Independent Womens Day: For those whom I love and admire
Almost thirteen years ago, I inadvertently found myself a member of a club that no Mother wants to be a part of. I found myself in the company of women, just like me, dealing with the loss of a baby. And what started off as a group of complete strangers has, over the course of the last decade, given us the opportunity to get to know each other, to support and advise each other, to listen, encourage, and forge friendships which I know will last the distance.
We are all so very different, there are no two of us the same, different ages, different circumstances, geographically poles apart, and yet all with one thing in common: we are Mothers, missing our children, simply looking for a way to survive.
There have been times over the years, when I have credited these women with saving my life. In those early days, when I couldn’t imagine living with the pain for even a moment longer, these girls took hold of my hand and walked beside me. During those long, dark nights when my arms physically ached for a baby to hold, they were there, with open arms, guiding me through. When I felt like giving up, when my whole world was falling apart around me, they offered me words of encouragement, of love and support, and reminded me how far I had come.
And the thing that resonates so loudly is that not only were these women dealing with their own loss, and their own pain, but they added my burden to their load and carried it with strength and determination. When one of us faltered we helped each other back up and, slowly but surely, made baby steps in the right direction.
Over the years life has dealt some devastating blows to myself and these women – the loss of more children, the breakdown of relationships, infertility, the loss of parents, gruelling battles with cancer and truly life changing moments. At the same time we have seen eachother through proposals and marriage, through pregnancies and babies, and we have watched each other grow from strength to strength with nothing but love and admiration.
Together we have shared something that no Mother should ever have to experience, bound together by the invisible strings of sorrow. We have shared every thought in our heads, said out loud the unspoken; we have never judged, never questioned, never forgotten those darkest moments which led us to each other. When we remember our babies we no longer think of just the child we lost, but of all of the babies whom we lost together. It has been a small comfort over the years, in such an expanse of pain, to think that our children may have each other in just the same way that we do.
And together we did something which at one time we deemed the impossible.
We have survived.
Because, although we may never be the women we once were, or live the life we so hoped to live, together we can survive just about anything. And today, on Independent Women’s Day, these women, and any Mother who lives a life without her child, they are my superheroes.
What a beautiful post, which made me shed a tear or two. Beautifully written, I’m so sorry you all had to go through that but so glad you all found each other. #bigpinklink
Thank you. Honestly, these women are stronger than anyone I have ever known. I’m honoured to have them. Xxx
Beautifully written post. I’m very glad you found these lovely women to help you through a very tough time xx #bigpinklink
Thank you, I really have been very lucky to have such strong, supportive ladies in my life. Xx
What an amazing quote that last one is, It’s so true that the power of women and the power of friendship is a wonderful one. A really good group of friends can get you through anything. Thanks so much for linking up two great posts with us. #bigpinklink
Thank you, it’s one of my favourite quotes of all time. It just says it all doesn’t it? Thanks for hosting. Xx
An amazing and powerful post. I was trying to think of something to write for International Women’s Day, but I just couldn’t get the post right in my head to say what I wanted to say. This completely nails it, I think. #twinklytuesday
Thank you so much, that’s really lovely of you to say. Xx
How beautiful. Women are amazing, particularly those who have faced loss and come back stronger. It’s wonderful that you have each other. #TheBabyFormula
Thank you. Women ARE amazing, high five!! ✋
Love this! Happy women’s day:) We ladies are something else 🙂
And to you too!!! Xx
Thank youfor sharing this. There are very few people who have not felt this over welming feeling of loss , who have wondered how they are going to get through the next hour , day , year. And as women we are normally the ones that have TO BE BRAVE and carry on , and support every one else. I am so happy that you all had each other to cling to and get the support you all needed.
Absolutely. And as mums especially it’s just what we do isn’t it? Put on a brave face and try to carry on as normal. Thank you for reading. Xx
A beautiful post, thank you so much for sharing
#bestandworst
Thank you for reading! xx
It’s an awful thing you all had to go through but I am glad you all found each other and helped each other through the bad times. I love your quote about strong women being the ones where things didn’t work out and they coped, I think it is spot on. #bestandworst
Debbie
Thanks Debbie. It says it all doesn’t it? Such a good quote and I really have been lucky to have some amazing women to carry me through. Xx
Such a true quote xx #bestandworst
Thank you, it’s my favourite. Xx
Oh wow I feel really inspired after reading this – really lovely post! #mmwbh
Thank you so much! Xx
There is no blogger who can break my heart the way you do. And that’s a compliment. If I ever meet you, I’m giving the hugest hug and not letting go for a while. Lovely Laura. How you ‘bashed this out’ as you said on my FB page despite being ill, I do not know. Every word of pain is a gem. #TwinklyTuesday & #BestAndWorst
Aww thank you so much but I am so sorry that I made you cry. You are so lovely. ???
Gorgeous post and well said! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x
Thank you so much. xx
Fran Dresher said, “Nobody gets through life unscathed.” Beautiful post, best wishes.
That is so true, thank you for sharing that! xx
So inspiring, bless you for sharing your story. #FabFridayPost
Thank you! xx
A superb post and tribute to the strength and power of members of the club no one wants to join.
#FabFridayPost
Great post. Loved it. You survived and are amazing.
Thank you so much. xx
It is so nice to hear of a support network for moms who have experienced loss. It seems so taboo to discuss, and I have heard so many times that you can never truly understand the pain and sorrow involved until you (unfortunately) experience it yourself. A support network is the perfect way for all moms involved begin the healing process, and its nice you all stayed in touch throughout life’s dealings. You and your group are such strong mama’s. The quote at the end is one of my favourites!
#PoCoLo
Tori
http://www.themamanurse.com
Thank you, I honestly don’t think I would have survived it without them. It’s one of my favourite quotes too, just says it all! Thanks for reading! xx
What an amazing post and so beautifully written. Thanks for much for linking up with #MadMidWeek blog hop! x
Thank you. xx
What can I say? But wow! You are amazing and I am in awe of this beautifully written post and your amazing spirit, I am so glad our paths have crossed xx #mg
Thank you so much. I am so glad that they did, you have massively inspired me with your wise words each week. Thank you for hosting. xx
Wow, you are a warrior. I can’t even imagine. What a great way to support Women’s Day, your story is inspirational. Thank you so much for linking up with #stayclassy.
Thank you so much. xx
The most important thing of all is the friends that we surround ourself with, the ones that will stand by us and support us through anything. Lovely post and thanks for sharing with the #bestandworst
That is so true! Thanks for reading. xx
Beautifully written and totally inspiring post Thanks for linking to the #binkylinky
Thanks Nige. Xx
Wonderful post thank you for sharing friends are so important Thanks for linking to the #binkylinky
What a lovely and inspiring post. #fabfridaypost
What a beautifully written post, with fabulous quotes – so true. Friend’s make all the difference and the best friend’s really pull us through everything, every sleepless night and every down day. Thanks for sharing on #TheBabyFormula
Thank you, I often say I couldn’t survive without my friends but really, I genuinely could not have. They are amazing, I have been very lucky to find them amongst so much sadness. xx
So powerful and full of truth. I love the quotes you chose. Beautiful. And thank goodness for support groups of all kinds for those of us who need them when our strength resides just a bit. I love being a woman and I hope that if anything I teach my daughters to love being them too. Thanks so much for your wonderful support and linking up with #momsterslink. :))
That’s the main thing isn’t it? Women sticking together and supporting eachother in life. I love being a woman too, I love my girlfriends and the way in which we are always there for eachother no matter what. Makes me very proud and I hope that my daughters grow the same way. Thanks for hosting. xxx
Such a lovely tribute to all the women who have shared the difficult times with you. Thank for this powerful and inspiring post. And I love the quote as it is so so true. Happy Women’s Day. Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost
Happy Womens Day to you too, and as always, for hosting. xxx
Ahhh this is such a lovely tribute to women around you so beautifully written. I love reading your post they are full of inspiration and strength. Thanks for linking up to #ShareWithMe.
Thank you so much. They are amazing women, I have really been blessed with such an amazing support network, even if it was in such sad circumstances. Thanks for hosting, will see you again this week! ?
A beautiful post and what lovely things you have said about other women too. I’m so glad you had the support you needed and it’s great that you’re there for those women too.
Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo
Thank you. They are amazing women, as a team we can survive anything. Thanks for hosting, see you again this week. Xx
A beautiful post with a really fantastic quote. So very very true.
Thank you xx
This is beautiful Laura and totally agree it is a club we wouldn’t really chose to be part of but we are and we survived xxx
Thank you Fran, I’m so sorry you’re a member of it too. xx
This is such a beautiful post Laura and a great tribute to those ladies who have been there for you. Such a great message to shout about on this day, hopefully more women will be there for each other through reading your post x
Thank you Cath. I really hope so, I think it’s so important to remember that we are all struggling with our own battles, being there for someone can make such a difference. xx
Happy Women’s day, Its so great to read that people can come together like you and the group did. We really should all be there for each other as women and this post proves that its important.
Thank you. I hate that we all went through what we did but I’m so glad we had eachother. xx
Beautifully written as always. I have a friend who helped me more than she will ever know when I had a miscarriage. She had been through it previously and was a complete emotional rock when it felt like no one else understood. x
Thank you. I’m so glad that you had a friend to support you in that way, it’s invaluable. xx
I just love this post. I am sorry about your loss but I am glad you found people to help you through it. Women should always band together. I hate when women argue over petty things because I know we’re so much better than that.
Yes!! It’s so important to just be kind isn’t it? xx
A brilliant and heartfelt piece of writing. When women support each other, there’s no support like it. Wonderful inspiring post for International Womens Day xx
Thank you Maria, their support was invaluable, it got me through the toughest time of my life. xx
What an inspiring post. Wonderful things can happen when we all stand together, and I’m so glad you had a support network when you most needed it.
Thank you Elizabeth, we were very fortunate to find each other xx
A lovely post, and wow, what a group of people to be part of. So supportive and understanding
Thank you Sonia, they are incredible. xx
Thank you sharing this wonderful and meaningful post, that represents us Women! <3
Thank you so much. xx
What a gorgeous reflection, and I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, it’s a growing number of women. We all need to support each other.
Thank you Tamara, you are so right. Being supportive is so important, you never know what someone is going through. xx
Thank you for sharing this post with us. When you have an amazing support system, you can get through almost anything.
I totally agree, there is nothing we can’t overcome together. xx
Such a brilliant and heartfelt post. I love the quotes, so inspirational.
Thank you Amy, that last one is my absolute favourite. xx
Laura I cried my way through this. I think you are such a strong, inspiring, incredible person and this is so beautifully written. I can’t imagine what all of you must have been through, but I think it’s so amazing that you have all found each other and you’re all there for each other. xxx
Ahh Chloe, thank you so much. I think its so important to look for the positives amongst so much sadness, and these ladies are the best thing to come out of a really devastating situation. Thank you for reading. xxx
such a beautiful and moving post. It certainly does change you, and life is different. But it is a new normal x
I totally agree, and that new kind of normal is something we have no other option but to accept. xx
You are the loveliest, and the bravest, and the strongest, and I’m sending you all my hugs. I can’t imagine how you’ve coped and carried on – but you’re amazing.
Ahh Sara-Jayne, thank you so much. I have been very lucky to have some amazing women around me through the years and now through blogging, I get to be surrounded by even more. xxx
It’s an amazing post, and so very true. Strong women have held me up for a long time now. Love to you – and strength x
Thank you Jenny, strong women are imperative to our lives. xx
I am so sorry for your loss. That is something no parent should ever have to go through. I’m grateful you have had these women to stand by you through your hard times. Everyone needs people like that in their lives!
Thank you so much, I have been very lucky to have such a wonderful support over the years. xx
Sometimes people meet under unfortunate circumstances. It’s never an easy one and I’m glad you overcame that. It’s so nice to be surrounded by people who shower you with love and support.
Thank you Alison. I like to think that we were all supposed to meet, and be life long friends, and our babies sent us to each other. xx
Thank you for writing this but I wish you’d never been in the circumstances that prompted you to do so. Thinking of you.
Thank you Chris, I appreciate that. xx
So sorry to hear of your loss. I’m really glad you’ve been able to find such strength and support. When women come together, we really do great things, right! ;o)
Kat x
Thank you. I totally agree, we can survive just about anything. xx
Beautifully written post, heartfelt x #KCACOLS
Thank you Frankie. xx
Such a powerful post! Its so empowering when we know that theres women in our lives who are so supportive!
Thank you. I totally agree, this is why we should always support each other as women. xx
Such a beautifully written post Laura, as always you manage to make me feel all the motions at once!
ahh thank you so much Deborah. xx
This was an amazing post. I went through something similar and am glad you found wonderful women to support you
Thank you Dee, I’m so sorry you could relate. xx
You all sound like superheroes and no mother should go through the sorrow you all faced. 🙁 what a lovely support network. Women can be so supportive x
Thank you. Yes they can, it’s so important isn’t it? xx
A beautiful post, Laura. It sounds like you have an amazing support network
Thank you Sarah, I was very lucky. xx
I love that last quote, I have not read it before but it really sums things up doesn’t it. When we work together we really can achieve incredible things!
It’s my favourite quote, it really does sum up how amazing we are. xx
Something wonderful happens when women come together like this. In the face of so much sadness and loss, we manage to bring each other hope and comfort and strength, and I think we can do anything with that sort of support behind us. x #KCACOLS
Absolutely, I would never have survived the hardest time of my life had it not been for those women who stood beside me. That kind of support is invaluable. xx
I love this post so much hun – think I’m going to be including this in my top posts of March round up! xox
Ahh thank you so much Talya, you’re so kind. xxx
International Women’s Day is so important to celebrate. We have so many strong women in our lives that we somtimes forget to tell them how thankful we are.
Yes I agree, we should be supporting each other as much as possible shouldnt we. xx
What a beautiful post, it’s so amazing when women find strength in one another. I’m so glad you found the support you needed at such a difficult time.
Thank you Lyndsay, I’m not sure what I would have done without them! xx
This truly is such a beautiful post. Recently I’ve stumbled across a couple of vloggers documenting their way through their child losses and conception struggles and my heart aches for each and every one and each night I squeeze my children a little tighter than usual. It is so cruel that these things happen to the greatest of people and so easy for others to take their pregnancies and babies for granted. Thankyou for sharing your story and helping others, it’s lovely that you were able to find other wonderful women to help you through 🙂 #KCACOLS
Thank you Amie. It’s devastating that it happens so frequently, it breaks my heart to hear of another Mum without her child. I was very lucky to have an amazing, supportive group of ladies around me, I just wish that we had met in better circumstances. xx
This is a touching post. I feel sorry for all the women go went through of all of these. So feel glad that each one got each other.
Thank you Nathan, we are lucky to have the support of each other. xx
Inspiring post and great to see that you have made the effort to write this, as it is such a sad subject. Stay strong and I hope that you have a very Happy International womens day x
Thank you Melanie, I appreciate you reading. xx
You know… as a straight white male I am so happy that things are starting to shift and focus on the appreciation of other genders, races, and creeds. I think women are amazing and articles like this only help to empower them more. Fantastic job 🙂
Thanks Roby, that’s so great to hear! xx
What a beautiful post. I’m so sorry you’ve all had to go through something we all never want to experience to find each other. It sounds like you have a wonderful support network. Beautifully written as always. ?
Such a beautiful post. I am so sorry that you have all been through this but so glad that you have found yourself surrounded by such an amazing group of ladies. Sending love to you all x
Thank you so much Lisa. xx
You are a beautiful woman who surrounds yourself with beautiful people. God bless you and best wishes!
Ahh thank you so much Angela. xx
What a beautifully written post. It is amazing what light can shine out of dark times. I’m so sorry you went through all that but happy that you found people to support you through it! x
Thank you so much Siobhan. xx
Very uplifting story you have im sorry for your loss. I love to being around women who inspired each other. Im trying to conceive for years now. Im keeping my faith high but sometimes i feel frustrated.
Ahh I’m sorry to hear that, I hope that you have the family you dream of soon enough. xx
A wonderful post. I read it in one breath and had fun from start to finish. Thank you for the mood you created for me!
Ahh thank you so much! xx
No pain can be greater than the loss of a child. I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this. I wish nobody gets to suffer in this manner. And I am so glad that all of the strong women together stood by each other in their toughest of times and came out even stronger.
Thank you Sayanti, there really is nothing harder but we survived it together. xx
Beautifully written post, happy international women’s Day to a very strong and amazing group of women
Thank you Stephanie. xx
I’m sorry for the reason you were brought together, but I’m glad you have each other. xox
Thank you Lorna. xx
That’s so great of you to have found such a great set of women together who have been able to lift you up and raising your spirits. I can’t even begin to understand how difficult what you have gone through is. And I’m so happy you have found each other.
Thank you David, it’s always lovely to be surrounded by people who just “get it”. xx
Sorry to hear about all you had to go through! But glad you are able to overcome it and uplift others, happy women’s day to you!
Thank you Kusum! xx
Happy International Women’s Day to younand to all women who go through this as well. At the end of the day, what matters most is the positive ending. Be strong and be good.
Thank you Lex, surrounding yourself with positive strong women is so important. xx
this was such an amazing post and so beautifully written! i am so glad you got all these amazing women around you to help and support you! It’s so great to feel support and have people to count on!
Thank you so much. xx
This was a lovely post. I went through 3 miscarriages before I had my two beautiful kids and I have meet so many amazing, strong women through sharing those stories. ?
Sorry to hear that Angela, I’m glad you had the support too. xx
It is wonderful to be surrounded by people who understands and helps us. Though the reason behind it is heartbreaking, I must say you are all lucky to have each other.
Thank you Hannah, you are so right. xx
Beautifully put Laura, as always. I’m not sure I can add anything else worth adding. #kcacols
Thank you Carol. xx
Slow hand clap to the last quote. I love it because it is real and sometimes I do feel like a superhero because of all the stuff I been through.
Thank you Kiwi, we ARE superheroes! xx
This is such a beautiful post. I’m sorry you all had to go through all you have but it’s lovely that you’ve all found each other x
Thank you Sharon, we really were very lucky to have each other. xx
What a truly inspiring post and I can only imagine how hard baby loss must be, a mothers nightmare but women are fantastic at supporting others and raising each other up even in the darkest of times
Laura x
Thank you Laura, I was very lucky to have these ladies, without them Im not sure I would have survived. xx
What a brilliant post and you are so very right, it is getting through the crap that life throws at us that makes us better and stronger. Love the quote at the end too
Thank you Kara, it’s an amazing quote isn’t it?! xx
I am so sorry for your loss but so glad that you found people who understand your pain and help support you. Empowered women empower women.
Thank you Chi, that is so true. xx
This is such a beautifully moving post! I’m so glad you found those women and you all helped each other through the toughest time in your lives. So sorry you had to go through such a tragedy.
Katie xoxo
Thank you Katie, we were very lucky to have each other. xx
awesome post! Sorry to hear about all you had to go through! But glad you are able to overcome it and uplift others.
Thank you so much. xx
Oh Laura this is such a lovely post. Beautifully written, I’m so sorry you all had to go through that but so glad you all found each other. Thank you so much for linking up with us for #kcacols and we hope to see you next time.
Thank you so much Kelly-Anne. xx
This is such a lovely and heartwarming post. This year has really shown me how strong us women can be as my Aunt was diagnosed with Breast cancer and beat it.. so I have to say this post did make me shed a tear. I’m so glad you were all able to support each other thru such a upsetting time for you all. xx
Ah Sarah I’m so glad that your Aunt beat it, it’s so important to have strong, supportive women in our lives.
This is so wonderfu lto read ! To each and every one of us women – happy international womens day!
Thank you Deb. xx
It is so awesome that you found such an amazing support system. Women supporting other women is one of the best things in this world.
I completely agree Tonya, we should do it far more often! xx
It is so amazing that there are women who are always willing to help and support us in any way. Lucky that you are surrounded by those people.
Thank you Ruth, they are amazing ladies! xx
Inspired by this. Women are bigger and better than the world thinks. Thanks for the share.
Thank you for reading Lex. xx
This is wonderful. It is important to remember the strong a brave women who helped shape us today 🙂
It is so great to be surrounded by a tribe of supportive friends. Women are awesome.