Babyloss Awareness Week 2017 – Our perfect Moments

Losing a baby is devastating. I cannot sit here, having lost sixteen much wanted babies, and tell you otherwise. But what I can tell you is that the precious moments I shared with each baby were so wonderful and precious and, although the pain of a loss is always prevalent, it is those happy memories I choose to hold on to. Those are the moments which will always made me smile through my tears.

I was very lucky to have made the most wonderful memories with Joseph, to have shared months of wriggles and kicks and the honour of holding him in my arms for twenty four precious hours. Sadly I did not have that with the babies I lost to miscarriage, although I was fortunate to see several of them on scans, to witness the flicker of their heart beats, to have grainy print outs to hold on to and the undying memory of just how loved and wanted each of them was.

I think it’s important that we celebrate those moments, that we find joy amongst so much sadness, and that when we think of those babies we feel grateful for the short time we spent together. And for that reason I asked a group of parent bloggers to share their precious memories of their own babies who sadly never made it into their arms.

“My baby will always have the place in our lives when I told my husband that he was going to be a daddy for the first time. To see his smile, however short lived it was, will always be special.”Dear Bear & Beany.

“My third baby was the only baby that was planned, possibly the first time I looked at a positive pregnancy test without feeling overwhelmed and nervous. I’ll never forget that moment of sheer happiness and telling my husband. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be and we lost our baby at 11 weeks.”Meme & Harri.

“I had a feeling I was pregnant on our honeymoon with our first baby. When we got back I took a test and it was positive we were so happy and extremely excited. Unfortunately it was the first of 3 miscarriages before we got our rainbow baby.” ~ Rachel Bustin.

“Losing my baby has been a true lesson for me to remember how fast life can be altered – or lost – without any warning, at any time. Life is so easily taken for granted, and my baby has reminded me how important it is to be thankful for the time we do have.”The homemakers journal.

“When we found out I was pregnant it was a big surprise, and we had to get it confirmed with a scan because we had no idea how far gone I was. Turns out I was 9 weeks. I’ll never forget, the evening after that first scan, curled up on the sofa with my husband and two eldest. The children were rubbing my belly and talking to their little sister. My daughter named her Sunshine that night. It was such a lovely night and we were so close and so happy. Sadly we would never have the chance to meet Sunshine. We lost her at 16 weeks.”The Mum Conundrum.

“I was out for the evening with some lovely friends and they all wanted to know why I wasn’t drinking the wine with dinner, oh wow! They knew we’d been trying for number two for a while and how much it meant. It was just a lovely evening. Sadly a week later it all started to go horribly wrong when I started bleeding. But that was a precious happy moment.”Over 40 and Mum to one.

“We didn’t know we were expecting until it was too late but at that moment of finding out, my husband and I were brought even closer through our grief. It was the tightest he ever held me and that moment was so bittersweet.” ~ Thrifty Mum.

“The baby I lost in between my two had a due date that was my Biggest’s birthday. That made smile. Also watching the test turn positive together.” ~ Someone’s Mum.

“My sister and I had our first babies just 3 weeks apart and we’ve loved watching them grow up so close. So it was a wonderful moment when, just after telling her I was pregnant again and her congratulations, she told me she was pregnant too! Our due dates were just 3 weeks apart again – it was such a happy moment for all of us, although I did go on to lose that baby.” ~ Hot pink wellingtons.

“My Angel Baby helped me re-evaluate my life completely. I went from having a breakdown to completely turning my life around and exactly a year later, right down to the date, I found out I was pregnant with my Rainbow Baby who also shared the same due date. It sounds silly written down but I believe it was my little Angel who made that happen. ” ~ Gee Gardner.

“I remember the day we found out we were having another girl – that Izzie was going to have a sister. I was so happy as I never dreamt of having two girls – I went out and bought them matching outfits. Sadly having two girls was not meant to be for us, but we went on to have two boys – and now I get to twin them!”Somewhere over the rainbow.

“That first moment of finding out I was pregnant was utterly amazing – trying for my first two children had been really hard and this one happened out of the blue. When we had our miscarriage we decided to plant a tree in the garden and our other two children chose an apple tree. The moment when that little tree produced its first little apple was so lovely and emotional – as if somehow that little lost life went on.” ~ Wild Mama – Wild Tribe.

“One of the happiest moments was when we ‘finally’ at 13 weeks told our close friends over dinner one Friday evening that we were expecting our first child. It was a fab London restaurant, everyone (except for me!) celebrated with good wine. The joy was short lived as I then suffered a miscarriage but I still remember their delight over us joining them in the parent club.” ~ Absolutely Prabulous.

“A special moment I had was when I saw our little baby on the screen for the first time. The baby was only only very small but I saw the tiny flickering heartbeat. The baby was only here such a short time but I’ll never ever forget that feeling. He was here, he existed and I’ll never forget.”Rice cakes and Raisins.

“I’m so thankful that I got to see my baby’s heartbeat twice before he/she passed. That moment when the sonographer said ‘and there’s your baby’s heartbeat’ was amazing, to hear that didn’t seem real. I have two scan photos to treasure, both of which my little bean was strong and growing. 8 weeks in my tummy, forever in my heart.”The Adventures of an Allergy Mummy.

“For me it was when my toddler put his hands on my belly and said “baby”. I wasn’t showing and I’m not sure he really understood, but it made it so real and I’ll never forget that moment. “Scandi Mummy.

“I’ll never forget lying on the hospital bed as the sonographer pointed out 3 tiny babies. The shock was quickly replaced by elation – after 5 years of trying we were going to be blessed with triplets. We called my dad to tell him and he said ‘turns out babies are just like buses – you wait ages for one and three come along at once!’. It was a really joyful moment. Unfortunately we lost them at 11 weeks. My friend gave me a beautiful necklace with 3 stars on it and so I carry them with me.”Better Together Home.

“Following a miscarriage we decided to have a private scan when I was pregnant again. Seeing the little one kicking and spinning felt amazing. Six weeks later , at the twenty week scan, we discovered our little one had no working kidneys. I now still have that DVD of the time we saw him when he was well.”Balance Collective.

In memory of all of the babies lost who live on in our hearts.

Loved and missed, always.

This year Stickerscape shall be donating £1 from each sale to The Miscarriage Association and Millie’s Trust. 

Follow:

37 Comments

  1. October 14, 2017 / 12:50 pm

    A beautiful post Laura. So many precious memories that we are all holding onto. Thank you for including us amongst these beautiful ladies xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 3:16 pm

      Thank you Laura, and for sharing your moment with us too. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:54 pm

      And thank you for sharing yours. xxx

  2. October 14, 2017 / 7:37 pm

    What a moving post! Lovely that so many people were able to share their precious moments

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:53 pm

      Thank you Leona, I love that they shared those moments with me, and all of us. xx

  3. October 15, 2017 / 3:01 pm

    This is such a heartbreaking but heartwarming read. I love that you’ve inspired people to find those moments of joy, even in such a sad situation – these are all so lovely to read. Thank you for including our story xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 3:11 pm

      Ahh thank you so much for contributing. It’s so sad that so many have lost a baby but I agree it was heart-warming to read.xx

  4. October 15, 2017 / 8:25 pm

    Thank you again for sharing your journey with us. I shared this in one of my groups.

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:28 am

      Thank you Patrick. xx

  5. October 15, 2017 / 9:07 pm

    It’s so sad to think that so many women (and their partners and family) go through this loss year year – heartbreaking

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:27 am

      It really is, 1 in 4 is far too many. xx

  6. October 16, 2017 / 8:49 am

    This is heartbreaking but I think it’s so important for more women and men to talk about this as I don’t think people get enough support on this matter x

  7. October 16, 2017 / 9:16 am

    it is all too sad how many of us have suffered and how many will continue to suffer this way. I love that everyone is able to share this happy moments, makes me recall my happy moments even more. You are amazing and so, so special, I hope you never doubt that again xx Thanks for linking up #mg

  8. October 16, 2017 / 9:15 pm

    Such a beautiful post, Laura. It brought tears to my eyes. I remember a similar moment with my first pregnancy. I was having a lie in on a Saturday morning and sitting writing all my maternity notes. I sat there rubbing my belly. And I felt so content and so happy. Sadly, a week or so later we discovered the baby had died. But I still remember that moment. A time when I felt complete happiness and totally in love with my child. Hugs Lucy xxxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 17, 2017 / 10:06 am

      Thank you Lucy, and for sharing that precious moment with me. Those are the moments that we should cling on to aren’t they? Not the sadness and the loss, but the moments when life was wonderful and filled with promise. Much love as always. xxx

  9. October 16, 2017 / 10:42 pm

    Oh Laura, I knew you had suffered loss but I had no idea how many miscarriages you had. You are really are a brave soul and it is wonderful that you have partnered with other bloggers to raise awareness of baby loss week x

    • Laura Dove
      October 17, 2017 / 10:03 am

      Thank you Ana, things were tough for such a long time but I also know that we have been so lucky. Far luckier than most. xxx

      • October 23, 2017 / 11:20 pm

        Look at you always thinking of others even when you have been in pain. You truly are a beautiful soul Laura and I am proud to know you x

        • Laura Dove
          October 24, 2017 / 7:40 pm

          Ahh thank you so much Ana. Back at you. xxx

  10. October 17, 2017 / 10:25 am

    Heartbreakingly beautiful Laura. It’s lovely that you can all remember the good moments and raise awareness x

    • Laura Dove
      October 17, 2017 / 4:40 pm

      Thank you Jenni. xxx

  11. October 17, 2017 / 4:37 pm

    This is such a touching and beautiful post, I know so many people will find comfort in this.

  12. October 17, 2017 / 6:23 pm

    It happens to so many, unfortunately. I lost my first baby due to a miscarriage but went on to have four beautiful children, thank goodness. Hugs to all these mums – and you of course. Kaz x

    • Laura Dove
      October 19, 2017 / 9:39 pm

      Sorry to hear that Kaz, happens to 1 in 4, crazy really. xxx

  13. October 17, 2017 / 7:58 pm

    What a wonderful post. Lots of love to everyone xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 19, 2017 / 9:38 pm

      Thank you Erin. xx

  14. Sarah Ann
    October 17, 2017 / 10:28 pm

    I don’t have children of my own so I can’t even imagine how it feels to lose a baby. I have tears rolling down my face though after reading your post. Thank you so much (to you and all those in your post) for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for your loss and touched by your strength and gratitude for those precious moments you now hold in your heart. Sending you all my love. xxxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 19, 2017 / 9:19 pm

      Ahh thank you so much Sarah, I really appreciate that. It’s so hard but so important to share. xx

  15. October 18, 2017 / 10:56 am

    Really beautiful post on what is a difficult and emotional topic but does need to be talked about and shared. I cannot imagine how hard it must of been for you that many times but I feel this post is really going to help others

    Laura x

    • Laura Dove
      October 19, 2017 / 9:10 pm

      Thank you Laura, I appreciate you reading. xxx

  16. Beautykinguk
    October 18, 2017 / 1:07 pm

    We don’t have children but I think you make such a valid point and I can only offer my absolute sorrow at what happened to you!

    • Laura Dove
      October 19, 2017 / 9:01 pm

      Thank you so much xxx

  17. October 19, 2017 / 7:18 am

    I love that you’re sharing these. It’s so important to not feel alone which is how I think losing a baby makes you feel. I had two miscarriages so can only imagine at the pain of the number you had to experience. Thank you for sharing xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 19, 2017 / 8:29 pm

      Thank you Nichola, it’s so important that we all support each other through baby loss, I’m sorry you have experience of this. Much love. xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 25, 2017 / 9:32 am

      Thank you for sharing your story, much love. xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *