I’m sorry if I fooled you…..

Last week, when I commented on a fellow blogger’s photograph on Instagram, offering my sympathy when her two year old had thrown the mother of all tantrums at the supermarket, she replied, “I don’t know how you cope with four! You make it look so easy!”. And I was astounded that she felt that way, that she had followed my photos for the last two years and failed to noticed the cracks in my smile, the dark rings under my eyes, the gritted teeth and defeated stance. I was surprised that anyone was under the impression that our life with four children was anything other than hectic and crazy and utterly exhausting, and yet I guess the problem we have with social media, is that there is a fine line between what is real, and what is not.

“You put us Mums to shame!”, another Instagram follower recently commented on a couple of baking and craft photos I shared, “I don’t know how you find the time!”. And yet what I failed to share in those posts, because I didn’t feel the need for a running commentary, is that I loathe doing crafts with the children, that as much as they love it, and that should be all that matters, I find it frustrating and stressful and annoying as hell!!

When there’s glue and glitter being flung around my kitchen, when the kids are at each others throats because one of them is hogging the scissors or has used up all the red felt tip pen, when there’s egg shell in the cookie dough, clouds of icing sugar on my black gloss units, snot and tears in the cake mix that I can’t eat even if I wanted to because it’s not gluten bloody free, that’s when I lose my sh*t!!

“Wow your house is spotless! I wish mine looked that tidy!” a fellow Mum of four commented on my photo, a remark which made me, and especially Gaz, laugh out loud. The truth is our house is a bombsite! We spend our lives cleaning and tidying, but it’s like the saying goes, trying to have a clean house with children is like shovelling snow while it’s still snowing!

And so we have become adept at positioning the children infront of the only tidy corner of the house, sweeping aside the toys like a human bulldozer, perfecting our camera angles to avoid the mountain of laundry piled up in the kitchen, the dirty handprints on the windows, the dust gathering on my skirting boards, crumbs, stray socks, scattered Lego (ouch!), and an array of discarded pyjamas. Our home may appear to be in perfect order but, trust me when I tell you, it’s more squatters hovel than show home.

“You look great!” people commented when I shared a photo of Gaz and I at a wedding this month. But what I didn’t share was the weeks I had spent stressing over my outfit, the twenty seven dresses I had ordered and returned, feeling fat and ugly and out of touch with todays fashion. I didn’t share my tears when the beautician waxed off too much of my eyebrow, the hour I spent in the mirror trying to illuminate my dull looking skin with products that cost a fortune and did very little, caking on the under eye concealer and attemting to cover Mount Vesuvius which had erupted on my chin.

You didn’t see the morning I spent in the hairdressers, taming what’s left of my hair into something that doesn’t show my scalp, the full can of hairspray to keep my Troll-like regrowth under wraps, nor the fact that, despite their best efforts, my “do” didn’t transform me into Jessica Alba after all. The “glow” you describe is a greasy forehead, the sparkle in my eye, too much Koppaberg, the fact that I look even half decent, entirely down to a good angle and a kick ass filter.

“It must be lovely that your children get on so well!”, other Mums tell me, admiring my photos where they pose arm in arm, sharing kisses and cuddles, appearing to be the best of friends. What you don’t see are the days when the children are tearing each others hair out, quite literally, when just looking at the other in the wrong way can spark World War three, the screaming and crying and the incessant tale telling, their refusal to share, “I’m not your friend!”, “You’re not coming to my party!”, the moments when I question why anyone in their right mind would have more than one child at all?!

“You must really enjoy being a Mum!” others comment on my photos, and the honest response to that is no, not always. Who loves stinky nappies, screaming children and being shown up in public? Who loves being skint, refereeing bust ups, and scraping Weetabix from the kitchen floor each morning? Who loves waking up to an elbow in their face, a foot in their groin, the snuffly snores of at least one of my four, just millimetres away from my face, night after night, practically hallucinating with exhaustion? Yes I love my children, and God knows I waited a long time for this, but there are parts of parenting that I really didn’t sign up for, and I’ve mentally written my resignation letter on more than one occasion!

“You and Gaz make the perfect couple” people comment, mainly those who aren’t privy to the fact that most of the time we refer to each other as Nob Head, never sharing the terrible things we have said in a sleep deprived rage, the times when I have threatened divorce or fantasised about smothering him in his sleep.

I never mention the fact that he makes me see red by leaving his peanut butter encrusted spoon on the side each morning, wondering why it’s so hard for his tiny little brain to register that the glasses have a place in the cupboard and don’t belong stacked up on the side next to the toaster, that tidying up doesn’t mean just putting everything into a pile and leaving it exactly where you found it…………*and breathe*……

Because the truth is, it’s all a façade, everything you see on social media, none of it’s real, and I’m sorry if I fooled you. I apologise if you believed that my life is every bit as perfect as it appears to be, that you looked at my photos and failed to realise that those beaming smiles and Amaro filtered poses are merely snapshots of our life. And although I pride myself on being honest and truthful on my blog, and I make a conscious effort to share the highs and the lows, I guess that inadvertently I am guilty of not always doing the same on Instagram, not wanting to sully my beautiful feed with a screaming tantrum or a Jeremy Kyle style rant about Gaz and his crusty peanut butter spoon.

And so from now on I vow to share a few more “real” photos in my feed, glimpses of our messy house (well maybe not Clothes Mountain, or the rotting grout in the bathroom, nobody needs to see that….), my greasy hair and 20kg eye bags, snotty noses and teenage tantrums, the imperfect moments that may not be as aesthetically pleasing as my pristinely dressed girls, or Gaz and I dressed up to the nines, but a reminder that not everything we see on Instagram is real.

I’m sorry if I fooled you, but the truth is, you fooled me too.

 

 

 

 

 

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229 Comments

  1. March 31, 2017 / 7:16 pm

    Oh Laura I love you so much! So true – all of it. Some days I too have dreamt of smothering my husband, more than once. I try and post a real life post every now and then on my Instagram and today on my blog I’ve had a truthful post for a change too – something I don’t often do.

    Take care – you still look lovely whether it is grease or not!

  2. March 31, 2017 / 7:27 pm

    Such a good post!!! Pretty sure we’ll all guilty of this deceit and it only gets harder to undo it as time goes on and the pretty pictures take over! Loved your description of Gaz, Dave has the same inability to put things in the cupboard or dirty things in the sink… I mean really, how hard is it?! xx

  3. March 31, 2017 / 7:35 pm

    My husband and I have this debate all the time. He left all social media a few years back as he said that seeing other people’s ‘perfect’ lives was too frustrating for him and made him feel like his life didn’t quite match up. I don’t see it like that myself – I find motherhood exactly the same as you, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions, especially with a child who is very much either ecstatically happy or really upset / angry. I guess what I’m saying is that I assume anyone who presents things with an ‘instagram filter’ on definitely has the same struggles and concerns, they just choose not to share them, and that’s their choice. I follow a range of accounts, both the ‘picture perfect’ ones, and more real life ones, and I think however you choose to present things, as long as you’re honest about things then that comes across. For what it’s worth, I adore your Instagram, whether it’s picture perfect or more real life, it’ll still be one of my absolute favourites.

  4. March 31, 2017 / 7:36 pm

    Oh Laura, I loved this post! I can so relate both to the comment and the truth of what life is really like… and I only have one child (if you don’t count my OH!) I don’t think it’s a crime to mostly share the good (and cleaner) moments as long as we are honest about the fact that life is not always as shiny and pretty as we make it out to be on social media xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 4:13 pm

      I think that’s the important thing isn’t it? I try to make sure that my caption reflects the truth, even if the photo is an edited version of that! xx

  5. March 31, 2017 / 7:41 pm

    Nice one Dovela. Show everyone your car you want to 😉😂

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 9:01 pm

      Hahaha I’m not sure they’re ready for that Ndrew….!! xx

  6. March 31, 2017 / 8:03 pm

    For me Instagram is normally a lovely picture and then its the words that people share the hard times, the tough times and the real life. Also with Inststories people are sharing the normal everyday bits, I know that I am starting to use Instastories more and you will see my lounge covered in toys, the toys that are normally swept out of the way for a photo. I love Instagram and your Instagram, I think you are honest in the words that you use with your photos. My husband came of FB 6 years because he didn’t like the way that people would use it to make people feel bad, or post a status that was clearly directed an individual and they weren’t brave enough to actually have it out with that person. I think Instagram is the opposite to this and we use for the pretty pictures. I know that I share more real life over on my FB page. x

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 9:01 pm

      I agree, I might share a photo that appears to be perfect, but if you read my caption you will see that the kids were screaming for the majority of the day and I was surviving on chocolate, wine and the prospect of an early night! I agree with your husband about Facebook, I have a real love hate relationship with it, but I Instagram will always be my favourite! xx

      • April 10, 2017 / 5:29 pm

        Instagram is my favourite too! Stopping by to say Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

  7. March 31, 2017 / 8:28 pm

    Love this post, it’s all so true. I love Instagram as it offers a snapshot from each day and I like that because I want to remember the really good bits. I suppose we can use the comments and stories to show the real stuff. We’re all doing our best to keep on top of the ironing pile, hoovering and cleaning and yes, other halves definitely don’t help with their dirty cutlery and second wardrobes on the landing – grr!!

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:58 pm

      Haha I’m glad it’s not just my husband. I completely agree though, when I look through someones Instagram I want to see the beautiful photos and the happy memories, but I know that for every happy moment there could be ten more filled with tantrums and spillages and peanut butter encrusted cutlery!! xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:57 pm

      Awww thank you lovely, right back at you! xxx

  8. March 31, 2017 / 8:54 pm

    I loved loved loved this post honey. It is so hard to see through the perfect smiles, tidy corners the photos are taken from and perfectly adorable children though, isn’t it? That’s why I love Instagram stories so much. Since Instagram feeds have become so curated they are so so incredibly ‘fake,’ you can still see a bit of truth and humanity in the stories, when they are not curated themselves (I have no problem unfollowing whoever does a ‘look at me every single aspect of my life is perfect’ kind of Insta story). Social media is a killer hahaha

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:56 pm

      Haha I agree, Instagram stories are a chance to show the real side of life, without tainting our feeds with screaming tantrums and messy homes!! I think most of us are aware that social media isn’t all real, but for those who believe it to be, it must be exhausting to try and compete with!! xx

  9. March 31, 2017 / 9:01 pm

    Adore this post, your last line is everything, we naturally veer towards positivity but it’s funny how assumptions can be made so easily. You and your family are beautiful inside and out xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:52 pm

      Thank you so much Vicki, right back at you! xxx

  10. March 31, 2017 / 9:45 pm

    Laura I am laughing right now because I’ve been having this exact conversation with Renee from Mummy Tries this week. I’m planning in starting #RaisingLittlePeople which is to represent the good and and and ugly side of parenting!

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:52 pm

      Ahh I will most definitely be joining in with that!! xx

  11. March 31, 2017 / 9:52 pm

    Oh Laura – this is brilliant and oh so true. We are all gulity. My photos are generally happy and smiley but if people take the time to read the captions they will get the reality – and so hopefully I’m giving a half truth!

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:52 pm

      Thank you! Yes I’m the same! I may share perfect looking photos but my captions will always tell another story!! xx

  12. March 31, 2017 / 9:52 pm

    Love this Laura and its so true that social media gives us a glossy look at our lives and not all the crap that really goes on either side of that photo xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:51 pm

      Thank you Fran, you can guarantee that there’s a story behind every “perfect” photo, and it’s just about being conscious of that when your own life doesn’t match up. xx

  13. March 31, 2017 / 10:17 pm

    Great post – I agree, perhaps we are all a bit guilty of only sharing the ‘best’ of life. For me, I always find it surprising when people suggest that our lives are exactly as they appear on social media – I would never make that assumption about anyone because surely, we all know that life is just one long string of ups and downs? And surely everyone realises that our homes aren’t always tidy and that we only share the pictures of ourselves and our families that we like the best? Why would you not? Who would want to see my piles of laundry and dirty dishes?! We all have enough of our own! Why would I share a photo of myself or my child looking rough? It would only serve to make me or them feel uncomfortable – possibly even sad – and it certainly wouldn’t bring any happiness to the poor person I’ve inflicted it on! I actually find happiness in seeing those perfect feeds – I find them inspiring and ‘aspirational’. I love nothing more than trawling through a string of ‘picture-perfect’ rooms on instagram. It calms me and gives me all sorts of ideas and food for thought. So, I don’t think you should have to be sorry, that’s just the world of social media. Let’s all just try to remember that we are only ever going to see the best of anyone over there – and what’s so bad about that?! I’m off to check out your instagram feed!!

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:50 pm

      I totally agree, I follow some utterly beautiful feeds where life is very much sunshine and flowers and the children are immaculate and life is wonderful every single day. Do I believe that its true? Not for one moment, but am I grateful for the little escape from the daily grind and the rain outside my window? Absolutely!! xx

  14. April 1, 2017 / 6:37 am

    I really loved this! I get the comments about ‘being a supermum’ etc etc because I have 3 and I do laugh as for example last night we had McDonalds for dinner because I had been too busy to buy any food let alone make it haha. But, what does make me sad is the fact that people feel that IF this life we show was real, that if we had shiny houses and well behaved kids, that we put them to shame. My kids pretty much are well behaved 100% of the time and actually sometimes I feel like I have to pretend they’re not just so I don’t make others feel bad. And that is just as much a lie isn’t it? Why should I be ashamed to have good kids? Silly isn’t it? Really fab post hun, got me thinking xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:48 pm

      You’re so right, and you should never feel that you have to pretend otherwise (god how I wish I had to pretend that my children were naughty!). Being real isn’t just about sharing the hard days, it’s about sharing the good ones too. Thank you for reading. xxx

  15. April 1, 2017 / 8:27 am

    This is great! Love the honesty. 🙂 Especially the part about crafts. We’re not there yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to loathe them too. #PoCoLo

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:47 pm

      Haha thank you Stephanie. You might surprise yourself and enjoy it, to be fair I DO enjoy them, but only when there’s no kids involved!!! xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:46 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Lisa, that’s so kind of you. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:45 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  16. April 1, 2017 / 1:08 pm

    Brilliant post!! I try to keep my Instagram real but I’ll be honest, my stories are much more real than my main feed where the pressure to have a pretty feed is strong! Loved your honesty in this.

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:44 pm

      I totally agree Nyomi, my Instagram stories give a much more accurate account of our lives!! xx

  17. April 1, 2017 / 5:51 pm

    Hi Laura, I love your honesty. It is all too easy to take in what we see on social media without stopping to think that maybe that maybe all is not quite as it seems in the photo. I cannot imagine for one moment that your house is constantly tidy or you don’t have bad hair days, we all do. That would only serve tp make me feel really inferior as I have two grown up children and still battle to stay on top of thing!

    Thank you for your honesty and for linking up with the #MMBC.

    xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 1, 2017 / 8:43 pm

      Thank you Debbie, I think we all live a very different life on our Instagram profiles than real life! If only my house WAS as tidy as it appears to be, and my children were as well behaved!! xx

  18. April 1, 2017 / 9:06 pm

    I guess the ‘filter’ isn’t just the literal sense of the word. We all do it don’t we. The amount of times I have to push everything out of the way when taking a photo in the kitchen I manage to make the kitchen look so spacious and organised when the actual truth is, it’s all cluttered up in the corner out of shot! We all do it. Maybe we should all make the pledge to do it less! Great post as always. #pocolo

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 4:12 pm

      Absolutely!! I have a whole camera roll of photos I never share because there’s clutter in the background! If only our houses were as lovely as we portray them to be! xx

  19. April 1, 2017 / 9:06 pm

    Love this. Social media pictures never capture what life is really like behind the scenes and it still amazes me that some people don’t realise that. I do love all your pictures mind x
    #PoCoLo

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 4:11 pm

      Me too! I feel sad that there are people who believe that others are living the perfect life! xx

  20. April 1, 2017 / 9:39 pm

    I read a lot on what SM is doing to us, and more importantly, our kids. I don’t really understand the pretending everything is perfect thing, but by the same token, who wants to dwell on the negative? So it’s a very thin line on how it gets read….Kind post, you’ve probably made a lot of people feel better! #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 4:11 pm

      I agree, nobody wants to sit and scroll through a whole long list of tantrumming kids and messy houses, but I think there is a happy medium where we share a little of both. xx

  21. April 2, 2017 / 7:07 am

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, the World need so much more of this!!

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 4:10 pm

      Ahh thank you so much! xx

  22. April 2, 2017 / 11:17 am

    Totally love this post! Social media is a strange beast. We only show what we want and can cover up a multitude of sins. I look forward to your real photos & think its lovely you’ve shared with us your normal life amongst the shiny posed made for instgram shots. #kcacols lifeinthemumslane

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 4:09 pm

      Thank you Emma, I think the majority of us know how social media works, it’s just important to be honest about it for those who haven’t worked it out yet! xx

  23. April 2, 2017 / 9:22 pm

    Thanks for your honesty! It’s always interesting to see how many people really do take social media as a representation of someone’s life whereas usually it’s the best photos we use etc. I tend to dwell on happy times, days out and crafts on my blog and one of my friend’s asked me why I was trying to pretend to be a “perfect mum” on my blog – I’m so not! I just focus on the good stuff. Does make me wonder if I should put more crappy stuff on social media but then that’s not really where I want to focus my time. Tricky!

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:53 pm

      That’s so insulting though isn’t it, when friends comment and act as though we are pretending to be something we’re not. I think it’s important to focus on the positives, but I do intend to share a few more real photos to break up the perfect ones. It’s just about finding a balance and being honest, it is tricky though! xx

  24. April 3, 2017 / 1:24 am

    I literally want to jump into your arms and hug you right now. This is one of my favorite posts I have ever read! Yaaaaaaas girl yaaaaaaaa!

    #eatsleepblogrt

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:51 pm

      Awww Kristin, I’m taking that cyber hug and squeezing you right back. You’re so lovely, thank you. xx

  25. April 3, 2017 / 6:29 am

    I can’t like this post enough! It’s so great to offer disclosure on social media. you’re right, it’s such a tiny snap shop, but I think we all get lulled into believing it at times, and as they say ‘comparing someone else’s highlights reel with our behind the scenes’. A brilliant post

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:50 pm

      Thank you so much. I think we are all guilty of editing our lives on social media but the important thing is just disclosing that and saying actually, our lives aren’t this perfect all the time but we’d all much rather share gorgeous photos than snotty, tantrumming kids! xx

  26. April 3, 2017 / 9:23 am

    This is all so true and probably everyone reading it could have written something very similar. If you treat social media and a blog as the highlights reel then it makes it easier I think. I have never woken up in the middle of the night for a pee and flicked v signs at my sleeping family after a particular frustrating day as I pad back to bed. Not me. No.

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:47 pm

      Haha exactly but you would never take a photo of that and share it on Instagram, would you?!! xx

      • April 7, 2017 / 11:21 am

        Absolutely not. Back again from #stayclassymama

  27. April 3, 2017 / 9:51 am

    Such a lovely honest post. I got really confused over Instagram, when I joined I took it literally, Instagram…instant photo. I thought it was a platform for sharing those little pics that you take in everyday life and wanted to share so others could see too. Then I noticed how beautiful most photo’s were, how edited, how definitely not Instant! The truth is, it’s hard to share what’s ‘real’ and what we want people to think is real.
    As a mum of five I can fully understand why you feel this way. x
    #postsfromtheheart

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:44 pm

      That’s definitely how Instagram started out, and the intention of it, but over time it has become a platform to share beautifully stylised photographs that don’t reflect realty at all! I try to caption my photos in a way to share that although my photo looks perfect, the story behind it isn’t! xx

  28. April 3, 2017 / 11:15 am

    Such an honest post! It’s so difficult with social media to remember that they’re just snapshots rather than a true image. #marvmondays

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:42 pm

      Thank you. I feel sad that anyone would think it was all real, that must be hard to try to compete with! xx

  29. April 3, 2017 / 11:25 am

    Well said – it can be easy to forget that what we see on people’s social media fees is a carefully curated view of their lives. Many of us don’t share the photos of when we look exhausted, or our house is a mess, or our children are throwing a tantrum, But it happens. Of course it does. #MarvMondays

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:42 pm

      Thank you. I think it’s okay not to share those photos, as long as we acknowledge that they exist. I would much rather scroll through a happy, positive feed, but I do know that it’s not completely truthful, and that’s okay. xx

  30. April 3, 2017 / 11:46 am

    Love this post – so refreshing. People often say to me ‘you look so well!’ I always reply ‘it’s all make-up!’ Haha. Thank goodness for concealer! #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:40 pm

      Haha exactly, bet they wouldn’t say the same if they saw us first thing in the morning! xx

  31. April 3, 2017 / 2:41 pm

    I do love your photos, and your kids always look so angelic, but I like this post as a reminder to us all that SM distorts the truth and can hide the reality behind the photos we choose to share. #GlobalBlogging

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:38 pm

      Thank you so much. My photos are not representative of my children’s daily melt downs at all – but who wants to look at that? xx

  32. April 3, 2017 / 2:50 pm

    I love this post hun. I think Instagram is the worst for showing a “perfect” life when really we all have ups and downs. We just don’t share the downs as much. I had issues with Instagram to start with, partly for this reason (and partly for the follow/no follow thing!! argh!) but I’m now appreciating it for what it is, nice pics. Not reality, just nice pics! I have ranted/cried in my IG stories safe in the knowledge it will be deleted after 24 hours!! Your feed is beautiful though and one of my favs xx #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:37 pm

      Ahh thank you Susie. I think that’s exactly how to approach Instagram, to just take it as nice photos that aren’t completely representative of our day to day lives. I filter out the tears and tantrums but I do include them in my captions, just to try to balance out the pretty pics. Thank you for a lovely comment. xxx

  33. April 3, 2017 / 2:59 pm

    YES!! This is exactly it!!! We’re all guilty of it but I suppose in your mind you take for granted that people know there’s a bit of life editing goes on behind the scenes, but maybe we don’t and often do envy lives we see on social media, which probably aren’t even real #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:35 pm

      Absolutely. I assumed that everyone was “in on the fact” that Instagram isn’t completely real, but perhaps some people missed the memo! It’s important to remember that nobody’s life is THAT perfect! xx

  34. Karen
    April 3, 2017 / 3:07 pm

    Ha! Brilliant post…Me & Tim call each other knob head too!

    • Laura Dove
      April 3, 2017 / 3:34 pm

      Haha I think it’s a term of endearment! xx

  35. April 3, 2017 / 4:08 pm

    One of my all time favorite posts Laura!

    Thanks for linking up at #globalblogging

  36. Nige
    April 3, 2017 / 4:20 pm

    Love this it’s my life I hate crafts emily thankfully loves doing it yes our house is a bomb site cleaning up after kids is something I do in my sleep no wait a minute I don’t get sleep what’s that my 18 year old struggles to pick a cup up to drink from it let alone take it back to the kitchen he is a lazy sod lol brilliant as always Laura #globalbllgging

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 6:11 pm

      Haha thanks Nige! My husband sounds like your son, ha! It’s relentless with children, young and old, and I love that having read all of the comments on this post I’m not the only one who feels this way! If only our lives were as perfect as they appear to be! xx

  37. April 3, 2017 / 7:16 pm

    Hehe this is fab! I hate crafting and baking with my big 2 they make such a mess!! #kcacols xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 6:08 pm

      Ugh it really is a messy, tedious task!! xx

  38. April 3, 2017 / 7:53 pm

    I love this post and the honesty behind it. I think we often get caught up in social media of fellow bloggers and wonder why our lives aren’t like that – but the show reel of our lives are just like that also. #marvmondays

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 6:08 pm

      Thank you Jade. I agree, before I discovered that Instagram wasn’t real, I used to feel the same!! It’s kind of nice to know that we are all in the same boat! xx

  39. April 3, 2017 / 7:57 pm

    OK I’m going to try and not gush at you now but this is honestly one of the greatest blog posts I think I’ve ever read. I must admit that I too have admired your stunning IG feed and thought that your life is like a beautiful fairy-tale. Your photos are always stunning and your children are too cute for words, but it is reassuring to know that you too have dusty skirting boards. #peanutbutterspoongate will stick in my mind forever now – in a good way haha! (In our house its #emptymilkbottlegate – Just put it in the effing bin husband!! No you do not need to leave half a tea-spoon full in the bottom and just open a new one because you “don’t like to mix milk as it might be from different cows!” Yes seriously.) There should be an IG feed for this stuff too! Brilliantly written. #mg x

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 6:07 pm

      Ahh thank you so much! That is such a lovely and generous thing to say, I really do appreciate that. #emptymilkbottlegate sounds horrendous, what is wrong with our men?? Saying that, after reading this post Gaz was filled with claims of slander and said perhaps he will write a list of all of my bad habits (I’m sure there are none…haha!), and so our “perfect marriage” continues, ha! It’s so hard to juggle a marriage, the kids, our sanity, our jobs, and I think sometimes we need a way to escape with our beautiful Instagram photos where we can only hope that one day, our lives will be as perfect as we claim they are on social media! Thanks again. xxxxxx

      • April 6, 2017 / 5:43 pm

        You’re absolutely right lovely, I think we’ve earned that escape. It’ll be so much nicer for us to look back on and remember all the best bits when the kids are older too. Thank you so much for sharing this with #DreamTeam xx

  40. April 3, 2017 / 9:04 pm

    Love this post too. I’m sure that clothes mountain and all the other things you’ve mention happen in other people’s houses too right? #PoCoLo

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 6:03 pm

      Hahah I’m sure they do, although our clothes mountain is set to rival Everest, I think it could win world records! xx

  41. April 3, 2017 / 9:09 pm

    Good grief, my Instagram is so different from my real life it’s ridiculous! Social media is one big lie and it still surprises me that there are still people that don’t realise that! #postsfromtheheart

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 6:03 pm

      I know!! I always feel sad that people think that it’s real, it must be very hard to try to live up to that level of perfection! xx

  42. April 4, 2017 / 3:38 am

    I think we all spend so much time pretending that we have it together, but it is just that pretending. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 6:01 pm

      Yep definitely, I like to think it’s a case of fake it ’til you make it! Ha! xx

  43. April 4, 2017 / 3:40 am

    Love love love this. I never feel like you are being fake on Instagram, yes your pictures are beautiful but you always share in the captions if the kids have been playing up/you feel rubbish etc. I try to do the same, I don’t really want my feed full of pictures of washing up or the kids crying but I will write about it in the captions if I’m having a tough day. I don’t think should feel ‘put to shame’ by an instagram picture as a photo is just one moment in time, it doesn’t tell the full story.xx #pocolo

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 6:01 pm

      Thank you Wendy. You’re right, that’s what I always try to do. If I share a perfect photo, I will always add in the caption the reality of the shot, but clearly not everyone reads those captions! As a blogger I feel a sense of responsibility to be honest in my posts, and on my social media and although some days are wonderful, other days are far from it!! xx

      • April 8, 2017 / 3:47 pm

        Back again from #BlogCrush..this post was linked as someone’s favourite, congrats!xx

  44. I love this. I think we all have a responsibility to assume what we see is just a picture and that behind it is normal life! Every child, even the most well behaved, has their moments, causes work and makes a mess. Or when it’s not the kids it’s the husband so you point out. You’ve got nothing to apologise for because you may want to show some lovely pictures. And what’s won’t work wanting to document this nice parts of life and letting the less pretty things be consigned to the past?! #MarvMondays

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 5:58 pm

      Thanks Angela. You’re right, I think it’s lovely to focus on the positives and that is what I try to do. On the days when the children have screamed all day and the house is a mess and I’m feeling fed up and exhausted, the last thing I want to see on my social media feeds are photos of the same. I love that I can scroll through beautiful photos that remind me that good days will follow, and offer some relief from the reality of tantrumming children! xx

  45. April 4, 2017 / 10:12 am

    I absolutely loved reading this! Social media can be so misleading sometimes, and it’s nice to hear that everyone goes through the same issues. #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 5:55 pm

      Thank you so much. I love that others can relate! xx

  46. April 4, 2017 / 10:47 am

    Love this post! I have 4 children too (two boys and twin girls) and when I look through my photo’s I imagine people would probably think that we are totally sorted and in control of our life – total myth! Social media can be inspiring, but also a bit depressing in some ways. #Triumphanttales

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 5:55 pm

      Haha yes, complete myth and I do sometimes laugh to myself that anyone assumes four children is anything other than crazy!!! xx

  47. April 4, 2017 / 11:51 am

    My four kids were all tiny in the days before social media, but I used to hear the same comments at church and even in restaurants — total strangers saying, “Your boys are so well behaved. We loved watching you . . .”
    Funny how we all are looking for the perfect family, but few realize that there’s a lot of hashing out conflict and time spent in the ugly in order to foster those tiny moments of peace and tranquility that are so enjoyable to the outside world!

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 5:54 pm

      Absolutely! My childrens teachers/pre-school assistants say the same, they are little angels?! If only they knew!! There is so much more to a happy family than meets the eye! xx

  48. April 4, 2017 / 2:03 pm

    How true! All my food shoots don’t always show the messy mass of dirty crockery and empty packets! Who wants to see that?! Loved your post xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 5:52 pm

      Thank you. You’re right, everyone would much rather see the end result, and it’s the same with the kids. The shot we all want to see is the one that makes us feel all warm and fussy inside, not one of the children throttling eachother! xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 4, 2017 / 5:51 pm

      Haha yes, always move the mess around!! xx

  49. April 4, 2017 / 6:31 pm

    This is so great, pictures only show that tiny piece of a puzzle! #EatSleepBlogRT

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:51 pm

      So true!! The bigger picture is wayyyyy different! xx

  50. April 4, 2017 / 6:46 pm

    Totally agree!! My blog is all about crafts & games that I do with my toddler to help her learn – I do a mini commentary if something was funny or didn’t go quite to plan, but I have never written about how she often has massive meltdowns if her white crayon doesn’t show up on the white paper, watches Peppa Pig on repeat whilst I set things up / tidy up (and often during the activity lol) or how she smacks me round the head with rubber ducks as I try to count them :S xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:50 pm

      Haha yes!!! Why are crafts such hard work with the kids?? I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve threatened to throw it all in the bin or the kids have ended up screaming and crying, and me too!! It’s hard, but it’s way nicer to see photos of the end result rather than the mayhem that inevitably happens in the process! xx

  51. April 4, 2017 / 8:19 pm

    LOVE this post, sums up everything perfectly. Sometimes life online can look all too perfect, but we must realise that it isn’t all true. Instagram stories is great for showing ‘behind the scenes’ lol!

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:49 pm

      Thank you. Yes! I love Instagram stories, it’s a real eye opener!!! xx

  52. April 4, 2017 / 9:31 pm

    Love this Laura. So true, however I don’t look at your instagram and think that your life is perfect at all (I mean that in a nice way) I follow many bloggers who have this picture perfect life but not one do I look at them and think how perfect their life is or how do they do it – i can see beyond the picture. I know being a parent is hard work!! It can be boring, messy, lonely the list goes on.

    I know as a Mummy of 3 that your house is probably very similar to my house, that you are getting as much sleep as me and that you argue with your partner as much as I do. That’s life isn’t it. My instagram shows the good bits of my life because there are lots of happy and good bits I rarely show the mess or the tears but it doesn’t mean I don’t have them. #dreamteam

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:48 pm

      Thank you Natalie. I completely agree, I think as parents we all know that ultimately, nobodies life is perfect, but sometimes I doubt myself thinking, are those children really THAT well behaved all the time? Are they really THAT immaculate day in, day out? And the answer is no, of course they’re not, but we don’t see that side to their lives, and I think sometimes I would like to? I try to show the real side of parenting without going to the extreme of showing my messy house and my grey hairs, it’s just finding the right balance and making sure that as parents, we are all in this together! xx

  53. April 4, 2017 / 11:05 pm

    I always love how candid and honest you are because you are right, we only show what we want to show and when people say you have the perfect life it couldn’t be further from the truth. I think I identify with you because you are real and never try to pretend to be something you are not. I will say that you are a great person and a wonderful mum and you and your partner make a beautiful couple (even if he does drive you crazy!) xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:46 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Ana, that’s such a lovely thing to say. And I totally agree, I hear so much of my own voice when I read your posts, I think being real is such a valuable quality and I am naturally drawn to others who are the same. Thank you again. xxx

  54. April 5, 2017 / 5:02 am

    I’ve been waiting to read this! Finally had time to read while the house is quiet! GREAT post!!! I have to remember that when I feel like I don’t have myself together, that the struggles are the same for other fantastic parents no matter how their IG pics look! xoxo #BigPinkLink

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:45 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Selena. I love that we are all just struggling along together, it’s important to remember that. xxx

  55. April 5, 2017 / 7:08 am

    Haa haa, this is so true, although you always look fab in your photo’s. I have 6 and they either adore each other or fight like cat and dog – there is no happy medium………why is that?

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:45 pm

      Ahh thanks lovely. I love that we are all in the same boat! xx

  56. April 5, 2017 / 9:32 am

    I don’t have kids yet but my flat is a bomb site – I just move things out the way to get the perfect photo haha. Lovely blog post to read!

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:44 pm

      Hahah well I’m glad it’s not just kids! xx

  57. April 5, 2017 / 11:41 am

    That last sentence made me think of a scene in dirty dancing when Baby is apologising for lying to her dad… any blog post that conjures images of Dirty Dancing is a winner in my eyes!! Seriously though, it doesn’t matter how ‘real’ we try to be, it never quite comes across does it?! And I think for a lot of us it’s not because we are trying to fool anyone that our lives are perfect, at from it. The truth is, I don’t want my crap-hole house on display for all to see, because of my own sense of pride! I don’t want people to see my beautiful little girl in trackies that are too short and an old stained t-shirt (what we wear to craft in!) because of my own sense of pride! But just for the record, it really does seem like your doing a stellar job!! #BloggerClubUK

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:42 pm

      Haha well I do love Dirty Dancing!! That’s the same as me, I think a lot of it IS down to pride, and it’s not like we set out to deceive anyone, it’s just sharing the best moments of our lives instead of the worst. Thanks for reading lovely, and thank you. xxx

  58. April 5, 2017 / 12:14 pm

    I have said before that everything on my feed is real, it is but I also always say it is only the pretty things I share on Instagram. Instagram is where I like to share my pretty moments, it is lovely to look back on all my pics and remember those picture perfect moments. I also like looking at other peoples pretty pics, I don’t think their whole life is perfect, but I just happen to like pretty pictures. Funnily enough I don’t feel the same about Facebook though, I think maybe that feels more fake somehow to me. To me Insta is like a photo album where I keep my fav pics. Is my life perfect, well in a way yes, it is perfect because it is NORMAL, it is chaotic, messy, funny, painful, loving and all the inbetweens, it is perfectly real. I am a normal person (whatever normal is) I have 3 kids 12 and under, I have 3 dogs, cats and I breed bunnies, so there is loads of mess, but I am OK with that. I have anxiety, I have a bad back, I am tired, but I am grateful and blessed. You are so real, everything you share is so real, so don’t apologise, you are sharing your real life just as I am, just the pretty pictures are nicer to look at. And by the way I still think you are an amazing mum for letting them craft at all, I HATE craft lol, and my kids love it, so annoying! I am just lucky now Aspen understand when she bakes she cleans up too. #mg

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:40 pm

      Ahh thank you Mac, I love the idea of Insta being a photo album of your favourite photos, that’s so true. I agree Facebook is way more fake to me, I have a real love hate relationship with it these days and if it wasn’t for my blog I would come off it altogether I think! Oh and as for the crafts? It’s hard work, we did crafts this morning and it was lovely because there was only Eva, but when there’s more than one child involved it really is hell!! xx

  59. April 5, 2017 / 12:30 pm

    Haha im utterly exhausted just reading this Laura! And as for those glasses and the peanut butter!… #bloggerclubuk

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:38 pm

      I KNOW!! Divorce material I’m sure! xx

  60. April 5, 2017 / 12:50 pm

    Love this. To be honest, you’ve pinpointed the reason why I have a tense relationship with Instagram. It can be fun when I’m interacting with people, but there is so much unapologetically fake stuff on it too. But I’ve always read your blog and know that you keep it real, and that you are a very skilled photographer. It makes sense to crop out washing mountains because they don’t make pretty pictures, and of course you are going to highlight the happy moments because those are the ones you most want to remember. Thanks for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT. Hope you join again next week.

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:38 pm

      Thank you so much. I think that’s the most important thing for me, that my photos reflect my reality whilst being nice to look at. I tend to go with a nice photo and an honest caption. It kind of balances out! I’m so glad so many people can relate to this! xx

  61. April 5, 2017 / 1:33 pm

    Absolutely loved this post, you hit many nails on the head. I have enormous struggles if photos are required in my house! Lovely to have you linking. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:37 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. I tend to go with, stand against that wall, the only wall without crap infront of it! xx

  62. April 5, 2017 / 2:34 pm

    Yes, yes yes! Could not have put it better myself! Our IG life is very different to our real life, and I also have to pick an area of the room which looks clear – or even just shove everything to one side so it doesnt look so bad! Well said lovely lady, well said x #MarvMondays

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:36 pm

      Haha I’m so glad I’m not the only one whose house isn’t pristine! xx

  63. April 5, 2017 / 3:00 pm

    I love your post, very nice. I also enjoyed reading the comments section.

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:35 pm

      Thanks lovely xxx

  64. April 5, 2017 / 6:46 pm

    I love this post. It is so perfect!!!! So many people believe Instagram and images and think we have it all together and we really don’t. We just like to show the nice stuff. I have comments like this all the time. Especially when I went travelling for 6 weeks with my 2 year old. They were all under the impression everyday was so much fun, but behind every picture was a tantrum or an ‘I don’t want to walk’ or a an ice cream bribe. xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:34 pm

      Yes!! It always shocks me when I realise that people think our lives are perfect every single day. Yes there are lovely moments, but there are also hellish moments whilst living in squalor! xx

  65. April 5, 2017 / 8:07 pm

    Oh I love this! It’s so true, my house is a bombsite 95% of the time. All I do is just push everything to the side if I want a nice photo! We are all pretty good at fooling people, I’m pretty sure nobody has a picture perfect home with children around! #TriumphantTales

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:32 pm

      Haha I’m so glad that it’s not just me!! xxx

  66. April 5, 2017 / 8:08 pm

    Such a beautifully written, honest post. You’ve just given me a reality check that I am doing ok #dreamteam

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:32 pm

      Ahh thank you Michelle. xxx

  67. April 5, 2017 / 8:32 pm

    Ha ha ha – love the last photo! You are spot on about social media – and IG in particular – it’s actually what I love about it – that it brings a little fluffiness, sparkle and idealism to my day. We all know to take it with a HUGE pinch of salt. As long as the blog posts have the reality in them – which your’s always do – nobody is being fake or false – it’s just the ‘pretty’ side of family life and we all need to see that sometimes don’t we?! xx #globalblogging xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:32 pm

      I completely agree. It’s a lovely way to escape and just look at lovely, beautiful and positive images, even though we all know that it’s not real! I always make sure that my captions are “real”, so I may post a perfect photo but I’ll share the tantrums behind it. I reassure myself that that way, I’m doing okay! xxx

  68. April 5, 2017 / 8:57 pm

    This made me smile, of course real life isn’t as perfect as the life we choose to show online. If that were the case there would be a drought in Cornwall as 90% of my photos are taken on sunny days! Usually that’s only 1 or 2 days a week in reality. #BloggerClubUK

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:29 pm

      Haha yes, we never share the torrential rain or the grey and gloomy days!! We are all guilty of it, but it makes for some lovely photos!! xx

  69. April 5, 2017 / 10:16 pm

    Wow. Great post. I do the bulldozer sweep for photos too. My house is also a disaster most of the time.

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:28 pm

      I’m so glad it’s not just me! xx

  70. April 5, 2017 / 10:57 pm

    Thats the curse of social media, we are all naturally programmed to want to show the best side of ourselves and thus its easy to present a slightly misleading image. I do it myself with my health more so than my home (which im never brave enough to photograph) presenting only the good days and not the bad. #bigpinklink

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:27 pm

      I do the same with my health too! Very few people realise what I have been going through health wise, it always comes as a shock when I do share the bad days. I hope you have more good days than bad. xx

  71. April 6, 2017 / 6:41 am

    Fab post Laura, I think we all do the same but sometimes we doubt if other people do too or if their life really is that perfect!

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:25 pm

      Thank you Kerry. I refuse to believe that anyone’s lie is THAT perfect!! xx

  72. April 6, 2017 / 11:35 am

    Love this post. I think all of us on Social Media, especially Instagram, tend to show the nicer side of our lives and leave the realness of our lives out. I’m guilty of it, I’ll admit that. But it’s refreshing to read someone tell it like it is. #BloggerClubUk

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:24 pm

      Thank you Cath. It’s something we all do, but not everyone admits to. There’s nothing wrong with sharing the highlights but I think we should be aware that that is all they are – tiny moments of a day that was filled with just as many boring, mundane ones! xx

  73. April 6, 2017 / 1:18 pm

    Fantastic post Laura! We are all guilty of looking at other peoples social media and assuming they must have a perfect life. Instagram would look like a very different place if we posted reality though. #brilliantblogposts

    • Laura Dove
      April 6, 2017 / 2:23 pm

      Thank you Caroline. I don’t think Instagram would be quite as visually appealing if we shared the truth!! xx

  74. April 7, 2017 / 8:40 am

    Laura this is such an amazing post! I’m guilty of always looking at peoples Instagram pictures – yours included – and thinking they have a perfect life. I know it’s just a snippet from a moment in time, when the rest of the day could have been complete and utter chaos, but it’s so hard not to compare your life to others, even if it’s based on one pic that couldn’t be farther from the truth about their reality! Great post.

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 1:53 pm

      Ahh thank you Fi. I feel the same way about yours and although I know that behind every beautiful photo things aren’t always as they appear, it’s easy to forget though isn’t it? I look at some feeds and wonder how they always look so amazing? How their homes are so tidy? And their children so well behaved? I bet they never refer to their husband as a Nob head at all!! xx

  75. April 7, 2017 / 9:06 am

    Love this post. It’s so easy to the posed photos on Social Media and compare that to our not-even-barely perfect reality.
    We should all make a pact to post ‘real’ photos too.
    #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 1:51 pm

      Can you imagine? Even if just for one day only we shared the real side of parenting! God I’d be mortified by some of our real photos….but it would be fun to see everyone elses!! xx

  76. April 7, 2017 / 10:46 am

    Wow you have just told the story of my life! Well done and thank you! I have four children too, and I can relate to EVERYTHING you wrote. Still, I am not sure about sharing more ‘real’ pictures on social media. I have read posts from mum bloggers sharing a lot of their family lives (mostly on Snapchat), down to the nitty gritty, and getting lots of abuse and trolling for it. Something I wouldn’t be prepared to endure in the name of ‘real-ness’. It’s a fine line… x
    #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 1:49 pm

      Thanks Annette, I’m so glad you can relate. I agree, there is a fine line absolutely! I think it’s just about finding the right balance, I much prefer to look at beautiful photos than to look at a messy house and tantrumming children – I see enough of those here at home!! Being real is very important to me but always within reason, it’s a tough call isn’t it? xx

  77. April 7, 2017 / 10:50 am

    This is just such a true thing – we do all share the best of the best and it skews the reality of real life. I’m not very good with Instagram in that my photos are probably not as pretty and perfect as they are meant to be, but they are real life!!

    I do have to say though, I think you are such an incredible person and really are a role model to me with everything you go through and everything you cope with. So as much as I’m sure you are not perfect, don’t downplay what an amazing person you are! xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 1:47 pm

      Ahh thank you so much, that is such a lovely thing to say and always appreciated. I try to show all aspects of parenting but given the choice between filling my Instagram with beautiful photos of the children or tantrumming toddlers and my bomb site of a kitchen, I’m always going to go with the more visually appealing!! I think it’s just important to remind people once in a while that Instagram is just a tiny snapshot of a bigger picture, and that’s not always a pretty one!! xxx

  78. April 7, 2017 / 11:16 am

    I love your photos, and your blog. It’s clear to see from the combination of the two that life is busy! As a a parent I know too well it can take 20 shots to get one of them both smiling. Or 2 seconds after the shot there’s an epic meltdown. But I do think Social Media can talk to our insecurities. I find it really hard reading about things my friends toddlers have said because my son has a speech delay. At the same time I love reading them! But I also know you can’t filter your life for fear of offending someone. I think everyone should keep it real. Show the good and the bad. The beautiful and the ugly. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics Laura.

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 1:44 pm

      Thank you Claire. I agree, I think it definitely fuels insecurity, I often look at peoples immaculate homes and feel as though I am living in squalor, or wonder why my children aren’t as well behaved as others. I think having a blog is a great way to share every aspect of life, even when your Instagram doesn’t show the same. I try to make sure that my captions to my photographs are very real, and Insta stories is fab for showing the less than perfect parts of our day! Thanks for hosting Claire. xxx

  79. April 7, 2017 / 11:36 am

    Brilliant post! Sometimes social media can portray us all in the ‘perfect life’, but we only share our best bits online don’t we! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 1:41 pm

      Thanks Emily, we all do it, I just worry that we don’t all realise that others do it too!! xx

  80. April 7, 2017 / 12:12 pm

    And this is the danger of social media for so many. Lots of people fail to realize or remember that just because it *looks* like everyone else has perfect lives, they are likely only posting the GOOD moments of life…Because who wants to see someone else’s kid throwing a fit? lol That being said, I’m all for realism: Leave that pile of clothes or toys scattered everywhere in the background, at least once. It reminds others that we’re all trying to stay afloat in this parenthood thing. 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 1:40 pm

      Absolutely, I think that is the danger and that’s why there is so much pressure on people these days to live up to the lives we see on social media. I am definitely going to be leaving a few more “real” shots in my feed, although after a week at home with three spotty children, my house has never been so messy. I’m not sure Instagram is ready for that!!! xx

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 1:38 pm

      Hahah oh yes it will! xx

  81. April 7, 2017 / 4:42 pm

    I always love your photos but yes my life is chaotic and my house is very often messy lol. Loved this post x

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 9:53 pm

      Thank you! It’s good to know I’m not the only one!! xx

  82. April 7, 2017 / 7:30 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for quite a while now but I don’t think I’ve ever left a comment but I couldn’t leave this post without commenting thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It’s so easy to look at someones photos and think that they have everything together. When in fact none of us do! #MarvMondays

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 9:51 pm

      Ahh thank YOU Liane, it’s so lovely to hear that so many people can relate to this post, it means so much to me to know that I’m not alone in tackling Clothes Mountain and dealing with tantrumming children! I’m not sure that ANYONE has it all together, and if they do, I want to know their secret! xx

  83. Joana at Mind The Mummy
    April 7, 2017 / 8:33 pm

    This is so refreshing to read I literally feel like I had just had a shower 🙂 I think we all are you and the ones of us who aren’t either have assistants or have alien children who don’t move, eat or have tantrums. And if I could just have one wish in this entire world it would be for the Clothes Mountain to relocate to another continent along with its bestie, the laundry basket. Hang in there, mama, you’re one of us. PS: The hunt for the concealer that will hide dark circles known only to parents, continues. I sense a market gap 🙂 #fridayfrolics

    • Laura Dove
      April 7, 2017 / 9:48 pm

      Hahah this comment made me laugh out loud, thank you so much! I’m so glad that there are other Mums out there trying to tackle Clothes Mountain (don’t even get me started on the laundry basket!!) and living in hope of the miracle concealer. I feel like other Mums may have discovered it, but then I realise they just found a kick ass filter just like I did, haha! Thank you so much for reading. xxx

  84. April 8, 2017 / 4:19 pm

    I love this post! I adore Instagram but we all need to remember that it is only one tiny snapshot from someone’s day. Our lives can appear perfect in that tiny square but no one really knows what is going on outside of that square. I love your feed and you might have a stunning feed but you are also honest with it. Keep being you lovely! 🙂 #FridayFrolics

    • Laura Dove
      April 8, 2017 / 5:02 pm

      Thank you Emma. It’s very easy to forget sometimes though, especially when we are feeling down or the kids are playing up and it feels as though everyone is living the perfect life. Thank you again for such a lovely comment. xxx

  85. April 8, 2017 / 9:01 pm

    Just popping over again from Twinkly Tuesday! I still love this post! Thanks so much for linking up 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      April 9, 2017 / 2:45 pm

      Thanks Lisa xxx

  86. April 8, 2017 / 9:02 pm

    Popping back! Thank you for linking up to #TriumphantTales, please do come back next week!

    • Laura Dove
      April 9, 2017 / 2:45 pm

      I’ll be back for certain! xx

  87. April 8, 2017 / 9:12 pm

    Rose gold is just divine isn’t it? These are all utterly beautiful! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  88. Nige
    April 9, 2017 / 6:44 am

    Thanks for poppin over Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    • Laura Dove
      April 9, 2017 / 2:43 pm

      Thanks Nige, see you next week! xx

  89. April 9, 2017 / 2:11 pm

    I love all your posts, but perhaps this one resonated with me a little too well. Sometimes on social media we are all a little too good at putting on a show, or perhaps more accurately showing only the side of our lives we want to be seen. Everything you write here is very true of us. One day maybe I will manage the tidy glamorous house and lack of chaos, but until then there is always the mess free corner. Thank you for sharing this with us at #PostsFromTheHeart and making us all feel a little more human.

    • Laura Dove
      April 9, 2017 / 2:41 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. It has been so lovely to receive so many comments that reminded me we are all in this together. Even the people whose lives are seemingly perfect have confessed that their house isn’t quite as immaculate as they would lead us to believe, or their children not quite as well behaved as they portray them to be. It’s only natural to only want to share the good parts of our lives, but it’s quite sad too that we perhaps feel we would be judged for sharing the worst parts. One day I will share Clothes mountain, or the moments when the children are tearing eachothers hair out…one day! xxx

  90. April 9, 2017 / 8:03 pm

    That’s the problem with social media isn’t it, you assume that everyone else’s lives are perfect based on a few little squares! I just try to remember that I don’t post photos of tantrums, my messy house, or my eye bags so why would anyone else! #stayclassymama

    • Laura Dove
      April 10, 2017 / 1:30 pm

      Yep, I think that’s what we have to realise. We are all editing our lives to some extent and that’s fine, but its important to bear that in mind when we think that other people are living the perfect life when we’re not! xx

  91. April 9, 2017 / 10:02 pm

    Oh I love this! It’s something I’ve touched upon quite often on the blog (and I actually have another post sitting in drafts). It’s so true that our lives are filtered nowadays. I always maintain that we could wear the same outfit twice before the days of Facebook!! But anyway, you don’t need me to tell you again that you are one of my favourite Instagramers, so you can happily keep fooling me… #BlogCrush

    • Laura Dove
      April 10, 2017 / 1:28 pm

      Haha yes! I recently wore a dress to a wedding that I had worn to a previous wedding, and a friend did say “Oh everyone will see on facebook that you wore it twice!” – as though we are celebrities being papped in the same outfit! It’s crazy, and as much as I love social media I loathe it in other ways! And thank you so much, that’s lovely of you to say so. xxx

  92. April 9, 2017 / 11:12 pm

    Seems like everyone thinks everyone else has life figured out. Social media is simply misleading! I would love to see pictures of tantrums:)
    #TriumphantTales

    • Laura Dove
      April 10, 2017 / 1:27 pm

      Haha I’m not sure you would, they aren’t pretty!! I am definitely going to share a few more of them though! xx

  93. April 10, 2017 / 6:06 am

    All I know is that parenting is hard work! And I am constantly impressed with those that have more than two children! Thanks for sharing, your post acts as a reminder to us all that social media is definitely not the full picture of someone’s life! And I’m impressed you have a clean corner in your house, I tend to go for the tight crop! Thanks for sharing with us #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      April 10, 2017 / 1:26 pm

      Thanks Sarah. Haha trust me, there’s only one clean corner, and even that isn’t as clean as some peoples standards! xx

  94. April 10, 2017 / 7:09 am

    Laura this post is fantastic. We’ve all thought these things or got pangs of jealousy at someone else’s feed/life so thanks for the wake up call of honesty! You are brill x

    • Laura Dove
      April 10, 2017 / 1:25 pm

      Thanks Kimberly, you’re so lovely. xxx

  95. April 10, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    This is such a brilliant post! I love your honesty (and I think it’s what we’re all like really). I don’t think we really mean to pull the wool over people’s eyes, it’s just that the memories we want to remember and cherish and share are the happy ones. We don’t take photos when everyone is screaming at each other and the house is filled with mess. What a fabulous post! #blogcrush

    • Laura Dove
      April 11, 2017 / 12:44 pm

      Thank you Lucy! I agree, I think we would all just rather look at happy photos as opposed to the miserable ones! When we are overwhelmed by our washing basket and spending our days refereeing whiny kids, why would we want to look at anyone else doing the same?! xx

  96. April 10, 2017 / 9:27 pm

    When I first started blogging I was all about “being real” but sometimes it pisses yourself off and you want a nice photo that gives a “perfect” perception rather than one that highlights the absolute wreck you’ve become since motherhood happened! hahaha.
    Thank you for linking up to #TriumphantTales, I hope to see you again tomorrow!

    • Laura Dove
      April 11, 2017 / 12:40 pm

      Yep I agree. I think we all find our own balance between being real and having a pretty Instagram feed!! I keep my blog very real, but my Instagram I do edit so that even on the bad days, I share a photo to make me smile, but then I write that in the caption. It’s just about being aware that if we aren’t sharing the bad parts, nobody else is either! xx

  97. April 11, 2017 / 8:19 am

    Brilliant post! Whenever I feel inadequate of the wonderful lives people post online I just look at my own Insta and think of all the moments I haven’t shared (like fishing a poo out of the bath last night 🤢)

    I agree that when you’re looking back 15 years from now it’s the good memories you want to treasure (along with the hilarious ones!) life is hard enough without having to see daily reminders of the more gruelling sides every time you log in. I’m all for a bit of social media escapism!

    I love reading your posts, especially where you talk about Joseph 💙

    #TwinklyTuesdays

    • Laura Dove
      April 11, 2017 / 12:37 pm

      Thank you so much Laura, that’s so kind of you to say. I think that’s how we have to look at it, if we aren’t sharing the bad days, then why would anyone else? I much prefer to zone out and look at pretty pictures on Instagram, but I don’t for one minute believe that they are a true representation of other peoples lives! And ohhh the poo in the bath? It’s happened to us all! xxx

  98. April 11, 2017 / 9:32 am

    This is beautifully written…. Authentic and honest Voice.
    Love you loads

    • Laura Dove
      April 11, 2017 / 12:34 pm

      Thank you so much, that’s so lovely of you to say. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      April 14, 2017 / 4:31 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  99. April 11, 2017 / 4:50 pm

    Social media is all an image isn’t it? I get comments like this from friends without kids and I have to laugh because they have no idea what goes on behind the scenes! To be fair you do look great in that photo (I’m sure without the filter too) however I do love a good filter lol. Thanks so much for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    • Laura Dove
      April 14, 2017 / 4:29 pm

      Ahh thank you, I love a good filter, but then don’t we all? xxx

  100. April 13, 2017 / 7:07 am

    We certainly all do this Laura. I push aside furniture to make my tiny flat look bigger and tidier, I plan where I know will make a good backdrop before we even go out….. I add filter after filter if I am in a picture….
    Hence the name of my blog Kippers and Curtains – looking like you’re keeping up with the Jones’ – whilst in reality you’re probably eating kippers at home. Sarah #sharingthebloglove

    • Laura Dove
      April 14, 2017 / 4:15 pm

      And yet I would never have guessed that from your photos, it’s funny isn’t it? I love that we can all be honest and admit that our lives on social media are one big façade, but I still love to look at the photos that make me believe that one day, I too will have a tidy home and perfectly behaved children!! xx

  101. April 13, 2017 / 10:37 am

    I think it’s just human nature to naturally do this. Who wants to see all the mess that’s in my house and the kids fighting? #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      April 14, 2017 / 4:12 pm

      I know! I don’t want to see everyones mess when I can look at my own, haha! xx

  102. April 13, 2017 / 7:56 pm

    Absolutely love this! And it’s so funny, because we all do it, yet I think on some level we all still fall for it too! I let myself believe that other people’s lives are as perfect as they seem to be on instagram! x #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      April 14, 2017 / 4:08 pm

      Yes me too! I know it’s not real, but still a part of me wishes my house was as tidy or my children as well behaved!! xx

  103. April 14, 2017 / 2:28 am

    Gosh, I’ve never really thought of that before, but I suppose I almost exclusively post saccharine sweet pictures on Facebook. I’ve admitted to my many faults (and that of my children) in my blog but on Facebook, life is perfect! I must resolve to show my life more honestly…..

    Thanks for the thought-provoking post!
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      April 14, 2017 / 4:07 pm

      I’m the same, my blog is warts and all, but my social media, and Instagram especially, is very much picture perfect! xx

  104. April 14, 2017 / 9:16 am

    Maybe it’s because I’m a photographer, I don’t think I’ve ever assumed that people’s highlight reel on Instagram is anything other than the bits they are prepared to show. I know perfectly well that 90% is behind the scenes and won’t be shown because it’s not the right look. However this has made me realise that people may be judging me differently than how I imagined. I need to give this some thought! #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Laura Dove
      April 14, 2017 / 4:05 pm

      I think that’s what surprised me, I assumed that everyone was aware that Instagram, and social media in general, was just the highlights, but I think many genuinely believe that it represents our daily lives and it can make them feel as though they don’t quite match up. Social media has a lot to answer for! xx

  105. April 14, 2017 / 7:22 pm

    Love it!

    Real life is messy and untidy. And I am sure very few of us live the ever tidy, ever smiling lives we show online.

    #BlogCrush

    • Laura Dove
      April 14, 2017 / 8:12 pm

      Thank you. You’re right, Id love to see behind the scenes of those perfect Instagram feeds, just once!! xx

  106. April 18, 2017 / 9:34 pm

    Rhyming Dawn, directed me here and I’m so glad she did! This is brilliant!!! – but I still think you’re gorgeous 😉
    I WAS fooled by the carefully placed vignette around your daughter that filtered out the detritus of life!!

    Ha! I love the bit about the Peanut butter spoon. For me it’s the bl**dy shoes in the hallway!!!!! We have a sideboard in the hallway with boxes in for shoes. We have a Bleeping shoe cupboard in the hallway for goodness sakes!!!!! A shoe cupboard! How hard can it be to put them in there!!!!!!! Mine are in there! We also have a cupboard under the stairs with rows and rows of coat hooks for coats so why the POOP do you hang your Bloomin’ coats over the end of the stairs!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!

    Flush the chain!
    Wash your hands!
    Brush your teeth!
    Don’t leave the damp towel on the floor of the bathroom, people!!!!

    What do you think I am? Your mother?….

    And breathe…

    • Laura Dove
      April 19, 2017 / 12:36 pm

      Hahahaha this made me laugh out loud!! How funny, I totally relate to all of those things, how hard can it be?? That said, if my husband was to write a list I’m sure there would be so many things on there that I am not aware I do, although I don’t even like peanut butter so there would be no peanut butter spoon issues to write about!! Thank you for coming over to read, I’m a huge fan of Dawn and it was an honour that she linked to my post. xxx

      • April 19, 2017 / 10:19 pm

        Ah, Dawn’s rhymes are amazing! What a talent!

  107. April 21, 2017 / 3:07 pm

    I think we’re all a little guilty of this at times. It’s so easy to try to get the best photo, placing the kids in “just the right spot”. It is also easy to believe that someone else’s life is so perfect compared to our own. We all need to realise we’re all trying the best we can and just because something looks perfect doesn’t mean there aren’t cracks. Good for you for writing this hun.
    Thanks for linking to #pocolo

    • Laura Dove
      April 21, 2017 / 7:05 pm

      Thanks lovely, sorry I’ve been AWOL from #POCOLO the last few weeks, I’ve had a hectic time over Easter but I’ll be back with you next week! xx

  108. April 21, 2017 / 8:39 pm

    Great post hun, and love that last photo – keeping it real 🙂 Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo

    • Laura Dove
      April 21, 2017 / 8:40 pm

      Thank you Steph, I will be back with you next week. xx

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