Be kind, always.

“You must be so happy”

You hear it all the time. New job? Oh you must be so happy!! You’re engaged? You must be so happy!! You’re wedding day, you’re pregnant, a new baby. You must be so happy. And you start to wonder whether this is an assumption or an order? You MUST be so happy. But what if you’re not? What if you have all of these lovely things and you still don’t feel happy? Is there something wrong with you? Are you ungrateful? A bad person? Because, and this may surprise some of you, there have been times in my life when I have had everything I ever wanted and guess what? I haven’t been happy at all.

I have lived with depression for eighteen long years, my entire adult life. I went from being an outgoing, popular, confident young girl to just a shell of my former self in just a few months. And I have no idea why or how it even happened, all I know was that everything had changed and I couldn’t find my way back. I had previously heard about people with depression, usually when eavesdropping on adult conversation, and yet it was spoken about in hushed whispers and with a look on their face that implied that it was something so shameful that it wasn’t something you spoke about out loud. And so, aged 18, when I finally plucked up the courage to approach the doctor, who told me that I was clinically depressed and wrote me a prescription for antidepressants, I felt scared, confused and thoroughly ashamed.

And so I isolated myself further, feeling as though there must be something very wrong with me. People would ask me, “What do you have to be depressed about?”, my own family would tell me to, “Cheer up!!” and friends would assume that a night out would ‘fix me’, and slowly I found myself realising that it was easier to avoid people, friends, family and try to “snap out of it” as suggested by so many.

But I didn’t snap out of it and my depression was all-consuming. I would spend weeks holed up in the little flat that I shared with my ex-husband. I would go days without showering, dressing, eating. I would cry for hours on end and have no idea why I felt so desperately sad. I considered ways to end this miserable existence, convinced that everyone would be far better off without me in their lives.

Eventually it got so bad that both my ex-husband and I moved back home to my parents. I had lost a great deal of weight, was physically un-well and desperately in need of some professional help. And back under the care of my family doctor I did begin to receive more support. I saw counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, I underwent various therapies, tried a whole range of medications and at times I began to see glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel.

While all of my friends were beginning their post-graduate jobs or travelling the world, I was under-going intensive therapies and pouring my heart out to yet another health care professional. I felt as though I was the only person in the whole world who felt that way and it was unbearably lonely and impossible for those around me to understand. For all of his faults, the fact that my ex husband stood by during that time was a miracle. To continue to love someone who is intent on pushing you away, who has nothing left to give in return and who, let’s be honest, is no fun to be around, is a hard feat. There would be times where he would have to miss important occasions, events, even work, because I had been crying for ten hours solid and he was too scared to leave me. Times when I would ring him begging him to come home because I was afraid of what I might do. It was a miserable existence for me, but it was equally miserable for him too.

As the years went by, with the correct medication, there were many highs amongst the lows. I would go months where I felt as though I was clawing back a little of the old me and during those times I was happy, I really was. And then I would wake up one morning feeling as though the whole world was about to end, out of nowhere, just like that. And I would sit in the doctor’s surgery begging him to help me, telling him that I couldn’t go on feeling this way, and he would increase my antidepressants and send me on my way.

When Lewis came along I was over the moon, of course I was, being a Mummy was everything I had ever wanted. “You must be so happy!” people would say and I would tell them that I couldn’t be any happier whilst wondering what was so wrong with me? Why did I still feel so sad?

By the time I fell pregnant with Joseph I was finally finding my feet again, beginning to get back on track and things were looking up. I was happily married, enjoying Lewis as a toddler and looking forward to the arrival of our second son. I felt as though we had survived the worst and as I prepared for being a mummy of two, I had no idea that the worst was still to come.

So within just a few months of losing Joseph, it was no big suprise that I was at an all time low. The weight issues that I had teetered on the edge of for the last few years became a massive issue. I lost several stone in just a few months and when the doctor diagnosed me with anorexia I was so far gone that I no longer cared. I was surviving each day on diet coke and a couple of slim-a-soups and, at a time when I felt as though I had lost control of most areas of my life, I was clawing some back for myself. My parents seemed to age over night, they would cry and beg me to get better and yet I told them I was fine, just grieving, reassured them that I was eating and taking care of myself.

The following year I was finally admitted to an eating disorders unit and I didn’t fight it. I was tired, I was ill and my body was shutting down. I spent the first few weeks in there with a dedicated nurse by my side twenty-four hours a day. She watched me sleep, watched me shower and even watched me use the toilet. It was the lowest point that I can remember. I felt degraded, ashamed and as though I had failed as a mother, a wife and a daughter. And so I did whatever it took to get myself better. I ate, I talked, I wrote it all down, I opened myself up to the various therapies and group sessions offered there and I fought against every thought in my head so I could get out of there and home to my son. And by the end of the Summer when I left the unit, several kilos heavier, I swore that I would never go back.

And whilst I didn’t go back, it was not due to a recovery. My depression fuelled my anorexia and my anorexia fuelled my depression. It was a vicious cycle of self-hatred, self-doubt and self-harm, and I reluctantly accepted that perhaps this was all that my life had to offer. It was un-fortunate that at a time when I was already rock bottom, life continued to throw obstacles, heartache and more misery my way and so when my marriage broke down it was not a shock to me. It had been slowly crumbling for the last few years, the rocky foundations on which it had been built were not enough to keep us afloat. When it ended it simply re-affirmed what I already knew.

That I was not good enough.

And whilst I laughed and smiled and did everything that I could to protect Lewis from it, inside I was dying. When we announced the end of our marriage I remember the look of absolute terror in my parents eyes. A look that said, how will she ever survive this?

But by some miracle, we did. Faced with the option to sink or swim, I threw myself in headfirst and used every ounce of survival instinct to keep treading water. Within a year we had moved into a new home, I was holding down a full-time job, socializing on a weekend and beginning to embark on the world of dating. I had gained weight, without even realising, I was feeling good and I was stronger than I had been in years. With the acceptance that my marriage was over came the freedom from the great weight around my neck, the heavy chains of grief, the never-ending reminder of all that we had lost. For the first time in eleven years I was free to be whoever I wanted to be without that constant battle to repair a marriage that could not be fixed. And as we pieced our lives back together, Lewis and I, we paved the way for a new life, just the two of us and I was excited for everything that lay ahead.

By the time that I met Gaz I was feeling a world away from where I had started. Still, right at the beginning I was honest with him about what it would mean to enter into a relationship with me. I couldn’t promise him that it would all be plain sailing, there would be days, weeks, even months, when I might hit a dark place and need his help to find my way back. There may be times when I was feeling particularly bad about myself where I wouldn’t want to eat, when he would have to stand by and see the weight drop off me and he would be powerless to help.

And it was hard for him. To watch someone you love suffering is just heartbreaking, but to see someone so unhappy when you are doing everything in your power to put a smile on their face must be the most frustrating feeling. I’m very lucky that Gaz accepted me and all of my baggage and not only did he accept it, but he tried his very best to understand it.

For the first time in my life, being with Gaz made me feel beautiful. It’s very hard to loathe yourself when someone is telling you how amazing you are a hundred times a day. Even when you start to doubt yourself, that kind of affirmation most definitely starts to change your mindset and in doing that I felt happier than I had in years.

And I think the common misconception of depression is that we are unhappy most of the time. Depression is so much more than just feeling unhappy. There were times when I was genuinely on top of the world. When Gaz, Lew and I became a family I thought I would burst with happiness but depression doesn’t just disappear over night, it simply fades into the background. You can be feeling happier than you ever thought possible but the sadness is still there, just lingering under the surface, waiting to surprise you. You start to realise that weeks, months have passed and you haven’t cried or had a bad day and then just as you think you have got everything back on track, it jumps out on you, seemingly from nowhere, and knocks you right back down again.

People often say that there is that one defining moment in their lives when they decide that enough is enough. For me, I think that was when I had Megan. After Eva I became very poorly again with severe PND and it got to the point, as my weight plummeted, where the doctors wanted to re-admit me to the eating disorders unit. By some miracle, whilst waiting for a bed to come up, I fell pregnant with Megan and although not at all planned, I was so happy and desperate to keep her safe. I began to eat again, spurred on by an insatiable pregnancy hunger, and the weight piled back on. When she was born and so poorly, my sole focus was on having her well. Losing weight didn’t even enter my mind and allowing myself to give in to those post-baby plummeting hormones was not an option. All I cared about was being there for my baby. And right there and then, I looked around at my beautiful children who were completely reliant on me, and I knew that I had to change. And more importantly, I was finally ready to change.

And where as previously I have sank back into bad habits between pregnancies, this time it was very different. Falling pregnant with Harry so soon afterwards meant that my weight was at the healthiest point it had been in years. I ate us out of house and home and discovered that my love of food was far more satisfying than seeing those numbers going down on the scales. I re-discovered the joys of eating out, of cooking and baking and sharing meal times with my family. I noticed that my family stopped commenting on my weight, the doctor stopped quizzing me about my diet and that friends were telling me I looked good, I looked healthy and most importantly, I seemed happier than ever before.

After Harry I did lose a lot of weight, due to medical reasons, and yet I have spent this last year desperately trying to gain it back. To see the scales going up each week has made me happy. To see another pound on has been a massive achievement and never in a million years did I imagine that I would ever get to that point.  And although, like depression, anorexia never goes away completely, I can now shush those thoughts in my head far better than I ever could before. I can push them away with a new-found strength, tell myself that my children need me to be well, that being healthy is far more important than numbers on the scales and most importantly, that I AM good enough. And I can be content in myself, in a body that, although far from perfect, has given me five amazing children.

And actually, I can hand on my heart say that, the last couple of years have been very kind to us. I see my doctor at regular intervals, I still see a therapist and am due to start a new course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in the next few weeks. I still put those things in place to keep the depression at bay and to make sure that I never sink as low as I have done previously. And my beautiful children still remain to be the best therapy that I could ever ask for. Every single day they make me laugh and smile and I am grateful for this life, for my family and the joy of being their Mummy.

I’ve had people comment the last few years,”It’s like we’ve got the old you back” and I tell them that the old me is long gone. Like all of us as we age, we change and grow, but depression changes you indefinitely. I like to think that my battle with mental illness changed me for the better, shaped the woman I am today as a wife, mother, daughter and friend. I’ve learned to surround myself with positive people, to avoid situations that put me at risk of taking a step back, to remove myself from conversations that revolve around weight loss and negativity. I’ve learned that depression is the loneliest illness in the whole world, that there is no-one else on this entire planet who can see inside your head and share this illness with you and that battling against yourself is the toughest battle you will ever face. I’ve learned that true friends will understand my need for space and will be there to pick up where we left off, even when months have passed. I’ve learned that my family will love me unconditionally, regardless of how much worry and upset I have caused. And I’ve learned that even when there have been times that I have felt it was too hard to go on, there is always so much to live for.

And so when I tell you that I am the happiest woman in the whole world right now, I mean it. Today, right now, I could not be any happier. Tomorrow? Next month? Who knows, I may be struggling. I may be feeling down, anxious or struggling to push those dark thoughts away. There is no pattern, no rights and wrongs, no way of knowing how I will feel from one day to the next. But as adults we seldom share those days with others. We very rarely reply when asked, “How are you?”, “Not great, I’m struggling with my depression.” We are far more likely to say, “Great thanks”, and smile as though nothing at all is wrong.

I have never shied away from talking about my battle with mental health. I finally came to realise that there is nothing at all to be ashamed about and that actually, if more of us spoke about this openly then there would be fewer people suffering in silence. I hope that by sharing my story I can help even one person who is struggling, to perhaps reach out to someone who is feeling scared and alone and tell them, it WILL be okay. I imagine that all of us know at least one person suffering with mental illness, whether you realise it or not, and in a society where mental illness is still very much a taboo, that needs to change.

There’s a lovely quote that I read recently that simply says, “All of us are fighting a battle that others know nothing about. Be kind, always. ”

And that just about sums it up.

A smile can hide a thousand tears, so be kind. Always.

 

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55 Comments

  1. Jane
    June 12, 2015 / 7:46 pm

    I really needed to read this right now. Thank you x

    • June 12, 2015 / 8:56 pm

      If my story can show even one person that there is light at the end of the tunnel then it was worth sharing. 😘

  2. Claire
    June 12, 2015 / 9:52 pm

    Beautifully expressed. There is nothing to be ashamed of with mental illness and if more people could express their experiences with such honesty and clarity the world would be a kinder place x

  3. October 9, 2015 / 7:59 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your story and spreading awareness. I blog about my spouse who has bipolar and what it is like for the caregiver. Thank you so much for linking to #BlogShareLearn.

    • October 9, 2015 / 8:17 pm

      Thank you for reading! I think its great to share our stories of mental illness, it must be hard for you at times with your spouse. I think that others often forget that it doesn’t just affect the individual, it affects their families too. xx

  4. October 9, 2015 / 8:02 pm

    A wonderful, brave post. I always hope that posts like this will find their way to the right people as sometimes knowing that we’re not alone and that others have gone through what we’re going through and come out is helpful. Thank you. #momsterslink

    • October 9, 2015 / 8:18 pm

      Thank you for reading! And I agree, I like to hope that my story will help even one person struggling. Mental illness is such a taboo, it saddens me that so many suffer in silence. xx

  5. The Anxious Dragon
    October 9, 2015 / 8:48 pm

    Ive just read this after our conversation on my blog. The battles youve gone through would have finished some people, you are an amazing woman.
    Im so glad you have found a man like your Gaz. Having someone who makes you feel beautiful is an amazing thing, im lucky enough to have a husband like that too. That happy diary thing is so definately happening, and I may even break the law and do it before the new year;-)
    #mumsterslink

    • October 10, 2015 / 10:58 am

      Thank you, still look back and wonder how I ever survived and yet here I am…here WE are!! I shall look forward to the happy diary, the sooner the better!! Go for it!!! xx

  6. October 9, 2015 / 11:06 pm

    Beautiful! That is one of my favorite, favorite, FAVORITE quote. It is sooo true. Empathy opens up a whole new world, a whole new perspective, a whole new kind of life. Thank you for sharing. Once again, your family is beautiful =) #momsterlink

    • October 10, 2015 / 10:54 am

      Thank you, it’s my favourite quote too. None of us know what is going on behind closed doors or the sadness behind a smile. I try very hard to be kind, always. xx

      • October 10, 2015 / 10:55 am

        Me too and hope to be able to instill that in my son and any future children I may have 😄

  7. stuckinscared
    October 10, 2015 / 12:28 pm

    Outstanding awareness post! Honest, brave…and beautifully written. Thank you so much for sharing. #blogsharelearn

    • October 10, 2015 / 4:52 pm

      Thank you so much, it’s very hard sometimes to reveal so much about tough times but I hope that it can help others to see that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks again for reading. xx

  8. Nige
    October 11, 2015 / 8:03 am

    What a wonderful honest post thanks for linking to the binkylinky

  9. October 15, 2015 / 1:40 am

    Depression is such a hard thing to understand unless you have battled it yourself. I too have battled with it ever since my last child was born. Actually I am quite certain that I suffered with it before that but was never diagnosed. It’s truly sad that so many think that people with depression are somehow weak or should just “snap out of it”. I hate when someone says to me “what do you have to be sad about”. I hope that your happy train continues to chug on for many many days, weeks, etc. to come. Thank you so much for sharing with #momsterslink. Hope to see you tomorrow.
    ❤️Trista, Domesticated Momster

    • October 15, 2015 / 11:52 am

      Completely agree, unless you have been there then you really don’t have a clue just how hard it is. “What do you have to be sad about?” is the worst, like you are somehow a terrible person for still feeling sad!! I am a much happier person these days but I am the first to admit that I have my bad days, I have days when I look in the mirror and feel insecure, when I question whether I am doing a good enough job as a mother? As a wife? It’s hard, but the good days out way the bad and that makes it that little bit easier! I hope that you are having happier days, much love. xxx

  10. November 15, 2015 / 7:44 pm

    Hi Laura, thanks for sharing your story and experience. I know two people close to me with mental health illness, and like you said I am sure that most people will know at least one person experiencing it. I believe it is far more common and normal than we realise. But we just dont talk about it and we need to. So that people who are experiencing a mentall illness dont feel so isolated. Its so brave of you to share you story, and i’m so glad to read that right now you are happy becuase thats all that matters. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Emily x

    • November 16, 2015 / 1:54 pm

      Thank you Emily, it felt very cathartic to share my story. Xxx

  11. reimerandruby
    December 23, 2015 / 9:14 pm

    Beautifully written post! You’re so brave for sharing your story…. It’s so true that each of us is fighting a battle that others know nothing about. I’m wishing you well all the time together with your kids as they’re your great blessing and inspiration. Have a love Christmas to you too and the entire family! #LifeLovingLinkie

    • December 24, 2015 / 8:11 am

      Thank you! I think it’s so important that we talk about mental illness, however hard it may be. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas too, one more sleep!!! 🎅🏼😘xx

  12. December 24, 2015 / 1:17 am

    that was beautiful – my husband and daughter both have chronic clinical depression – mostly under control when they take their medication. Both hate the meds and both want to be ‘better’ but it doesn’t ever get better unless they do the right things (meds, food, attitude, exercise, love and care) it’s a terrible path to walk, but it can be walked if you let people love you and you look after yourself. Keep going and never doubt you are loved and you are vital to those babies of yours xx

    • December 24, 2015 / 8:09 am

      I’m sorry to hear that, it must be very difficult for you all at times. I find that often the hardest part is the stigma attached to mental illness. I am very open about my battles, of which 90% of the time I continue to win, but not everyone is as comfortable to hear of them. Thank you for reading. ❤️

  13. December 31, 2015 / 1:31 pm

    Laura, I’m sure you are helping people all over the web and you don’t even realise. You’re obviously a fighter and also you put your children first which is amazing considering the circumstances. Keep fighting girl!

    Sally @ Life Loving

    • December 31, 2015 / 2:31 pm

      That is so lovely of you to say Sally, thank you so much. For such a long time I was afraid to talk about my battle with my mental health and yet once I started talking i realised just how important it is. So many people have since opened up to me and that is amazing, just to have helped even a handful of people know that they are not alone is the best feeling. Thank you so much for reading. Xx

  14. January 18, 2016 / 10:27 am

    Thank you so much for sharing this and creating awareness. It’s a beautiful post. You and your family are absolutely stunning. Keep going and always remember that to them, you are supermom!

    • January 18, 2016 / 10:32 am

      Thank you Christine. What better motive to stay healthy and happy than my beautiful children right? Thanks for reading. Xxx

  15. natasham
    January 19, 2016 / 8:35 pm

    What a beautiful brave post…it brought tears to my eyes. Thankfully I’ve never known the feeling of depression but I have no doubt that your post will inspire many to keep going even when they don’t feel like it. #fartglitter

    • January 19, 2016 / 8:38 pm

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment and for reading. Xxx

  16. January 19, 2016 / 9:42 pm

    Beautifully written and so honest. Your a strong lady. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

    • January 19, 2016 / 10:14 pm

      Thank you, as always. Xxx

  17. January 20, 2016 / 2:37 am

    I loved this. I too have suffered from depression and every now and again I find it lurking in a corner, threatening to creep in again and take over. I think you’ve explained it really well so others suffering can empathize and the lucky sods who have never struggled can understand. Here’s to your ongoing battles- wishing you many happy days, months and years in the future xxx

    #fartglitter

    • January 20, 2016 / 7:50 am

      Thank you! It never goes away does it? I guess we just have to be very aware and honest when we do feel it creeping back in. I’ve got very good at recognising the signs, as have my family and friends. Wishing you all the happiness also, thanks for reading. Xxx

  18. January 21, 2016 / 5:21 pm

    Oh bless you lovely! Just want to give you a big hug! Such an honest post
    Thanks for linking up with #justanotherlinky

    • January 21, 2016 / 5:23 pm

      Ahh thank you. Hug much appreciated! ❤️

  19. January 21, 2016 / 9:15 pm

    A big hug for you, xxxx Thank you for being so honest and putting your story out there for everyone to read. Like you said if it helps even one person then it is worth it.

    • January 21, 2016 / 9:39 pm

      Thank you, much appreciated. Thank you for reading. Xxx

  20. January 25, 2016 / 3:32 pm

    As always, beautifully expressed, honest and full of the pain and joy of the human experience. I am so glad you are having a better time. You are completely right that we should always be kind, in any circumstances. You never know what battles people are silently fighting. Much love. xxx #brilliantblogposts

    • January 25, 2016 / 5:14 pm

      Thank you so much. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns isn’t it? I am just enjoying the rough with the smooth these days and trying my hardest to be kind, always. Thanks for reading. xxx

  21. Charlotte
    February 8, 2016 / 7:26 am

    Hi I have been reading your blog for the last two days and i really admire how open and honest you are. I can’t even begin to understand some of the things you have been through. I can relate to the topics, why are you not happy? And are you not better yet? Looking at me you wouldn’t think there was anything wrong at all. Knowing a bit about me, im happily married, have a wonderful 5 year old son and I am over the moon that I am 17 weeks pregnant right now. I should be happy right? And mostly I am during the day…but most people do not know that every single night is torture for me. I have PTSD and I wake up every hour or two from horrible vivid dreams that can really get me down. I was sexually abused and raped as a child and threatened not to tell and i didnt tell for 10 years. I tried to block out, act as if nothing happened and carry on with life but that obviously didnt work as i battled eating problems and self harm for years before the PTSD started. Even the people that know how bad my nights have been ask if i mention it again months later…oh your still not sleeping well?.. They dont understand that just because I dont mention it everyday that it doesnt happen every single night and has been happening for the last 12 years!

    Thank you for sharing your story x

    • February 8, 2016 / 12:43 pm

      Wow, I am so, so sorry for what you have been through. That sounds truly horrific, no wonder you have struggled in later years. It’s hard isn’t it when everyone expects you to move on from the past, no matter how traumatic an event, they look at you sometimes as though, “You’re STILL talking about that?”. It’s insulting and it shows huge ignorance that anybody would expect someone to move on from something which has shaped them as a person so massively.
      I am so glad to hear that you are happily married, and congratulations on your son and your pregnancy. I hope that you have many happy times amongst the sad, but I also think that it is completely normal to feel the way that you do and don’t ever let anybody make you feel differently.
      Much love to you, you sound like a strong woman. Thank you for reading. xx

  22. alongcamebuddy
    February 16, 2016 / 6:58 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story x It brought goosebumps to me, but that shows just how open, honest and inspiring your words are.

    • February 16, 2016 / 6:59 pm

      Oh thank you so much! It was a difficult post to write, as so many often are, and yet it’s always therapeutic to share. Thanks for reading. Xxx

  23. April 7, 2016 / 8:21 pm

    Thanks for being so open about your struggles. People are often afraid to talk about mental health issues openly, but there are so many of us out there dealing with them – as you said, people are often fighting battles you know nothing about. Never assume you know what people are going through. Anyway, glad to read that you’re doing well now. Big hugs! #StayClassy

    • April 8, 2016 / 5:16 pm

      Thank you! It really is so important to discuss these things, the more people that do, the easier it is for others to speak out who are perhaps struggling in silence. Thanks for reading. xx

  24. April 12, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    This is such an amazing post. You are so honest about your experience and I feel like I can almost see the change from the beginning to the end where you have become a new you. It’s amazing the things we do in order to survive, I can’t even imagine what it is like dealing with depression and all that comes with it. It seems life has thrown some huge obstacles your way, but you seem like such a strong person for being this new and improved you! I love the quote at the end, it’s a great reminder for all of us. Thank you so much for linking up with #StayClassy!

    • April 14, 2016 / 12:10 pm

      Thank you! Sometimes it is important for me to read back over posts like this and remember how far I have come. Whenever I feel that I am having a bad day I realise that it is nothing in comparison to what I have already survived. Thank you for reading. xx

  25. October 24, 2016 / 8:35 pm

    What a very emotional post in so many ways. My 15 year old was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and an eating disorder this year. She spent just over 4 months in a psychiatric unit over the summer. Your words remind me that just because she’s smiling and laughing sometimes she’s not necessarily ‘faking it’ she’s just happy in that moment. But most importantly, it’s a long journey that no one really understands. It’s a horrible illness. Well done for keeping going. You’re an inspiration.

    • Laura Dove
      October 31, 2016 / 10:44 pm

      Oh I am so sorry to hear this. My anorexia started around that age and I spent months in and out of psychiatric units, I sometimes look back and wonder how my parents coped with it. But here I am, happily married, five beautiful children, living a life that quite honestly, at one point I wasn’t sure I wanted to live. Hang on in there, it IS a long journey but I hope that it will have a happy ending. Much love to you. xxx

  26. August 15, 2017 / 7:05 am

    this is so true. Empathy opens up a whole new world, a whole new perspective, a whole new kind of life. Thank you for sharing. Your family is beautiful =) wish you all the happiness and healthy life to you and you’re family. Could you suggest me some books for enhancing inner growth at the times of making the right choices, work stress, how can I control my mind and able to make work my body as well as a mind for me not against me. I would be very thankful to you if you’ll be able to help me out.

    • Laura Dove
      August 15, 2017 / 8:45 pm

      Thank you so much for reading. I recently read The Secret which really opened up my mind to a new way of thinking, I’d recommend it! xx

    • Laura Dove
      September 20, 2017 / 10:02 am

      Ahh thank you so much. xxx

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