Introducing “After School Club”…

Eva has been in school for four weeks now. Four long weeks, and I can honestly say that until today, I had no idea what she did at school each day. Over the Summer, before she started, I envisioned the moment when I would pick her up from school each night, how she would run into my arms, shower me with kisses and excitedly tell me about the fun and exciting things she had done at school that day . I imagined the walk home, the way she would skip beside me, hand in hand, chattering about her day, about the friends she had made and the new things she had learned. And although I was dreading her starting school, I was actually really looking forward to that part.

So it came as quite a shock to find that actually, the reality is very different! Every night for the last four weeks she has trudged out of school, her little face sad and tired, and she has slipped her hand silently into mine and walked home, dragging her feet beside me. And for four weeks, twenty long days of school, no matter how many times, and how many ways, I have asked her how about her day, her answer is always the same, “Don’t know!”, “Can’t remember!” and “I’ve forgotten!”.

So today, I spent hours on Google, reading up on the best ways to get information out of your child, besides the use of bribery, and it turns out that there are all kinds of articles and websites where “experts” share their winning formulas on how to get your child to tell you about their day. As I made my way through them, jotting down all of those relevant to us, I thought it would be fun to use them, not only for Eva, but also for other parents to ask the same of their children. And so the idea of “After School Club” was born, a series of interviews that I will post at regular intervals on my blog, where we can share the school years through the eyes of our children and hopefully, fingers crossed, find out a little more about their day.

So week one and here we are with Eva, aged four, who tells me nothing whatsoever about school other than the fact that she hates it.

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1. How would you describe school using just one word?

Boring.

(I predicted this one, she tells me a hundred times a day that school is boring..)

2. Tell me about the best part of your day?

Wearing my P.E kit.

(No mention of actually doing P.E, I’m wondering whether just getting thirty children changed for P.E took up the whole of the day?!)

3. What was the hardest part of your day?

Not being able to go outside.

(When I ask her why she couldn’t go outside she doesn’t know, either it was raining or she’s just gunning for sympathy!)

4. What book did you read today? Did you enjoy it?

I didn’t read a book. I’m four, I can’t read yet! When I’m five I will be able to read all the books.

(She looks at me as though I am stupid for asking this question in the first place..)

5. Did anyone in your class do something funny?

Yes. Someone in class two did something funny. They showed their belly at us. And when they push the door they fall over but they don’t hurt themselves but they just pretend to.

(This is the most she has ever told me about school. She is sat here laughing like it was the funniest thing ever!)

6. Who did you play with today? What did you play?

Athena. We played horses.

7. What rules do you have at school? Do you think they are fair?

Don’t pick other people up in your class. It’s not really fair, I’m very strong.

(She proves just how strong she is by picking up Megan, now that takes some serious muscle!)

8. What made you smile at school today?

Playing with the big girls.

9 What was the funniest thing the teacher did today?

She did nothing funny. She’s really not funny.

(I can’t help but laugh at this, Eva is still looking at me like I’m stupid though..)

10. What new words did you learn today?

Weirdo.

(I’m not sure if this is a new word she learned or she is just insulting me. Either way, best we move on…)

11. What did you feel proud of today?

Nothing, Cos my name isn’t on gold. I didn’t get a prize.

(The children have a traffic light system for behaviour but if you do something really special you go from green to gold and win a prize. I feel sad that Eva thinks you should only be proud of yourself for getting gold. When I tell her that she should be proud to stay on green she tells me, “Hmm maybe, but I really wanted a pencil.”)

12. Does anybody make you feel cross at school?

Well a boy was pushing me.

(Whaaat?? Who?? Why?? Let me at him!! When I ask her who she says he had a blue coat.)

13. Who is your best friend and why?

Athena. Cos when she was little she was at nursery with me.

(Athena and Eva are BFF’s, her face literally lights up when she answers this question. )

14. What did you eat for lunch today?

Erm I don’t remember now.

(She sits and thinks about it for ages as I try to jog her memory with every food stuff in the history of man…)

Hot dog and cookie! It was yummy!!

15. Tell me one cool thing you learned today?

We didn’t do anything cool. It’s boring! School. Is. Boring!!!!

(And there we are, back to square one!).

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If you’d like to feature in the “After School Club” series please email me at fivelittledoves@outlook.com and I look forward to hearing what your little ones have to say about their school day!

 

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91 Comments

  1. Toni
    September 30, 2016 / 8:12 pm

    You can get a menu from the school, so you know what she is eating, discuss it before and after. You can offer to go in and help, schools usually love that, reading, helping out, especially in reception. All they are doing at this moment, is playing, learning about rules, and trying to behave. It is utterly exhausting, and she will be utterly whacked, and totally spaced out. Have a chill about it til half term, then the Christmas schedule will kick in, and she will be up for it. Christmas in the first year of school is just lovely. Xxx

    Toni
    Mother to 12 and 10 year old

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:20 am

      Great ideas, thank you. I think you’re right, when they start doing Christmas things she will love that, and then the nativity! I so hope she will join in that, she would make the most beautiful angel! xx

  2. September 30, 2016 / 9:17 pm

    This is SERIOUSLY such a good way to get the children sharing stuff! Mine only goes ‘good day. had fun in school.’ Will try few of these questions on Monday!

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:17 am

      It definitely got her talking! I think “How was your day?” is far too general for them, it’s easier for them to think about it when you break it down. xx

  3. September 30, 2016 / 10:10 pm

    What a great idea! Every time I ask T right after school, she’s the same. But later usually while in the bath or while settling down to bed, that’s when she tells me all about school 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:16 am

      Yes the only time mine ever want to talk is at bedtime!! They’ll do anything for ten minutes more!! xx

  4. September 30, 2016 / 11:25 pm

    awww bless her, you did manage to get a few details at least!

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:15 am

      I know! I got more in ten minutes than four weeks!! xx

  5. September 30, 2016 / 11:47 pm

    Ha ha, this is great. Although I suspect N’s will be ‘can’t remember’ even though we’ll chat for ages about what he does each day. I do a #schooldays linky each week from Sundays, so do come and link up too.

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:14 am

      Oh I will do tomorrow Emma! Thank you! xx

  6. October 1, 2016 / 6:49 am

    aaaaw this is a really cute interview!! I love kids, they are so funny! your girl is such a cutie pie, I’m sure you two have really funny moments! x

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:13 am

      Thank you so much. She’s hilarious, the things she comes out with always make us laugh! xx

  7. October 1, 2016 / 8:44 am

    Aww bless her. My daughter is 11 and I still get “don’t remember” when I ask her what she has done at school lol.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:12 am

      My twelve year old is the same! More like can’t be bothered than don’t remember!! xx

  8. October 1, 2016 / 9:28 am

    This is a great idea! I do hope that by the age of 5 she can indeed read all the books xD

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:11 am

      Haha me too, she’s a bright spark, I’m sure that she will! xx

  9. October 1, 2016 / 9:47 am

    Eva is such a cutie!
    Kids are so funny aren’t they?!
    This is such a lovely idea for a series, I hope it goes really well for you 🙂 x

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 11:07 am

      Thanks Jayne. It was lovely to finally find out something about her day!! xx

  10. October 1, 2016 / 11:48 am

    This is a lovely idea, I can’t wait until I can quiz Little R on things like this! Her answers are brilliant though, I wih we could all keep out childhood innocence and honesty! #weekendblogshare

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 1:36 pm

      I know, it makes me sad sometimes to look at how sweet and innocent they are and know the will lose that. Some things never change though, I asked my twelve year old a few of these questions and his answers were surprisingly similar! School is boring!!! xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 1, 2016 / 2:19 pm

      Ahh I hope so, it’s heartbreaking to watch her go through this transition. xx

  11. October 1, 2016 / 3:49 pm

    Aww, glad you got your daughter to tell you about her day 🙂 It never gets no easier, my daughter is 11 and she just keeps her day to herself to ..Lovely picture of her first day at school 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      October 2, 2016 / 6:03 pm

      My eldest is 12 and I get very little back from him either! Kids hey? Funny how they want to talk at bedtime though…!! xx

  12. October 2, 2016 / 7:49 am

    Awww, bless her! I found that it took until at least half term for my kids to feel comfortable at school to be able to tell me what had happened and what they have enjoyed – although my 6 year old daughter still appears to have no idea, and when I ask her what the best part was, she says ‘lunchtime!’ #fortheloveofblog

    • Laura Dove
      October 2, 2016 / 5:58 pm

      Ahh I so hope that Eva settles at school by half term, only three more weeks and then two weeks off. I worry we will be back to square one when we go back though! Lunchtime is my sons favourite part of the day too, although he’s 12 and school is definitely boring when you’re 12!! xx

  13. October 2, 2016 / 9:04 am

    What a lovely idea for a series. R is only 14 months so not old enough to join in. I’m sure she will start to like school more as she gets older! #weekendblogshare

    • Laura Dove
      October 2, 2016 / 5:56 pm

      I hope so, it’s hard work seeing her struggle. She loved nursery so much, this really isn’t like her. xx

  14. October 2, 2016 / 11:10 am

    That’s super cute and I love that she’s known to be strong so she’s been taught not to pick people up haha so sweet!

    • Laura Dove
      October 2, 2016 / 5:50 pm

      Haha I know, I wonder what she was doing to be taught that rule though! She’s so used to lifting Harry and Meggy up, oops! xx

  15. October 2, 2016 / 7:33 pm

    Athena is an awesome name for her friend! I don’t know, it sounds to me as if she’s mugging you off a bit and she actually had a great time. I love the photo with the apple too, so so cute! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday.

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 8:57 am

      I sometimes think that too!! She knows how to pull on my heart strings that’s for sure! See you next Sunday! xx

  16. October 2, 2016 / 9:45 pm

    My little ones don’t tell me much. I have to ask other mums what their children have said to get info about school. It’s very frustrating.

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 8:50 am

      The only thing I get is that she hates it! It was nice to hear that there were some nice parts! xx

  17. October 3, 2016 / 9:09 am

    What a great idea. My boy is 3 so only goes to pre school but I can never get him to tell me anything! This seems like a really good way of getting your child to talk about school. Love how Eva thinks he me teacher is not funny at all!xx #mg

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 6:00 pm

      Haha I laughed at that, I won’t tell her teacher about that though, she might be offended! xx

  18. October 3, 2016 / 9:09 am

    What a cutie, oh school is boring, she is adorable! I hope it gets more exciting for her soon! So cute about her BFF though #mg

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 6:00 pm

      I’m sure it’s not even remotely boring, she’s just completely against the idea and wants to stay home with her Mama. Life is hard when you’re four! xx

  19. October 3, 2016 / 9:54 am

    Have you spoken to the teacher and asked how she is settling. As a teacher I would want to know if one of my pupils was finding it hard to settle. A great way to find out information. I also have a post 20 questions guaranteed to get children talking about school. I regularly use these with my own son (autistic) as he finds it hard to talk about school. Thank you for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT 🎉

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:59 pm

      Yes I have, most days to be honest, and she just says that she is very quiet and reluctant to join in with the other children. It makes me so sad to think of her isolating herself, especially when this should be such a fun time of her life, but I’m hoping she will settle soon enough. I hope so anyway. I must check out your post! xx

  20. October 3, 2016 / 10:04 am

    Wow she doesn’t sound like your average four year old! Bright as a button that one!

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:58 pm

      She is super smart, and don’t I know it!! Attitude to rival a fourteen year old too! xx

  21. October 3, 2016 / 10:24 am

    Aww I love this idea! These are excellent questions – I have heard that it is bad just to ask, how was your day? I am glad it isn’t just my child who won’t talk about their day. Mine is still at pre-school but is exactly the same. Poor Eva though, it must be so hard – it takes a bit of getting used to. I am glad her best friend ended up at the same school though! #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:58 pm

      I think how was your day is just a little too general for them maybe? Being more specific must be easier for their tired brains to remember! xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:57 pm

      I’m sure it is. She’ll get used to it! xx

  22. October 3, 2016 / 12:01 pm

    Bless her – made me chuckle. Even my daughter – who’s the most communicative of souls – struggles to remember what she did at school and what she had for lunch (she started reception 3 weeks ago as well). Then she has a second wind and tells me loads, but from the content I think most of it is straight out of her head. At least that’s better than my son who never told me anything – I had to rely on other mums – mostly of girls – to find out anything that was happening. Hope she starts to enjoy her school day more as she gets more used to it 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:57 pm

      I hope so too, she really does not like it at all! It’s funny the random things they remember, can’t remember what was for lunch but can remember the tiniest snippet of information! xx

  23. October 3, 2016 / 12:12 pm

    Oh bless her – its like pulling teeth with mine sometimes too

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:56 pm

      It doesn’t get any easier, my 12 year old is just as bad! xx

  24. October 3, 2016 / 12:40 pm

    Oh this did make me laugh out loud! She sounds so much like my Evangeline! We have a school menu and we choose what Evangeline wants together, although I always forget and so does she! So very funny! #MMBC

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:55 pm

      Kids hey? I loved reading your interview with Evangeline, I can’t wait to share it! xx

  25. October 3, 2016 / 12:42 pm

    Oh bless her, hopefully when she gets into the swing of things and doesn’t feel so tired she will open up!

    #mg

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:54 pm

      I hope so! I feel as though I am interrogating her every night! xx

  26. October 3, 2016 / 2:39 pm

    ah this all sounds quite familiar, my typical conversations go
    me “How was school”
    them “boring”
    me “what did you do?”
    them “nothing”

    I think sometimes they just want to chill out and not share. It is usually later over the dinner table the fun things come out. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:53 pm

      Haha yes, or at bedtime when they will do just about anything for ten more minutes! xx

  27. October 3, 2016 / 4:15 pm

    Oh my is she cute! It took forever to get Big (Luka) to tell me anything. I used FBI interrogation techniques. Behavioral interviewing. Shined a light in her eyes–bupkas. I got nothing. Little (Neko) goes to Kindergarten now and talks a blue streak about everything. Don’t you know, Big tells all now too. Go figure? In fact at times, dinner can last so long, we have to reheat their plates! Good problem to have. #BigPinkLink

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 5:53 pm

      Haha that sounds like us! The only chance I have of finding out how Eva’s day has gone is when Megan starts and they can’t wait to tell tales over eachother!! My eldest is just as bad though, how was your day? Fine…..!! xx

  28. October 3, 2016 / 7:13 pm

    Your post has made me chuckle, It reminded me of the standard response of ‘I can’t remember’, that both my girls used to give me. Now 13 and 11, I sometimes get a ‘boring’ or even the odd run down of what they actually did. Perhaps, I too should try out your questions x

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 8:17 pm

      Haha yes, my 12 year old says boring or fine, there’s never any expansion! Maybe you should try it, they might surprise you! xx

  29. October 3, 2016 / 8:05 pm

    Great idea for a series, so sad your daughter doesn’t like school…yet. Hopefully she will settle in soon enough and start admitting to herself that school isn’t that bad after all #EatSleepBlogRT

    • Laura Dove
      October 3, 2016 / 8:18 pm

      Oh I hope so, it’s devastating to see her so upset each day. I’m sure she will settle, eventually! xx

  30. October 3, 2016 / 8:23 pm

    This is a brilliant series! The answers to questions 5 and 9 literally made me laugh out loud. I hope she relaxes into school a bit more over the coming weeks. It must be a massive upheaval for a little person. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      October 4, 2016 / 3:18 pm

      Haha she’s so funny, it’s lovely to see her open up about her day as we really haven’t had any feedback so far!! xx

  31. October 3, 2016 / 10:00 pm

    Ahh I love this – it’s great to have some leading questions to open up the dialogue. I’m pretty sure for my entire school life everything was just ‘ok’! #mg

    • Laura Dove
      October 4, 2016 / 3:17 pm

      Haha me too, sometimes I still say the same about my day now! xx

  32. October 4, 2016 / 9:40 am

    What a great idea. My big little man is exactly the same! He loves his teacher so whenever I have tot tell him off he always says ‘Mandy would let me!’ ( I think not!) #KCACOLS #fortheloveofBLOG

    • October 4, 2016 / 9:41 am

      oooh, and #justanotherlinky x

    • Laura Dove
      October 4, 2016 / 3:14 pm

      Aww that’s so funny! Eva loves her teacher too, she says that’s her favourite thing about school! xx

  33. October 4, 2016 / 10:08 am

    This is such a great idea for a series! I remembered that it can be torturous to get any answer from any of my kids about school and I would get the usual “Same”. I may have to copy this and try at home with my youngest. I had to laugh at a few of her answers, especially 9! From the mouths of babes, they say! It would be lovely as she grows up, to come back to this post and read what she said. Loved this. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      October 4, 2016 / 3:14 pm

      Haha they are funny aren’t they? Yes it would be fun to do it again when she starts high school and see how her answers have changed, although perhaps they wouldn’t change as much as we think, my 12 year old still says it’s boring!! xx

  34. October 4, 2016 / 2:47 pm

    Oh lovely this made me giggle – when Meme was in reception all she said was ‘all we do all day is play!’ most kids would be happy with that but not mine xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 4, 2016 / 3:13 pm

      Aww that’s so cute, Eva says that every time she wants to play it’s time to tidy up! She’s not impressed with it at all! xx

  35. October 4, 2016 / 6:30 pm

    Eva has some seriously cool attitude. For someone who thinks school is boring she certainly makes it sound interesting. Like yourself I am happy in my dellusion that when Pinky starts school next year she will tell me everything. She blatantly won’t!
    #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      October 4, 2016 / 6:45 pm

      Haha I thought that, considering she hates it so much she sounds like she’s having a blast! Even if it is laughing at children who fall over!! xx

  36. October 6, 2016 / 7:08 am

    BB is the totally opposite of this and a fountain of knowledge about the school day – so much so that other parents actually ask her what they did today in order to elicit the information!! #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      October 6, 2016 / 11:19 am

      Aww I’m very jealous, I wish that my children would talk to me about school more! Lewis isn’t too bad about telling me about his day but it’s always the most random information! xx

  37. October 6, 2016 / 10:52 am

    This is so funny. I have the same issues with Fin. What did you do today? Can’t remember. What are your new friends names? Well, how should I know?! He takes great delight in telling me he hasn’t been in amber or red. I can usually rely on my eldest to tell me what he’s had for dinner. Sarah #mg

    • Laura Dove
      October 6, 2016 / 11:17 am

      Haha yes, Eva tells me she hasn’t been on amber or red at least, I worry about the day when she comes home and tells me she was!! xx

  38. October 6, 2016 / 8:56 pm

    Oh I love this and I bet it makes her feel warm and loved and listened to, even though she can’t remember anything and nothing happened anyway ;). Really fab ideas. She’s absolutely gorgeous by the way. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 7, 2016 / 10:57 am

      Ahh thank you. She’s such a character – four going on fourteen!! xx

  39. October 6, 2016 / 10:20 pm

    This is such a great idea! I really want to do this with my girls once a week now. Her answers made me giggle out loud haha!
    Thank you for linking up to #justanotherlinky

    • Laura Dove
      October 7, 2016 / 10:55 am

      Thank you! It’s funny the things they come out with isn’t it?! xx

  40. October 7, 2016 / 8:17 am

    Hi Laura, what a fun idea for a series. I can imagine parents everywhere being able to relate! I can imagine Eva answering every question in a deadpan, couldn’t care less tone. I guessing she learned her new word in the playground and not in class!

    My son has an exceptional memory, but I don’t think there was a day when he actually remembered what he did at school when asked. Right through until the day he left.

    My daughter was a little more willing to open up, but I did find it best to casually chat about school whilst doing something. The worst thing (I found) was to give her my full attention.

    Thank you for linking up with the #MMBC.

    XX

    • Laura Dove
      October 7, 2016 / 10:54 am

      Haha yes! Complete dead pan whilst looking at me as though I’m stupid! And I’m sure she heard weirdo off one of the older children in the playground too, I just hope she hasn’t been using it in class!! I think you’ve got a point there, when I ask the children about their day I get nothing back, but if I casually drop it in they reveal a lot more. Good tip there! Thanks Debbie! xx

  41. October 7, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    Oh Laura, how cute is this idea?! You know she is going to come out with some good answers. I love it that she physically showed you how strong she is! #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      October 8, 2016 / 4:35 pm

      Haha me too! She is freakishly strong for a four year old!! xx

  42. October 7, 2016 / 9:04 pm

    This is a brilliant series I love it! If my little one was older I would definitely be taking part. I love how the funny part of the day was someone showing their belly. I’m really looking forward to reading the rest of the series to get an insight into the secret life of 4 year olds. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    • Laura Dove
      October 8, 2016 / 4:32 pm

      Thanks Claire. Haha yes it’s funny how four year olds see the world, especially things that they class as funny!! At least she enjoyed that part of school! xx

  43. October 9, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    What is it with children and claiming not being able to remember what they did at school! I’ve had exactly the same experience over the last few weeks and its a little frustrating 🙁 I had the same visions that you did about what school would be like and now I feel very naive indeed! This is a lovely little interview and a great little trick for getting some info, very clever! Thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily

    • Laura Dove
      October 9, 2016 / 4:35 pm

      Thanks Emily. I’m just glad it’s not just Eva! It’s funny the random little things they do remember but the important things, nothing!! xx

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