For Eva, on your first day at school.

Eva,

From the moment you were born I knew that we were on borrowed time, that this day would come and eventually, in what felt like a thousand years from then, you would start school. And, as a tiny baby in my arms, I thought that we had all the time in the world, that an eternity would pass before I had to accept that you were growing up, spreading your wings and leaving us behind. And I cant lie, the thought of waving you goodbye each morning, seeing you disappear behind that school door and having to walk away, it breaks my heart. Because you aren’t just another child starting school, just one of thirty in a class, you are my child, my baby infact. Our first precious rainbow baby who healed our hearts, and I don’t feel at all ready to let you go.

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And whilst I’m not ready, the truth is, you are. You’ve been ready for weeks, months infact, since that very first day you tried on your school uniform, looked at yourself in the mirror and your eyes widened in disbelief. “I’m a big girl now!” you had told me, and I swallowed back my tears at how very grown up you looked, how I knew right there and then that it was time to let you go. When we went shopping for your school shoes, you skipped the entire way into town, tugging at my hand and asking me, “Will they be black? And shiny? And have a buckle?”, and I had nodded along, squeezing your hand so tightly. “Will they light up when I walk?” you had pleaded, and I had promised you that they would. And they do, and I have never seen you as excited over a pair of shoes as you swung the bag in your little hand and told me, “Megan is really going to wish that she had some too!”.

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And part of what breaks my heart is just that, that the days of Eva and Meggy, sisters, best friends and partners in crime, is coming to an end. While Harry is very much his own person, I worry about how Megan will cope without you, and you without her, and whether the dynamics of our family will change as Megan and Harry find their own path together. And I know of course you will still be close, you’ll still be together every night after school, reunited with big hugs and endless kisses, but it wont be the same, not ever. Never again will there come a time when you spend every moment of every day together like you have done, when you walk to nursery hand in hand, my two little ‘twinnies’ in your matching outfits, bickering as you do, but loving each other whole heartedly none the less. I feel for Megan, as she watches from the sidelines, seeing you in your red gingham dress and your shiny new shoes, knowing that as close as you are, it isn’t her time yet, that she too has to let you go.

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Sat here now, looking at your uniform hanging on the back of the door, all pristine and ready, I am filled with regret. I regret those days when I lost my temper, when I shouted at you over the Summer, left the room for just two minutes peace and muttered under my breath, “Roll on September!”. I regret that I wished away so many moments, those exhausting nights you spent teething, the long days I counted down to bedtime, my patience at your relentless crying wearing thin when I was tired and already pregnant with your sister. The times when life seemed so over whelming and I couldn’t face another moment of Mr Tumble, Hungry Hippos or Baby Annabel, when I told you, “Not now!”, or failed to notice the look on your face when I snapped,”I’m busy!”. I regret that I didn’t make the most of every single moment we had together these last four and a half years, that I didn’t know just how fast the time would pass or realise that, although having the three of you at home was undoubtedly the hardest thing I have ever had to do, that one day, this day, I would give just about anything to hold on to this time for just a moment longer.

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And yet here we are. Four and a half, wise beyond your years, funny, intelligent, imaginative and breathtakingly beautiful. Of course you’re not as angelic as you may appear, you have an attitude to rival any teenager, you are fiercely stubborn and your sassiness knows no limits. I know that these next twelve months will see so many changes in you, that this time next year you will have grown in strength and character, but don’t ever stop being you. Sass and all.

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And the lovely thing is that thirty two years ago (How can it be so long?) I was just like you, starting at the very same primary school, in the same reception class, holding on to Nanas hand feeling everything that you will be feeling tomorrow. I was nervous, excited and most of all scared, and yet actually my memories of primary school are some of the best memories I have. You are going to have an absolutely amazing time Eva, you’ll finally learn how to read, something which you have talked about for such a long time. And whilst I know that my days of using that to my advantage are numbered, “Oh sorry baby, you have to be six to go on that ride!”, “Ahh sorry Eva, they don’t have that illuminous yellow, sparkly t-shirt in your size!”, I am so excited for the day when you come home with your first reading book, when we can snuggle up together at night and you can read me the story, to see you trace along the page with your little finger and sound out the words with your lispy little voice. There is so much ahead of you and I know, I absolutely know it, that you are going to flourish.

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There is so much I could tell you about starting school, with the knowledge of hindsight and the wisdom of my years, and yet the fun thing about primary school is working it out for yourself. It’s important that you find your own path, discover who you are whilst remembering all of the love, respect and strength we have instilled in you. So to quote the words from your favourite film, Cinderella, I will simply say. “Be kind and have courage”. The rest you will figure out for yourself.

And so tomorrow, when I let go of your hand, when I wipe away my tears and watch you walk away, just know that I have every faith in you, that I am with you every step of the way and that most of all, there has never been a Mummy more proud than I.

Dove0074

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152 Comments

  1. September 4, 2016 / 6:24 pm

    Such a beautiful post – I can feel all the emotion pouring out of the words. This is a very strange September for me as my third (and youngest) daughter start Year 6 and my first born leaves for University. I always find the transition phases of family life the hardest to deal with. I know that your gorgeous little girl will love school and come home bursting with things to tell you and her little sister. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 7:06 pm

      Oh gosh university is something I dread! I am praying that my children choose one close to home but I know that whatever they choose, I WILL have to let them go. Lots of love to you Mama, huge changes and no doubt highly emotional. I’m sure Eva will love school, and Megan has pre-school of her own to look forward to, it’s just me who will be an emotional wreck tomorrow and asking myself where did these four years go? xxx

  2. September 4, 2016 / 7:18 pm

    She’s gorgeous Laura! Good luck to Eva. Hope she enjoys her first day of school. I know what you mean about “borrowed time” I feel that too with T. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 7:02 pm

      Thank you lovely. She actually only starts tomorrow, stupidly I got it wrong, ha! I’m always aware of how fast the time is passing, in the blink of an eye it will be next September and Meggys turn already, and then the following year Harry, god help me then!! xx

  3. September 4, 2016 / 7:24 pm

    She’s such a little beauty! I cried my eyes out reading that, you echoed my feelings exactly. Ava starts school on Wednesday and she is so ready. I can’t believe time has gone so fast! #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 7:01 pm

      Ahh thank you. Good luck for Wednesday, it’s heartbreaking isn’t it? I know she is so ready for it and yet I honestly don’t think I will ever be! My eldest started high school last year and it destroyed me, at least I have another seven years to go until that! xx

  4. September 4, 2016 / 8:40 pm

    What a beautiful post, she’s so gorgeous you must be so proud, I dread this moment with my little one but it’s part of growing up even though you want them to stay babies forever, I’m sure she will love and do amazing at school xxx

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 7:00 pm

      Thank you so much. I really am the proudest mummy. Every mum thinks their child is beautiful but she is, inside and out, and I honestly feel like the luckiest lady in the world to have her. These rainbow babies are pretty special, fingers crossed tomorrow isn’t too traumatic!! xx

  5. September 4, 2016 / 8:50 pm

    So beautiful, it’s hard but amazing to see them grow into little people. I hope she has a great time at school and that you’re not too upset watching her go. Hope Megan is ok too! #kcacols

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:59 pm

      Thank you Emma. It is amazing, just so very hard when they seem to grow in the blink of an eye. Megan will be fine I’m sure, she’s actually really quite resilient, and I know she will be waiting with the biggest hug tomorrow when we pick her up from school. No doubt I’ll be crying all over again! xx

  6. September 4, 2016 / 10:47 pm

    Hope it goes well. Reception is such a magical year where your baby grows up and does you so so proud.

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:57 pm

      Thank you. Yes absolutely, they change so much in this first year. I just know I will look back this time next year and she will be a completely different child, hopefully still her Mamas girl though! xx

  7. September 4, 2016 / 10:50 pm

    Ah a lovely emotive post. My Archie starts school on Tuesday and it’s only just dawned on me what a big deal it is. I already feel very emotional. He is also going to my old primary school and when we’ve been in to visit, it’s like stepping back in time. So surreal. Good luck Eva, hope you have a blast!

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:57 pm

      Ahh that’s so lovely! I love that Eva is going to my old primary school and my eldest is at my old high school. I have such amazing memories of my school days, I hope that my children feel the same when they look back at my age. Good luck for Archies first day, tissues at the ready! xx

  8. September 5, 2016 / 6:27 am

    omg! she is so lovely! she looks stunning on her school clothes, I hope you she has a great day and meet lots of new friends 🙂 x

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:56 pm

      Thank you so much. She is a little beauty I cant deny it, I so hope that she settles in well as she is very much her Mamas girl!! xx

  9. September 5, 2016 / 7:46 am

    Beautiful Post! She will find her feet at school, and Megan will find her feet at home. Change is good 🙂 #marvmondays

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:55 pm

      Thank you. Yes she will, of course they both will, I think it will be me who struggles the most!! I’m looking forward to our weekends more and more, I suppose we will just have to really make the most of them from now on! xx

      • September 7, 2016 / 9:02 am

        only 2 days left now until the next weekend 😉 Back again from #bestandworst

        • Laura Dove
          September 8, 2016 / 8:14 am

          Absolutely! Then she’s mine again for two lovely long days! xx

  10. September 5, 2016 / 9:08 am

    Aww you made me cry! This is just beautiful and you’ve inspired me to cherish the little moments more. Gorgeous photos too! Thanks for sharing with #fartglitter xxx

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:54 pm

      Ahh thank you. Time goes by so fast doesn’t it? I already knew that from having my eldest but I think we forget, and it’s only when you have to let them go that you think, if only I had done things differently. Waaaahhh!!! xx

  11. September 5, 2016 / 10:04 am

    Oh my goodness this has just made me bawl my eyes out. It’s so beautiful and I am feeling the same today as youngest has just started pre-school. This is my first morning alone in 7 years! Eeeeks. I would do anything to keep them home a bit longer but then that wouldn’t be fair on them, as much as I want to cling onto them. #MarvMonday

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:54 pm

      Aww yes, I’m not sure I would ever be ready to let them go! My eldest is twelve and I would happily have him home every day! I hope you had a wonderful first morning alone and that your youngest enjoyed pre-school. Meggy starts on Wednesday and Harry in November, just five hours a week, and I am both scared and excited about the prospect of two mornings a week to myself!! xx

  12. September 5, 2016 / 10:20 am

    Oh Laura your posts always make me cry – this time, it is partly because I’m going through a similar time this morning. I took Emma to nursery for the first time today and I’m full of all these emotions – knowing that she’s ready for it even though I don’t want to let go and wondering why I wished away hours and days over the past year. What a beautiful tribute to your gorgeous girl and I’m sure with the new change, Megan and Harry will develop their own special bond too. I know I always say it but your photos are just so adorable, and I love your new blog theme 🙂 xx #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:52 pm

      Thanks lovely, letting go is just about the hardest thing in the world isn’t it? I feel like I’ve only just recovered from lewis starting high school and now faced with Eva starting primary, Megan starting pre-school and in November, Harry starting two mornings a week at the little nursery. That said, those five hours a week will be like gold dust, I’m already thinking about all of the things I will do – mainly lie on the couch and eat biscuits!! I hope that Emmas first day at nursery wasn’t too traumatic for you, she will love it and at the end of the day, we do what’s best for our children, no matter how hard it is. xxx

      • September 11, 2016 / 6:04 pm

        Thank you for your lovely reply Laura – just popping back from #dteamteam to say thank you for joining us this week…always wonderful to have you 🙂 Emma had a great first week at nursery (2 mornings a week for the time being) and only a few tears on the final day as she is beginning to clock that that’s what happens when we go to nursery. But she loves it and seems to be changing and learning loads in just 2 sessions so it’s so good for her xxx

        • Laura Dove
          September 11, 2016 / 7:08 pm

          Aww I’m so glad she has had a good week. I hope this week is a good one for you both! xx

  13. September 5, 2016 / 10:22 am

    Good luck to you and Eve on her first day of school – i was emotional enough about pre-school this morning

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:50 pm

      Aww thank you. Megan starts pre-school on Wednesday so I’m hoping I’m all cried out from Eva starting that there’s nothing left to give!! Such an emotional time of year, I keep filling up thinking how in just a couple of months time it will be her first Christmas nativity!! xx

  14. September 5, 2016 / 10:37 am

    They are always ready before we are! My second baby starts this September and I’m already teary about it. Growing up is so exciting, but childhood always feels so fleeting.

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:49 pm

      Aren’t they! My mum got all tearful earlier re-living my first day at school, said it felt like only yesterday. I guess our children will always be our babies, even at the grand old age of thirty six. xx

  15. September 5, 2016 / 2:01 pm

    A beautiful post. It is exciting yet heartbreaking that first day at school, I can remember both my children’s as if it was only yesterday. My eldest had his first day of his last year at school today and that was odd. It goes past in a flash. Hope she had a fabulous day. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:48 pm

      Ahh the last day, that’s huge isn’t it! My eldest started high school last year and that destroyed me, this year going into year 8 didn’t feel like such a big deal but I know when year 11 comes round I’ll be a mess! xx

  16. September 5, 2016 / 2:12 pm

    Awww gorgeous girl. Enjoy school! My Finley is starting next week and his my last baby, I shall blub A LOT! Sarah #mg

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:48 pm

      Awww good luck next week. I think it’s always worse when its your baby starting. When Lewis started school his Dad and I had just split the week before so I was convinced there would be no more children, I cried that much that I crashed my car on the drive home!! Hopefully tomorrow will be a little less traumatic!! Good luck lovely. xx

  17. September 5, 2016 / 3:15 pm

    What a lovely post, filled with mix emotions for your little one. Hope Eva is settling in fine in school. Beautiful photos too. By the way, I love your new header, so cute especially with the little angel above with the stars. #mg

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:47 pm

      Ahh thank you Cheryl. It’s actually tomorrow she starts, that’s how organised I am about the first day back – #firstdayfail And thank you so much, my husband designed it for me based on a frame I bought him at Christmas, he’s good to me! xx

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:45 pm

      Thank you. I’m sure she will have a wonderful day and Megan will relish in playing with all of Eva’s toys and sitting in prime spot infront of the tv! xx

  18. September 5, 2016 / 4:57 pm

    Gosh! I know that feeling of letting go – even though we know they’ll be back in a few hours, it hurts inside. Squeezes our hearts. Hugs, Laura. Now my son’s 18 and away at college, and will be studying on campus for 5 years and it is such a wrench. Sending you love. Thank you for sharing those beautiful photos. (I love your header!) #mg

    • Laura Dove
      September 5, 2016 / 6:45 pm

      Oh gosh don’t, the thought of them leaving home for college or university breaks my heart!! I’m hoping my children will choose to go to nearby colleges although I know as parents we have to support them in whatever they choose. My eldest is twelve and the thought that in just six years he could be leaving home kills me, much love to you missing your son. And thank you, my husband very kindly made it for me. xxx

  19. September 5, 2016 / 7:22 pm

    Oh my goodness, I am sat here with wet cheeks! How do you do that?!
    I think I feel this way because I know that this time next year this will be me. If anything this has given me the kick up the bum I needed. There have been hard days that have got me down recently. Threenager tantrums with an attitude to match and too many telling offs for my liking. I need to desperately embrace every high and low because I know for a fact that this time next year I will be an emotional wreck.Why do they have to grow up so fast. It’s not fair.
    I hope today went well and that she had a lovely time, and that you coped aswell. I’ve a feeling it’s harder for us than it is them.
    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post. What a lovely one for her to read in a few years time. #justanotherlinky

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 9:40 am

      Aww bless you. It’s an emotional time isnt it? And so hard for us parents to learn to let go. I think we will always regret the time passing so quickly but there is so much to look forward to and I try to focus on that. Eva had a lovely first day, despite tears at first, and we have almost made it through the first week together and ready for much needed quality time this weekend! xx

  20. September 5, 2016 / 7:25 pm

    I LOVE reading your letters. Beautifully written, such a mix of beautiful emotions. I do not have kids so I can’t quite relate, but I imagine it must feel quite intense, seeing your Little One off to the Big Kids’ world. Lots of love.
    Sandra x
    rustedbones.co.uk

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 9:37 am

      Thank you Sandra. I hope that when the children are older they will enjoy reading back over them, particularly when they too are parents and can relate to what we went through together. Thanks for reading. xx

  21. September 5, 2016 / 7:50 pm

    aw what a gorgeous girl and a beautiful letter. My son starts school tomorrow and is super excited about his flashing shoes. Good luck to Eva for the new chapter in her life X #kcacols

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 9:37 am

      Haha it’s funny how they get so excited over the school shoes! Eva was beside herself with excitement over wearing them! I hope your son had a great first day. xx

  22. September 5, 2016 / 7:54 pm

    What a beautiful post, you’ve bought a big lump to my throat and a tear to my eye. I’ve worked full time since my son was one, so even though I know we are both used to being away from each other for most of the day, 5 days a week, I can see when he starts school being an emotional time. Just the fact that he is growing up so fast and that I have lost that chance of ever having that much time with him x #MarvMondays

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 9:36 am

      Aww thank you. It’s hard to accept that they are growing up so fast, I wish there was a pause button and a rewind button for that matter!! xx

  23. September 5, 2016 / 8:38 pm

    Oh Laura this is just so beautiful, and something that I’m sure Eva will look back on and love when she is older. I hope her first day has gone well for her, and she will always still be yours at the end of every afternoon. I love your new header image by the way hon. (I probably should have noticed it ages ago but I am rubbish at spotting these things – it just really caught me eye as I logged in today – stunning!) xx #fartglitter

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 9:38 am

      Thank you, she enjoyed her first day despite tears at drop off and has gone in perfectly happy every day since. And thank you, my husband designed it for me! xx

  24. September 5, 2016 / 9:12 pm

    Lovely post. My youngest daughter stars reception next week and I can identify with much of what you write. Although I’m looking forward to having more time to develop my interests and career after 8 years at home, I’m also desperately sad that they time has come to an end. But like your daughter, she’s so ready, and these youngsters will take on the world and win 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 9:35 am

      Yes! That’s the only thing I am looking forward to as Eva is at school, Megan at pre-school part time so it’s just me and the youngest for two and half days a week. Good luck with your daughters first day, I’m sure she will be fine! xx

  25. September 5, 2016 / 9:24 pm

    Awww!! This is such a beautiful post. I know this so well although my eldest daughter is 20, we had to let her go to America all summer. I know that I felt the separation far more than she did and her younger sister definitely pined the summer away. If only we could wrap them up and keep them close forever eh? xx Good luck to Eva at school xx

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:27 am

      Thank you. Gosh letting her go to America must have been so hard! I can’t even contemplate it right now! It’s hard with sisters, especially ones that are so close, Megan is desperate to go to big school like Eva and Eva would give anything to take her with her! It’s also good for them to grow into their own characters with their own friends, and when they reunite after school it’s doubly adorable! xx

  26. September 6, 2016 / 7:19 am

    Oh honey I feel for you, it is so hard letting them go off to these big classrooms, such mix of fear, pride and ‘oh my gosh how adorable” they are! Feel like a lifetime ago now that aspen set off with her hair all pretty and her shiny black shoes, she will go to high school next year. Take comfort in my two girls they are still completely inseparable! About 20 minutes ago they were laying on each other watching TV and rubbing each others backs, then they came in excitedly to ask me can they bake cookies as they are feeling inspired, and now they are downstairs giggling and baking and making a mess lol. Even at night April sneaks in Aspen’s bed and I hear them chatting and giggling and if I go in they are always scratching each others backs with big smiles. Poor Adam wants to know when he gets a brother!! So I am sure your girls will be the same! Good luck to all of you xoxoxoxo #mg

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:26 am

      Thanks Mac, it only feels like two minutes ago that lewis was starting primary school and now he is twelve and twice the size. I think knowing how fast time flies makes it even harder, having to share her with school is so hard and yet I know she is having a wonderful time there and learning so many lessons that she will carry through life. At least I have Meggy and Harry at home, god help me when they start!! xx

  27. September 6, 2016 / 9:09 am

    Such a beautiful post. She will love reading this when she’s older. My Eva started preschool yesterday and she was definetly ready. X

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:24 am

      Ahh I hope so, I would have loved to have letters like this from my Mum to look back on. Children are always ready way before we are, I think that’s what makes it so hard! xx

  28. September 6, 2016 / 11:41 am

    This is so beautiful. It makes me want to cherish every moment with my one-year-old baby girl. I’m sure time really does fly by. We obviously think alike as I also quoted Cinderella’s mum in my latest post! 😂 You really do have such a beautiful family and they are lucky to have a mum that cares so much for them xxx

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:23 am

      Aww the Cinderella quote is a favourite of ours, really there is nothing more that needs to be said is there? Thank you so much, I’m the lucky one to have them, I guess that’s why it feels so hard to let them go. xx

  29. September 6, 2016 / 2:38 pm

    Good luck little one! Such a wonderful post, tinged with sadness and joy. I’ve got another year yet until I start BIG school. My mummy is going to make every second count!

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:22 am

      Ahh thank you. Yes make the most of it, before you know it they’ll be starting school and you too will be wondering where the years have gone. My youngest daughter starts school next year and my baby the year after. I’m not sure how I will cope with that!! xx

  30. September 6, 2016 / 5:23 pm

    Here I am, crying again!! The way your emotion, honesty, and love for your children pours out of the page, always makes me smile and cry in equal measure. I felt every bit of what you were saying about regrets-regrets that you’ve snapped, wanted time to yourself, said no more than yes. My eldest doesn’t start school until next year, but I’m already wondering if I’ve wasted the last 3 years begrudging how hard everything is, and doing anything to get a minute to myself, and not actually enjoying what I was privileged to have.
    But when you talk about Eva’s excitement, and all of the things she’s going to do, and learn at school, hopefully that’ll make it easier and soften the blow a little… I hope she gets on amazingly well, and I hope Meg will adjust quickly. I’m so envious of their relationship! I’d have loved a sister to be that close to!
    I love your new blog header too, it’s absolutely beautiful.
    #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:20 am

      Ahh thank you so much. I think we will always have regret when it comes to our children, and actually it would have been wrong of me to say yes to every demand, to not berate her when she did something wrong, to give her my undying attention twenty four seven. It’s just times like this when I’m feeling super emotional and I think, did I make the most of every single day? And the truth is no, I didn’t. There were days we did nothing at all, stayed in our pyjamas and watched Cbeebies for eight hours solid, but in my childrens eyes, that was probably the perfect day!! I am so envious of Eva and Meggys relationship too, it has been hard seeing Megans little face as Eva toddled into school but the most amazing sight when they have rushed into eachothers arms at pick up time. Being a mum was never going to be easy, just times like this are super hard! And thank you, my husband designed it for me! xxx

  31. September 6, 2016 / 7:05 pm

    Such a lovely post I really love it! I hope she love her school and new friends #momsterslink

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:16 am

      Thank you. She had a lovely first few days and has told me she has made lots of new friends, that’s all I can hope for! xx

  32. September 6, 2016 / 8:01 pm

    I hope that the first day goes well for the little one, my youngest is starting nursery and I really am struggling with it.

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:16 am

      Thank you. Aww it’s so hard isn’t it? I’m sure your child will love nursery, they always do when they are there, it’s just us mums who struggle the most!xx

  33. September 6, 2016 / 9:51 pm

    Aw, this is a lovely post. My son is about to start school. It will definitely change the family dynamic and it is hard to let go as they grow up, but there are surely fun new adventures ahead as well! #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:16 am

      I think that’s the thing isn’t it, it changes everything? My youngest two have suddenly had to play with just eachother and two and a half days a week Megan is in pre-school so it’s just me and Harry which is so strange! Nice though, and so much more quiet!! Good luck for your son starting school! xx

  34. September 7, 2016 / 11:25 am

    Oh this really made me cry – so beautiful, Laura – the words and Eva. I hope she has the most amazing time. And just how special that it’s the same primary school as you – that’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s hard to think about the positives when you see it as losing her to school but you know that in time you are wholeheartedly going to love watching her grow and who she will become and the things she learns and the world she will see. Big hugs lovely xx #BloggerClubUK

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:14 am

      Thank you lovely, it has actually been amazing seeing the change in her in just two short days. On the first day she cried hysterically and refused to go in, by the second day she went straight in without so much as a goodbye and this morning she ran all the way to school chattering about seeing her friends and her teacher, it made me even more emotional! She’s such a beautiful little girl, inside and out, and such a mamas girl too which makes it even harder! We have been making the most of our time together after school and making plans for the weekend, it’s a big change all round! xx

  35. September 7, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    What a beautiful post. I hope that she had a great first day.x #DreamTeam

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 8:11 am

      Thank you, she did have a wonderful time although it was a struggle getting her through the door!! xx

  36. September 8, 2016 / 8:34 am

    What a beautiful post.
    She is an adorable little girl, I hope she had the best first day!
    These little people certainly do pull on our heart strings 🙂 x

    Thanks so much for joining in with #MMBC. Hope to see you next week xx

  37. September 8, 2016 / 10:13 am

    Ah lovely! I honestly thought they were twins! So alike! I hope Megan copes OK without Eva, I’m sure they will both adjust. My littlest will start next September and I’m absolutely dreading it 🙁 x #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 7:26 pm

      Haha so many people do!! I have friends I’ve met at playgroups and seen every week for twelve months solid, who only recently realised that they aren’t twins! I suppose I forget just how alike they are!! Ahh meggy will start next September too, maybe by then I’ll be a seasoned pro! Let’s make the most of these next twelve months! xx

  38. September 8, 2016 / 12:29 pm

    That’s so lovely she’s at the same school you were – BB goes to the same school my mum did and I think it’s nice to have that history. Hope the first week is going well! #marvmondays

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 7:25 pm

      All going well thankfully! That link is lovely isn’t it? My eldest goes to the same high school that my husband and I went to also, as will the youngest three, so there really is this sense of having come full circle. Sadly it seems to add to the emotion!! xx

  39. September 8, 2016 / 1:46 pm

    Oh! She is so beautiful! Hope she enjoyed herself .
    Thank you for linking up to #justanotherlinky

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 7:24 pm

      Thank you! She had a lovely first day, we were both very brave! xx

  40. September 8, 2016 / 1:57 pm

    This is beautiful. Back to school time is filled with so many bittersweet emotions! Thank you for pouring out your heart. It’ll be great, mama, but you know that deep down I bet. #stayclassy

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 7:23 pm

      Thank you. Absolutely, I think that’s what makes it easier just knowing how this is such a wonderful time for her to spread her wings. It’s just bittersweet for us as parents because I suppose when it comes to our children, we wish we could keep them with us forever!! xx

  41. September 8, 2016 / 2:20 pm

    Ohhh just reading this has made me so emotional for Alfie starting in Monday, they grow up too bloody quickly don’t they. She look adorable in her uniform, hope it all goes ok. Thanks for linking up! #bestandworst

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 7:22 pm

      Thank you so much. She had a lovely time and has gone in every day since with a big smile on her face. Good luck on Monday, I hope that Alfie has a wonderful first day at school, and big hugs to you Mama! xx

  42. September 8, 2016 / 6:35 pm

    Oh … what a beautiful post. I have tears in my eyes. My daughter turned three last week and I’m feeling all the emotions … she doesn’t start school until 2018 but I can see myself being an emotional wreck when the time comes! You have beautiful children x #sharewithme

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 7:22 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. My youngest daughter will start next year and Harry in 2018, I keep telling myself that it’s a long time away right now but then I know how fast the last twelve months have gone and it will be here in no time. Being a mummy is always going to be super emotional, I spend way too much time a blubbering wreck!! xx

  43. September 8, 2016 / 7:19 pm

    So great that she’s attending the same school you did! #momsterslink

    • Laura Dove
      September 8, 2016 / 7:20 pm

      Yes it feels like we have come full circle, it’s really special for us. xx

  44. September 8, 2016 / 8:49 pm

    This is just beautiful -such a special letter to your daughter. I have felt all this too this week as my eldest has started school, it’s so hard to let them fly but i’m sure they will do us proud. I hope she has had a good first week x #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      September 9, 2016 / 4:27 pm

      Thank you. Ahh it’s just so hard isn’t it? She’s had a lovely week, just ready for the weekend now. It’s exhausting!! Hope your eldest settled in well? xx

  45. September 9, 2016 / 8:13 am

    Lovely heart felt post. It will make a beautiful memory in a few years and the pics are gorgeous!! #momsterslink

    • Laura Dove
      September 9, 2016 / 4:26 pm

      Thank you. First days are always the hardest! xx

  46. September 9, 2016 / 10:14 am

    This is the cutest post!!! I hope that one day when Eva is older she will read this and appreciate her mother all the more 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      September 9, 2016 / 4:25 pm

      Thank you, I hope so too! xx

  47. September 9, 2016 / 12:12 pm

    Gorgeous post, they grow up so quickly don’t they.
    #BrillBlogPosts

    • Laura Dove
      September 9, 2016 / 4:25 pm

      Yes they do, thank you for reading. xx

  48. September 9, 2016 / 1:07 pm

    Such a beautiful letter to Eva, I hope she’s had a wonderful few days at school! A few tears have been shed here! #fabfridaypost

    • Laura Dove
      September 9, 2016 / 4:25 pm

      Ahh thank you, first days are always the hardest aren’t they? She has had a lovely week at school although a slight incident today with drawing on other people with felt tip pen. Not the best end to the week – mortified!!! xx

  49. September 9, 2016 / 5:59 pm

    such conflicting emotions. I’m assuming it will get easier ( for us, they are fine ) #binkylinky Like the new look of the site btw

    • Laura Dove
      September 10, 2016 / 5:14 pm

      Hope so! I was grateful for the weekend!! And thank you, finally gone self hosted!! xx

  50. September 9, 2016 / 10:03 pm

    I’ve already commented once, but back again. I still have 5 more days until my baby starts and I’m pretty sure I will feel very lost. Love all you beautiful photos. Sarah #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      September 10, 2016 / 5:14 pm

      Thanks Sarah, Good luck!! xx

  51. September 10, 2016 / 7:23 am

    Your babies are so beautiful! Gorgeous post as usual. As proud as I will be when A starts school, it will be such a huge change too. So bittersweet. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    • Laura Dove
      September 10, 2016 / 5:15 pm

      Thanks Kaye. Its a huge change all round, I think Megan and Harry have really struggled without Eva this week. She is definitely the mastermind to most of their plans! xx

  52. September 10, 2016 / 9:01 am

    What a lovely post Laura, and again, your children are just beautiful. I hope Eva’s day went well and yours did too. This growing up hing is rough. While it felt like an eternity as a child for me, it feels like the their growth moves at the speed of light. Enjoy every moment is the key, if the ones that are less that wonderful. #mg #fartglitter #momsterlink #FabFridayPost #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      September 10, 2016 / 5:16 pm

      Thanks Lisa. Her first week went really well, she has settled in fine although she’s exhausted now! Gratfeful to have her back for the weekend, I wish that weekends lasted a little longer! xx

  53. September 11, 2016 / 12:07 am

    Oh gosh – what a lovely post. One of my little ones has started his pre-school year and the little boys are both struggling to adjust to not being together for even half the day. It’s a big change for them and although only 15 months apart there are two school years between them. Thanks for linking to #sharewithme

    • Laura Dove
      September 11, 2016 / 7:50 am

      Aww yes there’s 15 months between Eva and Megan too but only one school year, same with Megan and Harry. I feel sad for Harry as next year he’ll well and truly be on his own! It’s hard isn’t it! Xx

  54. Nige
    September 11, 2016 / 9:02 am

    Beautiful post and written from the heart our twins started school this week emotional time hope all goes well for her Thanks for linking to the #binkylinky come back next week please

    • Laura Dove
      September 11, 2016 / 7:10 pm

      Thanks Nige, will be back on Friday of course! xx

  55. September 11, 2016 / 8:00 pm

    Oh Laura, this is such a beautiful post! I think it’s really brought it home for me how brief the time is when you really do have your kids all to yourself, when you’re free to do whatever you want that day, to just jump in the car and go wherever. Of course, knowing that isn’t going to stop those moments where I wish we could just fast forward through them, but I hope that I can at least get to the end of each day and be grateful for the time we’ve spent together. I always thought I’d be pretty matter of fact about my son starting school, but I realise now from reading your post that I’m going to be a blubbering mess! I hope this week has gone well for you (and you’ve had a lovely weekend together again too!) Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      September 12, 2016 / 8:33 am

      Ahh thank you! It’s scary how fast the time goes, the baby days are such a daze and the toddler years so hard. I think when they hit four they start to become so much easier and then just when you’ve got into the swing of things they are snatched away for school! Eva has had a lovely week in school, she’s only on afternoons this week so we have five lovely mornings to share together, I am milking every moment!! xxx

  56. September 12, 2016 / 9:04 am

    Just stopping by from the #bigpinklink too! M’wah to you and the littles!

  57. September 12, 2016 / 9:10 am

    Hi Laura, I hope Eva had a wonderful first week of school and oh, how my heart goes out to little Meggy. It must have been terribly difficult for her to watch as her big sister takes her first steps into the world of school. Hopefully they will be able to sit down together and read Evas first reading books together.

    xx

    • Laura Dove
      September 12, 2016 / 12:58 pm

      Thank you, she had a lovely first week and is only in afternoons this week before starting full time on Monday! Megan missed her terribly although as with anything, they adapt so quickly! I can’t wait for those moments, Eva loves to exert her role as big sister so she will be over the moon at that! xx

  58. September 12, 2016 / 5:28 pm

    What a lovely post! I think all of your post are lovely but this one really made me think about what it’s going to be like when my son starts school. Hes only a baby now but like you said it goes so quickly! I really do need to cherish these moments.

    I like how you mention your experience starting school because I think it’s important we have empathy for what our children our going through. It’s so easy to forget! It sounds like Eva and Meggy have such a strong bond that I don’t think they will lose it ever! My brother and I were like that and continued to stay close despite the fact we were two years apart : ). This post is very well written and made me smile, thank you so much for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    • Laura Dove
      September 13, 2016 / 3:45 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. I think we all look at our babies and think we have all the time in the world, and then before you know it wham, time for school!! It has made me super aware of how fast the time will go between now and Meggy starting next year, and then Harry the year after. I’m trying to make the most of every moment but it’s not always that easy as any parent will agree! How lovely that you and your brother stayed close, I don’t have a close relationship with my brother and I really hope that my children have that, I will encourage it whole heartedly! Thanks again for your lovely comment. xxx

  59. September 12, 2016 / 6:02 pm

    Aww… this is so beautiful! Eva sound like she is so ready for the big school. It is so exciting and that bitter sweet at the same time isn’t. I remembered the first time Ethan came back home with his first reading book. I was so proud of my boy! I look forward to reading more of her day. I hope it went well and she enjoys it as much as you do. Big Hugs. Xx

    Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      September 13, 2016 / 3:42 pm

      The reading book is such a big thing isn’t it! I cant wait for that day, I think I’ll be checking her book bag each night in anticipation of it! She had a lovely first week and seems very settled, and me? I’m coming to terms with it!! Thanks for hosting. xx

  60. September 12, 2016 / 8:35 pm

    It really does go by so fast, too fast in fact! Alice started school last week too and its such a big milestone in their life. A real draw in the line moment. Life will never be the same again. Whilst I too know that Alice is ready to go, Holly and I are really going to miss being a little trio. For the last two years we have had our little routine and now we need to take this new path and its a big change for all of us. I hope it went well for you. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

    • Laura Dove
      September 13, 2016 / 3:39 pm

      It changes everything doesn’t it? Megan was heartbroken at losing her wing woman, she’s had to rope Harry in to all of her wily plans!! Eva is definitely ready for school though, that helps doesn’t it, knowing they are having a good time. And next year Megan will join Eva at school, and the year after Harry, and THEN I really will be devastated!!! I hope Alice had a lovely week. xx

  61. September 13, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    How emotional is this please? I loved reading it…smiling one minute and crying the next ahhh! Firstly both girls are little stunners and so lovely. Secondly I felt so much emotion about the regrets..YES to that. I totally felt your disappointment in those days we get mad and lack the time. Some days I look at Megs too (mine) and wish foe one more day of having her at home. I look at her exhausted every day from school and wonder if she is truly happy and would I be able to tell otherwise? Its a constant check list of wanting to be enough for them, sometimes we get it right, sometimes we dont. But in my short experience they are good at forgiving and forgetting to moments we get it a little wrong x

    • Laura Dove
      September 15, 2016 / 1:49 pm

      Thanks Mary. It’s so hard being a parent, letting go but still wanting to keep them close. I also feel the same way about Eva, she is absolutely shattered from just half days this last two weeks, I worry how she will cope with full time next week! I’m sure our daughters are very happy in school, not that Eva tells me anything at all about her day!! Roll on parents evening!! xx

  62. September 14, 2016 / 11:18 am

    What a beautiful post! I could feel your emotions whilst reading it. My little one isn’t at school age yet but I can just imagine how hard it is to realise they are growing into little independent humans. Your pictures are just beautiful, such a lovely family. #StayClassyMama

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

    • Laura Dove
      September 15, 2016 / 1:44 pm

      Thank you so much! It was incredibly difficult to let her go and yet already I can see her growing in confidence and that in itself is lovely! xx

  63. September 15, 2016 / 10:05 am

    What a lovely letter! Sass goes a long way when you’re starting school, she will settle in in no time! #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      September 15, 2016 / 1:42 pm

      Thank you. She has settled really well but WOW her sassiness has reached new limits, over tired!! xx

  64. September 15, 2016 / 12:54 pm

    What a beautiful post. She is adorable, and obviously ready to go. I think I must have a heart of stone, because when N started last year, it was the next step and I was seeing him off with me being proud that he was ready to go and that he settled in so well. But I also didn’t have him at home with me because he was in nursery most of the week while I was at work which does make it easier to make that switch. Hope Megan is working out that there are benefits of her sister not always being there with her.

    (Feel free to come and link up to my #schooldays linky with any school themed posts.)

    • Laura Dove
      September 15, 2016 / 1:41 pm

      Thank you. I think that it makes a huge difference doesn’t it when they’ve been in nursery and then to school. Eva only did 15 hours a week last year and so for the majority of time she was home with us and we were very used to doing everything together. It has been lovely to see Meggy and Harry develop their own little bond, although hard work too as they just wind eachother up, but they are always thankful when Eva returns home from school! And yes, I will try and link up with future posts! xx

  65. Mads
    September 15, 2016 / 4:41 pm

    So beautiful! *holding back tears*

    • Laura Dove
      September 15, 2016 / 5:19 pm

      Aww thank you. xxx

  66. September 15, 2016 / 11:20 pm

    I became a mommy nine months ago and the thing that has hit me the hardest wasn’t the responsibility, the workload, the complete change of lifestyle and priorities, or the overwhelming sense of love. It was the feeling of borrowed time. It feels as if nine months ago the world passed into a different dimension and time now goes by faster. I want it to slow down now. I’m not ready! #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      September 16, 2016 / 6:42 pm

      That’s exactly how I felt, from the moment I had my first and now he is coming up to thirteen. Everyone tells you time flies when you have children and you’re thinking, how? How is a year suddenly any less time than a year? But it just flies, maybe because you’re so busy or it’s all a blur in those early days, but one day they’re born and the next they’re starting school. Waaaaahhh!! xx

  67. September 16, 2016 / 10:23 am

    That’s beautiful, what a lovely letter.
    We are at the other end, my youngest had his last first day this Monday, going back into year 13, he wouldn’t let me take a photo or anything…
    I know one of the other comments said it, but I’ll say it too, start mentally preparing yourself for when they go to Uni now. When my daughter left me with a house full of boys it took quite some getting used to that’s for sure! Thank goodness for social media so they can keep in touch without their mum cramping their style too much!

    • Laura Dove
      September 16, 2016 / 6:40 pm

      Awww how emotional! It was hard enough last year when my eldest started high school, I was an absolute wreck! I know that in not time at all he will be leaving home and can only comfort myself with the fact that there are ten years between my youngest and eldest and I have a whole decade until I have to deal with it all again! xx

  68. Becci - The Unnatural Mother
    September 16, 2016 / 4:42 pm

    Such a beautiful happy girl. Hope Eva is having a great time at school. Harry is loving every minutes so it’s been easy m which is a releif #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      September 16, 2016 / 6:35 pm

      Ah I’m so glad he is enjoying school! Eva cried hysterically the first day, I was traumatised thinking we would have it each morning, but she has been fine since then and the only issue is how grumpy she is from being so tired!! xx

  69. September 16, 2016 / 9:02 pm

    Wow what an emotional post – my little one is only 15 months but your words have brought home to me how precious our time with our babies is. This mothering lark is a roller coaster of emotions isn’t it. Glad to read all is going well. x #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      September 17, 2016 / 5:55 pm

      Ahh and it flies doesn’t it? They just grow so fast and I know every says it but you literally blink and miss it. My youngest is two and I swear I just gave birth to him!! xx

  70. September 17, 2016 / 8:00 am

    This brought tears to my eyes and I had to go cuddle my son before writing this comment. Thanks for reminding me the time goes by way too quick. #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      September 17, 2016 / 5:52 pm

      Ahh Emma, I think we all lose track of time sometimes and before you know it, they’re off to school and the time has flown. My eldest will be thirteen in April, I cant even begin to get my head around that!! xx

  71. September 17, 2016 / 2:29 pm

    Oh wow! Such a lump in my throat reading this! I’m already dreading my little girl starting school in two years time! Beautiful post – thank you for sharing. #Sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      September 17, 2016 / 5:47 pm

      Ahh it’s hard isn’t it? My youngest starts in two years and that really will be hard, I think when it’s your last everything is going to be hard!! Waaahhh!! x

  72. September 21, 2016 / 3:23 am

    This year was a little easier for me than last year. My son (first born) started kindergarten last year and I was good all the way until I got into the car and then I lost it. All the way home I cried big alligator tears. This year thought with my little monster M starting kindergarten I didn’t even cry. Once she realized that she was going to love school and she smiled at me and let go of my hand I realized that she’s just like me and wouldn’t want her mother to shed tears on a day she was so happy. She’s my strong, independent one. She strums her own tune, all the time, but it still doesn’t mean I don’t have days that I cry quietly to myself when I think about how fast all of them are growing. I always love your photography with your posts. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with #momsterslink..I am always so happy to read.

    • Laura Dove
      September 21, 2016 / 8:49 am

      Aww I’m glad that this year was easier for you. Eva seemed to settle so well and yet this week with the start of full days in school she has really struggled. She cried until 10pm last night, sobbing please don’t send me to school again, I hate it, and it broke my heart. She’s so tired, exhausted infact, and I just wish I could scoop her up and take her home, but of course I can’t. I hope things improve, it’s hard enough being a parent without feeling that you’re doing it all wrong. xxx

      • September 21, 2016 / 7:14 pm

        Just give it some time and I am sure she will begin to love it. Especially when she discovers her first best friend. It’s hard on us mommies to see our kids struggle with certain things but we have to remember that someday they will be adults and we won’t always be there to solve their problems. Chin up mama!

        • Laura Dove
          September 22, 2016 / 11:13 am

          Thanks lovely, I’m sure it will get easier…! xx

  73. Jo
    January 25, 2017 / 6:39 pm

    What a beautiful letter, and it’s given me such insight into the emotional aspect of watching your children grow up. It’s like that saying ‘If you love them you let them go’. A truly selfless act of being a mum/parent 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      January 26, 2017 / 11:10 am

      Thank you Jo, that’s so lovely of you to say. You’re right, letting them go is the hardest part of being a parent. xx

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