Babyloss Awareness 2017: Why your loss will never compare to mine

“I know exactly how you feel.” 

It’s a phrase I have heard countless times over the years, when we lost our first baby to miscarriage, when our second son Joseph was stillborn, when we lost one baby after another and wondered if we would ever hold our rainbows.

“I went through exactly the same.”

A comment made by many, when I told them of our pain at never making it past the first trimester, of our agony at having to give birth to a baby whom we would never take home, of the ways in which those losses impacted on our family and our future.

I always found those phrases difficult to hear, however well meaning a place they came from, because the truth is you couldn’t know exactly how I felt, and you couldn’t know exactly what I went through.

Our losses did not compare. 

You couldn’t possibly know how it felt to be me, aged 23, pregnant for the very first time, planning a future for a baby who was so loved and wanted. You couldn’t know how we had poured over catalogues and traipsed around DIY stores, hunting down the perfect shade of magnolia for the nursery, the animal themed curtains, the soft cotton bedding, the nursing chair where I imagined we would sit at night after night with our little one.

You couldn’t know how it felt to go for our scan that day, my bladder fit to burst, thirteen weeks pregnant, my stomach just beginning to round, outfits picked out, names chosen, a future planned, to be told that our precious little one had died.

You couldn’t have known our joy at falling pregnant with our second son, of making it through our first scan, our second scan, feeling a sense of relief that at long last our family would be complete. You couldn’t have felt our shock at hitting the third trimester and the back to back appointments, two, three, four times a week, the fortnightly scans, the worries for a baby who no longer seemed to be growing as he should, the fears for a son whose life suddenly seemed to be at risk.

You couldn’t have felt the way that we did that day, so close to my due date, hearing that our baby, our little boy, would not be opening his eyes, taking his first breath, or coming home to live a long and happy life with us. You couldn’t have known what it was like to go through 35 hours of excruciating labour, to hear that deafening silence as he came into the world, to feel my heart breaking as I held him in my arms, knowing he was not ours to keep

There is no way on earth you felt the way that I did during those 24 hours we spent together. You couldn’t have felt that over whelming sadness as I said our first hello’s, nor known how saying goodbye was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It would be impossible for you to feel the devastation as I did, just six days later at his graveside, watching in complete disbelief as my little boy was lowered into the ground, covered with dirt, and gone forever. Nobody on this planet has ever felt the way that I did right there in that moment.

You couldn’t have known the heartache I went through in the following years, when every positive test, or every beautiful flicker of a heartbeat, resulted in another loss, another devastating blow, another hit to a marriage which was already failing. You couldn’t have known just how hard it was when my mental health suffered, my marriage ended, my hopes and dreams crushed, my losses all consuming.

You couldn’t have known how unfair it felt to meet a new partner, a new husband, and have history repeat itself with multiple losses, an over-whelming disappointment, the fear that we would never have the baby we so desperately wanted. You couldn’t have known the agony of carrying a baby who you fully expected to lose, or having your son cry himself to sleep each night for fear that his baby sister would not make it home like Joseph. You couldn’t have felt those nine long months of worry, nor my sadness that the joy of pregnancy was completely over shadowed by the fear of loss.

And those stories you told me, about how your neighbour lost a baby at six weeks, and how it was exactly the same as losing our son, that wasn’t helpful. The account of your cousin who lost twins at full term, or your childless friend who had multiple miscarriages, the implication that our loss could have been worse, that didn’t help me either. Your claims to know exactly how I felt because your Grandma died, or your Mum died, or even your baby died, that didn’t take away my pain or make my loss any easier to bear.

Because, in the nicest way possible, you were wrong.

Those experiences I went through, they were mine. Those losses I suffered, those fifteen little babies I said goodbye to, they were mine too. That beautiful baby boy who I held in my arms, with his mop of black hair, his ruby red lips and perfect little fingers and toes, he was all mine. 

Those thoughts and emotions, an over-whelming sense of disbelief, of anger and grief, of complete and utter loss, those feelings were just mine. Those moments where time stood still, where our world turned upside, when we wondered how we would ever find a way to survive such a loss, all of it was mine.

And whilst you can sympathise, you can empathise, you can relate on every level; whilst you can share your stories, your similarities, your feelings and your fears; whilst you can offer your love and support and your own personal experiences that are so very similar on the surface, your loss will never be the same as mine. 

You didn’t lose the joy of hearing my babies first cries, their eyes squinting in the daylight, their hands wrapped around my little finger. You didn’t lose the day we would have brought them home, watched them grow, first smiles, first teeth, first steps. You didn’t lose their first day at school, their birthday parties and Christmas mornings, the Mothers Day kisses and night time cuddles.

You didn’t lose the sound of their laughter, the sparkle in their eyes, the good days, the bad days, the holidays and every days. You didn’t lose the person you were before, the life you can never go back to, a heart that will never be whole. You didn’t lose my firsts, my future, my hopes and dreams. You didn’t lose my baby.

You see, your loss can never compare to mine.

And mine shall never compare to yours. 

 

 

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118 Comments

  1. October 12, 2017 / 7:12 pm

    Oh my God, Laura this is beautiful and completely heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through. The pain and heartache. You are such an amazing lady and all your babies are truly blessed to have you as their Mummy. And our community are lucky to have such an amazing blogger who is able to write so poignantly and so beautifully. Sending you so much love this week and every week. Hugs Lucy xxxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:41 am

      Ahh Lucy thank you so much, and all of those things I feel about you too. I shall be finding comfort in my beautiful babies arms this weekend and reminding myself how very lucky we have been. Much love to you as always. xxx

  2. October 12, 2017 / 7:57 pm

    This is so heartbreaking to read, you are so right though, no one’s loss can compare to another, it is different for everyone and unique to everyone.

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:40 am

      Thank you Sarah, I think understanding and respecting that every loss is different is the first step towards really understanding babyloss? xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:39 am

      Thank you Elinor, much appreciated. xx

  3. October 12, 2017 / 9:50 pm

    Spot on laura. Its incredibly hard and unique to each mother… each set of parents. It isn’t helpful to hear those things and to remember again and again is incredibly heart breaking. No one can completely walk in your shoes and know what life without your little ones feels like. Love and admire you greatly xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:34 am

      Thank you Mary, I know that you get it, I hate that you do though. Let’s get our heads together this week lovely lady. xxx

  4. October 13, 2017 / 12:35 am

    Oh my goodness, I had tears and goosebumps all over my body, such a big loss, can’t even imagine what you would have gone through with! Indeed your loss cannot be compared. be strong , hugs to you.

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:32 am

      Thank you Jhilmil, I always appreciate your lovely comments. xx

  5. October 13, 2017 / 5:19 am

    Beautiful post laura and so right. So many times people try to comfort you but they don’t really know what to say when the truth is all they’ve got to say is I’m here. X

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:31 am

      Thank you Jo. Exactly that, just be there for someone, that’s the advice I give to everyone when it comes to loss of any kind. xx

  6. October 13, 2017 / 5:44 am

    Truly emotional piece but this is so beautiful. You’re so brave for speaking out xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:30 am

      Thank you so much Hannah. xx

  7. October 13, 2017 / 7:09 am

    Although losses will never compare, people that have lost do understand and have empathy that people that haven’t experienced the loss won’t. Thank you for raising awareness

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:30 am

      I totally agree Kara, I think only when you have suffered a loss can you even begin to imagine how that feels. Having empathy, or indeed sympathy, is such an important quality and it did help me massively during our losses. xx

  8. October 13, 2017 / 7:31 am

    Totally heartbreaking yet beautifully written as always 🙂 You’re so very brave for sharing such a personal experience, sending love xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:29 am

      Thank you lovely, much appreciated. xxx

  9. October 13, 2017 / 8:09 am

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss and can not imagine the pain you went through.

    I’m a sure your words will be comfort to others

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:29 am

      Thank you Leona, it’s never easy to write or read about baby loss, but it’s paramount that we do speak about it and raise awareness as much as possible. Big week for baby loss, but it shouldn’t end there. xxx

  10. October 13, 2017 / 8:22 am

    This is all so heartbreaking to read and I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel. No one could x

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:28 am

      Thank you Rhian, I appreciate you reading. xx

  11. October 13, 2017 / 9:06 am

    Lovely post. We have had lots of comparisons since our daughter died. They don’t help. The At least is also unhelpful. Our baby died at 5 weeks old, and people often say it is the same as other losses. It isn’t. I’ve had other losses, it isn’t the same. Everyone one grieves, but we all wear it differently. Even mine and my husband’s grief is not the same.
    Much love.

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 9:28 am

      Thank you Julz, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, I cant even begin to imagine how devastating that must have been, and still be every single day. I totally agree, I have lost 16 babies and not one of those losses was the same and nor did I grieve in the same way as my husband, or my ex husband. I think loss is incomparable, there are no right or wrong ways to grieve, it’s just accepting that loss is a personal journey and supporting each other along the way. xxx

  12. October 13, 2017 / 9:44 am

    Beautiful Laura, I can’t even imagine the emotional rollercoaster you have been on throughout your life. An immense amount of heartbreak – you write so beautifully. Sarah #FabFridayPost

  13. October 13, 2017 / 9:56 am

    A heart-breaking article to read, but great that you are raising awareness like this! 🙂 x

  14. October 13, 2017 / 11:13 am

    I started reading this last night and came back to finish today, heartbreaking story, I have just reshared my post to raise awareness.
    It is so true that your own heartbreak is different to someone elses, we all act differently x

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 11:22 am

      Thank you so much Samantha, I really do appreciate you reading it, it’s never easy I know. xxx

  15. October 13, 2017 / 11:57 am

    This is a heartbreaking post and you were so brave to post this, I can’t imagine it being easy to do.

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 8:34 pm

      Thank you so much Melissa. xx

  16. October 13, 2017 / 12:16 pm

    Every loss that someone experiences is different and while people sometimes don’t know what to say, or say the wrong thing, I don’t think comparison is ever healthy really. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 5:57 pm

      I totally agree, comparison can leave others feeling as though their loss is not as important as someone elses, or that their feelings of loss are not valid. Thanks for reading lovely xx

  17. October 13, 2017 / 1:24 pm

    This is so heartfelt and very beautifully said. You are spot on with it too. I know people only mean well when they try to sympathise and offer words of comfort but they don’t know how you’ve experienced your losses. Beautiful! X

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 5:56 pm

      Thank you Samantha. I think accepting that loss is incomparable is a huge step towards understanding babyloss. xx

  18. October 13, 2017 / 3:08 pm

    This is really a heartbreaking story and so sad to bear I know all the lains and I wish you will be fine someday glad that you are so brave to share this story with us.

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 5:55 pm

      Thank you Angela, such an important cause and one I will never stop campaigning for. xx

  19. October 13, 2017 / 4:35 pm

    Woah. That was so beautifully written and so spot on. Everything is relative and no one experiences the same experience. I think people try to sympathise I was once told “at least you don’t have to go through labour” when talking about my infertility. Did they mean it with mallace? Nope. But it still amazed me that they said it!!

    • Laura Dove
      October 13, 2017 / 5:53 pm

      Yes that’s shocking really isn’t it? People do try and make you feel better, and I know that most of the hurtful comments I heard came from a place of wanting to help me, but still hard right? Everyone is different, every loss is different, losing my baby will always be an experience that nobody else can truly know of. xx

  20. October 13, 2017 / 7:25 pm

    No matter how similar ones loss is to the other it’s completely different for each person. I wouldn’t even know what to say to some whose not lost one but 15 most wanted babies. You’re an inspiration.

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 12:27 pm

      Thank you Anosa. Sometimes there are no words and I think it’s important to realise that and know that it’s okay. Sometimes a hug speaks volumes. xx

  21. October 13, 2017 / 7:25 pm

    So heartbreaking. Sending you much love as always xxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 12:27 pm

      Thank you lovely. xx

  22. October 13, 2017 / 7:33 pm

    Heartbreaking post lovely but so beautifully written x

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 12:26 pm

      Thank you lovely. xx

  23. October 13, 2017 / 7:35 pm

    So beautiful and I am so sorry for your loss. There are so many women who suffer loss xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 12:26 pm

      Thank you Cathy, far too many. xx

  24. October 14, 2017 / 9:32 am

    Beautiful Laura . My heart goes out to you xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 12:23 pm

      Thank you Kira. xx

  25. October 14, 2017 / 9:42 am

    So beautifully written Laura! I am in awe at your strength and bravery. It is so hard to go through, I’ve suffered the loss of 2 babies myself. Whilst many have gone through this horrible journey of loss, you’re so right in that no one can tell you how it feels, or compare. Every one of us have our own version of what’s happened, my husband and I grieved very differently (in part because I almost didn’t make it the 2nd time and it shook my husband to the core).
    Sending you much love and hugs xxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 12:23 pm

      Thank you Nathalie, it’s just devastating isn’t it? You are so right, everyone has their own grief and their own ways of coping. It sounds like you went through so much, your husband must have been terrified, I don’t think you ever really get over something like that? Lots of love to you, this week and every week. xx

  26. October 14, 2017 / 2:30 pm

    Your pain and heartbreak so raw in this post and the message so spot on. I have never been through this but I have friends who have and you are right, totally different to yous, comparable in no single way x

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 3:16 pm

      Thank you Rachel. Everyone is different, there are no rights or wrongs when it comes to loss. xx

  27. October 14, 2017 / 2:34 pm

    Totally heartbreaking and beautifully written. You managed to make me see just a little of what you must have been through. I think I must have been guilty of some of these in the past, never knowing what to say but wanting to say something xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 3:15 pm

      Thank you lovely, I think many people worry so much about saying the wrong thing that ultimately they say nothing, which can be just as hard. I always say a hug speaks volumes. xx

  28. October 14, 2017 / 2:36 pm

    Laura, this is so sad but as usual, you seem to have chosen just the right words. I’m so sorry that you’ve had such a heartbreaking journey. xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 3:15 pm

      Thank you Sinead, I always appreciate others reading these posts as I know they aren’t easy. xxx

  29. October 14, 2017 / 3:50 pm

    Like I have mentioned before,you can have 1,000 women in a room who have suffered a miscarriage and every single story is different. No one has walked in your shoes because they have their own shoes to fill.
    Sometimes you just have to let people know what you wrote….there is no comparison. I think the one thing in which I CAN relate to too and understand is the medical neglect from our medical professionals. If only they had acted sooner,we would be writing about a young man growing up and Lori and I would getting for Halloween.

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:56 pm

      Oh Patrick, that breaks my heart, and you are so right. Life feels so desperately unfair sometimes doesn’t it? I think should we allow ourselves to dwell on that thought we would surely go insane. Sending you so much love today and every day, you hold that Cheetah tightly for me. xxx

  30. Blair villanueva
    October 14, 2017 / 4:02 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story and for supporting this advocacy. People needs support in order to move on.

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:55 pm

      Thank you for reading. xx

  31. October 14, 2017 / 4:43 pm

    Sharing stories of baby loss is important this week and all year round.

    • Laura Dove
      October 14, 2017 / 4:49 pm

      Absolutely, it’s so important that we keep talking about it. xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:55 pm

      Absolutely Jenny, it shouldn’t end here with baby loss awareness week. xx

  32. October 14, 2017 / 6:38 pm

    I really can’t imagine how awful this must have been for you, I’m so sorry for your losses. Thank you for talking about it so openly x

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:54 pm

      Thank you so much Emily. xxx

  33. October 14, 2017 / 8:04 pm

    My heart breaks for you. I don’t know how people find the strength. I have two friends that have been through similar devastation and I don’t know how they go on. They find their strength in the children they have but that doesn’t lessen their love or despair. People forget about that and that’s very sad. No heartache can be understood by someone on the outside but support can be offered and hopefully accepted. Big hugs. What an emotional post.

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:52 pm

      Thank you Suzy. I always used to think that if the worst happened to me I wouldn’t be able to go on either, but then it happens and you just find a way. Thank you for reading. xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:51 pm

      Thank you so much Kaz, sometimes no words are needed. xxx

  34. October 14, 2017 / 8:29 pm

    I almost don’t know where to begin. Losing a baby is horrendous. Losing 15 … I can’t begin to imagine the pain and the impact that would have on you emotionally and physically. You are awesome. That’s probably the only valid thing I can say with certainty. That you have managed to get up each morning and carry on through the pain and not just that, write your story so articulately… I’m in awe. You rock lady. ❤️

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:51 pm

      Ahh Jess, thank you so much. That’s so kind of you to say, I think when you are faced with such a loss you literally have no other choice than to keep going. xxx

  35. October 14, 2017 / 11:24 pm

    This is the most heartbreaking account Laura, I know that nothing I’ve been through could ever compare and I could never even begin to understand what you felt or what you went through. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through but I think you are beyond brave and amazing for being open on here about it.

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:50 pm

      Thank you so much Ellie, I think it’s so important to share, not just during babyloss awareness week but always. xxx

  36. October 15, 2017 / 2:01 am

    How utterly powerful this was to read. All women should have the opportunity to read about your experience, not to understand “what you are going through” because that will never happen. But to merely understand that there is an unimaginable grief and solitude that comes with the loss of a child. To understand that those who have experienced this pain will not be soothed by empty words, and these mothers’ needs after such a loss may be just as individual as they themselves are.

    Thank you for your courage and insight. Blessings to you and your family….

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:50 pm

      Thank you so much Carolina, I really appreciate others reading these posts as I know that they aren’t easy to read. Thank you for your kind words. xx

  37. October 15, 2017 / 2:32 am

    Laura, I want to send hugs and love and a world full of healing. xoxo #fabfridaypost

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:13 pm

      Thank you Lisa, much appreciated. xxx

  38. October 15, 2017 / 8:55 am

    What a heartbreaking account 🙁 We couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard its been for you and the family. Every loss is different, every story is different and nothing compares to the pain you feel.

    • Laura Dove
      October 15, 2017 / 1:12 pm

      Thank you so much, that’s so true. xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 9:27 am

      Thank you so much, it’s always an honour to share our story. xx

  39. October 15, 2017 / 4:07 pm

    Beautifully written as always my gorgeous friend. It’s so true every baby loss is unique to that person and their circumstances and every single one of them just as important in their own right. Lots of love xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:40 am

      Thank you Laura, I think it’s natural to try and compare but sometimes you just can’t make comparisons, sometimes it’s okay to simply say I’m sorry or I’m here for you. xx

  40. Sivjini
    October 15, 2017 / 4:12 pm

    Wishing you all goodness in the world. This is so heartbreaking. I am sure this powerful message will create awareness among others as well

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:39 am

      Thank you so much Sivjini. xx

  41. October 15, 2017 / 5:00 pm

    How very sad I totally agree no two losses can be the same , we are all different and grieve differently. All I can say is to be kind and compassionate towards some one in this situation.

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:39 am

      Thank you Nayna. That is exactly what we need to be when it comes to babyloss. xx

  42. October 15, 2017 / 5:58 pm

    Posts like this are why you are meant to be a blogger. Your writing is so raw, so emotionally charged, so heartfelt, and as a reader you read every word with your heart in your mouth. I know so often people feel the need to say something, anything, that the wrong thing comes out, but sometimes it’s ok to just say “it sucks, I’m there for you”, and give them a big hug. Thinking of you this week, and tonight especially xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:37 am

      Ahh Katy, that is so kind of you to say and means a lot to me after the last few weeks. You are so right, I think that’s the message I strive to share. Sometimes it’s okay to say nothing, perhaps I will write that blog post and really get that message out there. Thank you lovely. xxx

  43. October 15, 2017 / 7:02 pm

    This is very difficult to craft such feelings into blogpost, but you managed to do so. Totally heartbreaking yet beautifully written as always 🙂 More Power to you.

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:31 am

      Thank you Sonika, much appreciated. xxx

  44. October 15, 2017 / 10:56 pm

    Beautiful post and lovely of you to share. No one is ever going to know how each person feels every child is different every circumstance is different but what makes it better is that people are willing to listen and support not just compare

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:25 am

      Yes! That’s all it takes, I think people often feel the need to compare and it’s just so un-necessary. Just be there, listen and support. xx

  45. October 15, 2017 / 11:11 pm

    This post made me tear up, it’s terribly heartbreaking to read. Whilst I can never feel your pain, always remember you have the blogger community right beside you. Sending lots of love your way. Thank you for sharing x

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:25 am

      Thank you so much, that’s such a lovely thing to say and I feel that love absolutely. xxx

  46. October 16, 2017 / 6:46 am

    This is so heartbreaking but as usual you are spot on. No one can ever know how you felt. People just need to stop feeling like they have to say something and instead they need to just listen xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:23 am

      Yes!! You are so right, people feel as though they have to say something but usually end up saying the wrong thing. I always say a hug speaks volumes or simply to say, “I am here for you.” xx

  47. October 16, 2017 / 8:36 am

    As always you have said this way more beautifully than I ever could, its always hard to try and get across how heartbreaking something like this is and if you havent been through it you can never understand 🙁

  48. October 16, 2017 / 11:48 am

    I can’t bring myself to continue reading. This is breaking my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers for you mama. You are so strong.

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 9:06 pm

      Thank you Sarah. xxx

  49. October 16, 2017 / 11:56 am

    This post is beautifully written and heartfelt as always Laura. You have me in tears reading it and just imagining how you might have felt. I’m so very sorry for your losses. xx

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 9:06 pm

      Thank you so much Becky for reading, I know it’s never easy. It’s an important message to share. xxx

  50. October 16, 2017 / 7:08 pm

    You have summed this up so very well from a honest and personal place. I know my heart would absolutely break into tiny pieces even if half of this happened to me. Hopefully this post will make people more aware

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:34 pm

      Thank you Zena, I thought the same but when it happens you find a way to keep going. It really helps me to share. xx

  51. October 16, 2017 / 7:15 pm

    This is such a beautiful and yet heartbreaking post, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you have experienced. You are a complete inspiration.

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:31 pm

      Thank you so much Amy, that’s kind of you to say. xx

  52. October 16, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    This is so heart-breaking to read, but you’re right, every loss is unique and different to others x

    • Laura Dove
      October 16, 2017 / 8:29 pm

      Thank you, it’s a message I really wanted to get out there. xx

  53. keri brooks
    October 16, 2017 / 11:01 pm

    So sad to see how many family’s go through this huge hugs from a greiving mother to another my 1stdaughter and pregnacy i was only 23 and i lost another little girl 24wks at 7 days old prem baby. pregnancy is The scariest thing in the world I got my rainbow after 10years she’s 3 and I wonder how I survived now I have a meaning she needs me but before my miracle to be honest my life is a blur before her. The wave of light last night was beautiful to see all our babies rembered big h Thinking of you . Had tears reading this but it must have broken you to write about your angels big hugs mama X

    • Laura Dove
      October 17, 2017 / 10:02 am

      Ahh Keri I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter, it’s just heartbreaking isn’t it? Sometimes there are no words, but I know how precious these rainbows are and how they give us a reason to keep on going. Much love to you, and holding you in my thoughts. xxx

  54. October 17, 2017 / 9:14 am

    Such a heart wrenching post but written in a beautifully honest way, Laura. For all those parents who have experienced the pain of a loss of a child, this post is important. I thank you for sharing your story. #dreamteam

  55. October 17, 2017 / 10:32 am

    Oh, Laura…this is so gorgeously written and I am so incredibly sorry for your losses and your heartache. xxx

    • Laura Dove
      October 17, 2017 / 4:38 pm

      Thank you so much lovely. xx

  56. October 17, 2017 / 1:50 pm

    You are so right that one persons grief and lose cannot be compared to another’s. It brought me to tears to hear of your suffering. I hope your rainbows have brought you some much needed joy although I know they’ll never replace your precious lost babies x #triumphanttales

    • Laura Dove
      October 17, 2017 / 4:20 pm

      Thank you Amanda, they really have brought us so much happiness and comfort too. xxx

  57. October 18, 2017 / 7:18 am

    This has really made my eyes start to sting. I think the loss of the future was what hit me after my miscarriages and it was really difficult. I’m sorry you have had to go through so many painful moments. Sending love x

  58. October 18, 2017 / 10:14 am

    Crying so much reading this. It’s so hard losing a baby. And you’re right, no one can know exactly how you feel as no two losses are the time. No two people can feel exactly the same about something, I’m sure of it. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure it never gets any easier for you guys <3

    Louise x

  59. October 19, 2017 / 7:18 pm

    My heart aches reading what you’ve been through Laura and I can’t even begin to imagine how painful your journey must have been. You write so beautifully and your words reach out straight from your heart. You do so much to support other families by sharing your story and I really admire you for raising awareness in this way. With much love. xx #DreamTeam

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