For Joseph on your 11th birthday

Joseph,

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve sat down to write this letter to you this week, searching for the right words, trying to put down all of these thoughts and feelings in my head, when all I really want to say is that I miss you, that my heart is hurting right now, that I’m struggling to accept how another birthday has come around so fast, how another year has flown, without you. 

And I wish, more than anything, that I was sat here now deciphering between my favourite anecdotes of your eleventh year, thinking of all of the moments we had shared over the last twelve months, the funny things you had said, the amazing things you had achieved, the days we had spent together filled with so much love and laughter, never knowing sadness, never living with such loss.

I wish that I was getting teary eyed looking back over your baby photos, remembering the day we had taken you home, when we had dressed you in the baby blue romper, the one I had so lovingly chosen on discovering you were a boy. I wish that I was flicking through photo albums, one after another, remembering how Lewis had beamed with pride at holding the little brother he had long awaited, how those jet black locks had turned into soft blonde curls against your neck, those spindly long legs into chunky squishable thighs.

I wish that I was looking back on your first smile, your first steps, first day at school, first football match, fuzzy captures of a gappy smile as you held a trophy above your head. I wish that I was pouring through photos of the two of you, the three of you, the four and five of you, piled into my arms, my face beaming with pride, the luckiest Mummy in all the world. 

I would give anything to have you burst into the kitchen right now, your face flushed from the Summer sun, to have you peer over my shoulder, roll your eyes, and tell me, “Don’t be putting that on Instagram!”, in just the same way that Lewis does. I would give just about anything to pull you into my arms and smother you with kisses, to tell you that you may be eleven but you will always be my baby boy, to ruffle your hair and tell you how very much I love you, to have you turn to me and say, “I love you too Mum.”

And yet I know that day will never come.

Today, on what would have been your eleventh birthday, you would also have left primary school, a day which would have been doubly emotional for your old Mum. And we would have done just the same for you as we did for Lewis, a meal out, a special treat, a moment together, just you and I, escaping the madness of life as a family of seven.

And I can’t help but imagine the little face that would have sat opposite me as we tucked into a burger, the sparkle in your eyes as you slurped down your favourite milkshake, your excited chatter at having six long weeks of Summer ahead. I can’t help but wonder whether you would be tall or short, sturdy or slender, whether your hair would be dark or fair, your eyes blue or brown, or perhaps something entirely different.

Today, and every day, I will always wonder who you would have been.

And that’s always going to be the hardest part about losing you, to go through life, reaching one milestone after another that you never had the chance to meet. The big days, the small days, the ordinary moments in between; a hundred different ways, a thousand different days, a million different moments that we never had, will never know. No matter how many years pass, that is always going to hurt

Today I seek comfort in my memories, in those  wonderful summer months when you kicked inside my belly, when we were blissfully unaware of what lay ahead, when bad things happened to other people and all babies were born pink and rosy, their eyes wide open and screaming at the top of their lungs

I seek comfort in your siblings and the ways in which they carry you though the years, in the stories they tell, the games that they play, every moment we share, you are there.

When I look into their eyes, the three year old boy you would have become, the teenager you would be fast approaching, the same button nose, rosebud lips, the same long fingers and toes, you are there.

When I hear their laughter, when I hold them close, when they shower me with hugs and kisses and I love you’s, when we talk about the brother whom they never met, but they knowwith every beat of their hearts, you are there.

When a ladybird landed on my hand this morning at your graveside, when a butterfly flew in through the car window this afternoon, when the clouds parted and a rainbow shone this evening, I know, more than ever, you are there. 

As Megan told me just yesterday, “He’s still here Mummy, you just can’t see him anymore.”

Joseph, you are so loved, so desperately missed, and so utterly precious to so many people.

Happy 11th Birthday gorgeous boy,

Love you all the stars in the sky,

Kisses on the wind,

Mum

xxxxx

 

 

 

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116 Comments

  1. July 19, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    Thinking of you and your family today Laura 😘 It must be so hard for you all. I am very teary eyed after reading your post I can imagine your pain x

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:16 pm

      Thank you Maria. It was a tough day I won’t lie, but my little family kept me smiling. Xxx

  2. Tania
    July 19, 2017 / 11:56 pm

    This is so beautifully written and so touching. I hope you find solace on the life you have built then after as you have a wonderful family.

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:11 pm

      Thank you Tania. Absolutely, these little rainbows of mine make the hardest days that little easier that’s for sure. Xx

  3. July 20, 2017 / 7:24 am

    Of course he’s still here, little signs will be sent to you whenever you’re feeling low.
    So many people don’t believe but I do, those that have past are still around waiting for when we need them the most.

    You are an amazing woman & this post, although hard to read & hard to imagine you going through, is exceptionally beautiful

    x

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:11 pm

      Thank you. I think you’re right. Whenever I’m low or really struggling, he has always reached out to me with a rainbow, a white feather at my feet or through the children telling me how he flies in their window at night. He is a huge part of our family, always. Xx

  4. July 20, 2017 / 8:08 am

    This is lovely. Thinking of you at this time x

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:09 pm

      Thank you Hannah. Xx

  5. July 20, 2017 / 10:24 am

    Oh Laura I’m so sorry you’ve had to miss all of this with your boy. I just can’t imagine. This is such a brave, lovely post x

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:08 pm

      Thank you so much Helen. X

  6. July 20, 2017 / 11:17 am

    My heart breaks reading this. I love the quote from your daughter, though – ““He’s still here Mummy, you just can’t see him anymore.” Big hugs. #coolmumclub

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:05 pm

      Thank you. Children are so wise aren’t they? I believe that she is right. Xxx

  7. July 20, 2017 / 11:18 am

    I had this saved to read yesterday and waited until I was on my own to read it as I knew it would make me cry. I will never understand what it is like to miss your child like this and my heart goes out to you. I know it’s been a difficult week in lots of ways and I wish I was there to give you a big squeeze. You are amazing to find the strength every day and I know your children bring you so much happiness. Your holiday couldn’t come at a better time, enjoy it lovely xxx

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:04 pm

      Ahh Laura, I love that you still wanted to read this even though you knew it would make you sad. Yesterday was tough but you’re right, we have a lovely ten days to spend together and these children of mine never fail to brighten my days. Xxx

  8. July 20, 2017 / 12:07 pm

    This was so beautifully written and must have been so hard. I am so sorry for your loss. I had a little cry reading this and your daughters words were lovely she is so right. Sending love xx

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:03 pm

      Thank you. Children are so intuitive aren’t they? I like to think that he is still around watching over us, he is a huge part of our family. Xx

  9. July 20, 2017 / 12:57 pm

    Oh Laura, such a beautifully written post as always. I can’t imagine how hard it must be. But yes I believe in signs, and he is there. Joseph is always there xx thinking of you xx

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:02 pm

      Thank you so much. I think you have to believe in signs or the alternative is just too sad. I believe he is here, it brings me huge comfort. Xx

  10. July 20, 2017 / 1:36 pm

    This is such a beautiful heartfelt post and I’m so very sorry that you didn’t have all these years with your precious little boy. Sending lots of love and caring thoughts to you and your family. Thinking of you x

    • Laura Dove
      July 20, 2017 / 2:01 pm

      Thank you Gail. Much appreciated. Xxx

  11. July 20, 2017 / 4:08 pm

    Oh darling…the way you write…it gets me every single time. I can’t imagine what this must feel like but thank you for sharing your feelings so openly sending lots of love and hugs to you from us all at #coolmumclub xoxo

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:51 pm

      Thank you Talya. Always appreciated. Have a wonderful Summer. Xxx

  12. July 20, 2017 / 5:19 pm

    Honestly, It is a bit scary as they grow up! it feels more of moving away than coming closer! My little girl (who thinks she is not little anymore) wants to talk to her friends but (I can feel) she doesn’t prefer a long chat with me :), Sometimes I sit and wonder if I was the same with my mum and when I am courageous enough to ask my mum, she just replies with a giggle!

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:50 pm

      Ahh yes it is hard. My eldest is 13 now and doesn’t need me in quite the same way. I cherish the moments we spend together more though, sometimes we have to let them spread their wings! Xx

  13. July 20, 2017 / 7:23 pm

    Such a hard post to read Laura.I am full of tears reading your post. Thinking of you and your lovely family today 🙁

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:47 pm

      Thank you Claire, I do appreciate you reading. Xx

  14. July 20, 2017 / 8:15 pm

    Having just finished my #coolmumclub reading for the night (and the summer) I had made a little note to come back to this one – to save it for last. I read this visualising Joseph too. An eleven year old boy looking a bit like Lewis and a bit like Megan. An excited young lad like the ones I passed in the school earlier, leaving to move on.
    Through you Laura Joseph lives on – he is part of all of our lives – even in the ones he would have never met had he lived. Through your blog you have touched so many people and shown it’s okay to grieve, to mourn and to remember the tiny feet that were never going to run after us or ask for help putting their shoes on. But even the tiniest of feet leave a footprint in our lives.
    Sending love to you today and always, and enjoy the summer with that beautiful family of yours – and of course Joseph who will be in the rainbows and the sunsets and every happy moment x

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:47 pm

      Oh lovely, your comment made me cry but in the happiest of ways that I know he has touched so many hearts. He would have been every bit as wonderful as I imagine him to be, even when he was being cheeky or answering back or leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor. I know that you understand these wonderings, the hardest of what ifs and if onlys, and it breaks my heart that you do, but it’s a comfort to know that you get it. And I really appreciate your lovely comment and reminding me that although these babies of ours couldn’t stay, they are still here in the eyes of their siblings. Much love to you, and have a wonderful holiday. Xxx

  15. July 20, 2017 / 8:39 pm

    I cannot begin to know what it feels like when someone looses a child. I do know what it feels like to loose loved ones. I guess my perspective on how family’s can be eternal family unit is what gives me peace. I hope you able to find your peace. This is a moving and well thought of post.

    John M

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:44 pm

      Thank you John. There are no words to explain how it feels to lose a child, I’m not sure it’s even possible to put into words. Xx

  16. Thomas Sanderson
    July 20, 2017 / 9:34 pm

    This is so beautifully written, I’m sorry for the pain you must feel as I could feel it through your writing. My thoughts go out to you and your family on this day. You have reduced me to tears and have touched my heart. God bless.

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:41 pm

      Ahh thank you Thomas. I really appreciate you reading. Xx

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:41 pm

      Thank you so much. Xx

  17. July 20, 2017 / 11:00 pm

    I did not know your story yet when I saw the post title on a linky something inside told me this would be a sad post. It is sad but it is also beautiful and a poignant tribute. I have no clever words but as it happens you will probably help others with this post

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:40 pm

      Ahh thank you Kitty. Sometimes no words are needed, I just find it very therapeutic to share and I hope it’s help those who are going through the same. Xx

  18. July 21, 2017 / 2:09 am

    Laura, a big hug to you. After reading this, I wish I could say something that would heal your pain a bit. Our life goes on, when you lose your loved one, they may not here physically, but the essence of their presence always stays with you through their memories. Good things and good memories never end. This is beyond beautiful. Take care.

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:39 pm

      Thank you lovely. You’re so right, we can never fully lose a loved one when we carry them through life. Some days are just harder than others aren’t they? Xx

  19. July 21, 2017 / 7:26 am

    This literally put tears in my eyes. So beautifully written. I can’t imagine losing someone so close to me, thinking of you and your family on this day <3

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:36 pm

      Thank you Ania. That means a lot. Xx

  20. July 21, 2017 / 7:33 am

    This was beyond beautiful, I’m sorry that you had to go through this. Just know he is always with you in everything that you do. I think your post will help others who have experienced the same loss.

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:36 pm

      Thank you Sondra. I really do hope so, that inspires me to keep writing. Xx

  21. July 21, 2017 / 9:32 am

    This is amazingly beautiful , got tears in my eyes. love is truly beyond death and you are proving it to me . Best thing i have read so far. I am literally touched. God bless you and your family including Joseph . Thank you for writing this and sharing with us all.

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:34 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. It’s always an honour to share Joseph with you all. Xx

  22. July 21, 2017 / 11:16 am

    What a beautifully written and heartfelt piece. As they say, grief is the price we pay for love and Joseph must have been loved very much. And I agree with Megan, he will always be with you.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Leigh at Fashion Du Jour LDN x

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:24 pm

      Thank you Leigh. That’s so true, he was so loved, always will be. Xx

  23. July 21, 2017 / 12:16 pm

    My heart breaks at the fragility of life and for every baby that was so loved and it’s life was visualised by it’s parents but never lived. I can’t say I’m sorry for your loss and as I know from your blog losses because sorry doesn’t even cut it. I’m heartbroken at a beauty extinguished and a potential unreached and moved by the light of your love still echoing in the darkness. For mother are you one hell of a woman and a mother to Joseph now and always. #FabFridayPosts

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:22 pm

      Ahh thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Joseph was, and always will be, a huge part of our family and it comforts me that the children carry him with them through life. Xx

  24. Amanda
    July 21, 2017 / 12:56 pm

    This is such a beautiful post for such a sad thing for you and your family. I love what your daughter said about him still being here and you just not being able to see him anymore x

    • Laura Dove
      July 21, 2017 / 1:21 pm

      Thank you Amanda, children are so intuitive aren’t they? I like to believe that it’s true. Xx

  25. Sameer
    July 21, 2017 / 1:35 pm

    Your story almost made me cry. I’m really sorry for your loss but I believe you won’t let the sorrows take you.

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:57 pm

      Thank you Sameer, I really appreciate that. xxx

  26. July 21, 2017 / 3:10 pm

    Thinking of you today. I shall light a candle in his memory tonight x

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:57 pm

      Ah thank you Kara, I appreciate that. xxx

  27. Taslyn Russell
    July 21, 2017 / 4:01 pm

    My heart goes out to you and your family because I can relate. This post really made me so emotional! Your so strong I loved every bit of this post Thank you.xx

    Taslyn| http://www.hiddenbeau-t.co.uk

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:55 pm

      Thank you Taslyn, I appreciate you reading. xxx

  28. Helen
    July 21, 2017 / 6:51 pm

    I’m so sorry Joseph isn’t here to celebrate his 11th Birthday. This is beautifully written and so moving. I love that he is still here in your other children and that they all know he’s with them. Thinking of you and your family x

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:54 pm

      Thank you Helen, birthdays are always tough and yet I am comforted by the fact that he lives on in all five of his siblings. He was a very special little boy that’s for sure. xxx

  29. July 21, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    Oh my goodness, this is so beautiful. I do believe that is with you at all times but I can’t imagine how it must feel for you. Huge hugs, thank you for sharing this precious post. Kaz xx

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:53 pm

      Thank you so much. I love that the children talk about him so often, knowing he is close is such a comfort. xx

  30. July 21, 2017 / 8:46 pm

    A post that is so moving, I love the little signs that you’ve had on what would have been Josephs birthday. #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:52 pm

      Thank you Jo, I really believe that he is always around us. xx

  31. July 21, 2017 / 9:10 pm

    This is beautiful and so sad <3 What a lovely thing for Megan to say and of course she's right, he'll always be with you all. Happy 11th Birthday, Joseph.

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:51 pm

      Thank you so much Jess. xxx

  32. July 22, 2017 / 12:49 pm

    This is so beautifully written and heartbreaking. I’m sending all the love and strength your way to you and your family. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:46 pm

      Thank you so much Leigh. xxx

  33. July 22, 2017 / 5:11 pm

    I can’t imagine how you must feel laura this really moved me to tears, I’m not sure I would cope or if I did very badly. I was taken on your emotional journey and felt your heartbreak in your beautiful words. Your writing in my opinion puts you in the top tier of mum bloggers if not the best around Today lots of hugs xxx Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:44 pm

      Thank you Nige, you always leave the most lovely and supportive comments. I remember before we lost Joseph I heard of someone experiencing the same and I distinctly remember saying to a friend, if that were me, I would die. I was adamant that I couldn’t survive it, and nor would I want to, but then it happened and you’re faced with a decision of trying to find a way forward, or giving up altogether? I think had we not had Lewis my story would be very different, but here I am, eleven years down the line, surviving, smiling and, most importantly, living a life in honour of the most precious little boy who made me every bit of who I am. xxx

  34. July 22, 2017 / 6:32 pm

    What a beautiful post. Sending you virtual hugs right now. Thinking of you and your family.

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:41 pm

      Thank you so much. xxx

  35. July 22, 2017 / 9:11 pm

    This is so touching. I really think you have done Joseph’s memory proud x

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:39 pm

      Thank you so much Leah, I really appreciate that. xxx

  36. July 22, 2017 / 9:19 pm

    A difficult read but an important one. You have been through something that every parent dreads. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child and how this must affect you every day but especially on birthdays and family celebrations. Joseph will always be with you and it is lovely his siblings know he is there too. Lx

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:39 pm

      Thank you. I think that’s the best I can hope for isn’t it? That his siblings carry him with them through life, in some way that comforts me to know that he is still living the life he would have had, just through the hearts of others. xx

  37. July 23, 2017 / 9:04 am

    I had to put my phone down after reading this, sneak to the kitchen, cry, and now, next morning I can write my comment. I can’t imagine the pain you felt and with what you have to live with, and it’s never going to go away. Thanks for being so open, so others can realise how lucky they are.

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:34 pm

      Oh Eva, I’m sorry that it made you cry but I really appreciate that you read it. I find it so hard to write and yet I know at the same time it can be so hard to read, but his story deserves to be told and I do my utmost to make him proud ever single day. xxx

  38. July 23, 2017 / 10:53 am

    Your story brought me to tears. I can not even imagine how hard it is for you and your family on his birthday. I am sure he can feel your love and his spirit is present in every moment of your lives. Have a beautiful summer.
    Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost” You are very inspiring mama <3

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:32 pm

      Thank you Su, I really appreciate that. He was the most special little boy and it is always an honour to share him with you all. xxx

  39. July 23, 2017 / 11:46 am

    Sending you and your family hugs and warm wishes, knowing that Joseph lives here now too! #ThatFridayLinky

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:32 pm

      Thank you lovely xxx

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:30 pm

      Thank you Lisa xxx

  40. July 24, 2017 / 7:11 am

    Sending you much love on this difficult day. You write so beautifully, and through that, Joseph has touched many lives #coolmumclub

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:25 pm

      Thank you Lucy, I really appreciate that. xxx

  41. July 24, 2017 / 10:19 am

    What a beautiful letter, and how sweet and perfect what Megan said to you, so true xx

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:24 pm

      Thank you Stephanie, I think she is so right. xx

  42. July 24, 2017 / 7:25 pm

    You always write such beautiful letters to your children and they always reduce me to tears. Sending love and hugs x
    #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:22 pm

      Ahh thank you Alana. xxx

  43. July 25, 2017 / 4:18 pm

    Bless you Laura, my heart goes out to you after reading this post – so brave for you to put all this down in words. Sending big hugs x

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:20 pm

      Thank you Becca. xxx

  44. July 27, 2017 / 10:05 am

    Oh Laura, I have goosebumps reading this. Happy birthday Joseph your Mum is a very strong lady. Lots of love to you all. Sarah #FabFridayPost

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 4:40 pm

      Thank you Sarah, much appreciated. xxx

  45. July 30, 2017 / 4:57 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. This was such a beautiful letter. It was difficult to read, but I couldn’t stop. It’s heartbreaking to think of all the tiny people who never get to live the lives they deserve. I’m sorry Joseph didn’t get to live his. x

    • Laura Dove
      July 30, 2017 / 5:31 pm

      Ahh thank you Jessica, I really appreciate you reading. He was a very special little boy that’s for sure. xxx

  46. July 31, 2017 / 12:05 pm

    Just beautiful. You are a strong soul for sharing your profound loss. It’s lovely to think on the tiny signs that create the feeling that he is still with you. I’m so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing.
    ~Jess
    #GlobalBlogging

    • Laura Dove
      July 31, 2017 / 1:07 pm

      Thank you Jessica, I really do believe that he is still with us. xx

  47. August 1, 2017 / 1:38 pm

    Truly beautiful yet heart breaking post! I am so sorry you have experienced this! Just know that he’s with you everyday looking down on you. xx #dreamteam

    • Laura Dove
      August 1, 2017 / 3:45 pm

      Thank you Kerry, I think I have to believe that, it’s the only way to get through the really tough days. xx

  48. August 1, 2017 / 6:46 pm

    Heartbreakingly beautiful. You are quite wonderful! #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Laura Dove
      August 1, 2017 / 8:37 pm

      Ahh Hayley, thank you so much. xxx

  49. August 3, 2017 / 6:59 am

    #triumphanttales absolutely with you, little Gracie should be 8 in September and I’m constantly wondering what she would be, likes, dislikes and frankly it sucks. sending love, light and cuddles x (you’re right though i don’t doubt she would be loved and adored and is with us)

    • Laura Dove
      August 3, 2017 / 8:00 pm

      Thank you lovely, I doubt we will ever stop wondering who they would have been. That will always be the hardest part. Much love to you. xx

  50. August 3, 2017 / 9:47 pm

    Beautifully written. Thinking of you at this difficult time of year. This post really deserves to be highlighted in the #PostsFromTheHeart linky.

    Megan sounds very wise 🙂

    • Laura Dove
      August 4, 2017 / 9:54 am

      Ahh Simone, thank you so much. xxx

  51. August 6, 2017 / 5:18 am

    This so beautiful and emotional, thank you for sharing it with all of us to read! I know it can’t be easy. You’re an amazing mummy Laura. Sending you lots of love from Australia #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      August 6, 2017 / 5:54 pm

      Ahh thank you so much, I really do appreciate that. xxx

  52. August 6, 2017 / 6:29 am

    This is just such an utterly poignant and beautifully written post. I took in every word and felt a raft of emotions whilst doing so. Thinking of you and your family.
    Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging

    • Laura Dove
      August 6, 2017 / 5:53 pm

      Thank you Rach, it’s always difficult to write but I need to do it, it’s hugely therapeutic I guess. Thank you for reading. xx

  53. August 6, 2017 / 3:36 pm

    I’m hurting for you reading this. You got me at the ladybird part. Such a beautiful post. Lots of love to you all. Thanks so much for linking up to #TriumphantTales – hope to see you again on Tuesday.

    • Laura Dove
      August 6, 2017 / 5:45 pm

      Ahh thank you Jaki, I think it’s always tough to read these posts but I also want to share that grief doesn’t disappear with time. It’s important to share that isn’t it? Thank you as always for hosting. See you Tuesday! xx

  54. August 8, 2017 / 9:14 am

    Oh Lau this has brought such tears to my eyes, I cannot begin to imagine how hard this is for you and your family. But Joseph must be looking down so proud of his mummy, this is so beautiful. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam xx

    • Laura Dove
      August 8, 2017 / 2:55 pm

      Thank you lovely, I really hope so. I’m behind on my comments, will do mine tonight – sorry!! xxx

  55. August 14, 2017 / 4:10 pm

    This is a beautiful post. Hugs to you x
    #KCACOLS

    • Laura Dove
      August 14, 2017 / 10:26 pm

      Thank you Ali. xxx

  56. August 15, 2017 / 7:31 pm

    Laura, that is so beautiful and heart breaking at the same time. I’m not going to lie, I’m in tears right now. Can’t imagine what you have been through, and are still going through, but big hugs to you all. Thanks for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time. Kerry

    • Laura Dove
      August 15, 2017 / 7:53 pm

      Ahh thank you Kerry, I really appreciate you reading. xxx

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