The things I’d do differently with baby number 6

For anyone reading the title and thinking this is an announcement, hold your horses!! As much as I will be eternally broody, five babies is more than enough for me and yet it doesn’t stop me from thinking about the things I would do differently if there was ever a baby number six. As much as I try to live my life with no regrets, when it comes to pregnancy I have many. Some are very minor in the grand scheme of things and some hurt a little deeper, mostly due to my history of miscarriage and stillbirth, and that deep rooted sadness that I missed out on such a lot due to my fears.

I’ve been thinking about the things I would do differently if I had my time again and thought I would share some of them!

Relax more!

My biggest regret with all of my pregnancies is, apart from my first who we sadly lost at 13 weeks, I have never enjoyed a pregnancy since. With a lengthy obstetric history, including multiple miscarriage and the stillbirth of our son, Joseph, pregnancy was incredibly difficult for us from the outset. I spent my entire pregnancies in a complete state of panic, convinced that something would go wrong, that our babies wouldn’t make it home, and that history would repeat itself every time.

I wish I could go back and tell myself to just relax, to have faith that everything would be okay, to cherish those kicks without worrying they would stop, to embrace every scan without fearing I’d hear the worst. I would love to have enjoyed even just one minute of that time and no matter how many years pass, I will always regret the fact I couldn’t.

Pregnancy pilates

With each of my children I suffered from horrendous sciatica, to the point I was in absolute agony just a few months in and this worsened with each of the children. With Harry I ended up damaging my back even further, falling down the stairs at 8 months pregnant and breaking my coccyx, and I’m still experiencing pain from that even now, six years on. I always wanted to do pregnancy pilates with the children and yet for one reason or another, mostly due to a lack of confidence at joining a class full of people I assumed would all be experts, I never did. I think it would have made a huge difference to have that extra strength in my back and post-pregnancy I found it to be so helpful!

Use an app

With Lewis and Joseph, 16 and 14 years ago now, we didn’t have pregnancy apps and with Eva, Megan and Harry, I was too afraid to tempt fate and even so much as download one! I would definitely change that if I had my time again, downloading an app such as the Emma’s Diary Pregnancy and Baby app where you can get week by week pregnancy and birth advice and information, keep a pregnancy and baby journal, track your baby’s milestones as well as get up to 80% off pregnancy and baby essentials. With us always having our phones nearby it would have been amazing to have all of that advice at the touch of a button and helped me a lot with any questions and worries I had during that time.

Be prepared

As part of my ongoing anxiety with my pregnancies, with Eva, Megan and Harry especially, I refused to buy a single baby item for fear of tempting fate. Looking back I was definitely a little neurotic, but those who have experienced stillbirth will tell you, you literally cannot relax until your baby is safe in your arms. Even packing my hospital bag was such a huge deal to me and one I just wasn’t able to face in advance, rushing around like crazy when each of my three were delivered as emergency inductions and wishing I had planned in advance! If I have any advice it’s be prepared!

Have a baby shower

Rather selfishly, if I did it all over again I would have a baby shower as despite having five children, I never had my chance. With Lewis and Joseph baby showers were still very unusual in the UK and being young, I had no experience of this whatsoever. With Eva, Megan and Harry I attended a lot of baby showers and loved the idea of afternoon tea and playing games, but when it came to my pregnancies I still just couldn’t bring myself to tempt fate. I wish I had taken the plunge to get all of my friends and family together and do that, just to have a lovely positive memory of my pregnancies, but I guess you live and learn!

Use reusable nappies

We used disposable nappies with each of our five and yet knowing what I know now, if I had my time over I would switch to reusables. I’ve learned a lot about being more eco-friendly over the last few years and made a lot of changes within our home to support this, I think reusables are a world away from what they were 16 years ago when I had my first, and I would have loved the opportunity to try them with our youngest three.

There are so many more things I would do differently if I had my time again, more than I can possibly list in one blog post, but I love that I have since been able to share my regrets with others, with friends or readers or those who contact me for advice on pregnancy after loss, and I hope my experiences have helped them to have fewer regrets going forward. And the truth is, despite there being so much I would change, the fact that each of them were exactly who they were meant to be is something I wouldn’t change for all the world.

Download Emma’s Diary app from the App Store here (Apple iPhone & Tablet)

Download Emma’s Diary app from Google Play here (Android phones)

** This is a collaborative post with Emma’s Diary **