feels jealousy.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:29 pm

      Thank you. It’s reassuring to hear that so many can relate to this but sad at the same time. xx

  37. January 28, 2018 / 1:28 am

    That’s such an emotional read Laura, knowing the fear and pain of losing the one you have carried for months in your womb can be the biggest emotion a mum can carry! You have narrated true emotions here.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:29 pm

      Thank you so much. I appreciate you reading.xxx

  38. January 28, 2018 / 1:47 pm

    I think it is natural of us to feel envious of others without really knowing their circumstances. Having a worry free pregnancy is a blessing and sadly its not something everyone can have.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:27 pm

      I agree. I feel sad that the only pregnancy I actually enjoyed was my first which ended at 13 weeks. Those 13 weeks were lovely at the time. xx

  39. January 28, 2018 / 2:38 pm

    So heartbreaking and beautiful to read. I think your feelings are so natural given what you have been through, nothing at all to be ashamed of x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:26 pm

      Thank you Jemma, much appreciated. xx

  40. January 28, 2018 / 3:44 pm

    This is very touching; the thought of pregnancy is such good news since children are a blessing. But its true, very many women share different tales about pregnancy and it would be alright to feel jealous, or happy!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:25 pm

      Thank you. I guess we should all understand that however we feel is perfectly normal, and there is nothing to feel guilty about should we feel negatively at any point. xx

  41. January 28, 2018 / 3:47 pm

    I could have written this, only I have one at home. It should have been two…

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:24 pm

      Im sorry to hear that Akamatra, it’s so hard isn’t it? xx

  42. January 28, 2018 / 4:48 pm

    A truly beautiful post. I feel this all the time. And it is so hard because I then feel terribly guilty. I would love another baby but I feel life has taken that choice away from me. And i’m jealous of those people who’ve found the whole baby making process so easy. But I guess no one really has had it easy. Hugs Lucy xxxx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:24 pm

      Thank you Lucy. I cont think anyone can ever describe how terrifying pregnancy after loss is. I found it very hard when others said I should relax after 12 weeks, knowing Joseph had been taken just days from his due date. Once you have that fear, and that genuine belief that something will go wrong, it’s impossible to be positive, no matter how much reassurance you are given! xx

  43. January 28, 2018 / 5:28 pm

    Another beautifully written post. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:22 pm

      Thank you Emily. xxx

  44. January 28, 2018 / 7:15 pm

    Awesome! My sister just recently had a baby and absolutely loves post like these. This is exactly the kind of stuff she freaks out about. Sending to her now to see what she thinks.

  45. January 28, 2018 / 8:39 pm

    This really pulls at my heart strings! I am not a mom yet, but I can’t imagine the pain of losing a baby! Thank you so much for sharing <3

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:21 pm

      Thank you so much for reading. xx

  46. January 28, 2018 / 9:15 pm

    Such a beautiful post Laura. I remember after my miscarriages I was really jealous of pregnant ladies, and everyone seemed to be pregnant. At the time I didn’t consider what they may have gone through to get to the point of having a baby, jealousy is a strange thing #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 28, 2018 / 10:21 pm

      Thank you Jo. Yes I think that’s something I have really learned to be more mindful of. And I guess even those who had their children without ever knowing struggle or loss, that doesn’t mean they aren’t dealing with their own sadness in another area of their life. xx

  47. Daydreams of a mum
    January 29, 2018 / 12:46 am

    Stunning post. Had a little sob to this , cos jealousy is horrible isn’t it ? As you say discouraged but so natural to feel.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 5:03 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. Yes, it’s a tough emotion to feel but perfectly natural absolutely. xx

  48. January 29, 2018 / 12:58 am

    I love your writing … about parenting, about life, about whatever you want to write. Even more, I love the essential human-ness you bring to whatever you’re writing about. As someone who’s read (nearly) every post on Five Little Doves, just keep at it. You create a connection that makes me warm and happy and sure there are other friends out there that make me glad to be in this world. xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 5:03 pm

      Ahh Ali, your comment made me cry. That means so much coming from you, more so given I have huge admiration for your blog!! Thank you so much. xxx

  49. January 29, 2018 / 1:08 am

    It is such an emotional post, I had tears in my eyes when I was reading it. You are a brave woman Laura and I admire your courage!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:53 pm

      Thank you so much, I appreciate you reading. xx

  50. January 29, 2018 / 2:40 am

    what a lovely piece and we all get jealous! it is normal and sometimes, it is even helpful 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:53 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  51. January 29, 2018 / 3:27 am

    That is so hard I cannot even imagine it. Whether you have had one or four, loss is loss. And it hurts to know you have this empty hole there where something is missing. I am sorry for having to deal with that. But I also think you have such an amazing perspective. And the fact that you could see the moment of doubt creep in the other person’s eyes, you recognized that and could be supportive of that person in a way no one else can. I am sure you were appreciated a lot at that moment.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:52 pm

      Thank you David, I really appreciate that. I think you’re right, whether I had four or forty more children, Joseph would always be missing. xx

  52. January 29, 2018 / 3:53 am

    Your post is very heartfelt and honest. I totally understand where your jealousy came from. We are only human and we experience human emotions.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:51 pm

      Thank you Sela, you’re so right. xx

  53. January 29, 2018 / 5:27 am

    Love love this so much. Great article, I could not stop reading. Thanks for your honesty and sharing your experience.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:51 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. You’re very kind. xx

  54. January 29, 2018 / 6:02 am

    so beautifully written and filled with emotion. You are such a strong woman and I admire your strength. Thank you for sharing your emotions with us and being vulnerable for your readers. Your writing is so beautiful and truly touched me. Thanks for sharing xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:51 pm

      Thank you Cassie, I really appreciate that. xx

  55. January 29, 2018 / 7:45 am

    I am so sorry for your lost, I think that it is highly important that you do speak about it as I’m sure that there are many more women in your situation that feels alone and needed that voice to speak up for them as well, with all my love and heart

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:50 pm

      Thank you Inbar. It’s always important for me to share these feelings, it’s not something I like to admit at times but that jealousy never really goes away. xx

  56. January 29, 2018 / 11:49 am

    What a touching post and so beautifully written. We never know of the struggles behind the smiles and the pleasantries xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:50 pm

      Thank you, I totally agree. xx

  57. January 29, 2018 / 1:24 pm

    I admire your openness about such topic. I have 3 kids and reading this post touched my heart.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:50 pm

      Thank you so much for reading. xx

  58. January 29, 2018 / 1:47 pm

    A beautifully written, honest post. Thanks for sharing. I remember feeling jealous when we were struggling to conceive, and everyone around me seemed to be pregnant. We didn’t even tell anyone other than immediate family – and of course people who saw me personally and saw my bump – for fear that something might go wrong and I didn’t want to jinx it. Does that sound silly?

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:49 pm

      Not at all Jenni. We didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant with Harry other than our immediate family and closest friends. We just announced it when he was born as I had been too terrified to tempt fate and have something go wrong, more so with him being another boy after Joseph. I think sometimes we just have to do whatever it takes to stay sane, and stay positive. xx

  59. January 29, 2018 / 1:58 pm

    Oh Laura, this made me well up. This is incredibly well-written and rings true with so many of us who have suffered loss in one way or another. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with the fear if I’m ever lucky enough to conceive again and I don’t think I will ever get over our loss. Bless you lovely, this will help so many X

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:48 pm

      Thank you Lucy. I’m so sorry that you can relate, it always makes me sad that so many women can, but it’s good to know that those feelings are normal. Much love. xx

  60. Elena
    January 29, 2018 / 3:00 pm

    I have so many mixed feelings after reading this. A month ago I found out that I can not get pregnant naturally, so I am probably still confused about what I want and what I am going to do. So, at this point in my life I don`t feel jealous, I do not feel at all…

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:48 pm

      Ahh Elena I am sorry to hear that, it’s a lot to take in. We went through infertility during my first marriage and it’s so hard to get your head around. Lots of love to you. xxx

  61. January 29, 2018 / 3:06 pm

    This is so honest but suddenly I feel very emotional. Beautiful post.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 29, 2018 / 4:47 pm

      Ahh thank you so much xx

  62. Dannii
    January 29, 2018 / 5:29 pm

    What a beautifully written and honest post. I can’t inagine how hard it must be for you and it just shows that you never know how someone is feeling inside.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:33 am

      Thank you Dannii, I think we all hide our emotions far too well don’t we? xx

  63. January 29, 2018 / 6:31 pm

    Oh bless you, I knew as soon as I read the title of your post that I would be in for an incredible read and I was right. Jealousy is a hard emotion to deal with and when we see others having what we presume to be is a ‘perfect life’ it can be difficult not to ‘want what they have’. I know I have never been pregnant myself , but for me there are times when I feel jealous hearing about people’s mums and dads. When I ran my blog event on Saturday it went really well and I was so glad that all the bloggers had a good time. As we cleared the room and made everything tidy, my other co-founder was surrounded by her brother, mum and dad and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy, because I didn’t have my parents there to support me. My parents were never at my graduation, it has been a long time since we have celebrated birthdays together and it is unlikely that if I get married they would ever turn up to see me. But I have accepted that this is the way that things are and like you said, when you see that emotion in someone elses eyes, it makes them seem more human and can alleviate the jealousy that we are feeling. Anyway, you really inspired me to write a post that I have been thinking of writing for a while, so thank you x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:32 am

      Ahh thank you Ana. I am so sad that you don’t have your parents in your life as you had hoped, that must be so hard to deal with and, as someone who is so close with my parents, I can’t even imagine how much it hurts. Jealousy is definitely a normal reaction, however difficult it is to feel and even admit to, and I think we all have it in us in different ways. The number of people who have messaged me or commented to say that they feel it too is so comforting, I think that’s always going to be my favourite thing about blogging, that you really are never alone with anything. Write your blog post, get it all out, and know that you too will be surrounded by love and support. xxx

  64. January 29, 2018 / 7:12 pm

    This is a beautiful post, warmed my heart and brought some tears to my eyes. You are so honest, brave and courageous to have written this post. I too feel the same jealousy as you but in a different way. I have not lost a child but I have not been lucky enough to become pregnant. For the last couple years, I have become more and more emotional and jealous when I see a pregnant mommy-to-be or mommies with pushing their babies in the strollers. I know everything happens for a reason and when the time is right it will happen. Bless you and your heart for inspiring others and making them feel like they are not alone with this kind of feeling.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:30 am

      Thank you Kristyn, I am so sorry that you are still waiting for your little one. Everyone always asks me why I kept going, after 15 miscarriages and losing Joseph, they question why I never gave up? The truth is I knew that when it finally happened it would be worth all of that sadness and heartache, and it was. It will happen for you too, lots of love. xx

  65. January 29, 2018 / 7:43 pm

    I love the way you wrote this article– so intriguing and engaging. The way you summed up the human emotions, curiosity and the inner feelings of angst– is just incredible.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:28 am

      Thank you so much. xx

  66. January 29, 2018 / 8:58 pm

    The post just made me moist in my eyes, & I am being true from the heart. Just made me message my mom at wee hour post reading this , and express my love & thanks to her. While the void with the loss of someone can never be filled, but only the moments priceless be cherished is all I can put. I am sharing this to the love of life,your post is just pure & hearty!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:28 am

      Thank you so much Dev, that’s so kind of you to say. Life is so precious, I think experiencing loss is a real reminder of that. xx

  67. January 29, 2018 / 10:10 pm

    What a beautiful post and beautiful written, I love to read this so honest and emotional

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:27 am

      Thank you Angela. xxx

  68. January 29, 2018 / 10:41 pm

    This is heartbreakingly beautiful, I literally had tears in my eyes. You are so brave to write about your experiences and I’m sure this post will inspire many more women to open up about their losses.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:22 am

      Thank you Jasmin, I really hope so. xx

  69. January 30, 2018 / 12:32 am

    What a gorgeous post!!!

    So touching! 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:22 am

      Thank you Marty. xx

  70. January 30, 2018 / 8:57 am

    Wow what a beautiful post, so emotive and poignant, and I am so very sorry for your loss. But I love the strength you have too #triumphanttales

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:19 am

      Thank you Nicola, much appreciated. xxx

  71. January 30, 2018 / 9:08 am

    I can not begin to imagine what it was like to give birth and not take your beautiful son home with you, that pain just will never be forgotten or healed. I remember when at 12 weeks we lost our third little one and I went home to our house that I had brought with the picket fence and a cubby house in the yard that I had imagined my healthy baby would one day play in. Although now I have 3 healthy children I will always be jealous of people whose babies come so easily, and I will always miss my little ones that I never held. #dreamteam

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 10:19 am

      Thank you lovely, I still feel so much sadness, and to be honest so much anger and jealousy, that we didn’t get to keep our gorgeous boy. I feel jealous that we never got to live the life we had planned, and I feel guilty for feeling all of those things because I also know how incredibly lucky we are to have four perfect children in our arms. It’s hard isn’t it? Much love to you. xxx

  72. January 30, 2018 / 5:05 pm

    Such a beautiful post, even though it made me tear up a bit. I am so sorry for you loss, this was such a courageous post to share. Very touching.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 7:08 pm

      Thank you Sarah, I appreciate you reading. xxx

  73. January 30, 2018 / 6:53 pm

    I can’t read this without welling up Laura 🙁 your posts are always so beautifully written and so heartfelt, and I can’t even begin to imagine what you had to go through xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      January 30, 2018 / 7:07 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Becca. I really do appreciate you reading. xxx

  74. January 30, 2018 / 8:08 pm

    Wow, so honest an touching!
    I am so glad for you and your girls, but let us be real for a moment: it’s the Universe making yo strong in order to be the best mom ever! <3 I'm sending you the biggest hug possible!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 9:44 pm

      Ahh thank you so much xxx

  75. January 30, 2018 / 8:11 pm

    I have just sat and read this in tears Laura, today especially. I understand, I feel it too and I hate that I do. I would give anything to let my sadness go and for you to have that too. xx #SharingTheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 9:44 pm

      Thank you, I hate that anyone feels this way, but its a comfort to know that we all have each other. xxx

  76. January 30, 2018 / 9:08 pm

    I read this with such sadness, it is a very raw and honest piece. Your courage shines through.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 9:43 pm

      Thank you xx

  77. Kristin
    January 30, 2018 / 11:07 pm

    Thank you for sharing that. So many times people want to reach out and talk about loss but the moment passes and they just can’t find the words. Wishing you peace.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 5:20 pm

      Thank you Kristin. xx

  78. January 31, 2018 / 6:19 am

    I can never experience the joy of carrying a baby. I do enjoy seeing my wife glowing as she carries our second child. Having children is a privilege and I’m grateful every day for my 2 year old son and my soon to be born second son.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:37 pm

      Ahh congratulations Steven, you must be very proud. xx

  79. January 31, 2018 / 6:51 am

    WOW, your honesty is just beautiful and heart breaking. I sincerely wish you all the best in the world <3

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:37 pm

      Thank you Lauren. xx

  80. January 31, 2018 / 2:57 pm

    It sounds like it was a poignant and special conversation for you both. I think it can be easy to assume someones life is perfect, and to forget that things happen behind closed doors sometimes. Some people are so good at keeping emotions and fears under wraps. It sounds like you really reassured and helped this lady, I’m sure she’ll remember your kindness.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:36 pm

      Thank you Rachel, it’s funny the moments we can share with strangers isn’t it? xx

  81. January 31, 2018 / 6:37 pm

    I have never been pregnant so can only imagine the depth and extent of your loss. Every time I read this article my eyes fill with tears and I feel the need to hug you. Instead I say a silent prayer for you and Joseph that you may be reunited in paradise.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:35 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Razena. xx

  82. January 31, 2018 / 9:32 pm

    Oh wow. Such a strong and beautiful post. Big hugs lovely. Well written – as always. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:32 pm

      Thank you lovely xx

  83. February 1, 2018 / 12:29 am

    HUGGGGGGG! This post touched my heart. I don’t have any kids yet but I teach a lot of toddlers. I can see how stressed yet happy their parents are. It’s my first time to read about your perspective. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:31 pm

      Thank you Karla, I really appreciate that. xx

  84. February 1, 2018 / 2:03 pm

    What a beautiful post, so honest and heartfelt. I’m so sorry for your loss.
    Thanks so much for linking up to #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:30 pm

      Thank you Laura. xxx

  85. February 1, 2018 / 2:17 pm

    Love your honesty Laura and i’ve followed your posts and blog for a while now. i was so anxious through my pregnancy (and for no real reason other than i was just anxious). i just felt like nothing could be taken for granted. everyone kept telling me to get a grip and stop worrying and enjoy it – but until i had my boy there, in my arms, i didnt relax at all.

    thanks for joining #KCACOLS – come back again soon 🙂 xx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:30 pm

      Ahh thank you Emma. I think pregnancy is such an anxious time, especially for those who are that way inclined. I know that in my twenties I didn’t worry anywhere near as much as I do now, perhaps I was blissfully unaware of the risks back then. Thank you for reading. xxx

  86. February 1, 2018 / 3:24 pm

    We never know what other people are going through, nor what their story might be. I often feel those pangs of envy, yet I am also aware of just how lucky I am. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:29 pm

      I agree Rachel, I have had so many comments of how lucky I am to pop out babies one after another.I guess to most people that appears to be the case. xx

  87. February 1, 2018 / 4:23 pm

    This is so beautiful, bought a little lump to my throat. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 4:25 pm

      Ahh thank you Kerry, I appreciate you reading. xxx

  88. Lucy anthony
    February 1, 2018 / 5:19 pm

    This is such a beautiful post, I wanted to comment but realise now I have no words. What a beautiful thing to share.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 1, 2018 / 9:45 pm

      Thank you Lucy, sometimes there are no words and that’s okay xxx

  89. February 1, 2018 / 7:53 pm

    I can never understand the level of grief you must feel but I can understand how a death can change you – leaving you with odd feelings. #kcacols

  90. February 1, 2018 / 8:10 pm

    Oh Laura, you have done it again! Brought me to tears even though I have never been in your situation and lost a child. My partner and I never take gestation, labour and birth for granted for nothing is given and complications can arise at any time. That is why it took 26 weeks for me to reveal on the blog about my 1st pregnancy with Eco didn’t purchase any clothes, baby essentials and crib etc (apart from the hospital bag stuff) until he was safely home with us and that is what we will do with baby no 2 due in June this year please god. Once again I am deeply sorry for your loss. x #KCACOLS

  91. February 1, 2018 / 8:27 pm

    Such a brave, heartbreaking and honest post. x #sharingthebloglove

  92. February 2, 2018 / 7:05 pm

    This is such a beautifully written post Laura, so honest, and so heartbreaking, but so relateable. It’s so true that we never know what someone else has gone through, and I wish it wasn’t the case that so many women have experienced a loss of some kind, but the reality is that most people have. It’s so hard not to feel jealousy though – I remember the stab of it on a few occasions and it took me by surprise, as I’m not normally a jealous person.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 3, 2018 / 10:40 pm

      Ahh thank you Katy. Yes I think that’s always the hardest thing, I was never a jealous person by nature and when you’re suddenly hit by those emotions, it’s really quite difficult to process! I wish that none of us had to feel this way, I guess it’s a comfort to know that we are not alone. xx

  93. February 2, 2018 / 9:51 pm

    This is a beautiful post Laura – I have never experienced baby loss and I can’t possible imagine how it makes you feel, but I do know that your writing must help the hundreds and thousands of other women who have lost babies too. #ShareTheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 3, 2018 / 10:39 pm

      Thank you Sarah, I really do hope so and I appreciate that. xxx

  94. Margaret
    February 2, 2018 / 11:52 pm

    Thank you for this beautiful article. Whenever I see a pregnant lady I’m jealous of how beautiful they are. How amazing the baby bump is and how perfect they look but I am jealous and I hate that feeling. I beat myself over being jealous about other pregnant moms. Especially the ones that are close to my due dates or if I know them. How come they get to have their babies while mine is in an urn at home and in a necklace around my neck. How come this and how come that and it’s NOT FAIR. I feel like a horrible person because I’m jealous of them. I’m also “happy” that I am the one who have to loose the baby and not them because I am strong and can handle the sadness and heartbreak that comes with loosing him.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 3, 2018 / 10:38 pm

      Oh Margaret I’m so sorry for your loss, I know too well all of those feelings and believe me when I say, they are totally natural. I think jealousy is such a difficult emotion for us to process, it can lead to guilt and beating ourselves up, when actually it’s understandable and nobody would ever judge a mother for feeling jealous of what she doesn’t have. Much love to you. xxx

  95. February 3, 2018 / 7:16 am

    I got to the end of this post with tears rolling down my cheeks. Your words are so powerful and so beautiful. I guess it’s natural to feel jealous of what we perceive as other people’s perfect happy lives, but the reality is that there’s no such thing as perfect and we can never really know what other people are going through, the fears and pain hidden behind the smile. Except in these little moments of vulnerability, the rare times when people open up and share their true, worst, most painful feelings with honesty. And those moments bring us closer together. The power of your writing is to show us this. I also think that to go through that heartbreak 16 times and survive with your heart and soul intact makes you an incredibly strong and amazing woman, Laura. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 3, 2018 / 10:36 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Ruth for such lovely kind words. You are right, I think even those with the most straight forward pregnancies have their fears, I think in some ways that’s only human. None of us know what someone has been through, or is still going through, that’s why being kind and having compassion is so important in this world. Thank you again for visiting. xx

  96. February 3, 2018 / 10:39 am

    Beautiful post – i have never experienced baby loss but my nephew passed about when he was 4 years old and i know how easy it is to look at others and wish you had what they had.
    #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 3, 2018 / 10:35 pm

      Oh gosh I am so sorry to hear that Michelle, how heartbreaking for you and your family. Much love. xxx

  97. rachael b
    February 4, 2018 / 3:23 am

    This is so raw and beautiful. So much truth behind this all too!

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 4, 2018 / 2:13 pm

      Thank you Rachael. xx

  98. February 4, 2018 / 7:38 pm

    I’ll never know your feeling but that jealousy is all too familiar to me. Infertility, early loss and miscarriage all rob us of what should be exciting times. We only bought the very basics for fear we’d need to return stuff.

  99. February 5, 2018 / 7:55 am

    This is such a truly stunning piece of writing. I think it is easy to forget that each and ever person is fighting their own internal battles, especially when we are only just scratching the service of a person.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 5, 2018 / 1:40 pm

      Thank you, and absolutely, I think way more people feel that way than we realise. xx

  100. February 5, 2018 / 1:45 pm

    I have not hidden the fact that this pregnancy has been very hard and I’m struggling on a daily basis with pain. I also joke that i’m screwed expecting twins, but in all honesty, i’m petrified something is going to go wrong.
    I think its natural for all expectant mothers to worry and their smiles mask uncertainties and fears. i’m quite sad that this will be my last pregnancy and one that I havent enjoyed! #sharingthebloglove

  101. February 5, 2018 / 4:03 pm

    I guess it just goes to show that we never know what people are carrying around with them, the hidden thoughts and feelings. We all have our own stories to tell. Love the honesty in this post-Laura. Thanks for sharing at #TriumphantTales, hope to see you again tomorrow.

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 5, 2018 / 4:58 pm

      Thank you Jaki, I think that’s something which I have learned through the years. Everyone has their own battles, some we just choose not to share. xx

  102. February 5, 2018 / 8:14 pm

    Oh hun this is such an honest and open post, I have tears in my eyes after reading it. Stay strong. Claire x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 6, 2018 / 9:34 am

      Ahh thank you so much Claire. xxx

  103. February 6, 2018 / 2:38 pm

    Another beautifully honest post written in such a way that only you can darling,. These posts are what define you! xxx

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 11, 2018 / 10:09 pm

      Ahh thank you Tanya, these are the posts I will always find the easiest to write and the hardest to share! xx

  104. February 6, 2018 / 5:57 pm

    Such a beautiful post lovely . I always think this when striking conversation with a stranger , you really never know what story they have loved do you x

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 11, 2018 / 10:06 pm

      Ahh thank you Kira. I totally agree. xx

  105. February 6, 2018 / 8:41 pm

    Beautifully written and so honest and true of so many women feeling that way too. Lots of other people will read this and will be glad their not the only ones feeling the same way

    • Laura Dove
      Author
      February 11, 2018 / 9:54 pm

      Thank you so much Stephanie. xx

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