Oh I do like to be beside the seaside….(Part one)
Some of you may remember the disaster of our holiday last year, the ten days spent in West Sussex where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. For those who haven’t read about that holiday you can find my post about it here and here, and I think after reading that, you will understand why we were so apprehensive about having another Summer holiday this year. But it’s funny how with time memories can fade, how as the months pass you can forget just how utterly awful something was and start to think that actually, a Summer holiday would be something to look forward to, the perfect occasion to rectify all of last years wrong, and that actually, it couldn’t be any worse……could it??
And so, some may call us brave, some may call us stupid, we took the plunge. We booked ten days down in “sunny Devon” and the militant style pre-holiday preparation was under way. Intent on not making the same mistakes as last year, we sourced roof bars for the car, borrowed a roof box from a friend and gave the car a good once over, checked the MOT, changed the oil, topped up the tyre pressure, silently congratulated ourselves on being such responsible car owners and reassured ourselves that unlike last year, there would be no car trouble to thwart our plans!
This year we told ourselves that we would go minimalistic with the packing, reminding ourselves that the children wouldn’t need twenty seven pairs of socks each day, nor the five hundred and twenty t-shirts it seemed we had taken the previous year. So with the roof box on, the To Do lists written, car bribes snacks purchased, we were good to go. And so I have no idea how, with just hours before our expected departure, the cases remained empty, the house still looked like a bomb had hit it and the children were so hyped up that not one of them was ready for bed!
By morning, after a late night and an early start, we began the annual task of loading the many, many cases into the car. Only this year we were feeling smug, loading our cases into the roof box and marvelling at how much room there was in the car, how we could miraculously see out of the back window, relishing in the fact that Lewis wouldn’t be moaning every two seconds about being cramped up with the pram hitting his head every time we turned a corner. Only by the time we filled the roof box we realised that actually, there was still a mountain of “stuff” that still needed wedging in, infact more luggage than any year previously, and as Gaz wrestled with the boot and muttered under his breath about where the hell all this stuff had come from, I suspected that his idea of minimalist and mine were two very different things!!
But we were ready for off, buoyed up with the thought of the Devon sunshine, lazy days on the beach, relaxing by the pool, doing nothing but building sandcastles, eating ice creams and soaking up the sun. And even when the roof box wouldn’t lock and the key jammed in the lock, even when after emptying it completely and jiggling it around in desperation it still wouldn’t work, when, after thirty minutes had passed, we had to call my Dad to come over, armed with his WD40 and his genius like mind for all things mechanical, even that didn’t lower our mood. And forty minutes later when we finally got it locked and on the road, we were in great spirits. This was going to be the best holiday EVER!
And although, a few miles in, we had to turn around and go back home for the long list of things we had forgotten, by the time we finally got on the motorway and found ourselves cruising along to the soothing tones of James Bay, it all felt too good to be true. When the children began to converse only in song, I bit my tongue and reminded myself that they were simply excited to be going on holiday. When Harry began to wrestle his arms out of his seat belt and lunge forward with brutish force, I told myself that he was just a baby, most likely wanting a hug. When Lewis started to ask how far until the nearest service station as he was needing a wee….already, I swallowed back the urge to tell him that he should have gone before we set off, that a two year old could go longer than he had, that we had lost time to make up for and no way could we stop already, and instead I told him not long now, just a few minutes up the road. And when the Satnav broke, right out of nowhere, and we were driving blind, I simply got on to Google maps, swiftly navigated our route and told myself there is nothing in this world we couldn’t do. Because nothing, absolutely nothing, was going to dampen our happy holidays.
After hours on the road, sitting through numerous traffic jams, refereeing countless arguments and saying things like, “Eva stop saying you will poo on Megans head!” and, “Megan stop calling your sister a wee wee stinky bum!”, as we approached Bristol Gaz suddenly let out a long sigh and declared, “We’re losing power!!”. And given our breakdown last year and the car horrors that unfolded, I had laughed out loud, told him, “Nice try!” and lowered my head back to my Sudoku puzzle. “Seriously!” he told me as he swerved the car over to the hard shoulder, “Somethings wrong!”. And as we came to a halt on the hard shoulder, traffic whizzing past us at top speed, he tried to turn the engine over and yet there was merely a short splutter and then nothing, just the worrying sound of silence. “Oh god”……
Experiencing a severe case of deja vu, I rang Green Flag, explained our situation and, although we remembered the drill quite clearly, was told to vacate the car, wait on the hard shoulder and somebody would be with us within 90 minutes. And so out we all got, huddled together against an overgrowth of nettles, the rain, of course, lashing down on us as we stood there, praying for a miracle. By chance, Gaz spotted an opening in some trees ahead and we found that if we could jump across a stinky, algae infested ditch, there was a tiny patch of earth for us to sit on, to keep safe and dry until the break down guy came along and saved us. And sitting there, wet, cold and miserable, I thought back to last year, to that roadside spider bite and the subsequent dramas that followed, and instantly began slapping, scratching and screeching at every tickling sensation on my legs, every crawling sensation down the back of my neck, and every rustle in the bushes. “Keep your arms and legs on the blanket!” I told the kids, fighting back the urge to cry, and asking myself why, oh why did we forget to bring the multipack of Wotsits
Two hours later, when ‘Joe’ popped his head through the trees, we were cold, tired and hungry. He informed us that we had to wait a little longer for his colleague to catch up in his truck so he could load on our car, take me and the kids in one truck and Gaz and Lewis in the other. And standing there, teetering dangerously on the road side bank, he regaled us with tale after tale of injuries sustained on the hard shoulder. His twelve broken ribs, various knocks to the head from wing mirrors, the side of lorries, the many, many occasions when he had stared death in the face and lived to tell the tale, unlike some of his colleagues who had not been so lucky. The kids sat there, mouths wide open, gaping in horror at the gruesome tales they were hearing, and by the time the other guy finally turned up, I was more than ready to get in the truck!
Although, me being me, simply getting in the truck would have been way too easy. Instead, as Gaz took the children safely across, I was left to fend for myself, to manoeuvre my way across the ditch, down the grass verge and onto the hard shoulder, like my very own Krypton Factor. And just as I made the leap across the ditch, with the traffic speeding by and Joes words still ringing in my ears, I tripped over my flip flop, went flying through the air, with one foot dunking back into the ditch water and the other sending me down the grass verge, prickly shrubs implanting into the palms of my hands, and a thick, stinky trail of mud down the back of my trousers. And as I scrambled up, my heart beating out of my chest, I was faced with Lewis, absolutely hysterical with laughter, clearly relishing in my near death experience, and pointing at me from the back of the truck.
So into the truck we got, me, sitting on an old newspaper at the request of Joe to protect the seat from my soggy bottom, and the youngest three behind me, completely bewildered in their car seats, and Joe launches into another tale. Over the course of the next hour he told us about the time that he almost died when a lorry reversed over him while changing a tyre, the time he broke both arms and legs when he fell out of a tree, the time that, whilst driving along on his motorbike at 150mph, he crashed into the car in front, flew from the first lane north bound to the second lane south bound, smashed straight through some ones windscreen, at an estimated speed of 200mph, broke twenty seven bones in his body and remained in a coma for the best part of a year. He tells me how the lady in the car whose windscreen he smashed through visited him every day for 11 months, that when he woke up they started dating and fell in love and how they recently split up due to her fear of driving and his need to buy a new motorbike. And as he’s telling me all this I start to think that it all sounds a little familiar, that I can vaguely remember a film I saw of something very similar, and I start to question how anyone could survive that level of impact, if it’s possible to fly that far through the air, whether there are even 27 breakable bones in the human body? And at that moment my phone beeped and I received a text message from Gaz, ‘Just speaking with the truck driver, he said nobody has ever been injured on the job in the whole time he has worked for the company! Odd!!’. And it hit me, as I felt the growing sense of panic building in my stomach, Joe the truck driver is a pathological liar!!!!
By the time we arrived at the depot in Bristol, more than a little relieved to see the back of Jackanory, we were told that our car needed to stay in the garage, that we could borrow a hire car to continue our journey south, and yet first we would obviously need to transfer all of our luggage over. All of our luggage, and that from the roof box, which all of a sudden meant that we were dealing with mission impossible. So while it lashed down with rain, while the kids screamed and cried at being shoved into a strange car, we attempted to push, pull and cram every bit of luggage into the boot. It soon became evident that it wasn’t going to fit as we stood there, rain streaming down our faces, bulging carrier bags spilling around our feet, arguing over what we could ditch, “Don’t throw away my Crunchy nuts!!” Lewis screeched from the back. And yet somehow, with the foot wells piled high and knees up to our chin, we finally managed it, and we were ready for off…..again!
By the time we arrived in Exmouth it was dark, cold and raining, and we had no idea where to go. Both our phone batteries had died, drained from the twelve hours of GPS, we had no maps, there was nobody around to ask and we had no idea where our Premier Inn was. And for an hour and a half we drove around the same industrial estates, looked at the same concrete buildings, the same depots and warehouses and silently raged at each other that neither of us had thought to write down the directions. And then finally, in the distance, we spotted a crane, a steam roller, a taped off area and the familiar signs of “This hotel is under renovation” and we knew, like some kind of horrific Groundhog day, that this was our hotel, that West Sussex 2015 had come back to haunt us.
But little did we know that this was just the start………..
Oh dear sounds like a crazy start to your holiday I do hope it got better for u guys.
I feel your pain, having had a similar situation when we attempted to visit Cornwall at easter – hope the break was worth it in the end xx
It did improve a little, right before it got a whole lot worse!! Holidays are hard work aren’t they? xx
Wow! I hate car trouble. Happy to hear things improved. Sending you love from the #momsterslink
Oh my goodness, can’t wait to read the next! There is one right? Off to search …
Haven’t written it yet!! Will get it done over the weekend!! Xxx
Oh dear, not the greatest of starts for your holiday! The recovery driver sounds a little crazy too. I hope it got a bit better, though judging by your closing line it doesn’t sound that way! #picknmix
Hehe it did get better, right before it got a whole lot worse!! xx
Oh no! I love the cliffhanger ending though. Can’t wait to read the next instalment. The breakdown man sounds absolutely insane! #FabFridayPost
He really was!! And he seemed so normal at first! How odd!! Will be posting the next installment asap, there are some good parts to the holiday – honest! xx
Oh gosh you poor things!
I’m dreading what happened next haha!
Haha there was some good parts I promise! xx
Oh my! Sounds like you are having a time of it! The car trouble sound horrendous! Hopefully things will get better now xx we were just outside Exmouth in June
Exmouth is lovely isn’t it? Devon in general is a beautiful place, I was actually sad to leave although after everything the holiday threw at us, it was a relief to get home safely! xx
Oh no, I am so sorry to hear about what you went through. Looking at the bright side, it can only get better! 🙂
http://lilinhaangel.com/
Haha that’s what we thought…turns out…it can get a whole lot worse!! xx
Oh My Goodness! I am glued to your story! What happened next! I want to read it now! This is such a more than a nightmare. I don’t know how you kept your cool together. Wow! I would totally cried! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us on #FabFridayPost. I hope there is a happier ending to this beach trip story. I look forward to reading it soon. xx
I did feel like crying, especially when they came back to us and said the car would cost several thousand to fix! Agghh! I will post part two as soon as I’ve written it, still working my way through the mountain of washing! xxx
Oh No! I hope things are looking up since then. x
I shall link up part two on Friday, things did improve a little!! xx
Oh gosh poor you, I am really hoping you managed to have a good time after all this x
We did, although it wasn’t without disaster! Holidays are hard work aren’t they? xx
OMG! I have no words. I’m on the edge of my seat as to what happens next. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Madness right? We should have known! Thanks for hosting, will be back with part two next week! xx
Wow! What a story! It sounds almost as good as the Green Flag man’s tales ?
Haha nothing could come close to those tales, I can’t believe we actually fell for it! xx
Oh dear it sounds like you got off to a bad start, hope it improves. I plan to take a look at the next post to find out 😉
It did improve a little, and then disaster struck again! Will post part 2 just as soon as I find a moment to write it! xx
It is not a good way to start a holiday. Too bad for you guys. Car troubles are horrible. I hope everything went well later. Enjoy the rest of the holidays.
Car troubles are the worst, more so when a few days later they rang and told us it would cost several thousand pounds to fix! OUCH! xx
Ouch! That is really bad.
Wowzers! That’s how to start your holiday in style! Hope it’s gotten better since…and I have to admit I did laugh out loud when I read the bit about you falling in the stink water and looking up to see a laughing face…:) i can only get better from here right?! #KCACOLS
Haha I know right? So much for sympathy off my darling son!! No chance!! xx
Lol nope mine would all have laughed at me too ? x
Oh no! When I saw what happened on Instagram I really, really felt your pain! I can’t believe Jackanory! I would have freaked out, convinced that he was going to become a seriel killer! #FridayFrolics
Yes!! I was convinced he was going to make a “wrong turn”, Was good to see the back of him! Absolute nightmare! xxx
Oh no…poor you, this sounds like such a bad start to a holiday and we’re only on part one! The suspense is building and I almost don’t want to see what’s round the corner…Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday xx
All of our holidays tend to start off like this, it’s becoming somewhat of a tradition! Things did get better, right before they got a whole lot worse!! Will get part two typed up asap! xxx
Oh my goodness, I don’t know what to say. What a horrible start to your journey. Having someone telling you tall tales over and over is the last thing you need. I am afraid to ask what happened next… xxx
After travelling all that way, it really was the last thing I needed to hear! We can laugh about it now though at least! xx
Oh dear what a nightmare! Hope everything went well afterwards.. I’m now looking forward to read your next post. #KCACOLS
Thank you! xxx
Definitely sounded like the plot to an episode of Criminal Minds (without the multiple deaths of course!) What a nightmare! Looking forward to part 2! #KCACOLS
Haha doesn’t it? God knows why we always come across these people, we just attract weirdos!! xx
Oh god! What happened next?! Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky
I posted part two yesterday, what DIDN’T happen next is more like it?! xx
Sounds you have had a time of it hope it improves great post Thanks for linking to the #binkylinky please come back next week
Thanks Nige, will be with you on Friday! xx
OMG after your misadventures last year I thought this was a fictional account until I saw the photo of you all huddled on the blanket.
What terrible luck. Can’t wait for part 2. I really hope it got better.
#BinkyLinky
Haha, nope, two years running – what are the odds? I posted part two yesterday, it did get better….kind of!!! xx
Oh god this sounds Bloody horrific!! I’ve only had one holiday with mine so far and tang was only a three hour trip with no car break down and all out luggage! Hats off to you for keeping going….think I would have lost my marbles when both the phones went!!
#fortheloveofBLOG
After last year and the exact same thing happening, we were fully prepared! I just couldn’t that it would happen again though! What are the odds? I have just bought an in-car charger, why didn’t I think of that earlier?! xx
He truly does sound like a pathological liar, I would have called him out, you were right to trust your instincts. Poor you falling, I hope you are ok ? xxx
I’m fine, I actually fell again a few days later! I am so accident prone it’s untrue!! xx
Oh no, there is never a dull moment! I love that you have a roof box though, I think this is something we should definitely invest in.
#mg
Yes definitely worth it, we borrowed ours from a friend but we will be buying one of our own next year for sure! xx
Wow! When I was a kid I used to actually WANT to be towed after a breakdown because I wanted a ride in a big truck. Now I’d be horrified! I hope it gets better! #MarvMondays
Haha yes it always seemed like it would be so exciting didn’t it? Not so much now, especially not two years running!! xx
Oh dear what a start! We have been thinking off a roof box but it had never occurred to me what we would do in the case of a break down! #fartglitter
The roof box would have been amazing had we not broken down. Luckily we got it all in the courtesy car eventually, but it really was such a squeeze! We are now hunting for a new car, thinking a minibus would be more appropriate!! xx
Oh no poor you. I must admit my two would have turned into little monsters if all that happened. Don’t know how you coped! Love Jackanory! Can’t wait to read the next instalment x #BigPinkLink
Jackanory needs his own TV show, it was just so bizarre!! Posted the second part last night, things did improve eventually! xx
Oh nooooooooo!!!! Well this definitely doesnt sound like the best start, intrigued to hear the rest! #fartglitter
It wasn’t really the best start, or the best end, but the bit in the middle was alright – at times!! xx
Oh no Laura!!! This does not sound like a good start to the holiday. I think I would have been a nervous wreck. I really hope it does get better for you my lovely! Can’t wait to read the next part. #bigpinklink
Thank you! Just relieved that we got home safely!! xx
Deary me, you seem to have horrible luck. I think I’d have told Jo to close his mouth about his horror stories and my soggy bottom! Looking forward to the next installment. Hope things got better.
#fartglitter
I know! Fancy making me sit on a piece of newspaper when his truck was filthy already!! I posted the next installment last night if you fancy a read, thanks for hosting. xx
Eeeek, what a dramatic start to your holiday!! I do hope it gets better…..And that is so funny about Jo. I guess it’s true you meet all sorts of people in the most unusual places. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink
I’m sure we just attract the most bizarre characters!! Last year when the same thing happened, the Green Flag man was equally bonkers!! It did make for an interesting ride! xx
My goodness! Sounds horrible. Sorry you all had to deal with so many problems. I hope this story will end on a good note!! #twinklytuesday
I posted part two last night, things did improve in the end!! xx
Oh my gosh, I would have been completely frazzled by all that. I really hope the next instalment has a silver lining
I posted part two last night, there was definitely a happy ending, after a lot more disaster!! Holidays are hard work aren’t they?! xx
Oh my you certainly had a rough go of things. It reminds me of many difficult traveling tales of my own. Hope the rest of your vacation went better!#eatsleepblogRT
Things did improve a little, I just posted the part two last night, although we did have a few more “rocky” patches on top! Never a dull moment with these four! xx
Oh no! WHat a horror, and a repetitive one at that! I am so sorry, I will stay tuned in hopes it turns around and luck comes your way with fun, frolics, and ice cream for all! #bigpinklink #fridayfrolics #mg
#fabfridaypost #momsterlink
I posted part two last night if you would like to read about how the holiday ended. There was definitely a few more bad moments but also some really, really lovely ones as well. xx
Going over to read right now! Ty for the heads up! ?✨
BTW, your fam is beautiful!
Thank you so much! xx
Oh my goodness. You have all had more than your fair share of bad luck. The lying Greenflag guy would have been the final straw too! I hope you’ll soon be telling us things improved eventually. When can we expect the next installment?! #TwinklyTuesday
I posted the follow up yesterday evening so it should be on here now! The holiday was most definitely eventful but the children had the time of their lives! xx
I’ll take a look later then so I can be assured that you do reach a happy ending ☺️
Sounds like quite an ordeal…maybe next year you’ll have better luck. Or maybe you’ll just stay at home! Thanks for linking up #FabFridayPost
Haha I did say on the drive home that we won’t be going away next year but I know that we will. Infact we’ve said next year we will venture abroad, god help us then! xx
Oh.my.God. you poor poor Mama!! This sounds like the nightmare of all nightmares!! Also it does not make me want to pack up and go on our camping holiday in two weeks. at.all. eek! #fortheloveofBLOG
Haha I’m sure that your holiday will be wonderful. Just make sure that your car is in top condition and pack plenty of wine!! And vodka!! xx
I read this when you posted it and really did feel for you (I’ve read part two, so I know there’s a happy ending!) 🙂 There’s no such thing as a holiday with kids if you ask me – same sh*t, different shovel. I like to approach it with a false sense of excitement outwardly while all the while inwardly I’m counting down the hours until I can get home to normality (and my huge pile of holiday laundry). Things we do for our kids eh? 🙂 #fartglitter
Haha yes! There’s so much pressure to have fun isn’t there? We have to look as though we are having the time of our lives at all times, even when we really aren’t because we’ve spent all of our savings on the holiday and there will be no more for another year! It was a relief to get home and get unpacked and back to routine, ten days later and I’m still working my way through the laundry pile! xx
Oh dear god! I’m not sure I could have brought myself to get in a truck with Joe – I’d still be on that hard shoulder! I’ve got better at minimalist packing (& only have the two kids), but I like to be prepared & there is just so much stuff you need! Would hate to have to transfer it all to a strange car mid journey!
Thanks so much for joining us on #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next time!
If I’d have known I think I’d still be on the hard shoulder too! It’s so hard with UK holidays, you have to pack for every eventuality and in this country, that means sun, rain, wind and snow!! xx
Oh my word! That’s horrific. I’m now off to read part two on the hope of a happy ending for you! #TheBabyFormula
Eeek! Sounds like a nightmare and as someone who gets completely freaked out by insects and spiders I’m feeling jittery just reading this ha! Glad you got there eventually 😉 Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix
Stevie x
Yes that was the worst part, more so after Harrys bite last year and him ending up in hospital! Thank god the only rash I got was from the bloody chlorine in the swimming pool! Spent the holidays looking like a leper! xx
Oh my goodness, that sounds horrific! Good on you for continuing with the holiday – I think I might have just driven back home to start again the following day! #thebabyformula
Had I known it was going to get worse, I think I would have! xx
oh I love how you’ve written this like a comedy of errors when really it must have been hard o not cry or curl up in a ball! I can’t wait to read the next one!!!! Please tell me you had a fabulous holiday!!!! Thanks for linking up gorgeous lady xoxoxo #mg
I posted part two the other day, it did improve a little, although it wasn’t without disaster!!! xxx
Oh i don’t know whether to laugh or not! Sounds horrendous yet funny at the same time! I have to read the next part now to see what happened! #EatSleepBlogRt
Thank you for reading! I did laugh a lot just writing it, maybe on the verge of hysteria! If you don’t laugh you’ll cry, right?! xx
OMG – seriously that is the worse start to a holiday EVER – I think I would have given up and gone home. I feel so bad for you guys, hoping the second installment is slightly more cheerful!! #EatSleepBlogRT
The exact same thing happened last year too, you just couldn’t make it up! The second installment was definitely a little more cheerful. Just a little though..!! xx
Oh no Laura, what a bad start! As i reading all the stories the driver was telling you, I thought why would you carry on doing that job and it all sounded a bit strange! Trust you to end up with him 🙂 Off to find part two x #marvmondays
Haha I know!! I’m sure that we attract these kinds of weirdos!! Thanks for reading lovely. xxx
Oh sweet jesus – i would have just sat and cried! I’m moving over to part two – I have my fingers crossed ! #stayclassymama
Oh my goodness! I don’t think I would ever leave the house for a holiday ever again! Or perhaps renting a car instead of taking your own might be an idea. Reading this brings back memories of times that I have had major problems happen on vacations that ruined the entire vacation and almost put me into a straight jacket. The driver seemed a little weird huh? Freaky. Well I can’t wait to hear more of the story. Thanks for linking with #momsterslink.
Haha it was hard work that’s for sure!! Thank god we made it home safely…I’m surprised we haven’t had nightmares about the driver after that! xx
Oh no, how awful!! This seems to be what happens to us every time we attempt going abroad, something always goes terribly wrong so we just don’t bother anymore. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo