Finding the Balance Between Being a Parent and Being Yourself 

Your children are your pride and joy, but they aren’t your entire identity. That is why you need to find a balance. This balance, for many, can be hard to achieve. That is why you need to compound at-home duties, share the responsibility, and remember that it is okay to leave your children with a babysitter or with your family members for a few hours. Helicopter parenting, where you hover over your children and don’t let them explore and develop their independence and individuality in fear of them getting hurt, is detrimental to their development. To be a great mother and still make time for yourself, follow this guide:

As a Parent:

Have your children help with chores

One of the ways that you can make your life easier, and teach your children responsibility and the skills needed in life, is to get them to help you with chores. The earlier you start these habits, the more they will become ingrained and second nature. Examples of this include simple things, like putting away their toys every time they use them, or making their own bed. As they get older, you can get them to help you with the laundry and other cleaning tasks as well.

Have Them Help with Cooking

You can teach your children to help you with cooking, you will all enjoy it and you will be teaching your children valuable life skill lessons. Too many young people go off to college or university who don’t know how to cook, and nor do they know how to ensure they have a balanced diet. Have your children help with the cooking; it will help you out now, and give them a key skill they need later in life.

For Yourself:

Have a Monthly Date Night

You and your partner should be splitting the responsibilities of parenthood equally, which means that you both deserve a break. A monthly date night will also give you and your partner the time to see each other as husband and wife, instead of just the roles of the mother and father. Date nights can be anything. Make a reservation at a new restaurant in town, pick up event tickets at Ticketsales.com, or whatever else strikes your fancy. Date night is there for you two to have fun as adults.

See Your Friends Regularly

Just as you should have a date night, you should also spend time with your friends. Arrange to meet up for lunch, have a girl’s night out, or, if they have children, set up regular play-dates so that everyone benefits. Your friends have no domestic expectations of you, and you can truly relax and be yourself.

Make more time for yourself by having your children help around the house. Bring them in and let them learn responsibility, key skills, and great habits. With this extra time, you should be able to have more alone time and be able to find time to meet up with your friends. If push comes to shove, let your parents or a babysitter take care of your kids for a few hours. As a parent you have to wear several hats, and juggle several balls, but you also have to be able to be just you.

 

*** This is a collaborative post ***

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18 Comments

  1. October 20, 2017 / 1:11 am

    Wonderful post! I agree balance is so important. We travel fulltime with our kids so my husband and I have to work really hard to carve out some alone time. We try to make it happen once per month, even if it’s just dinner alone on the hotel balcony. I think it makes us better parents.

    • Laura Dove
      October 22, 2017 / 1:39 pm

      I totally agree, we are better parents for having that time to re-balance and RELAX!! xx

  2. October 20, 2017 / 5:02 am

    I remember when my kids were little, and the struggle for balance was real. Luckily, my parents lived close by and were willing to take them for afternoons on the weekends. I can’t begin to tell you how much I looked forward to some time for myself. I was a far better parent to them because of it. x

    • Laura Dove
      October 22, 2017 / 1:39 pm

      Yes my parents are very close by and are amazing at helping out, just to give me five minutes sometimes! xx

  3. October 20, 2017 / 5:31 am

    As you rightly say, the primary responsibility is to teach your children responsibility and the skills needed in life. But sometimes it does get a bit too much and we do need some alone time:)

    • Laura Dove
      October 22, 2017 / 1:38 pm

      Yes! I think we would be crazy otherwise! xx

  4. October 20, 2017 / 1:10 pm

    I am not a parent as yet however these tips are very informative if ever I do have kids. Finding a balance is so important for a healthy lifestyle. I will be sharing this posts with all my friends that have kids

    • Laura Dove
      October 22, 2017 / 1:33 pm

      Thank you Tescha! xx

  5. October 21, 2017 / 2:36 pm

    I totally agree with you, we women (or even men) has so much role to play. We need balance, moderation in everything. I can relate, at times I missed the date time with my friends, we’ll this article calls my attention to do so. Thanks!

    • Laura Dove
      October 22, 2017 / 1:19 pm

      Yes, as a mum of five I feel I lost myself for a while, I need to make time for me now the kids are a little older. xx

  6. October 22, 2017 / 8:27 am

    I have learned to find the balance. I am a mom but also an individual and dont want to lose myself.

    • Laura Dove
      October 22, 2017 / 1:13 pm

      Yes it’s really important that we don’t lose a sense of who we are. xx

  7. October 22, 2017 / 10:20 am

    My husband and I don’t have any kids as yet, however these are great tips to use when we do have kids haha!! I do have younger siblings and I definitely do ask them to assist me when they’re over lol .

    • Laura Dove
      October 22, 2017 / 1:11 pm

      Ahh yes, the joy of having younger siblings to boss about, hehe! xx

  8. Via Bella
    October 23, 2017 / 10:34 pm

    To be honest with you, this is something I struggled in and I wish I would have taken care of myself better. I am trying to do more of what you are talking about now.

    • Laura Dove
      October 24, 2017 / 7:41 pm

      Me too, I hit breaking point before I realised the importance of it! xx

  9. Thomas Blake
    October 24, 2017 / 9:15 am

    Something that every parent struggles with, no doubt about it. Excellent article thanks for sharing.

    • Laura Dove
      October 24, 2017 / 7:34 pm

      Thanks Thomas! xx

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